By Jules
Feedback: Send Here
Rating: This part? R? (thought maybe it was time to change the rating..)
Disclaimer: unless proven otherwise... didn't happen
Chapter 11Well I survived the meeting with management without any further mishaps. Nick kept smiling at me every once in a while when no one was looking and that lessened the fear I had of AJ knowing who 'Nicky' was just a bit. I didn't know how I was going to approach telling everyone my feelings for Nick. My feelings for men in general. Like I said earlier, I knew that they might have an idea, but to actually verbalize it was another thing. Once the meeting was over I decided I needed to go back to the hotel and get some sleep. Just think things over. I walked towards the elevator and waited for it to arrive. When it did I stepped on, and as the doors were closing an arm reached in and held it open so they could get in. I wasn't really paying attention so when I looked up and saw Nick standing there, I was a little surprised.
"Hey." I said as he stood on the other side of the small space.
"Hey." He replied calmly. There was a comfortable silence lingering in the air. My mind was still wandering, but a few seconds later I could feel his eyes on me and I turned. He was staring at me.
"What?" I heard myself ask.
"Nothing." He replied and shrugged. What was that supposed to mean? He was looking at me as if he had something on his mind.
"You're staring." I noted.
"You're beautiful." He said and my stomach lurched. How he did that amazed me. With two words he could just turn my whole world upside down. Remind me why I loved him so much. I was speechless, and just stared at him. My face all furrowed, biting my lip, thinking deeply.
"There's something bothering you." He phrased it as a statement rather than a question. Like he knew that there was something bothering me and wanted me to know he knew. He was prodding for me to tell him without asking.
"AJ knows." I said softly taking a deep breath.
"About?" He asked. He was staring directly into my eyes. He had turned so that he was facing me and not the doors and had his hands in his pockets. It was a comfortable stance, but made it look so sexy. Like the position on the cover of Teen magazine that we were in a few months back. Just standing there, surveying me.
"Us." His face was unreadable when I said that one word. He turned to look at the numbers blinking above us. 7...8...9. He reached over and stopped the elevator and I felt my heart jump. How did I know he was going to do that. He was so predictable. I giggled in my head. He walked over to where I was standing and stopped inches away from me. He thought about what he was going to say and then spoke. "Say that again."
"I said, AJ knows about us." I was afraid he'd be mad. Afraid that he'd regret everything that had gone on. Not that much had really happened, but still. What happened meant a lot to me and I hoped it meant a lot to him. And then he smiled. Smiled the biggest most beautiful smile I had ever seen. He lifted his hands and I bit my lip, wondering what he was going to do next. He began to touch my face. Running his fingers all over my skin. My eyes, my lips, my nose, ears, neck. As if he was trying to remember this moment forever, imprint it in his memory to pull up later. I couldn't breathe at all. Could only stand there and watch. In awe of this beautiful creature in front of me. And then he was gone. He turned around and pressed the start button and the elevator jerked into motion. Taking us both up to the 12th floor.
His room was now on the 12th floor in every hotel as well. I wondered if it was to be closer to me. Why else would he suddenly have this obsession with the 12th floor? Silently, we walked to our respective rooms. Mine was a few doors further down the hall as his and he stood at his until I got to mine. I turned, knowing he was waiting for me to say something. He knew that I had something to say and just waited until I did. "How do you feel about that? What do you think?" I asked, unsure if I wanted the answer. Nick didn't respond. He just smiled at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing. It's just..." He trailed his sentence off.
"Just what?" I was curious now. He was being rather vague.
"You said us. We're an us. We're an us and someone knows. Just that. Goodnight Kev." And then he swiped his hotel key card and disappeared into his room leaving me standing in the hall thinking about what he just said.
"Goodnight Nicky".
All I could do was smile and go into my own room. I threw myself on the bed and thought about what had just happened in the hallway. We were an US. A couple. When the hell did that happen? When did we turn into an us? Had we always been an US? I guess we had. I was Nick's. At least I thought of myself as his. And he was mine. In my heart he was mine. I hadn't even looked at anyone else since this had all began. No one else even came close to what I felt for Nick. And he hadn't really seemed interested either since that night in the elevator. That night when I grabbed his ass. I thought about it. Where were we for that? HOLY SHIT! That was in TEXAS. We had been in Austin! I didn't remember anything about the town because all I could remember was being in that elevator and it being the first time I had really felt him, touched him. I was the person that Brian was talking about. I squealed out loud and giggled, needing to get the excess energy out. And then I began to really think about things. About all the secret glances we had shared when no one was looking. The reassurance that no matter where we were, the other wasn't too far away. When women had tried to pick Nick up, Nick ALWAYS would look at me and roll his eyes, as if embarrassed that it was happening. To show me that he wasn't interested, no matter how hot they were. It was in the touches that we shared. How Nick would lightly touch the small of my back to let me know he was there, or I would find a way to touch him when I passed him.
We were always taking care of each other without even realizing it. I always made sure he was eating enough, getting enough sleep, and he was always checking to see if I was okay. To make sure I wasn't too stressed out or anything. If I needed anything. We had become a couple and I hadn't even noticed. I had been so caught up in the teasing, the little encounters every once in a while that I had missed the in-between parts. The important parts. And then the teasing made sense. Everything that had happened in the past few months suddenly became clear. The teasing was a test for ourselves. We knew that it would stop the moment that the other got uncomfortable, that if it crossed a line, we would understand. But we were testing each other and ourselves to see if we were serious about this. About this US. If it was serious or just games. We knew that if we had have immediately jumped into something and the other wasn't ready for it, didn't know if this was what we wanted, it would ruin everything. Not just the band, but the friendship. And that was more important than anything.
I felt more calm than I had in a long time. A sense of peace filled me and I let out a deep sigh of content. I loved him. I was more in love with him than ever before. We were an us. I had a fucking boyfriend. Again, I giggled. I wanted to run over to his room and just jump on him, kiss him, hold him, beg him to make love to me, lie with him and feel him breathe, knowing that this heart beat for me as mine did for him. I didn't of course. I wasn't entirely sure that this was what he wanted. We still needed to talk, but for now, this was enough. My eyes began to droop and I knew I was exhausted. It had been a big day. A lot had been accomplished. It would have to wait for another day.