This page is for my pod humor. If you don't know what pod is well it is what we AOL GH fans like to refer to as Guza's total destruction of a character to where you don't even recognize them anymore. These unrecognizable characters of GH came about during Guza's reign this last year as head writer. Pod is not good cause we don't even know who we are watching anymore cause the character doesn't act like that character should act. Examples are Brenda, Robin and Laura to name a few. This is my humor to show that I don't buy that these characters that I loved are who they are today. And now the POD ZONE....
Brenda Pod commercial # 1
You might know me. My name is Brenda Barret. And I am here today to talk about something very serious. I was a victim of podism. Yeah that's right. What is podism you may ask? Well podism is taking some pod and suddenly becoming someone you don't even recognize. That is what happened to me in Port Charles. Guza loves pod and he got me hooked on it! I became some child-like creature who giggled way too much.
To demonstrate, let's go to some video tape of pod-Brenda in action.
Okay see this is the warehouse fire caused by Jerry. Anyway, I show up upon learning that Jax is in the warehouse. There I am crouched down when I learn that Sonny is in the warehouse too. Ooooh stop the tape right there! You see that bit of concern I had on my face upon hearing Sonny was also in the fire? That was the real me trying to get our from under the cloud of pod. And then what does Guza do but cut to a commercial so he can pod me up
again. Okay you can roll the video again. Okay here we are back from a commercial and I am so loaded with pod, I don't know what is going on. All I remember at the time was I was running in what seemed like slow motion toward this tall thing and feeling my legs begin to give out so I jumped on the tall thing which turned out to be Jax. And the next thing I know I am with Jax at home and because Guza gave me an overdose of pod, I couldn't stand up
straight so Jax had to piggyback me everywhere and then I basically passed out in the bed.
I was so sick those last few months in Port Charles cause Guza was forcing me to take pod continuosly. Hence the long sleeves cause that is where Guza made me hide the pod. I was so hooked on pod that I couldn't account for my past. That is when I realized that I had to get out! So I found out about GUZA-B-GONE and tried it. And I am ecstatic to say, I am pod-free, sleeve free and even moved to a new zip code. If you or someone you know are
having the same symptoms, then you too may be hooked on Guza's pod. I urge you to get help fast and GUZA-B-GONE is definitely the answer. To order GUZA-B-GONE call: 1-800-NON-GUZA. Take it from me, it will save your life. And join me next time when my special guest will be Robin Scorpio. She is soon going to be starting GUZA-B-GONE and will stop by to share her Guza pod experience. Remember, the number to call is 1-800-NON-GUZA. Thanks
And Sonny if you are out there, call me! The operators have been instructed to patch you straight to me!
Brenda Pod Commercial # 2
It's me again Brenda Barret. And I first want to say I appreciate all your wonderful letters and comments about how I am more like my old self now that I am off pod. GUZA-B-GONE is truly a miracle! And I am here today to tell you how you too can become pod-free! But first I would like to introduce my best friend Robin Scorpio who just left Pod Central and is here today to tell how she finally decided to be pod free.
B: Robin, how are you doing?
R: Hey Brenda I am so much better now that I am out of Port Charles or
Pod Central as you so correctly referred to it.
B: That is wonderful to hear! I can say that I am so happy that my
dearest freind got off of pod too! It's just a shame that people
have to leave PC to do it! Guza loves his pod and won't stand for
R: I know. I hated to leave Jason but I couldn't take it anymore.
B: I completely understand. So tell us about your experience in PC.
R: Well Jason and I were so in love and then Guza came into power.
That is when everything started getting bad. Guza introduced both
Jason and I to pod. At first I thought that it was going to be
great but I soon became aware I was totally another person. And
B: I'm so sorry Robin but it seems Jason is on the phone right now
demanding to speak to you. Should I put him through?
R: Yeah sure go ahead.
J voice: Robin, listen to me. Stop this right now! Michael can hear
everything you are saying and I won't stand for him being
R: Well why don't you just turn off the television?
J voice: I can't do that. Michael is watching Bob Villa build a house and seems really anxious to build one himself. We just bought him a set of tools the other day. So he is ready to start any day now.
R: JASON!!! Michael is a little over a year old! He can't understand
what you are saying much less anyone else! He doesn't even know how to feed himself and...
J voice: La, la, la I am not hearing that!
Carly, can you take Michael to
his room and sing that New Guinea tribal song he loves so
much? Now please! La, la, la....Okay he is gone! Robin
please don't say something like that in front of Michael.
He is a very sensitive child and I won't stand for it!
R: Jason, my love, you are a POD addict! You need help bad!! The best
thing you could do is get out of PC and get on GUZA-B-GONE!
J voice: I can't do that cause then I would have to leave Michael.
Michael and I must never be parted. How many times have
I preached that to you Robin?!
R: Jason, when you wake up, and free yourself from pod and
this obsessive, weird fixation you have on Michael, give
me a call. But in the meantime, Go Away!
J voice: ROBIN!! If Michael heard you right now,..
R: He would do nothing Jason but be a baby! Get help soon!
B: Well, what can I say? I think that says it all! See how this drug
affects you? I am sorry about Jason Robin.
R: That's okay. Hopefully Jason will wise up soon or Guza and his
POD will be gone. I know GUZA-B-GONE was the best thing that
happened to me.
B: If you realize you aren't yourself and need
help, please call 1-800-NON-GUZA! It the best thing you could ever
do. Am I right Robin?
R: Absolutely. I feel better than I have in months!
B: Well I would like to thank Ms. Robin Scorpio for coming and sharing
her experience with us. Remember again that number is
1-800-NON-GUZA! Please free yourself from pod. And join me next
time when my guest will be a surprise! Just tune in to find out!