Another busy day here as I try to figure out why the ants are rioting.  Just went out and checked on them again and the middle east side of my back walk still looks for all the world like an aerial view of the recent Woodstock get-together.  No pillars of smoke are rising into the sky, and there doesn't seem to be any raping going on, but otherwise the resemblance is uncanny.  Any minute now I expect the state highway patrol to arrive and start whacking away at the poor little guys on the periphery just trying to have a good time listening to the Mighty Mighty Cicada Tones playing in the trees....
     I've seen riots like this before, of course, but not for three days running.  They took a break yesterday afternoon when the heat of the sun was beating down on the area, and today's brief showers may have slowed 'em down a bit, but basically it's been scurry-scurry-scurry times a thousand ever since about Monday. 
     Thinking these ants might be mad at me for some reason (like maybe for cutting the grass away from the edge of the  walk over the weekend - *blush*) I dropped a potato chip on them Tuesday night as a peace offering.  It wasn't very big as chips go (hey, I'm not made of money, after all) but I thought it was a nice gesture on my part, and so did my wife after I went back in the house and brought out a new bag of chips just for her. 
     Yesterday morning the chip I'd left for the ants was gone.  Gone.  Not a trace remained.
     The ant riot, however, continued.
     Spooky, eh?
     Last night I left another chip.  Another Ruffles brand "The Works!" chip.  "Loaded Baked Potato Flavors," you know.  From a bag dated SEP 14 and code numbered 119330. 
     This morning this second chip was gone, too.
     I had taken it from a 13.25 ounce bag.  The whole bag had cost me $2.99.  We keep this bag with the pots and pans in the left-hand kitchen cupboard.  (Just in case I end up disappearing and the FBI needs as much information as it can get.)
     Anyway, the ants keep right on rioting.  I'm not sure if I'll give them another chip tonight or not.  Maybe they'd prefer a pretzel.  Maybe what they really need now is a Coke. 
     Or would that only encourage them to demand access to my recliner and the remote?
     And what about my wife?  Do I need to give her a fresh bag of her own every time I give a chip to the ants? 
     On the one hand, there's only one of her and lots of chips per bag, so that last bag really ought to keep her happy for months to come.  On the other hand, figuring their two chips as a percentage of their body weight, the ants remain far ahead, but I'm really in no position to give my wife - what?  A ton or more of Ruffles? 
     Sometimes life is so damn confusing.
     It's times like these which makes me wish I had a wise clergyman to consult....