June Jokes
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Q: What was Noah's biggest problem on the ark?
A: Those two termites!
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A pastor gets a new set of clubs for his birthday and chooses to call in sick so he can go play golf on a Sunday. As St. Peter and Jesus are watching, St. Peter says to Jesus "Just look at that! What are you going to do about it?" "Easy." said Jesus, "Watch." And the pastor got his very first hole in one! "What did you do that for?!" asked St. Peter. "Who's he going to tell?!" replied Jesus.
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A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his automobile: "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. 'Forgive us our trespasses.'" When he came back he found a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. 'Lead us not into temptation.'"
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Sign spotted on the wall of a church nursery...1st Corinthians 15:51: "We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed."
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A little girl sitting in church with her father suddenly felt ill. "Daddy," she whispered, "I have to throw up!" Her father told her to hurry to the restroom. In less than two minutes the child was back. "I didn't have to go too far," she exclaimed. "There's a little box by the back door that says, 'For the sick'."
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"So your mother says your prayers for you each night? What does she say?"
Little Boy: "Thank God he's in bed!"
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A certain man had invited the pastor and his wife for dinner, and it was little Joey's job to set the table. But when it came time to eat, Joey's mother said with surprise, "Why didn't you give Mrs. Brown a knife and fork dear?" "I didn't think I needed to," Joey explained, "I heard Daddy say she always eats like a horse."
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The preacher was visiting a man in prison. "When you were tempted," said the minister, "why didn't you say, 'Get thee behind me, Satan!'?"
"I did," replied the man. "But Satan said, 'It doesn't matter who leads, since we're both going in the same direction'."
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