"You CAN get caught between the moon and New York City.  I know it sounds crazy - but it's true!" - Captain of the Staten Island ferry to the irate mob at the dock demanding to know where the hell he's been all day

     On the plus side: It could be worse.  This could be my 200th entry.  Now wouldn't that be a pisser? 
     On the other hand: I can't believe Angelfire has actually let things go this far.  They've really lost my respect.  Just as Groucho Marx didn't want to be a member of any club that would have him, I don't want to be on any server that will post 100 entries of a journal like this one.  The fact that Angelfire regularly tries to make up for this oversight by being down frequently and with no explanation is simply a case of too little, too late.  I'll be relocating shortly.  Watch this space for details or you just might be unfortunate enough to stumble upon my word spew for a second time.

     It goes without saying that I'd hoped to accomplish much more in the last 100 days than I did, so of course I can't resist saying it anyway. 
     One thing I'd hoped to accomplish: Having at least one evening of great cybersex instead of typing up yet another entry.  Oh, well....
     Among the other things I'd hoped to accomplish: Figuring out which font sizes and styles go best with which upload times; getting a call from a transplant center telling me that a fresh talent for graphics has just become available and to prep my site immediately 'cause it's obviously the one in the most critical condition; and convincing some big money guy that I'm actually Tom Hanks doing online research for my next movie, "You've Got Gall." 
     I'd at least hoped to have mentioned in an entry that U.S. citizens are spending $289 million a year to help Colombia fight its drug barons while at the same time spending $215 million on Super Soakers (90% of the market) and squirt guns (10% of the market).  I'm not sure what the connection between these two facts are, but the amounts are simply way too similar to be a coincidence.
     Hey - at least I've finally mentioned it here.  Yay!!!

     Needless to say, I'd hoped that my 100th entry would be better than this.  Alas, my writing is what is called "holographic" - from any little piece of it, the horrible nature of its entirety can be glimpsed.  Nevertheless, I keep right on going as if by some miracle the very next sentence I write will transcend all that's come before it and actually reach the kind of perfection most sentences can only dream of until their period sets in. 
     As Groucho also once said (this time in a movie and not a letter): "I have to stay here, but there's no reason you people in the audience can't go out into the lobby until this thing blows over." 

     Maybe if I hadn't spent all my energy today cutting grass.  Maybe if I wasn't rushed to finish this so that I can go enjoy a dinner I'm not hungry for after being forced by a waitress to abandon my intricate system of hand signals and confront my fear of public speaking.  Maybe if some foreign agent hadn't assumed the form of a cricket and snuck into my life just to inject my head full of maple syrup....

     *Idle finger drumming as I try to think of something worthwhile to say*

     Hey, did you see the eclipse today?  Here's a re-cap:
 
 

     If you happen to be an Asian living in a certain foreign country, don't look - you believe it's the sun and the moon having sex. 
     And don't bother sending me any of your pornographic pictures, either.  I'm just not interested.

     Technical Note:  A solar eclipse like today's is caused by the moon coming between the earth and the sun.  
     Personal Note:  The moon once tried to come between my wife and me, but we got a restraining order. 

     That's all.  If there's no entry tomorrow it's because your suspicions are correct and I've finally scraped the bottom of my barrel clean.