Crying in Song
I had a restless night of nightmares last night. Crokodiles were chasing me all night, boat had a leak, motor went out and we were paddling with our arms, I fell off the dock trying to climb up... lots of narrow escapes from certain death all night long. Why are animals always trying to kill me in my dreams? I like animals...
Anyway, we were late for church (as usual, doesn't seem to matter how late the service, we're late attending it) but did get there in time for songs. After a rough night, and a rough morning, I really wasn't attending because I was excited about it, but more out of an act of faith - demonstrating to myself or God (not really sure which) that I will still choose Christ, even when it's not convenient and even when it is difficult. The worship songs felt empty and just didn't captivate me, even though I usually enjoy and am uplifted by the praise and worship. In the middle of one song I just opened my heart to God and told Him, "I can't sing these songs. They mean nothing to me. It is not from my heart, and I know it is supposed to be. I'm here, and I'm supposed to be worshiping YOU, and I just can't sing these songs" and at that moment I was overwhelmed with a wave of... hard to descibe as anything other than inspiration. I had to finish the songs. Not for me, but to help the people around me so they could lift their voices in praise. And then I had to write a poem. to describe all that I had experienced in that moment. The poem itself came out as lyrics to a song (ironic considering it was singing itself that I was struggling with) and this is how it went...
Crying in Song
by: Laurene Wells - June 26, 2005
I come before You here today
Crying inside as I silently pray
The words to the songs roll off my tongue
My voice follows the notes as they are sung
1st Chorus:
But my heart is not in it
The songs don’t reach my soul.
My voice drops to a whisper
And I sing in low tones.
The pain in my heart wells up into tears.
I can’t sing anymore
So I cry through a prayer
As I open the depths of my heart up to You
I feel You come closer and talk to me too
You invite me to worship in word and in song
And You offer Your hand for me to hold on
1st Chorus...
I cling to the promise You’ll never let go.
I come here in faith as I seek renewed hope.
And I sing out these words as You ask me to do
Hoping my voice will bring glory to You.
2nd Chrous:
And now my heart is in it
And the songs reach my soul
My voice rises to soprano
As I sing higher tones.
The pain in my heart
Melts into Your hands
And I sing lout once more
Praising God where I stand.
As I sing out Your praise I feel strength in my heart
I lift up Your name through my talents and art
And feel driven to sing out to all who will hear
So you Lord can comfort the source of our tears.
2nd chorus...
END.
Copyright (c) 2005 by Laurene Wells
I hope this is uplifting, or encouraging to you as well. God bless you and may He grant you peace.
-Sparkling