"Can Kevin help me tonight?"

"Sure I can buddy. Let's give Sam the night off," Kevin agreed. He placed his arm around Timmy's slight shoulders.

"Can I keep my spelling crown on?"

"Until you lie down. It will get crushed while you're sleeping, sweetheart," Viki explained.

Kevin helped Timmy in the bathroom. He then tucked him into bed.

"You'll be here while I'm sleeping? Promise?" Timmy pleaded. Kevin looked at his mother and Sam.

"Kevin can't stay here all night pal. Mommy and I will be here with you and you can see Kevin and Doctor Hanen tomorrow."

"Noooo!" Timmy was starting to whine again. "Kevin, don't go way."

"Baby. There's no place for Kevin to sleep. I promise you he will come back and see you tomorrow," Viki tried.

"Kevin can sleep next to me." Timmy moved all the way over to the side of the bed. "I'll squish myself real small so there'll be room," Timmy reasoned.

Kevin didn't know what to do. He would stay with Timmy, but he didn't know if that's what Susannah wanted. Sensing his dilemma, Susannah sat on the bed and said, "Timmy. You already have mommy and daddy staying here with you. Kevin needs to go home. He promised you he would come back tomorrow. I know it's hard to trust, but Kevin is telling the truth. You'll see sweetie. Kevin will be back in the morning."

"I don't wanna go to sleep. If I stay up Kevin won't go home." Timmy was adamant.

Sam tried. "Okay. Here's the deal pal. Kevin will stay until you fall asleep and then come back in the morning."

"No he won't! He'll go far away again. He won't come back and Tee won't come back." Timmy started to get out of bed. Kevin stopped him. "Kevin. I wanna stay up with you so you don't go way." Timmy held onto Kevin and started to cry again.

"Timmy. I know it seemed like I was far away, but I wasn't. I was at mommy's house and I thought about you every day. I had some problems and I couldn't come here to the hospital. I realize now that I handled those problems all wrong and I made a mistake. I promise you that will never happen again. I will be here tomorrow. I'll tell you what . . . why don't we plan right now what we'll have for breakfast and what we'll do after breakfast. I'll write it down so it's official."

"What's offisal?" Timmy asked as he wiped his eyes.

"That means you can never go back on it. We can write what we'll do tomorrow and I can officially promise that I will never leave you and always come when you need me. Hey, I know. Sam's a lawyer. He can give it a special seal. Then it's a promise that can't be broken, no matter what."

"Never! No matter what?" Timmy's eyes were wide. He even had a small smile on his face. Timmy turned to Sam. "Daddy, will you help us make an offisal promise?"

"You bet I will pal. Mommy and Doctor Hanen can be the witnesses."

"What's wipmasis?"

"That means they watch us make the official promise so it's extra protection that it can't be broken," Sam explained. Sam went to his briefcase and took out a yellow pad. "See Timmy. This is a legal pad. That makes it extra official."

Sam and Kevin made a big project out of writing out the promise. "Okay, pal. What would you like for your official breakfast tomorrow?" Sam inquired.

"Chicken fingers!" Timmy called out with glee.

They knew that Timmy was more interested in having Kevin tell him jokes than in the food.

"I know," Kevin suggested. "How about french toast sticks? I know some jokes about chickens who ate french toast sticks and I love french toast sticks."

"I love french toast sticks too," Timmy copied. He looked adoringly at Kevin. They all knew that Timmy would want to like anything that Kevin said he liked.

"All right then! We agree. I will put down french toast sticks as the official breakfast," Sam declared. He started to write.

They decided on coloring pictures in the Pooh coloring book, playing Candyland and playing with the cars in the playroom as their official after breakfast games. When everything was all written out, Kevin brought it to Timmy for him to sign. "Okay, buddy. You write your name right here." Kevin pointed to a blank line.

Susannah moved close to Timmy. She watched him carefully since he was holding a pen, something not usually allowed. Timmy had a little trouble using his left hand, so Kevin helped him. Timmy made a "T" then started to look sad and confused.

"What's the matter, baby?" Viki asked.

"I forgot how to write the rest of my name," Timmy admitted sadly.

Viki, Sam and Kevin didn't think much of it. Susannah did. This, in addition to his having difficulty spelling the simple words he had previously known how to spell, concerned Susannah. Timmy had always known how to write his name. Susannah wondered if something was starting to affect his cognitive skills.

Once they finished helping Timmy write his name out, Kevin signed the document. Viki and Susannah signed as witnesses. When that was done Sam took a notary seal out of his briefcase and put an official seal on it. "There we go pal . . . all signed sealed and delivered," Sam proclaimed. He handed the paper to Timmy.

Timmy reached for it uncertainly. "I can keep it?"

"You sure can. When you look at it you'll know that our promise to be together tomorrow can never be broken," Kevin explained.

Timmy clutched the paper against his chest. "Daddy, do you think Tee will do an offisal promise with me?"

"I think she will. We'll ask her tomorrow. Okay, pal?" Sam promised.

"I'll promise to be a real good boy if Tee promises not to go away forever," Timmy bargained

"Well, look at this. Timmy is learning the art of the deal. We'd better watch out. Soon he's going to own us lock stock and barrel," Kevin declared as he tickled Timmy's tummy. Timmy burst into giggles.

Sam noticed the love in Viki's eyes as she looked at her two boys. He knew how proud of both of them she was.

"Now, are you ready to be tucked in again?" Kevin asked. Timmy nodded. Kevin told him a story about a favorite cartoon he remembered from when he was little. He told him all about Yogi Bear and his little friend Boo Boo Bear. Timmy was hyper and it took three stories before he drifted off, still clutching his official promise to his chest. Kevin kissed him on the forehead and carefully extracted the paper from Timmy's grasp. He folded it and put it on the nightstand where Timmy could see it when he woke up.

Susannah headed for her office and then she planned on heading home. She told Sam and Viki she needed to talk to them about the latest developments with Timmy. She told them that it could wait until tomorrow.

Viki walked Kevin to the elevator. "I would have stayed overnight with him, but Susannah didn't seem to think that was a good idea," Kevin explained once they were down the hall.

"I know you would have honey. I think Susannah is right. Timmy is just having a hard time right now."

"Because I broke my original promise to him." Viki saw the pain in Kevin's eyes as he admitted that.

"Oh, Kevin. I think that's just part of it. There's a lot going on inside of Todd. He is starting to remember some things and we found out so much more about his feelings and confusion over the sexual abuse. He's on new medication. Please, don't put all the blame on yourself."

"I'm just happy that Tea knew where to find me," Kevin stated.

"So am I honey. So am I." Viki kissed Kevin goodnight.

"I'll be back by eight tomorrow. Now I have to go home and think up some french toast stick eating chicken jokes." Viki squeezed Kevin's arm. She watched as the elevator doors closed and then headed back to spend the night with Timmy.

*****

Tea was sitting in her office trying her best to pay attention to what Mr. Rodriguez was saying about the lease on his new store. Her mind kept drifting back to Timmy. She kept hearing his screams for her. Not wanting to short change her client, Tea forced herself to pay attention to what he was saying. When their business had concluded Tea walked to the outer office. She was surprised to see Kevin waiting for her. "Is Timmy all right?" Tea asked as soon as Mr. Rodriguez was out the door.

"Yes. He was sleeping when I left." Kevin filled Tea in on everything that happened after she left. He told her about the "official promise" and that most likely Timmy would want her to sign one too.

"Very clever Buchanan. So, you found the way to convince him that we won't be gone forever if we leave his sight?"

"So far this seems to calm his fears. And don't thank me. If it weren't for my staying away he would not be freaking out the way he is."

"You can't take all the blame. He and Tom and who knows whom else thought I was staying away because I was angry with them. God Kevin. When I think of all the times I walked out on Todd and all the times I threatened to . . . can you imagine what that must have done to him? I was causing one of his worst nightmares to come true . . . having a woman he loved abandon him."

"He did give you reasons to walk out on him Tea. You didn't realize how sick he was."

"I know . . . that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I know he was hard to live with, at times. Sometimes I would just ask myself 'what have I gotten myself into?' There were bad times. Now, when I look back on our time together, I realize what a gift Todd was to my life. No offense Buchanan, but Todd was the first man I ever truly loved or felt I could completely be myself with. He never judged me. No matter what I told him. I told him things about myself I'd never told anyone. Not only didn't he think less of me for it . . . I got the feeling he was actually proud of my actions. He made me feel I was as good as he. I was not that little girl always looking in from the outside . . . never being allowed in. Todd let me in. He kept me out of some parts of his life. He couldn't help that, but in so many important ways he let me in. He made me feel like I was worth something."

"Tea. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry if you felt as if I used you or I didn't think you were good enough. I swear I never saw it that way. I know this isn't an excuse, but you do know how things were with Cassie and me at that point. She was still trying to stay true to Andrew. I was trying to get over her. You just got caught in the middle. I am really sorry."

"Relax, Buchanan. I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. I was a big girl. I knew the score. I'm not saying this to tell you how bad for me you were. I telling you how good for me Todd was. I never appreciated just how good." Tea sighed deeply. "Oh Kevin. I miss him so much. I love Timmy . . . Tom . . . Andy . . . little Adam. I know I will love most of the other children when I meet them, but I miss Todd. I miss his humor and his wit. I miss the way he looks at life. I miss waking up and finding him downstairs, still up from the night before. Even though I sometimes felt afraid around him, I also felt safe. I knew that Todd would always be there for us, no matter what. I knew that if I needed to, I could tell him anything. He would have been on my side. I miss the things we did with Starr. I lost a daughter in this. No one seems to realize that. I wonder if Starr even remembers me?" Tears formed in Tea's eyes.

"I'm sure she does. Do you think there is any chance that Blair will let you see her?" Kevin posed.

"Are you kidding! Blair's hatred of me grows in leaps and bounds. Now that she knows I am going to be around more she is really going to go for the jugular."

"That reminds me . . . what's with Dorian's visits? Since when is she a Todd fan?" Kevin could not hide his contempt for Dorian.

"She claims she was there to lend support to Viki and according to her, she is one of Timmy's favorite people."

Kevin laughed. "Don't you just love 'the world according to Dorian?' I am surprised Timmy even remembered her. I hope my mom is keeping an eye on Auntie Dorian." Kevin looked at his watch. "What I'd really like to do is go back to the hospital and check on Timmy." Kevin thought for a moment. "Nah, I don't think Susannah would feel that was healthy for him or therapeutic, as she would say."

"I know. I would like to do the same thing," Tea confessed. I guess Doctor Hanen is right. We can't encourage Timmy's dependence on us. They would call if there were a problem? Wouldn't they?" Tea was still unsure that they would let her know of any problems.

"Yes. They know how much you love Todd. Tea. I just think Sam and mom and even Susannah didn't want to push you. Now that they know how you feel I'm sure that they will let you know as soon as any problems pop up." Kevin looked at his watch again. "I know you missed out on alphabet spaghetti. Did you have any dinner?"

"Actually, no. I was running late as it was so I came straight here," Tea informed him.

"How would you like to go out for a drink and something to eat?" Kevin proposed.

"The eating part sounds good. I think you've had enough to drink today."

Kevin still had a pain deep inside him that he wanted to numb. However, he realized Tea was right and more importantly, he wanted to make sure to be at the hospital first thing in the morning. He was through letting Timmy down. He and Tea decided to go to Carlotta's diner.

The diner was still fairly crowded given the hour. Tea knew that she hadn't been checking in with Carlotta as often as she used to and she felt guilty. She saw Carlotta behind the counter talking to a young man whose back was to Tea. "I'll be right back. I want to go say hello," Tea told Kevin. Tea sat down next to the young man.

Carlotta kissed Tea on the cheek. "I've missed you Mija. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. We'll have a long talk when you have time," Tea said. She squeezed Carlotta's hand.

"Aren't you going to say hello to me Tea?" the young man asked. Tea took a good look at him. She was shocked. This tall, husky and very healthy looking young man was Eli.

"Eli! My God! I didn't recognize you. Look how you've grown."

Looking at him proudly, Carlotta took his hand and said, "He's not a little boy anymore. My Eli is man."

"Are you on spring break?" Tea asked.

"I'll bet I'm the only student in my dorm who would rather go visit his mother than go to Lauderdale," Eli joked.

"Eli, how are you feeling?" Tea looked into his eyes.

"Great! My viral load is way down. It's undetectable."

A customer called Carlotta over. "Eli, come to our table and talk to Kevin and me. I'd love to hear all about how you are doing."

Kevin was just as surprised at Eli's appearance as Tea had been. "So, Carlotta tells me you want to be a doctor?" Tea stated.

Looking a little embarrassed, Eli said, "yeah. Can you imagine that? . . . from straight F's to medical school . . . with just a few stops along the way. Seriously, I want to go into research. I want to find a cure for this damn disease. Not every kid is as lucky as I was to meet someone like Todd. There are lots of kids who can't get the protocol I got on because it's too expensive. Todd believed no kid should die because of money of the lack of it. It's a shame not everyone feels that way. Especially many of our politicians."

Eli impressed the hell out of Tea and Kevin. They couldn't believe this was the same boy they had known. They both realized the same thing. The shot at life that Eli has and the good that this young man might do for the world were another of the gifts Todd had given.

"Tea. I heard that Todd is pretty sick. I'm sorry." Eli's voice was filled with compassion and sadness.

"Yes, he is," Tea confirmed. "Eli, he's getting stronger. I know that he would be very proud of you. When he is well enough, I will tell him how great you are doing."

"He's not only paying for my medication, but also for my education as well. He didn't want me to know. He didn't want anyone to know. When I asked, mom told me the truth. Do you know that she always says a prayer for Todd and lights candles for him?" Tea didn't know that and she was very touched. "Why do you think it is that Todd wants to keep his doing such a good and kind thing for me a secret?" Eli asked.

"Oh, Eli. Todd doesn't feel very good about himself. I think he wants everyone to keep this bad image of him in his or her mind. It is what he feels comfortable with. It is too confusing for him when people see him as good," Tea explained as best she could.

"I know that feeling. I used to feel the same way. I think Todd recognized that in me. I think he saw a junior version of himself in me. I used to ask him why he was helping me. He always acted like he was helping me just to make me stay alive because dying was too easy an out for me," Eli chuckled and then asked, "Tea, do you think it would help if I went to visit Todd?"

Tea and Kevin exchanged looks. They both shrugged. "I don't know? I will ask Todd's doctor. Right now Todd is feeling very ashamed and embarrassed for people to see him this way. Including me," Tea admitted. Eli could see the pain in Tea's eyes when she said that. "Eli. Todd has what they call a conversion disorder." Tea tried to think of the best way to explain it. "He is psychologically blind. There is no physical reason for his loss of vision. That is part of the reason he is uncomfortable being seen by people whom he can't see."

"Mom told me that. She told me he has DID. I wasn't familiar with it. I did some research. I know that DID is usually caused by severe trauma and abuse." Eli did not add that he read that in most cases the abuse was sexual as well as physical and emotional.

"Yes, it is," Kevin confirmed.

"Todd knew that my stepfather and some of the guys my mom took up with used to beat me as well as her. I guess he understood me more than I ever knew," Eli sighed. "Well, if Todd's doctor feels it’s all right, I would like to tell him thank you. I would also like to let him know that his plan is paying off and I am in hell having to take organic chemistry and microbiology," Eli said with a smile. Tea and Kevin smiled back at this fine young man sitting in front of them. Eli excused himself. He went back to the counter.

"Do you think it would be helpful to Todd to see Eli?" Tea asked Kevin.

"I don't know. Todd never did like his good deeds being thrown in his face," Kevin joked sadly. "Besides, it is pretty hard to plan when Todd will be there. I do think it's a good idea to ask Susannah about it," Kevin suggested. He and Tea ordered. They kept he dinner conversation light. Both of them wanted a respite from their thoughts and feelings of guilt. Kevin not only felt guilt over Timmy and his anger at Pete, but also over his relationship with Cassie. He knew sooner or later they would have to get together and talk about either saving their marriage or ending it.

When Kevin and Tea finished eating, they went to say their goodnights to Carlotta and Eli. Carlotta stroked Tea's cheek. "Don't be a stranger Mija. We are family."

Tea took Carlotta's hand. "Thank you. I will remember that and thank you for your prayers."

"Todd doesn't deserve all that is happening to him. I know I had my fears about you marrying him, but I also recognize goodness when I see it. He's a good man Mija. I do know that."

Tea kissed Carlotta and Eli goodnight. Kevin shook Eli's hand. Kevin drove Tea back to where her car was parked and walked her to it. "Thank you," Kevin said softly.

"For what?" Tea asked.

"For keeping me from drinking and for being someone who understands what I'm feeling." Kevin gave Tea a grateful hug. What neither of them saw was Jerry Skinner, a photographer from the Sun whom Blair had paid to follow Tea around and take pictures of anything that looked suspicious. Jerry knew he had just earned his salary.

TO BE CONTINUED