By Jules
Feedback: Send Here
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I'm running out of witty remarks to put in here... *sigh* fiction!
Chapter 12I woke up in the same clothes from yesterday. Still lying in the same position I had been in when I threw myself on the bed. I thought maybe the knocking had been in my head, but as I heard the knocking again I realized it was the door. Someone was at my door. Sleepily I got off the bed and made my way to the door, opening it to face two of the saddest eyes I had ever seen before. Suddenly I was completely awake and in big brother mode. "Nick. What's wrong? Come in." I pulled his tall frame into my room and sat him on a chair. I could tell he had been crying, his eyes were red and puffy, his nose raw from over-blowing. I wanted to just gather him up in my arms and make all his hurt go away. Seeing him in this much pain caused me pain. He looked up at me and when he saw the concern in my eyes, he began a fresh wave of tears, sobs wracking his body. "Nicky. Tell me what's wrong. Please." I kneeled down so that I was at his level, running my fingers through his hair.
"Kev. I... I..." He took a deep breath and tried to collect himself. "I don't want to talk about it right now. I just wanted to tell you that I am going out today. I know we have the day off so I'm just going to get away from everyone and everything."
My mind went instantly into overdrive. Just 12 hours ago everything was fine. And now there was this. Something must have happened. He had changed his mind about us. About me. I started to panic, but realized that he didn't need a panicking Kevin. He needed a strong Kevin. The strong Kevin that had always been there since day one. The big brother of the group.
"Does that include me?" I said, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice.
"Does what include you Kev?" He asked, looking at me like a lost child. So innocent, so hurt. My heart broke all over again.
"You said you wanted to get away from everyone and everything. Does that include me?" I leaned over and traced his cheek with my fingers. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes.
"No." It was a whisper. I barely heard it but he said it and my heart filled with so much love I thought it was going to explode.
"Then I'm coming with you. We'll spend the day together. Just the two of us. If you want to talk about what happened, we'll talk about it. If you don't, we won't." I stood up and stretched. He stood as well catching me off guard. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I was stunned. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back, letting him know I was there for him.
"Thank you Kev." He whispered and smiled at me, trying to fight back a fresh round of tears.
"You don't have to thank me Nicky. I'll always be here for you." We stood there staring at each other for a few seconds, lost in the moment. "Nick. Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to jump into the shower and then get dressed. We'll go after that." He nodded and sat down, turning on the TV to pass the time.
I showered and got dressed, thinking about what had just happened. I didn't know what was bothering him, but for him to come to me and cry in front of me, it must have been big. Nick NEVER cried. And if he did, it was in the privacy of his own room. To break down in front of one of us meant that it was serious. I got dressed and joined him in the living room part of the suite. He was watching cartoons, his previous mood seemed to have disappeared.
When he saw me he turned to look at me and smiled, taking my breath away.
"Ready Nicky?" I asked getting my wallet.
"Yeah. I was thinking we'd go and walk the boardwalk. Do some shopping, get something to eat."
"Visit the beach." I filled in laughing at how his eyes lit up at the mention of the beach.
"Yeah. I guess we could do that too." He mentioned laughing with me.
So that's what we did. We walked along the boardwalk. It was really great to walk around and be able to be invisible. By invisible, no one knew who we were. We didn't bring any bodyguards, and just dressed down. No one had a clue who we were. It's very rare when that happened, so I knew today was a special gift just for us. Today was the first day of the rest of our lives. We ended up in an old book store looking for comics for Nick. I found myself in the back of the store where all the children's books were kept. I must have been there for longer than I realized because Nick came back looking for me. It wasn't until I felt his hand on my shoulder that I noticed him there. "Kev. You okay bro?" He asked tilting my head up.
"Yeah. Why?" I sniffed, surprised at the look of concern on his face.
"You're crying. What's wrong?" His finger dragged across my cheek, gathering up the tears I hadn't realized had fallen.
All I could do was show him what I was holding in my hand. It was a book. An old book from god knows when. He just looked at me, unsure of what he was looking at.
"My dad used to read me this when I was younger. Every night before I went to bed he'd read me this book. I knew it backwards and forwards, but he always made it seem new each time." My voice cracked and I began to cry once again. I put the book down and instantly his arms were around me. Holding me to him. Comforting me while memories of my father overwhelmed me. "Do you want to go?" He whispered to me when the sobs stopped.
All I could do was nod. He led me out of the bookstore, neither of us realizing we were holding hands until we reached the outside and found a bench to sit on. It was then I looked down and saw my fingers comfortably tangled in his own, my palm resting against his. He bent his head to see what I was staring at and he smiled, holding onto my hand tighter. "Amazing isn't it?" He whispered and I nodded. We sat there for a few minutes just staring until someone broke into our thoughts.
"Excuse me?" I heard a voice ask. I turned to see a girl about 17 standing in front of us.
"Yes?" Nick asked, subtly removing his hand from mine.
"Could you take a picture for us?" She asked giggling. We looked at each other and smiled. So much for us going unnoticed. "Sure" he replied as we got into position smiling for the camera.
She just stared at us with this blank look on her face. "Ummm no. Could you take OUR picture?" She asked, pointing to her boyfriend that was leaning up against the railing, waiting for our response. We both blushed. I know we did. She was looking at us like we were completely stupid and handed Nick the camera. He looked back at me as he followed her and laughed. We had to be the most egotistical people in the world. Of course we thought she meant she wanted our pictures. The thought that she wanted us to TAKE a picture for her hadn't even crossed our minds. Once Nick returned we both began to laugh at our mistake and the serious mood from before had been lifted. We walked a bit further and stopped to get ice cream. Nick finished before I had and he just sat and watched me eat my ice cream.
Suddenly he jumped up. "I gotta go to the can. Gotta piss." He said smiling at me.
"Thanks for sharing Kaos." I mumbled taking a lick of my cone. "I'll wait here." I wasn't going to move. I was happy where I was.
"Be right back." He called as he ran for the bathrooms. I laughed at what a big kid he was. He always managed to make every outing an adventure. He returned about 10 minutes later with a big smile on his face. "What took you so long?" I asked, my cone long ago eaten.
"Long line up. Got caught up by some chicks who recognized me. I didn't think I'd ever get back to you." He said pulling me to my feet. "Come on. Lets go and find something else to eat."
And we just spent the rest of the afternoon doing just that. Walking and eating and sightseeing. By the time we made it back to the hotel I was exhausted. It had been a perfect day. Nick still hadn't told me what had been wrong that morning but I knew that maybe it wasn't important. I mean, it was important that whatever it was hurt him, but it wasn't important for him to share. Whatever it was had been the cause for the best day I had had in a long long time. Every once in a while i'd find that Nick's hand had found it's way to my hip, just resting there casually, or i'd notice that our fingers had found themselves tangled in one another. We were always touching, secure in the knowledge that we were together, that it was us against the rest of the world. We made our way to our rooms and I noticed that he had passed his room and walked me to mine. I turned to look at him, silently asking if he wanted to come in. He smiled at me and I knew that he wouldn't. Too soon. Not ready. Not really anyways. I mean I was ready... Hell was I ever. But it wasn't the time. Today hadn't been about that. It had been about the emotional part. The spiritual connection. I knew that I had to tell him how I was feeling. Now was the time. He pulled me in for a hug and buried his face in my neck. I held him tight, noticing how he fit so perfectly in my arms.
"Thank you Kev." I heard him whisper into my ear before he pulled away slightly, our faces inches apart. I could feel his breath on my lips and we both shivered. My eyes locked with his and then his moved down to my mouth. And then he was there. His lips on mine. So soft and warm, pressed up against mine, making a million promises. My heart nearly exploded at first contact. He moved his lips slightly, seductively over mine and I groaned, kissing him back. He tasted so sweet, just like I had imagined. My hands moved to his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. If we hadn't been in a hotel hallway, I would have been convinced that fireworks were exploding around us. And as slowly as he kissed me, he stopped. We were both breathless, his forehead resting on mine. I hadn't opened my eyes, I wasn't sure if I could. When I finally did I saw the most beautiful sight ever. Nick just staring at me, his lips puckered, eyes glassy. Because of me. His lips were wet from my mouth, his eyes full of lust just for me. I smiled and said the only thing that my mind could process.
"Wow."
"Yeah wow." He agreed. We were leaning up against the wall. I was sure it was because we wouldn't have been able to support ourselves if it hadn't been there. That kiss left me dumb founded.
"I love you Nicky." I said. Actually I breathed it, my voice was still a little shaky.
"I love you too Kev." He whispered, leaning down to trail kisses up my jaw, sending a line of fire through my entire body. I wondered if he realized by that, I meant I was IN LOVE with him. I mean, we had always said 'I love you', since the beginning, but being IN LOVE was different. I meant to ask him about that, but then I realized where we were. In the hallway. Where anyone could find us. Anyone could see us. We needed to be more discrete.
"Nicky..we should.." He could see the panic in my eyes, hear the anxiety creeping into my tone.
"Shhhh.' He placed a finger over my lips to silence me.
"I think..." I tried again.
"You think too much." Nick replied before covering my mouth with his again. He must have figured that was the only way to shut me up. He was right. At that moment I didn't care who saw us, all that mattered was the two of us. His mouth on mine. I pulled his hips closer to mine and sandwiched myself between him and the wall. I could feel every inch of his body against mine and moaned against his lips. He took that as an invitation and carefully slid his tongue across my teeth, and further in to touch my own tongue. At that I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and held on tight. I was completely overwhelmed by the million sensations that Nick was eliciting in me. He laughed, vibrating against my body, causing me to laugh as well. He pulled away and looking into my eyes, softly kissed my mouth one last time. My body was completely relaxed. I wasn't sure if i'd be able to make it back into my room without help. I wondered how this would have looked to anyone passing by, and realized I didn't care. He loved me. I needed to know if he was IN love with me, but he loved me. And he had kissed me. Twice.
"Kev. Get some sleep. We have Rolling Stone tomorrow. Early interview. I know how you are if you don't get your sleep." He smiled at me and hugged me again.
"Goodnight Nicky." I said caressing his face.
"Goodnight Kev." He leaned in and kissed my forehead before walking the 10 feet to his door. I went into my room and again, had the most peaceful sleep I had been allowed in months.