Ever since she and Todd went back to the site of the rape, Tea felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She went back to the docks, stood in the exact spot where it happened, and did not fall apart. She stood tall and strong, in her own way saying "FUCK YOU JOHN SYKES."

There were still days when she had to force herself to roll out of bed and face another day. Those times were becoming fewer and farther between. The main thing was, she did it. She made it through each day, sometimes without crying or without thinking about it. Some days, she even thought she could have a normal life with a normal man in a normal relationship. That was all about to change.

She had been avoiding the subject for weeks, but the time had come to take her therapy to another level. Carol called it "inclusion." She said that sometimes it was best to get the family involved in a few therapy sessions, because they were often just as affected by trauma as the person who suffered it. She tried to tell Carol that it was best for her if she continued to go at it alone. Putting on her lawyer hat, she twisted Carol's words to her around and said, "Everyone has their own way of dealing with It. There is no right or wrong way." From Carol's expression, she knew that all her cleverness would be wasted, and, in the end, she would be forced to bring Todd to at least one session. So she scheduled an appointment for the "inclusionary" session.

She woke up early, snuck downstairs and into the kitchen where she thought she could have some privacy to rehearse her speech. No matter how delicately she put it, Todd was going to hit the ceiling and absolutely refuse to go with her. She didn't blame him either, but at least she had to try.

It wasn't until much later in the morning, about three hours before their session, that she told him she had to talk to him. She could tell by the look on his face that he thought it was something bad. He expected her to say it was over between them, that they could never get back to where they once were.

She took him out to Viki's rose garden. It had become one of her favorite places on the estate. The colors, the smell, it was all so relaxing. She liked taking a book out with her, and beneath the shade tree, she would read for hours. Todd hated it, but was willing to sit through it for her.

They sat on the bench and for the longest time, she stared at a red rose that hung from a vine in front of them. She listened to the bird songs, gained strength for the sounds of nature surrounding her. When she felt herself relax, she began to speak.

"Carol mentioned something to me awhile ago and I've been putting off talking about it," she began. She watched his face, at how it fell as she said the words, "putting off." "Oh, no, don't be scared. It's not really…bad."

"Yeah, right, if you've been putting it off, I know it's something bad."

"No, not really. It's part of my therapy. She wants me to try something called 'inclusion'-"

"What's that?"

"It's where family member get involved in the therapy sessions." She could tell he was fighting against having one of his outbursts. He got up from the bench and walked away, toward another part of the garden. She walked after him, continuing to talk. "Listen, I know you don't want to-"

"You're damn right I don't want to!" He screamed, whipping around and looking her in the eyes. "There is no way I'm lettin' some shrink in my head. Not even for you Delgado."

"I know you don't want to. Believe me, I tried to fight her, but she really thinks it's going to help me in the long run." She touched his arm and felt him relax at their contact.

"No, I don't want to," he says, much more softly. "I don't get why she wants me to come. It's your problem…that's what you keep telling me. It's up to you to deal with it."

"Come sit next to me, please? We need to talk about this."

He glared at her, and then followed her back over to the bench. "I don't see what we have to talk about. I'm not going, end of discussion."

"We can't continue pretending that what happened to me is not affecting both of us. It clearly is. You sleep outside of my bedroom for goodness sake. That's not normal. I want some normalcy in my life, Todd, and this might be a way of reaching that point."

"We don't need them Delgado. You're doing okay, now-"

"I want us to be doing okay, now. Please come with me today…for me Todd. Please."

*****

Carol's Office

Todd had almost forgotten what the inside of Carol's office looked like. Its sparse decorations made him shift with discomfort. He didn't know how he let Tea talk him into it, but there they were, trapped inside the four walls of a shrink's office. He felt like a schoolboy again, forced to sit in the Principal's office and listen to yet another lecture about behavior.

In the few times he had spoken with Carol, she seemed nice enough, and since she was able to help Tea, she couldn't be all that bad. Still, he was uncomfortable.

"Thank you for joining us today, Todd." Carol's voice was that of a mother, kind, understanding, wise. It almost put him at ease…almost. "I'm sure you must be feeling uneasy, but relax and let's see where we get today, okay?"

"Whatever," he grumbled, catching Tea's glare from the corner of his eye.

"Let me explain a little bit of what's going to happen today. As you know, this is about Tea and helping her work through her feelings about the rape. I wanted you to be involved so that you can understand her a little bit more, as well as understand your role as her significant other. This is not a reactive thing. We must always be proactive, and constantly work at getting past the problems that will result today, tomorrow, and throughout her life. As I have explained to Tea on many occasions, this is a process that will never stop. You have to understand that."

"Yeah."

"Tea has told me a little bit about your relationship, but she hasn't told me much."

He glanced over at Tea, asking her with his eyes if she told about his father. She shook her head "no."

"I understand that the two of you have had a rocky road to travel, but you've managed to keep it together. I must commend you. In this day and age, relationships come and go…but you all are still together."

"Yeah, Tea's like a bad penny, she keeps coming back," he joked.

"So, tell me a little about yourself."

"What's there to tell? We're not here to talk about me anyway, we're here to talk about Tea." He did not want to talk to her. Did not want to talk about raping Marty, stalking Nora, raping Carol Swift, being raped by his father. He especially did not want to talk about hitting Tea.

"We are, but we also need to talk a little bit about you. What do you like to do?"

Hurt people. "I don't know. I like running a newspaper. I like being around my daughter. I like being around Tea. Okay, that's about it."

"That's not a bad list. Tell me a little bit more about yourself."

"Let's cut the crap. Everybody in this room knows about Marty Saybrooke and what I'm capable of. That's really where you wanted this conversation to go, isn't it?" He stood up from his chair and began pacing the floor.

"Todd," Tea said, speaking up for the first time, "sit down."

"No, Tea. She wanted me to come in here to make sure I'm not going to hurt you again," he yelled. "You don't have to worry about that."

"Again?" Carol asked, taking her glasses off and chewing on the arm.

"Tea, you didn't tell her?"

"No, I didn't."

"Tell me what?"

Todd sat back down, breathing hard and mad at himself for telling. "You didn't tell her?" He asked again. Tea shook her head and began to speak.

"It was one time, just once and it was a long time ago. I'm sure you heard about the hostage situation at the Buchanan lodge, so I'll just skip to the part that came after. Todd and I hadn't slept for a couple of days; we were both out of our head. Anyway, he took me-"

"Took or kidnapped?"

Todd sank lower into his chair, remembering that day. It was worse than anything else he had ever experienced. He had sworn to himself, to Tea, to her brother that he would never hurt her, and in that moment of lost control, he broke his promise.

"Kidnapped. He kidnapped me and took me to his sister's garden shed. I was so angry with him you have to understand this. WE HAD NOT SLEPT IN DAYS! WE HAD NOT EATEN IN DAYS! And in a moment, I taunted him about rape and he lashed out."

"What do you mean he 'lashed out'?"

"I hit her. I closed my fist and I hit her as hard as I could. I hit her so hard it knocked her out. And before she woke up, I tied her to a lawn chair and I watched her squirm and try to get lose. There, are you happy now?"

Tea was mute. She tried not to think about that day, it marked a turning point in their relationship. Up until then, she never believed her would take his anger out on her. He would take his anger out on others, but not her, never her. She had never been afraid, and from that moment on, she was afraid of him and her feelings for him. Talking about the incident brought everything back to her. She tried not to cry, it really was in the past and they had moved so far beyond that day. She looked over at Todd who closed his eyes tight, like if he opened them, she would not be there. She reached out her hand, took his in her own and gave it a squeeze.

She cleared her throat before speaking again. "Carol, it was a crazy few days. Todd was being accused of a crime he did not commit; we were all on edge."

"Don't make excuses for me. I could have stopped myself, but I didn't."

"Okay, let's all take a deep breath right now. What exactly was it that you said that caused him to lose control like that, Tea?"

She looked down at her feet, which tapped rhythmically against the tile. Then, she looked over at Todd who waited for the other shoe to drop. "Well, I asked him if he was going to throw me down on the ground and rape me. I knew what I was doing, I was pressing his buttons."

"Did the two of you ever talk about that day? How have you worked to move past it?"

"We just did. We didn't talk about it or anything, we just moved past it. There were some things that occurred after that day that brought us even closer together."

"Are you ever afraid that he will lose control again?"

It was Todd's turn to look over at Tea who looked him dead in his eyes. "Absolutely not. Todd and I are both different people than we were back then. Or relationship is completely different from then."

"Different how?"

"Different in the sense that we talk more now. We know how we feel about one another; there aren't the same doubts or insecurity. Things are so much better now."

"Todd, we haven't heard much from you. How do you feel about all this?"

"Doesn't matter. We're here to discuss how I can help Tea, at least that's what I thought."

"We are, but since you and Tea are together, you are a part of her, therefore, you need to talk about things as well. How are you going to work to control your anger?"

"I just will. If I get upset, I'll walk away. Look, I'm not going to get out of control like that again. I can promise Tea that I will never go off like that again."

"Okay, listen, I'm going to leave the two of you alone to discuss the punch. I sometimes do that with patients who I feel are holding things back. I think my presence is more of a hindrance right now than a help. I'll leave you all for a little bit and I want you to discuss what happened and how you both felt at the time. I'm trusting you to follow through with this."

*****

Carol closed the door behind her, after promising to return in a half hour. Tea was relieved, there were things she wanted to say, but could not say in front of her. It was private; she and Todd had always been very private about their relationship. As they sat in silence, she wondered what was going through his mind. Guilt was pretty obvious, she could tell from the moment she regained consciousness that he felt remorseful for what he had done. He never said he was sorry though, and that bothered her.

"I know you're uncomfortable. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell her that," Tea said, her voice filled with emotion. In the background, she heard the seconds ticking away on Carol's desk clock. It was going to be a long half hour for both of them.

"I told you this was a bad idea. So what are we going to do for a half hour?"

"We're going to do what she said, we're going to talk about that day. It's always bothered me that we haven't talked about it."

"Fine," he grumbled, "fine."

"Why'd you do it? I know I pushed your buttons, but you've always walked away. Why didn't you walk away that time?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"There has to be a reason."

"I don't know. I mean, I was tired, angry…I lost control."

"But you always worked hard to maintain control."

"When you said that, about raping you, something in me just snapped. I started thinking about us and how I'd been nothing but a disappointment to you. I was thinking about those girls I did rape and it was like you were throwing it back in my face." He face contorted, like he was trying not to cry and his voice quivered. He was holding back, she knew it so she pushed him a bit more.

"What else, Todd?"

"I don't know. I guess you reminded me of my father. He used to get so mad at me, screaming and yelling and hitting me, and the only way I could make him stop was to taunt him the way you taunted me. I think, for that one second, I saw myself…I didn't see you. It was like I was hitting myself."

Tea began to cry for him. She had no idea, didn't even think that was what could have been going through his mind. She thought, at the time, maybe he didn't love her at all and maybe it was his way of pushing her away for good. Domestic violence was something she never would have tolerated in the past, and he knew that.

"I'm sorry Tea," he said, wiping his own tears away with the back of his hand. "I know I scared you, I scared myself too. I never wanted to hurt you, never in a million years."

"I know Todd. I was so angry with you; I wanted to hurt as bad as you hurt me. That's why I hit you in the head with the shovel. I was scared. I thought you would kill me if you had the opportunity."

"You were that scared? You think I would have killed you?"

"Yes, at the time, I really thought you were capable of murder. I shouldn't have hit you though. I'm sorry."

"Tea, I didn't plan for any of that to happen, kidnapping you, holding everyone hostage…I didn't see any other way out. The Buchanan's were going to make sure I fried for something I didn't do. I thought you were on their side. I thought I had lost you, so I really didn't care what happened, or how I had to get the killer to confess."

She moved her chair closer to him, taking his hands in hers. She held them, feeling them tremble above her trembling hands. He began to stroke her hands, looking as if he was going to start crying again at any moment.

"I know you didn't mean any of it. I didn't know it at the time, but I know it now. I know you won't hurt me again, Todd. I know I am safe with you, maybe that is the only place I'm safe, with you." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. It was the closest they had been since the rape. They both closed their eyes at their contact, savoring the moment. Time seemed to stand still. For those few moments, all their troubles had disappeared and it was just the two of them.

"Okay. Time's up," Carol said, busting through the door, startling them both. Tea quickly sat back down in her chair. Carol looked from one to the other, smiling to herself that her plan had worked. By leaving them alone, she knew they would say things neither would have said with her present. There was a brick wall between them that both clearly wanted to break down, but could not because of the things they had not dealt with as a couple.

She wasn't a relationship expert, but given Todd's history, she thought she could help them get closer. Tea needed that. She could see it in their sessions, how, when she talked about him, her eyes smiled, but there was also a cesspool of sadness. He was such an integral part of her life, really, a part of her. And in not dealing with their issues, she was not dealing with a part of herself.

In the few times she had spoken to Todd, she sensed the same things inside him. Tea was not only a part of him; she was his best part. She had a way of taming him, of tolerating his anger and helping it dissipate. But the punch had taken her by surprise. It did not surprise her, however, that Tea neglected to tell her during their sessions. She always tried to defend his action, or keep them hidden from everyone else.

She was convinced that he would not hurt Tea again, not physically anyway. When she walked in the room and saw her lips pressed against her forehead, she knew they made a major breakthrough.

"Okay, well, how'd things go?"

"They went okay," Tea answered.

"Good. You don't need to tell me the details-"

"We hadn't planned on it," Todd rudely stated.

"I didn't think so. Todd, will you be available to come in with Tea next week? I really would like to have at least one more joint session."

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever."

*****

Llanfair

The night was a little cool, perfect for spring. The stars were shining brightly, the moon was full and all was quiet. In Viki's rose garden, Tea sat alone, admiring the night. She had fixed a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows, one of her favorite late night drinks and tried to relax under the stars.

Todd had left earlier to pick up dinner. She had the strangest craving for some of Carlotta's special burritos and her secret recipe. While he was gone, she used the alone time to think about their session earlier in the day.

It was still hard to believe how far they had come. It was a difficult session, difficult but productive. She never realized how much the punch had affected her. It was as if some bond or unspoken promise was broken that day. And she never fully trusted him after that; things were forever changed. She didn't know it until they talked about it, but she was a little afraid of him.

"Hey, Delgado, I figured you'd be out here."

"It's such a beautiful night."

He stepped into the light, carrying their food and a large blanket. "Here, make yourself useful," he said, passing the food to her while he spread the blanket out on the ground. "I figured you'd wanna eat out here tonight."

"You figured right." She lay the food out on the blanket and fixed a plate for each of them. She grabbed his hand before he could start eating and brought it to her lips. "I love you, Todd," she said as she kissed the back of his trembling hand.

To Be Continued...