Main
- Home
- Bio
- Dan Facts
- Upcoming Shows
- Media
- Commentary
- Merchandise
- Contact

February 19, 2004

After reading an interview with Ref Gary on wrestlingclothesline.com (he spells it garry, but thats just down right stupid. I also wont accept that spelling from a man who loved the movie "signs"). I noticed a few things about Referees in the wrestling business; their mannerisms, and the rules that apply in wrestling solely to referees.

1) A ref has the final say: In any wrestling match, the referee is the end all of every match. Even if 3,000 fans are screaming, "HE HIT HIM WITH A CHAIR" If he didnt see it, it didnt happen.

2) Referees are if not completely, mostly deaf: If you were to sneak into a ring out of a referee's sight, you could literally shoot someone in the chest with a shotgun and not have to worry about it.

3) For every one second in earth time, is 6 seconds in referee time: This is why it takes 1 minute for a referee to count to 10.

4) A referee can normally determine when a match is over: No matter what happens, a referees final 3 count is always faster then all the previous counts in a match, some people call it luck, I call it E.S.P.

5) A referee will always circle in the opposite direction of wrestlers: I dont know why, but its true.

6) Despite being deaf, referees are highly distractable: If you come down to the ring with a manager, it would probably be a good idea to have him stand on the apron and scream, "LOOK AT ME" because although the referee is deaf, he will most certainly look at the manager, and you can use the shotgun technique I mentioned in number 2.
And finally

7) Referees have an insanely low tolerance for pain: The slightest graze or bumping into, will most certainly knock a referee out cold. Unless of course you push a referee into the ropes, in which case the momentum will knock him back into you, and knock you on your ass.
Well I hope that was enlightening to some of you.

This sort of reminds me of something I received from J silva many moons ago

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN OLDTIMER
by Dusty Wolfe

--when you pray you're on first
--you are happy being the first out of a battle royal
--you don't let the fans call the match-you do
--you smile when the fans chant boring-you know they're watching
--you haven't locked up, and the time keeper announces 10 minutes gone
--you get handed your payoff and don't even count it. YOU KNOW HE KNOWS.
--when the kid you're working with tells you his 20 high spots, and then
asks what you want to do. your reply-not get hurt.
--you've forgotten more holds than your opponent knows
--you say, let's call it in the ring
--you have boots and trunks older than half the locker room

Well that about raps it up. Support your local indies. A-rod is now the best player in baseball. Happy pat?

Well it was my 21st birthday on Feb 19. And lemme say thank god for two-fers. Also never play darts when youre drunk, blindfolded, and secretly aiming for the bartender. thats my motto. Im the champ, see you all on the 21st at CSWF and the 28th at NYWC!

Previous Commentaries:
July 9, 2003
August 2, 2003
September 5, 2003
Ocotber 5, 2003
November 10, 2003
December 29, 2003
January 12, 2004