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I took the Greyhound Bus from Panama City, Florida to Biloxi, Mississipi and was met by John, Enrique’s friend from the Azores. John had been given a special duty assignment to Keesler and would be working as a technical instructor when he finished his training. It was nice to have a friend at Keesler, a place where I knew nobody.

John took me to the dormitory where I would be staying for the next five weeks. I would be sharing a room with another person, which was a surreal situation indeed. I definitely was not happy with my first roommate because she would allow her boyfriend to sleep with her in the room. I found it to be an uncomfortable situation to say the very least.

I decided that since I would have a lot of time on my hands that I would take up jogging. There was a scenic track on the base that I could use, so every day after school I would run six laps, which amounted to a mile and a half. I didn’t realise it at the time, but for the first time in a year I wasn’t totally exhausted. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I could do whatever I wanted to do.

Enrique came to Keesler after I had been there a couple of weeks. The plan was that he would visit me and then drive to Little Rock to spend some time with my family. That was the plan, anyway. Enrique always did exactly what he wanted to do with little regard for anybody else.

On the day Enrique arrived, we went to a party at John’s house. I can only suppose that Enrique loved being with John again because he seemed much more interested in his friend than me. By about 10:00 I was shattered and wanted to go home. I told Enrique that I would take Aaron back to the room we had rented. When I got home I settled Aaron into bed and went to bed myself, collapsing from exhaustion.

In the middle of the night I woke up to find my husband on top of me, relieving his sexual urges. Enrique never asked my consent. He just took what he considered to be his conjugal rights. He also made sure that I was sleeping when he did it because he did not want me to make a fuss. Now honestly, what kind of a man waits until a woman is asleep before he has sex with her?

Extensive studies into male behaviour have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the vast majority of men only get married for sex or money, or both. Enrique, therefore, must have thought that Christmas had come early when he met me because he got both sex and money without having to treat me with even an ounce of respect.

On the Sunday we decided to go to my room. Enrique promptly made himself at home on my bed and took a nap. Because I was tired, as usual, I lay down on the floor and dozed off into a fitful slumber. My health was so fragile that the mere act of sleeping on the cold floor was all I needed to propel me into yet another illness. Therefore, within 24 hours I already had chills and flu-like symptoms that I had become so accustomed to.

There was no possibility for me to phone in sick, which is what any reasonable person in a civilian job would be allowed to do. The military, however, takes a dim view of malingering, so people are forced to go to work even when they are unwell. Therefore, I somehow managed to attend my training course and look after Aaron even though I was extremely ill.

Enrique decided to throw a tantrum on the day he was supposed to leave to go back to Florida. We had arranged that he was supposed to meet me at my 10:00 break, so when we were released from class I went to the lady’s room and proceeded took for Enrique and Aaron whilst speaking to a colleague as I walked down the hall.

Enrique must have been incensed to see me enjoying myself and speaking to someone, so the minute he saw me he started yelling at me and made a scene in front of everyone in the building.

I tried to explain to Enrique that I had to use the toilet during my break, but it was no good. He, having been in the military himself, knew very well that I could not just get up and leave whenever I wanted, so I was understandably perplexed by his behaviour.

I went to give Aaron a hug and a kiss before he left, but Enrique yanked him from me before I could say farewell to my son. I suppose even then Enrique knew he could use Aaron to hurt me, which goes a long way to describe exactly how his mind works. I was very hurt by what Enrique had done, but I repressed any feelings I had. Having endured an abusive childhood and subsequent marriage, I learned a long time ago to survive even under the most austere of circumstances.

Within a couple of days of Enrique’s leaving, I developed a boil on my labia majora, which was quite painful because I had a great deal of difficulty sitting, walking, or doing just about anything. It is interesting to note that when I was with Enrique I was always coming down with illnesses, and many of them were sexual in nature. He initially passed on urinary tract infections to me and this had progressed to boils. Enrique had also rubbed me raw on one occasion and I was in so much agony that I had a great deal of difficulty walking. In addition, I would suffer flu like symptoms almost on a monthly basis. Thanks to Enrique, my health had gone to Hell in a hand basket.

Because I was in so much pain, I made an appointment to see a doctor that afternoon. The appointment interfered with my course, and I was therefore obliged to tell my instructor that I had to leave early to see a doctor. From the look on his face, it was obvious he was not happy that I had to leave early. Although he did not say I could go, I was unnerved nonetheless.

Whilst at the doctor, I was prescribed antibiotics, which seemed to clear up the problem.

It was also around the time that I was plagued with a boil that I succumbed to yet another urinary tract infection. That too was just one more consequence of having sexual intercourse with Enrique. I have no idea why I had so many health problems since marrying him. Maybe one day he will be able to shed a little light on that little mystery for me.

One evening when I was standing in the foyer of the dormitory a tall, young, good looking man approached me and began a conversation. I was so naïve that I had no idea this man was trying to chat me up, so I innocently kept up the banter. To be honest, I had been rejected, humiliated, and degraded by my husband so much that I was not aware of the fact that many men saw me as attractive.

As Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, would say, I was an affair waiting to happen.

It was during this presumably innocent conversation that Patrick asked me if I would help him with his coursework. He was attending the basic electronic course and related to me that he was having difficulties calculating peak, peak to peak, and average voltage. I loved electronics and was quite happy to help him with the areas that he told me he was having difficulties with.

I have to say that I was so naïve and considered myself to be so unattractive that I really believed he needed help with his studies. Anyone more streetwise, however, would have been able to spot his chat-up line a mile away.

We set a day and time for me to go to Patrick’s room and help him with his studies. I went to his room and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. It was one of the first times in an extremely long time that anyone paid any attention to me at all. I left Patrick’s room floating on air. He took an interest in me, which is something that so rarely occurred in my life. I must say that the only interest that Enrique ever took of me was when he wanted me to pay the bills, clean the house, or operate as a vehicle to allow him to release his sexual urges.

Patrick agreed to go running with me, which I thought was a very nice thing to do. Once we were on the track, however, it was clear that the running arrangement was clearly not going to work out. My running partner was almost a foot taller than me, and being much healthier, he was naturally swifter.

Patrick also took me to the movies at the mall in Biloxi. It seemed that within a very short time we were spending a great deal of time with each other. I did not realise it, but the attention he paid to me made me really like him a lot.

I suppose that I did feel a bit guilty for spending time with a man who was not my husband, so I decided to give Enrique one last chance to redeem himself.

I phoned him and began a rather innocuous conversation, just to see how it would go. I then made sure that I threw in one important question.

“Do you miss me?”, I asked my husband.

“No…..!”, Enrique sneered back.

That was all I needed to know. In our entire relationship I had never made any demands whatsoever on Enrique. He pretty much did as he pleased and I organised my life around him. In 4 ½ years I had never asked Enrique for a thing. All I wanted to know was if he had missed me, and through his own admission, he didn’t.

If Enrique did not miss me then as far as I was concerned, I could do pretty much what I wanted, couldn’t I? Relationships are about mutual love, respect and trust, and that is something I had never experienced with Enrique, or any other man for that matter.

Because Enrique treated me with complete disregard and contempt, I did not see any reason why I should not spend time with Patrick, since he obviously was interested in me. I therefore agreed to go to the NCO Club with Patrick for dinner. I must say that was one of the first times that a man had ever taken me to dinner. Most of the men I went out with always behaved as if I should be grateful they were taking me out.

I was so nervous about going with Patrick that I literally could not eat. I had lost my appetite from the excitement of what I was doing.

It was that evening that I went to bed with Patrick. I really could not believe it was all happening; it was such a surreal experience. I felt very guilty about what I had done, but it was too late. I already knew that I was an adulterer. I was destined to burn in Hell for my sin. The scarlet letter had been indelibly marked on my forehead. During my infatuation, I wrote Patrick a love letter, telling him that he was my night in shining armour. When I gave him the letter, he did not seem to be overly impressed with it.

I did not realise it because I did not have enough experience to know, but Patrick was bored already. For him, as with most men, the thrill was in the chase and conquest. After he got what he wanted, which was me, he was not interested anymore. Just like a wild animal, Patrick did not want to maintain a lasting relationship. The chase was what motivated him to take any interest in me at all. It is such a shame that I was not more streetwise and astute to the ways of wild men.

It just so happened that my affair with Patrick started at the very end of my time at Keesler, so it lasted for a grand total of three days. For me, it was short and very, very intense.

As I was preparing to leave Keesler, I went to see John at his home. I related to him that I had met someone and John told me that he did not want to hear it. John was really Enrique’s friend and not mine, and he justifiably did not want to get involved in my love life. John was not entirely unsympathetic, however, because he invited me over to his home on my 23rd birthday and seven months pregnant. Although John never said anything about his friend’s erratic behaviour, he certainly could not have been pleased about it.

John also told me that he could understand why I would want to leave Enrique because he knew something was definitely not right in his head. John took particular offence at the fact that during Enrique’s final commander’s call, instead of saying farewell gracefully, he stood up and gave a long-winded speech and basically told everyone to fuck off. Needless to say, Enrique must have offended a lot of people when he gave that speech. I personally don’t recall exactly what he said because I was still zoned out from giving birth.

My course finished on 3rd July but I decided to spend one last day with Patrick. I felt very guilty about what I had done and told him so. He was not particularly bothered about my feelings that I had sinned because his motivation was primarily sexual in nature. In respect, I suppose I was just one of many women who Patrick had bedded when he was away from home.

Patrick was not concerned in the least that he had torn my emotions apart. To him, a typical womaniser, I was not a person with feelings and emotions, but just another conquest. Once he had me he did not want me anymore.

It was also one day I spent with Patrick that I noticed a duality to his personality. He seemed to be very paranoid that someone was going to steal his credit cards. While he told me quite clearly he did not like black people, he went out of his way to make conversation with them and even went so far as to change his way of speaking to sound blacker. For Patrick it was all just a game. Because I was so naïve and inexperienced, I had no idea how insincere he really was.

On 5th July, the day that I left Keesler, Patrick agreed to say goodbye to me before he left. When he arrived, I could tell that he was clearly preoccupied. He seemed to be more concerned about how he looked in his uniform than saying goodbye to me.

I was unhappy to say goodbye to Patrick. It seemed like we had only just got together and now we had to part. Perhaps that was the appeal for Patrick. He knew I would be leaving before he had an opportunity to become bored, which was probably part of the appeal.

I took the bus back to Panama City and cried the whole way home.