Foggy with a forecast of part sun
I feel really sleepy today. Tea is doing nothing to wake me up. Made pancakes for breakfast, but that didn't help energize me either. Another 6 or 8 hours of sleep sounds nice. Not gonna happen though.

We only have 2 chapters left in the 2nd book of the Dragons In Our Midst series, and we havne't bought the 3rd book yet! And the 4th one doesn't come out until November! I'm going to go insane! (Yes, short trip, I know... I've been there before.) The point being that they are very good books and I wish the publishers would hurry up with the printing of the 4th book. I'm very worried there is going to be a 5th one after that which we will have to wait another year for or something. That would be torture...

I've about given up on the Harry Potter books ever being finished. I can't even remember the details anymore, it's been too long. Both series are very good though, and about equivalent for captivation, reading level and similar fantasy genre. Highly reccomended!

I've added some new links to the sidebar the past few days. Some people have emailed me about various topics, so I've attemped to include the links to resources here when possible. The Punch! Professional software is the program that I used to draw the house plans with. Bible Gateway is an excellent Bible search tool, as well as councelling books resource. Milkshape is the program that I use to draw the 3D models for the game. The SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) is a Multi-national organization that studies Medieval era history and meets together for celebrations, demonstrations and re-enactments. We are friends with the creator of the RPG Claymore! and have played the game with him. He has put years of work into it's development and the game is well organized and fun to play. If you're looking for a Christian based alternative to D&D then give Claymore! a try.

If you're looking for educational resources, for homeschooling or otherwise, I've included a few of my favorites. This is by no means an exhaustive list (indeed, I could fill an entire page with just links on educational resources!) but is a good starting point. If you are interested in science, and looking for simple but fun activities you can do with common household items, I highly reccomend joining Robert Krampf's mailing list for *Experiment of the Week*. If you have any science related questions, he does also answer his emails. We're going to do a crystal growth experiment using a Rock Candy recipe he developed.

And now RL is commanding my attention. So I must post this before it is lost. Blessings to you all.

Liquid sunshine
Indeed, today is overcast with spatterings of liquid sunshine breaking through. (Otherwise known as rain.) Good day to stay indoors, drink hot tea, and read a book.

Which is exactly what we'll be doing today, since the children are sick. My youngest is having asthma to go along with her cough and congestion, she's having a rough time of it. But she's a trooper, and we have modern medicine to help her, so we'll be ok. The boys have a cough and congestion too, but thankfully they don't have the complication of asthma. Why is it that some people just seem more suceptible to illness in general, and some are effected by it more strongly? Even people within the same family.

If I get some time, I'll work on my 3D model again today. But the one I'm working on is one that I want to keep secret until the players discover it all on their own in the game experience. I might be able to show some older models I've already completed for the game though, if anyone is interested in seeing screenshots. So far all I have drawn is animals.

We are still hoping to find a couple more people with talents in animation, and interface before we spend time working on the human models, for technical reasons. It's hard to find people willing to work for free though, and we don't have any funding to pay salaries. And we can't get loans because we have no revenue with which we could make monthly payments prior to release of the game. So, we just keep on, and keep praying, and understand that progress will be slow for a while, until we can get some of the major obstacles cleared out. We'll get there though. I always feel at peace, like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, when I'm working on the game. So until God completely closes the door and opens no others, I will keep persuing this goal.

overcast
Well, I actually got up showered and dressed, and got breakfast done an hour before church starts. However it seems that 2 or possibly 3 of the children are sick with a croupy kinda sounding cough, so we won't be going to church today after all. They are watching SuperBook and Flying House videos instead.

We're having Chai tea with BBQ smokies and hot biscuits for breakfast. Probably won't go out or do much today. Hubby and the kids have a science experiment with crystals planned for the morning. I'm sure a session of WOW will happen at some point in time.

I finished the drawing of the Eagle for my Grandma a couple days ago. I think it turned out pretty well. There were lots of delays and interruptions while making, which is why it took so long. I hope she likes it. Here is a digital image of the drawing (reduced size and resolution in hopes that it will load faster) in case anyone might be interested in seeing it.

The evening is winding down. I'm letting my son make pancakes for supper. The youngest one thinks this is a marvelous exciting thing, the middle son is throwing a fit because people aren't supposed to eat pancakes for SUPPER (he wanted pasta instead) and my oldest is getting to the age where he is just glad we're serving food again. :P

I had a real nice visit with the man who owns the frame shop today, and an artist friend of his who entered the store while I was there also. They offered some good advice and a few tips on where to go to ask if my pictures can be displayed in their businesses. Now I just have to figure out how to afford frames, as they can not be on display without a frame. He said he liked my drawings. The encouragement was nice.

(Written the evening of the 23rd, posted the morning of the 24th)

ruined
Mood:  sad
I made a heartbreaking discovery today. The drawing of my daughter that I did 3 years ago, where I drew her face and then added elven ears, long hair and fairy wings.... It has been lost for 2 years. I finally foudn it today. With some mysterious black substance, possibly printer ink or finger paint, smudged on it. It is ruined. Just as someone was actually interested in looking at my work. :( With every moment of joy or hope seems to come a double serving of anguish or disaster. I feel like I can not win.

I was reminded of the verse in Matthew chapter 6 that says, basically, do not treasure the things of this world, where moths and rust destroy. But store up your treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (I didn't look up the exact translation, you may do so if you wish.) I do know and beleive that God knows our needs and will provide for us, because we have asked him to. And I am trying to use my talents for His glory. Perhaps I am doing it all wrong... I don't know. I can't seem to get it right. I just feel discouraged today. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Cloudy
Looks like more busyness is in store for the day. Things to do, places to go. Perhaps I will hear back from one of the people I called yesterday about creating Lithographs of my drawings, or about having them displayed on consignment in a gallery. What I wish I had been able to learn in college, that I don't even know if any classes taught such a thing, was how to break into the artists market. I can draw, but I don't know how to attract buyers for my work. Who buys pencil drawings?

But today started out with donuts and chai tea. So it can't all be bad right? I should take my vitamins too, so hopefully I won't feel so sleepy all day.

Yesterday I took the kids out for a drive. And while I did find some construction sites, I couldn't tell where they were throwing their scrap wood. It all looked mixed together with the good wood, I don't know how the workers can find their new wood when it's all piled together with the scraps like that... but either way, I didn't want to take something that wasn't acceptable, so just decided not to try that for now. And then we went for a drive up the mountain, looked at some truly gorgeous properties. And some places back there were thickly wooded enough that it looked much like Idaho. Beautiful.

It's been brewing for a while I suppose, but yesterday it hit me full force and once again I started wishing for a bigger house so each of the kids could have their own room, and a place in the country so I can have the farm animals I want. And so I came home to see if there were any 5+ bedroom houses for sale around here. I found three 6 bedroom houses and one 8 bedroom house listed. Two of the 6 bedroom and the 8 bedroom houses were all in town on smaller lots, for nearly $300k. The one I wanted the most was the 6 bedroom house on 53 acres in the country, but it was $580k. That's not gonna happen any time soon! :( If ever. And then the other houses of similar size for sale were $700-999k Totally and completely beyond my faintest dreams.

So, here we are in our small house, living our small lives. And my brain is back to arguing with itself about how I should be grateful for what I have, and how at least this house is bigger than the 2 bedroom apartment we lived in before we moved here, and how many people in the world are less fortunate than us. And it's hard to listen to all those arguments when I see what seem slike veryone I know in bigger houses with more land or better features than what we have. And I know I'm being selfish, so I have to just stop, and give it to God. It's hard to keep from wanting what I can not have.

Ah well, dreams are exersice for the imagination, right? Back to my fantasy land... I have a model to work on this morning, as well as everything else on my schedule for the afternoon.

Blue skies & sunshine
Mood:  not sure
Well today is starting off a bit dissapointing. Tried to make camping reservations for August and the entire month is already booked at the campground I wanted to go to. Apparently we have to plan our August camping trip 9 months beforehand to get the place we want. Now I have to decide if I want to go someplace else or just skip it alltogether.

I had an idea this morning for a possibility of creating space in the playroom so that we can convert it into a bedroom (or restore it to it's intended purpose anyway). Of course, it still involves spending money on brackets and latches, and rollers, which is exactly why I haven't gotten Kaiya's Christmas present finished yet, we never have money for the hardware I need to fasten it all together. So I may not be able to carry through with this idea either, I don't know. But it seems we will never be able to afford $200 for store-bought storage units, and I'm trying to figure out some reasonable ideas. I built a chicken house out of scrap lumber, I don't see why I couldn't build toy boxes out of it also? Just needs to be sturdy enough and safe enough for the children. Anyway, I haven't figured it all out yet. Still need to do some planning.

We went to Wilco yesterday and looked at the baby birds they had in. The little Chukar Partridge chicks are the cutest things ever!! They're so tiny you could stand one on a quarter (if you could get it to stand still HAHA) and so fluffy and busy, running around looking curious, and hiding under the few little evergreen branches the store people had put in there for them. The black ducks were adorable also, I really wanted to bring them home with me. I know we can't until we get a house in the country (IF we ever get a house in the country) but they were very cute and I would love to raise them up and set them loose in our back yard. :) I'm sure the kids would love to make a pond for them, and probably go swimming with them in it as well.

Well, I've been AFK for over an hour now. Life is demanding my attention again, so I may as well just stop here. Can't remeber what else I might have been going to say anyway. Blessings to you all.

One more bit of trivial fantasy...
Just wanted to add that a few days ago (Thursday I think it was?) when I finally put the roof on my imaginary house, I also redesigned the ground floor to include a guest room. This caused the Theatre (private livingroom) to be somewhat smaller also, as it donated some space to that purpose, but also gained a closet in the process. (Something I struggle against continuously in this small house we live in is that there is never anywhere to PUT anything! So frustrating to not have enough closet space, and shelving space. So in my dream home I want at least 1 closet for every room! Can never have too many closets!) Anyway... here it is, including with a 3-D view of the house from the front entry. The Office entry is on the same side of the house as the garage doors. This is of course on an imaginary property so no sidewalks or city streets or other things have been included in the design as I have no way of knowing where those would be if we ever actually had a chance to build this. (HAHA - if you're gonna dream, dream big, right?) Anyway, without further adieu... here it is.

Overcast with intermittent rain
Mood:  rushed
Had a busy weekend, that ushered in a busy Monday, possibly foreshadowing a busy week ahead. That remains to be seen...

Saturday I skipped my Mom's meeting in order to stay and visit with my Aunt & Uncle who arrived early that morning. They had brought 2 more computers down for my Hubby to fix, and to pick up the others they had left a couple weeks before. He was able to fix all 5 of my Aunt & Uncle's computers, some of which they had been told by other computer repair men that they were unfixable. My hubby knows his stuff! At least one of their computers was supposed to be a "top of the line" computer that was custom built for them - what they actually got was a bunch of leftover junk from someone's garage looked like. So sad that people will prey on other people like wolves to a lamb. Anyway, we fixed their computers, and they took our family out to lunch, and it all worked out pretty well in the end.

Then Sunday I took the children to church, came home, relaxed most of the afternoon playing WOW. I got so sleepy I couldn't hold my eyes open and took a nap even. Though I still woke up feeling panicked with nightmares. That's why I don't usually take naps. Our son made it back from his trip safe and sound, and we all enjoyed the evening playing computer games and resting. I made home-made chicken soup for supper and hot tea to drink to try and fend off the feeling that I was coming down with the Strep Throat my husband is just recovering from. Seems to have helped, I feel better today.

Then this morning I launched another attack against the perpetual ant invasion. We spread Diatomaceous Earth all around the outside of the house over the weekend. And this morning I mopped the kitchen and hallway with pure chlorine bleach to try and eliminate their trails and discourage them from wanting to come back in. *I* don't even want to be in my house when the bleach is burning my lungs, hopefully the ants will stay away. I'm tired of defending my home against the invading armies, it is continuously frustrating and aggrivating on a discouraging and demoralizing level.

At some point I'm going to have to tackle the task of re-designing my website also. It's terribly neglected and most of the pages have not been updated in a couple years. The menu page is a mess, and I need to work on some new content as well. I might just start over from scratch and trash the rest of it. Haven't really decided yet. We are also debating as to how much information to release about the game we are working on, and how much to preserve until we get something produced that is closer to a beta release version of the game. You'll know what we decide when I finally create and publish the web page for that. ;)

Anyway, I guess that's about all for now. I have kids to teach, and errands to run, and things to do. Hope you all have a wonderful week!

Sprinkling
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Give them all to Jesus (by Evie)
Why is it that despite your best efforts to set forth a plan for the day, with specific goals to accomplish, that some mornings when you get up the devil sideswipes before you're even fully awake? He has a way of turning the slightest little oversight into a complete emotional breakdown, fully crushing any will to succeed you might have had just moments before. I hate days that start out like this. I feel like I have no control over my circumstances whatsoever, and I just want to give up, lay down and die.

Dear God, I pray that will send Your angels to protect me against further attacks against my spirit, and that You will grant me wisdom and strength to do the things I need to do, and the courage to do them. Help me to overcome my emotional weaknesses, and heal my wounds. And as always, I pray that You will bless my family and friends everywhere. Amen.