So I'm born.

And it was a nasty birth. I was born in the middle of a blizzard in February of 1972. Mom and Dad should have known then what kind of a pain in the ass I was going to be. But more on that later.

So I'm young.

And I'm a terror. The kind of kid that's too intelligent for his own good. The kind of kid that teaches himself to read when he's two years old, and can do math in his head when he's three and no one bothered to sit him down and teach him to count to ten (hey, I was bored). The kind of kid that throws stuff down the toilet to see it overflow, sticks peanuts up his nose, holds his breath until he passes out in the middle of 3rd grade (poor Ms. Biagotti), and other immature adventures that you usually only hear about in "Reader's Digest." Somehow, I survived.

So I'm an adolescent.

I go to a new school, I get lots of friends (like Kevin and Josh) and this new and totally interesting experience called acne. (This is something that I actually still have a problem with, but then agan, so does Brad Pitt, and if he can deal with it, then so can I). My formative years at school were spent dodging spitballs and watching, yes, Dr. Who (ok, so I was a nerd. I'll admit it).


So I'm a teenager.

And I end up getting torn out of my old school and going to this place called Austin Preparatory School. Austin wasn't a bad place - it gave me a hell of an education and helped to shape me into the person that I am today. Unfortunately, it's taken the benefit of 20/20 hindsight for me to realize that. But I did make some excellent friends while I was in high school (shout out to my peeps, Damon, Rob, Gerry, and Mr. Stone!), and - again, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight - I do appreciate what Austin gave me. This is also when I discovered that there was more to life than Dr. Who and Dungeons and Dragons. It was called 'woman'. Oooh! What a smokin' blonde she was. But that's a story for another day...

So I go to college.

And boy, do I have a good time there. North Adams State College, to be exact. 2.9 GPA my first semester, only because I failed Bowling (yes, Bowling - I couldn't find the bowling alley and when I did, it was too late in the semester. Dad got a laugh out of that). Second semester, however, was a little different, with me getting a 0.3 GPA and being politely asked to leave the school (i.e. "Get the hell out, boy!"). So back home I go with my tail between my legs.

And I get a job at a gas station.

The first of many such jobs that I maintained that I was none-too-pleased about. Petroleum Transfer Engineer (Gas Station Attendant), Sign-Maker, Tour Guide, Supervisor for Tower Records... I've held quite the eclectic bit of jobs in my time, though I'm sure that some of you out there have held a more diverse selection. But they were all, in their own way, good jobs, with their own unique experiences that go along with them (some of the signs that I made are still up in Harvard Square, for example. And I met some very interesting people when I was a tour guide at the Boston Tea Party Ship and Museum).

I've since graduated from my MSCE program at Pinnacle Training. I now work at a company called Lexicon, doing LAN administration and desktop support. I love every second of it. And I have a great girlfriend, Julia, whom I would be lost without. My family is good, my friends are good, I am good - I couldn't be happier.

Well, I could, if I hit the lottery and had two blind nymphomaniacal bisexual blondes whose father owned a liquor distribution plant to fall in love with me. But hey, everyone's got dreams, right?

And that, my friends, is my life in a nutshell.