Allright, I know I have not written anything in about a year, so I figured it was about time. All I want to know is, why do girls have to be so fucking prissy. Girly girls get on my fucking nerves. I think you know what girls I'm talking about. You know... "Ohh, don't mess up my hair"...."Oh, we're going to the gas station, hold on, lemme put on my make up and change clothes first"...."Why do we have to listen to that hard rock shit, let's listen to Tori Amos instead!"

Give me a fucking break. This is why I cannot stand to be around most girls for too long. I end up telling them to stop bitching. If you're so fucking girly, become a lesbian. You'd have more in common with another girl. I notice when girls are in a relationship with a guy, all they do is bitch about everything the guy is doing wrong. I'm sorry sweetie, but he is never going to be a girl, so stop trying to turn him into one. If he doesn't like Tori Amos and Jewel, then that is his perrogative. If he does, then he is probably gay anyhow, and wouldn't be dating you. Have you ever noticed that guys don't bitch nearly as much as girls and there's a reason for that. Guys don't give a fuck. So stop giving a fuck about stupid little details that aren't going to matter tomorrow, such as, what the gas station attendant thinks you look like without make up. WHO GIVES A FUCK?? Try out some aggresssive music for once. It is a great way to take out your frustration, trust me. Go outside not matching for once, it's liberating. Flash a complete stranger your breasts. Don't take a shower for one day. Basically, QUIT BEING SUCH A FUCKING GIRL!!!!!!!!!

Nicole

9-17-99

Ok, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. I am subscribed to a mailing list Mass M.I.C. which is an orginization that is trying to preserve freedom of expression in music. They e-mail me and tell me about different events and bills of congress and shit that is infringing on our freedom of speech. Well, here's a doozie: The senate is trying to make a bill to create a "Cultural Committee" What this "Cultural Committe" basically does is try to figure out what's wrong with society today, and fix it. In other words, find out what music and movies say things that aren't universally "moral" and change it. If you want, you can read the bill here. And then, please write/e-mail your senator (several times) and ask them to vote against Senate Resolution 172. That is what it is called. Here is the e-mail that I sent to Phil Gramm and Kay Bailey Hutchison (Tx senators):

"Dear Senator,
I recently read an article on the Senate Resolution 172 that wants to make a "Culture Committee" I read over SR 172 and to me it seems like it is infringing on our freedom of speech, and our freedom of expression (through movies and music). I don't believe there should be a law acting out what the parents of the children are supposed to be doing. I have grown up listening to that so-called "immoral music" but I am still a good person. I have no desire to hurt anybody or myself. I have a "normal" job (computer tech support), I make my car payment, and I pay my taxes like anybody else. Enacting a "Culture Committee" really won't solve anything, in my opinion. We live in America so we can have freedom. So we can listen to what music we want. So we can watch whatever movies we want. Don't blame all of society because the movie theaters and the record stores don't ID kids when they are trying to watch/listen to something that is deemed "restricted". That is not our fault. I am 21 years old, and I sould be able to listen to what I want when I want. Basically, what I'm trying to say is PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, vote against Senate Resolution 172. Please prove to me that the United States of America is still a free country.
Thank you for your time,
Nicole Piazza"

You can get your senator's email address by going to http://www.senate.gov and put in your state. PLEASE, if you love listening to fucked up music, or if you just like saying the word "fuck", please do this for me, or yourself. And join the Mass M.I.C. mailing list. You'll recieve e-mails about stuff that will piss you off about our "free" country. Thanx. ~~pissed on, Nicole

4-5-99

Oh, shit, this one's bad. This is proof of how much the system fucks you. Ok, it all started about 2 weeks ago. A man calls me who says that my finance company (who financed my car, and who I make payments to) he tells me that my payments are six months behind (which they're not, they aren't even one month behind). I tell him I can get a bank statement to prove that all the checks have gone through. Then he calls back a few days later and says "Well, I talked to the finance company. They say that all your payments are caught up. I just need to have an agent look at your car to make sure it's all in tact. Well, I didn't really think much of this, so I said sure. I asked if they could come out to my house (they knew my address anyways). So he said sure. Well, an hour later a guy is knocking on my front door (I was sleeping). He says "come get what ever you need out of your car." I was like "What the hell are you talking about?" I look over and my car's on the back of a tow truck!!! Well, what could I do? I got my stuff out of my car that I needed. So I get a hold of my finance company to find out what's going on. They tell me that the agent said I wanted them to come pick up my car!!! One question: WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I TELL ANYONE TO COME PICK UP MY CAR? WHY? I told this to the lady and she says she has to believe what the agent tells her. Well, 20 minutes later she calls back and tells me to go pick up my car, no charges for anything. So, evidently, they realized they screwed up big time and don't want me to sue their asses! I'm fucking pissed. I have gone since last Tuesday without a car for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON!!!! Lying, cheating, and all those technical words for how bad I was screwed. This system is fucked, that's all I can say.

3-6-99

Okey dokey smokey. Well, I am in a good mood, but I haven't written in a while,so I figured I jot some stuff down. I have something to bitch about, but it has a happy ending. Ok, from the beginning...I live in with my roomate, let's call him Bob. He is dating this other girl, let's call her Betty. I am seeing this guy, we'll call him Jason. There is a DJ at the club we go to, say his name is Dick. Ok, well Dick is going after Bob's ex-girlfriend, we'll call her Angie. Well Dick is not too fond of Bob (my roomate)and he started telling Angie that me and Bob were sleeping together while they were dating (which we never did). And not only did he tell her this, but he also told her that me, Betty, and Bob were fucking. Then, to make matters even worse, Dick told Angie that Betty and Jason (the guy that I'm seeing) are having sex. So basically we're all having big orgy's at my apartment. You know, I wish I were having as much fun as Dick makes it seem like. I mean, really, come on. Jason, Betty and myself used to be friends with Dick until he started all this bullshit. Now he's lost all three of us as friends, all in conquest of Angie, whom he's never going to get anyways. Well, Bob decided to tell a few of Dick's other friends about what Dick has done to us. So basically, we've all turned against Dick. Because he's an ass. Just to get a girl? Come on, is it really worth it? Somehow I doubt that. Well, especially considering it's never gonna happen!!! ROFL!!! So basically, I didn't lose any real friends in this whole charade. I only got rid of the bad seed, Dick. Supposedly Angie is not to fond of me right now either because she believes all this crap! Oh well, if she wants to believe him over all 10 of us, then they deserve to be friends! My god, people can be so stupid!!

11-13-98

Well, haven't had an entry in a while and I figured Friday the 13th would be a good day to do it. Today, I'm not exactly sure what I'm bitching about except for peoples complete lack of consideration for others. Ok, if anyone here has ever been depressed then you will understand what I am about to say. I hate the word because it makes me feel like I'm trying to be gothic, but for lack of better words I am depressed. Mainly because life sux. This entry is going to be confusing so bear with me. Lately, I have been doing everything in my power to cheer me up. I just wanna be happy. The problem is, every time I try to make myself happy, I hurt other people in the process. Right now I am alone. No one to hold me, no one to cry to, no one to say they love me when I need to hear it. This is really beginning to get to me. I really feel that no one wants me. Sure, they want my body, but that just isn't enough. Every time I find a guy I like, he's all willing to have sex with me, but that's it. I honesly don't think any guy can really handle me. I am a very blunt girl. I say exactly what I mean and most guys just can't handle this. I'm not even sure I know how to go about finding someone to love me. Problem is, I love sex. Sex on the first date would not be one of those ways. I am very confused and I need help. If anyone has any clue what I can do, please don't hesitate to tell me. I'm hurting here. You can only be alone for so long before it really starts to get to you. I mean, all my friends have someone special that they are with. There is a part of me that despises them for this. I know I shouldn't, but I do. You can't help what you feel, you can only hide it. I've been hiding too long now, I'm simply overflowing now. Not good. Ahhhh, fuck! Just so you guys know, though, I am not/never have/never will think about suicide, so don't worry about that. Death is never an answer. Though life sucks big time, you can still have fun. It is the moments of fun that people live for anyways, right? Yup. Ok, well, that was it for now. It wasn't really bitching, but more like self-pity, sorry about that.

9-16-98

Okay, I really have something to bitch about now. That would be the definition of a slut. This word seems to be used quite frequently, yet means something different to every person. But the word slut usually refers to females, and I cannot figure out why! There are more male sluts than there are female. When a guy is a male "slut" he is considered more of a "pimp" though, why? Why can't female "sluts" be "pimps"? One definition of slut that I have heard is: slut-a woman (<--see that, woman) who has sex with more than 10 guys in one year. Ok, now tell me, how many guys have sex with more than 10 girls in one year? If they don't, then they probably wish they could. My complaint here is not because I am a slut, but because I am called a slut. I have had sex with 9 guys in my entire life; which, granted, is more than some people, but still, it is not a huge number, not enough to qualify me as a slut. Just because someone dresses like a "slut" does not mean they are one. I admit that I do dress "slutty" on occasion, but come on, that doesn't make me a slut. Usually, the sluts are the ones who look innocent and wear long dresses or pants (probably for fear that someone will find out that they really are big sluts, hehehe). I just think this word slut should be erased from the English language because it is degrading (towards women) and, most of the time, is not even directed towards the right person. My friends and I came up with other words to describe a slut: popular, pimp, and worldly. I don't know, I think those sound much better. My favorite is popular. Ahh, well, all I have to say is if anyone ever calls me a slut again (which I'm not) they can just kiss my ass. I know what I am and they don't even know what they're talking about. You can e-mail me some of your definitions of a slut if you'd like. I think it'd be interesting...

9-13-98

Anyone who has body piercings will understand this. The never ending annoying question: Did that hurt? My god, how many times can people ask this question in one day? What kind of stupid, fucked up question is this? O, I don't know, let me take a hollow, stainless steel needle and shove it through your nipple....Now, did that hurt? What pisses me off even more is when people say, "That had to hurt." O, now they think they know how it felt. What the fuck? I would rather be asked why I got all my percings than if they hurt. I mean, come on people, be original here. The only time the question "did that hurt?" is allright is when it's from another person who has piercings (other than the ears) who is thinking about getting the piercing they're asking about. So if anyone is reading this who has no piercings, please, please, please don't ask someone this question. It is the most annoying question we could ever be asked. If you do have piercings, then I understand fully your pain of answering this question. I'm thinking about making a business card telling which piercings hurt, on a scale from one to five. Hey, good idea!!

PIERCING PAIN SCALE

1

Didn't really hurt

2

Ehhh, gettin there

3

Ohh, that stings

4

Ahh, that sucked

5

Ok, never doing that again

HOW MY PIERCINGS FELT

Nose	1
Tongue	4
Nipples	3
Belly Button	5

(The only reason my belly
button hurt so bad is cuz it
was done wrong and she
stopped halfway through
and said "Breathe"
--fukin bitch!)

8-27-98

Why does everyone think that gothic people are depresed? I just don't get it. Cuz we wear black? Cuz we look "dead"? That is a look, that doesn't mean we're depressed. I was at The Church (a gothic club in Dallas) the other day. A girl walks up to me and says "Don't be so sad" and walks off. I was very confused. I was actually in a good mood. Must I be smiling 24-7 in order to be considered happy? Or was it because I was not socializing? I just don't know. People tell me to cheer up quite often. When, actually, I am happy most of the time. I suppose it is my black hair, pale skin, and dark eye make up. Now, I'm not going to change my style so people will stop telling me this, but I wish they would learn that I'm really not upset or depressed all the time, DAMNIT!! I may be a little crazy though, hehehe....

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