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Random Ponderings...
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
A lull in the storm
Ahh finally, a chance to gulp for air in the drowning chaos. I have had a chance to even catch up on emails today! I was looking through my addressbook and realised there are a LOT of people whom I have not heard from in a very long time, some for 1 or more years. I've spent the morning and part of the afternoon sending out short little, "Hey! How are ya?" type emails, and as suspected many of the old email addresses are no longer valid. But I have heard back from a couple of people. So that is exciting. I hate losing friends, and I don't let go easily. It's so hard to find good friends in this chaotic world we live in. We gotta hold on tight to the friends we have! And I think perhaps, if we have lost friends in the past, it's never too late to try and make amends.

As long as we are still breathing, God has a purpose for our lives. He commanded us to "Love one another".

Blessings to you all, and may friendship warm your hearts for all the days of your life.

-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 1:10 PM PDT
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Monday, July 25, 2005
Frustration and more Chaos
Today was just ... MONDAY. The internet (at least on my end) has been cranky and irritating all day. It took me 4 hours of fighting with the internet to get to my mail. My connection was S-L-O-W like acting as if it were dial-up slow. Definitely wasn't getting the value for my $ for cable internet today. I spent the day running Spybot and Housecall and Windows Updates. In addition to normal family chaos, and trying to catch up on some work and bookeeping that I have been too busy to keep up with over the past month, I just felt very stressed today.

Didn't start out bad, I was getting some drawing done and had a fairly quiet morning. A little sad that after only 1 month I quit the DawnTide team. I learned a lot through that experience. Mostly I learned that I need a team that is courteous and respectful to everyone, or I don't perform well. I do not thrive well in a high irritation environment. But I also gained something positive from the experience: Hope. I learned that it really is possible to gather a team of volunteers from around the globe and produce an online game. And I learned a couple ideas of how to accomplish that as well. I'm sure there will be complications, but I believe that with God, all things are possible.

Thank you for your prayers and your attention.
Blessings to you.
-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 7:20 PM PDT
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Wierdness and Chaos
Okay, i have STARTED to submit an entry to this blog for 3 days over the past week. Each time I have had to leave the house, reboot my computer or some other moment of chaos has taken over my life so that I was not able to complete my post, and I've had to start over. So here I am, trying again.

I really wanted to post about the wierdness that detailed my life last Friday. Perhaps some of you can relate. And those of you who can't relate, well, you can just learn from my experiences that sometimes strange things happen which are beyond your control, regardless of any action on your own part. This type of thing happens to me on a more subtle level quite frequently, but Friday was just "One of THOSE days".

The night before we had gone to our friends house for a visit, and so my husband could fix their computer for them. Comcast went to their house to fix their modem and ended up breaking their network, so my husband fixed it for them. We went in the car, instead of the truck, which is unusual because the car only seats 5 people (we have 6 in our family) but one child was at camp, so it was ok this time. Friday afternoon I was supposed to go to clean house for the lady who gave us the puppy. I had planned to leave the house about 1:00, around noon as I was finding all the kids shoes and getting everyone ready to go, I realised I didn't know where my pouch was. I looked everywhere. I looked in the truck 3 times. I looked everywhere in the house again. I called my friend to see if I had left it at her house. No where to be found. So I called my husband at work to have him go look in the car. A few minutes later he calls back, yes, it's in the car at work with him. So I have to call the lady and explain all this to her and postpone the housecleaning for later that day, because I can't leave the house until my husband gets home from work with my pouch. Within 20-30 minutes of hanging up from talking to her, my cousins show up on my doorstep. (They live about 3 or 4 hours from us, and have never been here before, so this was rather a surprize I can tell you!) I had absolutely no clue they were coming. Her husband was complaining that MapQuest doesn't give proper directions to our house, and I'm explaining how very lucky they were to find us home at all, because I was supposed to be out of town cleaning house for the lady at that moment. They had come to pick up their laptop which my husband repaired for them, and after a bit of a misunderstanding about the cost of the repairs, they left to find some food. My husband left work on time (as opposed to getting overtime, so it was like he was leaving early) so that I could get up to the house and do the work I had agreed to do. Thankfully the housecleaning experience was without frustration or chaos, and went quite smoothly. However, I was very tired afterwards, and it was hot out, and we were about 2 hours past our normal dinner time and everyone was famished, so my husband decided it would be alright if we spend a little bit of his computer repair money on a cheap dinner at Wendy's. I very gratefully agreed to this idea. So I'm standing in line quietly, waiting my turn. There were about 2 people in front of me and 2 behind me. When I got to the register the lady behind the counter asked me, "Is this for here?" And I said, "No it's to go, I'm ordering for my whole family." She replies, "Oh dear." And then she looks at the man in line behind me, and asks him, "How many items will you be ordering, Sir?" to which he answers "Oh I don't know. Just a hamburger and cup of chili I guess. Not real sure yet." So she looks at me and asks, "Would you mind if he goes first?" I stand there for a moment of stunned silence, and then say, "But I was here first?". She waved her hand and said "Oh, well nevermind then."

I still can't beleive she said that... I have never had to defend my place in line at a place of business before to the chashier! In grade school when I was in line for the school lunch, kids used to push me out of line, and then tell the teacher I was taking cuts when I tried to reclaim my place. And I had kids push me out of the seats on the school bus when I was growing up. But supposedly we're all adults now, I've moved 1500 miles away from the town I grew up in. And this was a professional place of business. I'm planning to order 6 meals (which actually she didn't even know how many people were in my family because they were all out waiting in the car with my husband, all I said was that I was ordering for my family), which should equate to a fair amount of money in relation to the per-person sales. And she is asking me to step back in line? People are strange.

So, fast-forward to today, and we are again at a food establishment. This time, it is a city program to provide free lunches to the children in the community during the summer when public schools are not in session, adults pay a modest price if they wish to eat with their children. It seems like a good program. It provides meals to disadvantaged families and bored children alike in a very non-judgemental setting. There is no application fee, or disclosure of personal financial status. Just if you are a kid you eat free, if you are an adult you can opt out or pay a modest fee to eat. Neat huh? And then afterwards the kids can go out to the school yard and play on the playground. So I met a friend and her children at the cafeteria, I took the kids to eat, I had already eaten at home. My children, due to being homeschooled I suppose?, are not used to eating quickly and by the time they were done eating our friends had already left the playground. But I decided to let the kids play a while anyway. They have different toys on the school playground than at the city parks we usually go to, and it looked like fun.

I won't be taking the kids to the free lunch at the school again. While I was out on the playground with the kids after eating, one boy called me over "Hey Lady!" So I responded, and he said "Isn't Pot good for you?" I said "What?" He said "Pot is good for you right?" I said "No. No it is not." and he said "But it prevents cancer and stuff like that" It seemed he was trying to convince his friend to try pot. I said "No, it is not good for you. It destroys your brain cells and adulterates your behavior patterns so that you can't make wise decisions." And he said "But I can make wise decisions" and then started this lying game where one minute he says he never has smoked pot and the next he says he smokes it every day. I just gathered up the kids at that point and left.

I suppose this is the type of socialization that pubilc schooled children get that everyone says our children are missing out on? Thanks, but no thanks! I thank the Good LORD and our government legislators who have made it legal for me to school my children at home where I can teach them the difference between truth and lie, the difference between medicine and drug abuse, and the difference between right and wrong. From that brief interaction with that boy, I can see that such values are not upheld very highly among school children these days. I may be subject to random moments of uncontrollable chaos, but I like to hang on to as many variables as it's possible for me to control. And I am thankful for the chance to homeschool, a privledge we have in this country that I can control how my own children are educated, and by whom they are educated. People fuss a lot about freedoms, and lack of freedoms, in the news and media. But I would like to salute our American Soldiers who dedicate their lives to making sure that we have such freedoms as these.

God bless the USA!
-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 2:07 PM PDT
Updated: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 2:19 PM PDT
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Thursday, July 14, 2005
Quick note
Just a quick note. I don't have much time to post today. havne't had much time to do a lot of things lately. I've been drawing 3D models like crazy. Takes up all my time and brain power. By 5 pm my brain is mush.

Yesterday we got the IRC chat working properly, and today I added a link to it from the website. Obsey created a front-end IRC server so that people can use it like a chat room without having to download mIRC if they don't want to. Very versitile this way. You can find the link to it from any Visions webpage. www.visionsgame.com

Now I have to get the kids shoes on and get them to gym day exercises. Hope you all are doing will. Keep praying for us. And if you are interested in helping with the VISIONS game project, read the bottom of the FAQ page for ways you can contribute.

Blessings to you.
-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 1:05 PM PDT
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Saturday, July 9, 2005
twice bitten
Last night as I got into bed, I felt something bite me. I smacked at my back under my shoulder and thought I killed whatever it was that bit me, assuming it was a mosquito. We get those in our house sometimes. But then it felt like I got bit again... in the same spot. I figured it was just the first bite being irritated... but when I went to scratch at it I squished something big... definitely not a mosquito! I think it was a spider. My husband said the bites were swelling up fast so I put peppermint oil on me and he put hydrocortizone cream on me. I think the swelling stopped at that stage. But today they have been itching and buring, and my left arm has started to hurt as well, down to my wrist. Maybe the two are unrelated. It's the same arm that I got the infection from the dog bite in back in January and could still be residual effects from that too. But it sure isn't fun to get attacked by spiders in my own room.

Other than that, had a pretty good day. I got a new mouse for my computer today. My old one was running off to the left all the time, making it hard to draw the models I've been working on. This one is cordless, and I like it so far.

I also had a wonderful experience this afternoon. We were driving down the highway toward home from shopping, and suddenly my husband slammed on the brakes. Half frightened I asked, "What happened?!" And he said, "I want to go back and look at that". My husband never wants to go back and look at anything so I knew this had to be good!! I was very interestd now, and half expecting to see a motorcycle or a Datsun-Z for sale or something. He turned around on the highway and drove back about a half a mile. And there on the side of the road, with two large orange-spray-painted signs saying *FREE* were three boxes of used picture frames! All shapes and sizes of picture frames. I didn't ask twice. I jumped out and loaded them into the truck. Getting frames for my drawings has been very much the most intimidating and expensive part of trying to use my art. And here God provided 3 boxes of frames for me. Not very many large ones, but perhaps I can start drawing some small pictures too. :) Miracles do still happen, just people don't know how to recognise them anymore. Yet small miracles are every bit as amazing.

"Thank you God, for providing for us and for directing our paths in the direction You would have us to go. And thank you for continually reminding us that You are here, and real, and alive, and helping us. Amen."

-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 9:34 PM PDT
Updated: Saturday, July 9, 2005 10:04 PM PDT
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Thursday, July 7, 2005
We have babies!
It HATCHED!

We had this Praying Mantis Egg case, and all of us had given up on it really. Because some of them in the store were hatchingthe day I bought this one so we started to believe that ours was among those that had hatched already. But today, it hatched! We have baby mantises! Or mantii... or whatever the plural of a Praying Mantis is... about 150 of them I think. At least 100. I took a picture of them in the jar before releasing them in our yard. (Yes there are wild mantises here, we're not introducing anything that wasn't here already.) Quite impressive, all those babies at once! We didn't see them actually coming out of the case. Just saw them after it happened. I have read that they all come out all at once, and they must have because this morning there were none, and then I got up from my computer as I walked by the jar it was full of them!
Yes yes, I know, you want to see the picture and not listen to my babbling on endlessly. Alright then...




I know it's not the best picture in the world but I don't have a very good camera. This is the best of 6 shots I took. You can kinda see how many there are in there. Quite fascinating.

And yes, I apologize for not posting to my blog more often lately. I have been VERY busy, working on both games simultaneously (mostly working on drawing models for DawnTide) and not had time enough to stop and write a post. I've been drawing fairly non-stop since last week, and feel like I have a tremendous distance yet to go before we get to a point where I feel like I've contributed anything much to DawnTide. Wiz has put together a team of enthusiastic volunteers, and is coordinating the progress of Dawntide quite impressively. I'm honored to be on the team.

Also last week, a friend of ours (Obsey) donated server space and his time to help us set up the FTP & Web server and keep it running. So now we have our official website for Visions up and available for viewing! Very exciting things happening! We hope to be adding an IRC server and Forums in the near future as well.

So those of you reading my blog for updated news on the game, stay tuned, and bookmark the new website! It's official now! www.visionsgame.com

Blessings to you.
-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 4:32 PM PDT
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Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Winds of change
Yesterday I stumbled into a most surprising situation. I was in an IRC chat (something I almost never do) about an online game, and through the course of discussion it was mentioned that they needed more artists for their development team, for this game that hasn't been released yet. So I offered my talents as a 3D Modeler and artist. They looked at some samples of my work and accepted me on the team!! It is a volunteer position (as in no money, work for free, hope the game succeeds, that kind of thing) rather like my own game, so I'm familiar with the "have game idea, need help" scenario. They have announced development of the game to the public, and have a preliminary website up now, which you can see here: DAWNTIDE Needlesstosay, it's somewhat exciting to be part of a develpment team (other than my own) that is in the early stages of development. I'm getting some excellent experience working on a team, and meeting some nice people in the process.

My current task is to create 3D models of animals. Something I have some experience with, so I feel up to the challenge. I'm working on a predator today. You'll have to play that game when it comes out to see my work in action! As of this writing, they still need more animators to assist the development team as well, so if you have talent and interest in that area, please contact me or somenoe from the Dev team on the DawnTide website and they will see what you can do.

Yes this means I've added another iron to my fire. But hopefully it will be a positive experience. It is already a learning experience, and knowledge gained is nearly always a good thing.

Blessings to you all.
-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 3:43 PM PDT
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Sunday, June 26, 2005
Crying in Song
I had a restless night of nightmares last night. Crokodiles were chasing me all night, boat had a leak, motor went out and we were paddling with our arms, I fell off the dock trying to climb up... lots of narrow escapes from certain death all night long. Why are animals always trying to kill me in my dreams? I like animals...

Anyway, we were late for church (as usual, doesn't seem to matter how late the service, we're late attending it) but did get there in time for songs. After a rough night, and a rough morning, I really wasn't attending because I was excited about it, but more out of an act of faith - demonstrating to myself or God (not really sure which) that I will still choose Christ, even when it's not convenient and even when it is difficult. The worship songs felt empty and just didn't captivate me, even though I usually enjoy and am uplifted by the praise and worship. In the middle of one song I just opened my heart to God and told Him, "I can't sing these songs. They mean nothing to me. It is not from my heart, and I know it is supposed to be. I'm here, and I'm supposed to be worshiping YOU, and I just can't sing these songs" and at that moment I was overwhelmed with a wave of... hard to descibe as anything other than inspiration. I had to finish the songs. Not for me, but to help the people around me so they could lift their voices in praise. And then I had to write a poem. to describe all that I had experienced in that moment. The poem itself came out as lyrics to a song (ironic considering it was singing itself that I was struggling with) and this is how it went...

Crying in Song
by: Laurene Wells - June 26, 2005

I come before You here today
Crying inside as I silently pray
The words to the songs roll off my tongue
My voice follows the notes as they are sung

1st Chorus:
But my heart is not in it
The songs don’t reach my soul.
My voice drops to a whisper
And I sing in low tones.
The pain in my heart wells up into tears.
I can’t sing anymore
So I cry through a prayer

As I open the depths of my heart up to You
I feel You come closer and talk to me too
You invite me to worship in word and in song
And You offer Your hand for me to hold on

1st Chorus...

I cling to the promise You’ll never let go.
I come here in faith as I seek renewed hope.
And I sing out these words as You ask me to do
Hoping my voice will bring glory to You.

2nd Chrous:
And now my heart is in it
And the songs reach my soul
My voice rises to soprano
As I sing higher tones.
The pain in my heart
Melts into Your hands
And I sing lout once more
Praising God where I stand.

As I sing out Your praise I feel strength in my heart
I lift up Your name through my talents and art
And feel driven to sing out to all who will hear
So you Lord can comfort the source of our tears.

2nd chorus...
END.

Copyright (c) 2005 by Laurene Wells

I hope this is uplifting, or encouraging to you as well. God bless you and may He grant you peace.

-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 6:46 PM PDT
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Friday, June 24, 2005
Sometimes you feel like a nut... sometimes you don't
Just a quick update today. Have lots of running around to do and errands to run. And as usual, just about the time we're ready to go it's time for lunch. And since we're out of sandwich stuff, it's difficult.

Anyway, last week I invented a cookie-bar recipe that turned out really well. Wanted to share it with you. I call it:

Happy Bars

1/2 c. butter
1 c. (+/-) crushed Honey Grahm crackers
2 c. sweetened flaked coconut (like Mounds brand)
1/2 to 1 c. chopped roasted salted almonds
1 can Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk (NOT evaporated milk)
6 oz. (or more) milk chocolate, chopped or chips

using an 8-9 inch square glass baking dish, melt the butter in the microwave. Stir it around to butter the sides of the dish. Add cracker crumbs. Stir well. Press down to make a crust.

In a medium bowl mix together coconut, almonds and condensened milk. Spread over crust. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes (until lightly golden on top). Remove from oven. Immediately spread chocolate over the top. When chocolate is soft & melted, spread out evenly. Allow to cool. Cut into squares.

Makes 16 2x2 inch servings.

Bon appetit!
-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 11:55 AM PDT
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Where the rainbow's grow...
Several things I wanted to post, don't think I will get time enough to post them all. But first I will say that coming home from our trip, as we entered town, there was the most beautiful golden sunset to the west and a full arch rainbow filling the sky to the east. After admiring both for quite some time, I said to my husband, "This is why we live here. This is where the rainbows grow!"

Yesterday I worked on some art. I experimented with oil pastels a bit. It has been a while since I played with them.




And today worked on my website a little bit again. I added a page here: Status Report And I wrote some business related letters. Hoping the effort of that results in some positive feedback.

And now my husband is home and I have to return to making dinner. I am attempting to make a Potato chowder with leftover spicy sausages (and potatoes of course). I think it might be TOO spicy for the kids though. In which case I'll have to figure out something else to make for them.

Blessings to you.
-Sparkling

Written by Sparkling at 5:40 PM PDT
Updated: Tuesday, June 21, 2005 5:44 PM PDT
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