Jessica has been a mess, she hasn't spoken for more than a week. She stumbles around the house, mumbling under her breath small words from what I've been told. I wish I could help her realize that everyone takes a tumble down, no matter how strong. She needs to get up and fight for what she has, she can't let Janey win like this, it isn't right. True love only comes once, and you can't lose it and then live love on luck. She'll just return to the ground, and I know she knows it.
I'm not at home, I'm at the library. It's a Friday night, and there are several study groups, mostly girls who look as if they had nothing else better to do on a Friday night! Go party, I wanted to scream to them, but didn't, of course. Although, when I was finally curled up in the nice, cozy chair in the corner, you could hear giggles from the far corners, the dark ones. Gee, don't you wish you knew what was happening? I've been reading a lot lately, I need to get inspired. I am to the conclusion last night, as I lay in bed next to Taylor, protective in his arms, that I was going to put my journalism life on hold. I've been so passionate in my mind, where I would spend hours decoding a metaphor for something simple minded. Itz gotten so crazy, so twisted, so intensely inspiring, I decided to write a novel. I'm still not sure what it's going to be about, but when I go home in a little while, I will sit down infront of my computer and let the words flow from my heart and mind. That's how it happens, and I have no doubt that it won't happen this time around.
"Mandy?" A voice questioned, breaking my train of thought. I looked up, wondering. Where was that voice coming from? It was human, I hadn't been hallucinating, not yet, I hadn't been reading long enough. Only three hours. "Mandy Hanson, is that you?" Wow, no one has called me that for years, why's it starting up again? Well, it is my name now, right? Almost.
"I believe it is," I spoke, "now who are you?" I questioned, admiring myself. A child, small and fragile, stepped out into my view. The light beams glistened off her face, and I didn't recognize the girl.
"Its me, Mackenzie's friend, Carmen." Oh! I wanted to scream with laughter, from his 2nd birthday party. That was years ago, no wonder I didn't remember. "You used to baby sit me, my mom always told me how great you were. I never believed her when she said you came home." I smiled.
"I came home. It's good to see you, I haven't seen you in years." I told the red-headed girl. She giggled.
"I followed you here, I had to ask you myself." She told me, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She was soo cute, I realized then that I had remembered myself baby-sitting her years back. Those were the days.
"Oh?" I questioned, confused, hoping she couldn't read it upon my face.
"Are you really married to Tayles?" She giggled. I smiled, rolling my eyes as I book-marked my finger into my book as I closed it against my thigh.
"No. Soon Carmen." I told her.
"Wow." She smiled, and I was shocked by her un shy perplexion of amazement. "Thank you! Bye-bye Manda!" she squealed, turning on her heel and running off. I almost expected to hear the librarian scream for her not to run, as she used to when I was young., but she didn't now. She was probably snoozing, seeing it was a Friday night and she was stuck in a library. Stuck in a library, I repeated to myself, taking my book close to my chest as I uncurled myself and stood up. I had already checked the book earlier, so I just reached for my cardigan as I stepped forward in stride to leave.
- - - -
I closed the door, softly, expecting Taylor to be sleeping. I peeled off my shoes and my cardigan before I climbed the steps toward the bedroom. I noticed several flickers of glistening light beams that crept through the cracks of the door frame, before I even peaked the top of the staircase. I could smell vanilla, and I knew he had lit my candles, as he always did when he was waiting up for me. "Taylor?" I whispered, holding my book close to me as my fingers curled around the door-knob, turning slowly. I stepped into the room, and I saw Tay sitting at his desk, writing by candle light. It was his favorite thing to do when he was home alone, and I sighed as I gazed at him. The shimmering beams speckled off his crystal eyes that were turned downward, and his face was framed with gold, his lips wet with thought. Never has he looked more gorgeous. He didn't shave tonight, I saw sweat beads begin to form on his upper lip, as I stepped closer to him. He smiled, and I placed my rented novel on the desk by his writing.
I hear my spirit calling, is she longing for me? She steps into the room, through my mind, saving me from my insanity, I wish I could frame her golden face and love this feeling for always, I've waited for her to return, and she stands, pictured infront of me, her warm embrace touching my face, tears shimmer the halls, gazing, I fall, I hear my spirit calling, is she longing for me?
I read the words he wrote, and I slowly let my fingers graze his neck, does he know I love him?
When you weep you can know that it's all right, as you sleep I can follow the door light, we can talk just as long as you hold on tight, just one breath is a million sighs, I can tell every breath that your breathing, I can feel every thought that your thinking, are you longing for me, is it true, can this be?
"Taylor," I gasped, it was so beautiful, some of the lyrics were my favorite from prior works of his talented heart. "I love you." I told him, kissing his cheek. He turned his head toward her and forced his mouth upon mine. I smiled to myself, and I moved so he could stand up freely to wrap me into his arms.
"I know, I live for you Amanda." He smiled, knowing I've heard those words somewhere before. I giggled, exchanging quick kisses.
"What brought this on?" I quizzed him, my hands framing his face, his eyes gazing into mine. He smiled, his crystal eyes sparkling with laughter and lovely emotions.
"After everything we've been through, I thought no one could be as strong as you, and I watch Jessica get her heart ripped out, and I wish she could have what I have found again." He practically sang to me. His voice was husky, and it fit my heart mold perfectly.
"Mm." I said, bringing a long, passionate, hungry kiss to us.
- - - -
Janey sat, gazing through the fogged window of the midnight blue 86' Camaro, her thoughts were confused and crazy. Not one moment has she felt bad towards Jessica and Mike, he did it, not her. Why should she sweat it?
"Are you going to take me home?" She questioned, not wanting to look at him anymore. Only now, sadly, did she more then ever want to punch him in the face. He's using her, he doesn't care for the fact that she might be pregnant. It's only been several weeks, two to be exact, that they've slept together. He didn't care, because he knew he wasn't shooting blanks, and as long as they weren't in Jessica's wonderful body, he did not care. He loved Jessica, but he was only a man, he shouldn't need to feel held down. But, was it all worth Janey?
"Why?" He replied, licking his lips to get her taste of off him. They had gathered themselves and were 'neatly' placed in the front seats of his car.
"I can't stand to look at you anymore." She told him, knowing he was extremely gorgeous with his brown eyes.
"Why?" For a moment, Janey almost wanted to ask him if he were drunk. She knew he wasn't, he was safe like that.
"Just take me home, I'm not feeling well."
"You aren't pregnant are you?" he shot, not thinking. Janey shot her gaze at him, whiplash! She wished, almost, that she had never gone to that dinner, she didn't think she even needed to be where she is. She didn't deserve this. No one did.
"I'm only three weeks late, I doubt it." she told him, watching his reaction. His eyes no longer had the tender, hounding, desire in them, he wasn't feeling it neither. His face hardened, and his sight narrowed into her eyes.
"No, you are not pregnant. Not by me anyway."
"How could you say that!? We've slept with each other every day this week! I've only slept with you and,.." she trailed off. Uh-oh. Scout was the only other person she had been with, that was two days ago. No one had known about Scout's loss of virginity, he was Mr. Clean slate. He had a wild, but respective image. He had always been big on love, and he did tell Janey he loved her, but this was different.
"See!" Mike shot, starting up the car and pulling away from the cliffs. They had a fifty minute ride home, and he regretted having to drive so far away so he wouldn't be caught. God, he thought, this isn't happening. I don't love her, like hell would I let that baby be mine. Like hell. "Who are you sleeping with?"
"You don't know him."
"Like hell," he gazed at her, noticing tears were welled in the corners of her eyes, but he didn't care, "We're in the same god-damn posse you dip-shit, think about it. I'm the Senior class president, I know all the coolest people in the school. Like hell I don't know him."
"Let me out." Janey said, undoing her seat belt. She reached down, grabbing her purse and cracking open the door. Mike slammed on the breaks, and both himself and Janey went flying forward. She limped over the open door, and gathered herself together, walking out toward the end of the street. She reached the sidewalk, and Mike waved good-bye and drove off.
- - - -
Davey sat, confused and motionless. She had just gotten off the phone with him, she asked him again, are you a virgin? He told her no, was he suppose to be? I mean, what should she of suspected? A gorgeous, manly, popular, rock/pop singer, at the youngin' age of almost eighteen, like Zac. But, after you think about it, Ike's still a virgin, Taylor no, I think everyone knew that, especially Davey, and me.
"What was I thinking? Why did I think he meant yes, why couldn't I have not fallen in love with him?" She shook her head, confused and crazy. "God," she said, sighing, "It's bearly been a month and we've already had a first 'Lover's Spat'." She almost made herself laugh, even though she knew that Zac had apologized. He didn't think his 'Mm' meant yes to her, would you? Nah, she'll get over it.
sO muCH tO cHoOsE
.....hmm? story number one?
how about story number two?...
cHaPTeR TeN <-
On tO tHe NeXT->
