'Fell?' Téa's mind didn't understand. 'Oh, I fell out the window. Blair pushed me out the window,' Téa thought to herself. Then she suddenly remembered. 'Todd! I have to get to the courthouse so Todd doesn't lose Starr and I don't lose Starr. I have to save Todd's little girl for him,' Téa was frantic. She tried to get up and realized she could not lift her arms. Téa began to panic. Téa's vision had cleared a little. She was able to make Viki out. She tried to call out to her to get her to help her get to the courthouse. Suddenly Téa realized how much her throat was hurting. She felt as if she were choking on something. When she tried to speak, she couldn't. Her panic increased.

A nurse told Viki to step aside. She didn't ask her to leave in case a familiar face was needed to keep Téa calm. "Téa, I'm a nurse. My name is Jen. You need to calm down. There is a tube in your throat that's been helping you breathe. We are going to take it out in a little while. You won't be able to talk as long as the tube in your throat. You have wrist restraints on because we don't want you to pull out any of the equipment. You sustained a head injury in a fall yesterday evening. It's morning now. You need to lie still. Do you understand what I just told you?"

Téa started to calm down a little. She nodded.

"Okay, you're doing fine," the nurse assured Téa just as Doctor Marahbee walked in.

"Well, Mrs. Manning. It's nice to see you awake. My name is Doctor Marahbee. I'm a neurosurgeon. Don't let that get you frightened. You did not require surgery. I know you can't talk with the breathing tube in your throat. We are going to take it out in just a few minutes. First, I need to run some tests on you. They won't hurt. I want you to follow my finger with your eyes. Don't move your head. Just use your eyes."

Téa not only understood his command, she was able to follow his finger. "Good! Now I'm going to place my hand in each of yours and I want you to squeeze them as hard as you can." Téa squeezed them with the strength he would normally expect from a female patient in her condition. "Good! You're doing great."

Téa grabbed and held onto the doctor’s hand before he had a chance to pull away. He looked into her eyes. He could tell she was frantically trying to tell him something. "Mrs. Manning. If I take the restraints off, do you promise not to pull out the breathing tube or any of the lines and promise not to try to get out of bed?"

Even though Téa wanted desperately to relieve herself of the very uncomfortable endotracheal tube, Téa nodded gratefully. Doctor Marahbee motioned to the nurse. They each freed one of Téa's hands. Téa immediately simulated writing for them. It was clear she wanted to communicate something. The nurse got her a pad and pen. Téa's vision was still a little blurred; however she was able to write . . . "Please let me leave. I'm an attorney. I have to get to court to help my husband." She tore off the page and handed it to the doctor.

"Mrs. Manning I'm sorry. You are in no condition to leave right now," Doctor Marahbee gently informed her.

Téa looked around the room. She motioned Viki over. Téa started to write again . . . "Viki, tell them to let me leave. Todd is waiting at the courthouse for me. I have to help him keep Starr. Tell them to let me leave."

"Honey, that was a long time ago. You won that case for Todd. He got to keep Starr. Todd is . . ."

"Hold it Mrs. Carpenter. I want Mrs. Manning to tell me about her husband. Mrs. Manning, I want you to tell me where you think your husband is right now. Write it down for me."

Téa wrote, "courthouse."

"Mrs. Manning can you please write down what year it is," Doctor Marahbee directed.

Téa wrote, "1997."

"Please write down where you are right now," he asked next.

"Hospital," Téa wrote.

"Please write down the name of the president of the United States."

Téa slammed her hand down on the pad in frustration and anger and wrote, "Bill Clinton!!!!!"

Doctor Marahbee smiled at all the angry exclamation points. He knew Téa was experiencing some post-traumatic retrograde amnesia and confusion and that it was not uncommon for right now. Since Téa was acting reasonably and calmly and she was oriented to person . . . at least to Viki, Todd and Starr . . . place . . . she knew she was in the hospital, being disoriented to time was not something that worried him greatly. He calmly told Téa what year it was. He informed her that her husband was in the hospital, just a few floors above her.

Téa looked to Viki for conformation. Viki could see confusion in Téa's large brown eyes. Viki took her hand. "Honey. Doctor Marahbee is telling you the truth. Todd is a patient on the psychiatric unit on seven."

It started to come back to Téa. After a minute she nodded to Viki and started to relax a little. Some doctors from respiratory therapy came to the ICU.

"We're going to extubate you now. That means we're going to take out the endotracheal tube in your throat. Do you want Mrs. Carpenter to leave?" Doctor Marahbee asked.

Téa shook her head firmly and held her hand out to Viki. Viki came closer and took it. "I'll be right here with you, honey." Viki's heart broke for this young woman she had come to love. She knew that right now Téa needed a mother.

Téa's bed was raised so she was sitting in an upright position. The respiratory therapist spoke to Téa. "Mrs. Manning, this will be uncomfortable for a few minutes. First we are going to suction the tube to try to minimize secretions. You may feel that you are not getting a good breath for just a few seconds. Try to stay calm. The suction catheter will be going while we take the tube out. The tape holding the tube in place will be taken off. We will then deflate the cuff on the tube and ask you to take as deep a breath as you can because vocal cords are most open during deep inspiration. Then we want you to cough. You will feel a little tug and some irritation in your throat as we pull the tube out. Do you have any questions?"

The nurse held up the pad and pen. Viki could see Téa looked frightened. She tightened her grip on Téa's hand. "It'll be over quickly, sweetie. Do you want me to get your grandmother and Del?" Viki offered.

Téa shook her head. She was embarrassed by her fear and need to have someone with her. A part of her wished Todd could be there and another part didn't want him to see her this way. She was glad Viki was there. She felt comfortable around Viki.

The respiratory therapist continued. "A lot of secretions will come out. Don't worry if this happens. We'll hold a basin in front of you. Once the tube is out you will probably be hoarse and your throat will hurt for a day or two. This is normal and while it may be uncomfortable, it's nothing to worry about. It would be best if you kept talking to a minimum for today."

Viki continued to hold Téa's hand as the nurse suctioned out the tube. Téa's heart was racing. She felt as if she couldn't breathe. She felt the tape being removed. "Okay, Téa. Take a deep breath," the therapist directed. Téa felt like crying. She took as deep a breath as she could and felt the tube slide up her throat. "Good work!" the therapist exclaimed. They didn't have to tell Téa to cough. The irritation from the tube caused her to cough so hard she felt her chest would burst. They held Téa slightly forward as secretions spilled into the basin. Téa was too uncomfortable for the moment to be embarrassed. Finally the coughing subsided, as did the release of the secretions. Téa started to relax.

They gently helped Téa to lean back against the raised bed. "Do you feel like you are getting a good breath?" Doctor Marahbee asked.

Téa took a deep breath and then nodded.

"Do you have any pains or complaints?" the doctor asked.

"My head hurts and I'm a little nauseous," Téa admitted.

"Is the headache severe?"

Téa shook her head. "Not too bad," she whispered.

"I'll order some medication for your nausea to be given to you now and you'll get something for the headache after the neuro exam. I'm going to let you rest for a while and then I need to run a more thorough neuro exam on you. In a little while we will take you for a CT scan. If all is well you should be able to leave by tomorrow or the day after," Doctor Marahbee explained. He ordered Compazine to be given IV for Téa's nausea and Percocet by mouth, to be given after the neuro exam and once the Compazine had a chance to kick in.

Téa still had a lot of confusion. She had no memory of the time right before she fell. Things still seemed a little unreal.

They left Téa and Viki to visit alone for a while.

"Sweetie, you are so brave. I'm so proud of you. I know Todd will be too," Viki smiled at Téa.

"Viki, what happened? How did I fall?"

Viki hesitated for a few moments. She didn't want Téa to become upset. She also did not want to lie to her. "What's the last thing you remember?" Viki asked.

Téa thought for a few seconds. She smiled. "Todd was able to communicate with Tom and Randy. He got to be with Randy again and he and Tom held each other."

Viki was relieved that Téa remembered that much. It was only the few minutes immediately surrounding the accident that she forgot. "Honey. There was a little more after that. Todd became upset when he realized Tom was one of the alters he'd been told about and that he had been out a lot in front of you. Tom became upset at Todd's anger with him and because he thought Todd wouldn't allow him to see you anymore. Tom ran off and you ran after him. Todd came back and you held onto him. He tried to get away and when you wouldn't let go he pulled away from you. You lost your balance and fell backward. You hit your head, hard, against the floor and developed a subdural hematoma . . . a blood clot. They were afraid you might need surgery, but you came through it just fine on your own." Viki sat back and gave Téa a chance to digest what she had just told her.

Téa still had no memory of what Viki just described. Suddenly she realized . . . "Oh my God! Todd! Does he know I fell when he pulled away from me?"

"Yes, he stayed Todd afterward. He held on all night because he was so worried about you and . . . "

"I have to get to him!" Téa cut Viki off and started to get out of the bed.

"Téa no! Honey. You can't get out of bed. Todd is fine. Honey, stop. Nurse!" Viki called out as she tried to hold Téa back.

"Mrs. Manning. You can't get up yet. You might be dizzy and can fall and reinjure yourself. You have to wait for the neuro exam to be completed."

Téa stopped struggling and tried to get her wits about her. She was afraid they would place her in restraints again, the way they did Todd when they thought he was in danger of harming himself. In her best "convincing a jury," voice Téa tried to reason with them. "Please! My husband is severely mentally ill. He is on seven, in one of the lock-down psychiatric units. I fell while he was trying to get away from me. I know my husband and I know he will be blaming himself. I have to let him know it wasn't his fault. I have to show him that I'm all right. Please!"

"Téa, we've all told Todd just that. Kevin is the oneTodd's believes most of all because he thinks Kevin hates him too much to lie to him to make him feel better about you getting hurt. Honey. Todd is fine. After all his body had been through, he slept through the night. He even willingly took his Dilantin so he wouldn't have a seizure. He was afraid that would keep him from you. He wanted very much to come here, but Susannah couldn't allow it."

"Mom's telling you the truth," Kevin said as he approached Téa's bed. He came into the ICU when he heard the good news. Téa's grandmother had fallen asleep in the chair and Del didn't want to wake her. He waited outside with her.

"I know Todd," Téa insisted. "As much as he might want to believe either of you he won't be totally convinced until I'm right next to him. You know Todd has a problem with trust. Please! Take me to him. You can take me in a wheelchair."

*****

Sam had woken up with a start. It was near nine. He saw the sun streaming in through the window and he looked at his watch. He jumped out of bed. "Todd!" he thought out loud. Sam splashed some cold water on his face. Combing his hair or changing out of his wrinkled clothes didn't even occur to him. He rushed to Todd's room.

Todd had been tossing and turning and crying out in his sleep for the past twenty minutes. Susannah had returned to the dayroom at eight thirty. "Shhhh, it's all right Todd. Everything's okay. Shhhh," Susannah spoke soothingly. She brushed back the hair that had fallen in Todd's face to reveal a pained and troubled look on it.

Sam panicked when he saw no one in Todd's room and then he remembered. He rushed to the dayroom.

"Delgado! Delgado! I'm sorry. Oh God! Please don't let her die." Todd had sat straight up. He was gasping for breath. He clawed wildly at the air. He had probably been having a dream.

"Todd," Susannah took his hands. "It's Doctor Hanen. Relax. Téa is fine. I spoke to the ICU nurse just a few minutes ago. Téa woke up. They took out the breathing tube. She talking and she's fine. She'll probably be transferred to a regular room later today."

"No! I saw her fall. I saw it! She died! I know she did. My dad told me. He said she's never coming back again. Oh God! I wanna die. I wanna die and be with her."

Susannah wondered if Téa falling would eventually trigger memories of what Jimmy witnessed. She hoped Todd wouldn't dissociate into Jimmy. "Todd Téa did not die! Kevin will be here soon and he'll tell you. She's fine. Once she's in her own room you can talk to her on the phone. Hmmmm, would you like that?"

Todd's anxiety was great. He was not able to comprehend what was being said to him. "You let me get to Delgado! If she's not dead, I want to go to her! You let me go. When my dad first told me my mom was dead I didn't believe him. I kept thinking she'd come back. She never did! Delgado's never coming back either. I killed her! That's what I do. I hurt people. I kill people, even when I don't mean to. I'm evil. Oh Gooooood! She fell!"

*****

"Look, I'm an attorney," Téa was still frantically trying to get to Todd. "I know I have the right to sign myself out against medical advice. You bring me whatever forms are necessary and I will sign them. I need to get to my husband. If he is not allowed to come here, than I will go to him. I know Todd. He is blaming himself no matter what assurances you give him. He is hating himself. I'm the only one who can get him to truly believe that I'm not dead and that he did nothing wrong. Now please, get out of my way and let me get to my husband!" *****

"Todd, you need to calm down or we will have to help you with some medication," Susannah firmly informed him.

"I'm not hurting myself! I want to see my wife. My wife." Todd emphasized the word "my." "You have no right to keep me from her. You just don't want me to know I killed her. I want to be with her. Please, I'm begging you. If she's not dead then let me go to her. Don't I have any rights!"

"Yes you do Boomer. You have rights and I'm here to see that they're protected." Susannah and her staff had been concentrating on Todd and did not see Sam enter the dayroom. "Let him go see his wife," Sam ordered.

"Sam, you need to wait outside," Frank's voice was firm.

"No! Sam! Don't go! Help me! They won't let me go to Téa! Help me!"

That was all Sam needed to hear. Todd was asking him for help. He would not let him down this time. "As Todd's guardian, I have every right to make decisions for him. I will take full responsibility. I want to take him to see Téa."

Susannah approached Sam. "Sam, you know that would not be safe for Todd or for Téa and the other patients in the ICU. I told Todd he can speak to Téa on the phone, later, when she's in a regular room. Now please, you are not helping."

Todd stood up and reached his hands out in the direction Sam's voice came from. "Sam! I killed Téa! I killed her. She fell down and died because of me. I killed her! I wanna die! I don't want you to get me off. You let them kill me. You let them hang me or whatever they do! Téa came back for me and she fell and died!" Todd cried out.

Sam rushed over and took Todd's freezing cold hands in his. "No, Todd I swear to you. Téa's not dead. She's in the ICU. She's going to be okay. Boomer, relax. I'll get you in to see Téa. I promise!"

Todd held onto Sam's hands tightly. "You really promise? Sam, you really promise?"

"I know you have every reason not to trust in me, Boomer. I promise. I won't let you down this time." Sam turned to Susannah. "I'm taking him to Téa. I'll do it against medical orders if I have too."

Susannah, and the staff exchanged worried looks. Now, Sam legally had the right to take Todd. They did not want to pull Viki away from Téa. They also knew any confrontation with Sam would freak Todd out. Susannah realized she had to try to turn this situation as safe as possible for all concerned. "Todd, if we allow you to go to Téa, are you willing to take some medication before you go to help you stay calm?"

"No! You're trying to drug me so I won't be able to get to her. Sam! Don't let them drug me!"

"Todd the medication I want you to take is just a mild sedative. You are much too anxious. You will upset Téa if she sees you like this. You can also try to use some coping skills and try to calm yourself. I can help you with your breathing," Susannah spoke calmly.

Todd stood still. He still held onto Sam. He didn't know what to do. 'I don't want to do anything to upset Delgado. If she's really alive I don't want to make her sicker. What if they're lying to me? You can't trust nobody. What if I take their medicine and it puts me to sleep so I can't get to Delgado. I like Doctor Hanen. I don't think she'd lie to me. No! Everyone lies to me.' Todd's thoughts were racing a-mile-a-minute. 'Papa, help me. What should I do? I'm afraid of their medicine. I don't want to upset Téa if she's alive. I don't even know if I can trust Sam. Kevin never came back. Viki probably don't want him to tell me I killed Delgado. Papa what should I do? Do you think Sam will really take me to see Delgado?"

"Trust them Todd. Show them you can be trusted in return. I know how much you love Téa. I trust Doctor Hanen. She won't lie to you. You can take the medication. Sam loves you. He will take you to Téa. I'll be with you, Todd. I'll always be with you. Papa loves you." Todd felt Goodone's arms around him. It was the first time he ever felt it when he was outside.

"Do you promise the medicine won't put me to sleep or keep me from getting to Delgado in some way?" Todd asked nervously.

"I promise Todd. It's just a mild sedative to take the edge off your anxiety. Come on. Why don't you and Sam sit down for a few minutes? Terry will bring you some juice so you don't end up with low blood sugar or dehydrated, and the pill. We can try to slow your breathing down while you wait. Deal?"

Todd's chin quivered as he tried to keep himself from crying. He hated this so much. As afraid as he was Todd thought, 'Oh God, the last thing I want to do is hurt Delgado even more.' "Deal," he agreed. Todd allowed them to lead him back to the couch and gently help him to sit down and lean back.

*****

"Téa, God! You're as out of control as Todd. If you sign yourself out and get worse what do you think that will do to Todd!" Kevin tried this approach. His heart was breaking for Téa and for Todd. He began to understand how truly alike they were. 'Mirror images,' he thought. "I know you hit your head and you're not thinking straight. Maybe you can talk to him on the phone."

"Yes, honey, I'm sure once you've had your tests and the CT scan they will take you to a private room and you will have a phone," Viki assured her. "Sweetie, I'd give you my cell phone, but you're not allowed to use them in here."

"How's that sound? Okay?" Téa didn't respond to Kevin. He could see she was thinking it over. "Come on Téa. You have those tests and then you call Todd, that way you can give him all the good news. I'm sure those tests will be fine. In the meantime I'll go to Todd and let him know you're okay. Deal?" Kevin waited for a response.

Téa realized that did make some sense. 'Madre de Dios, the last thing I want to do is hurt Todd even more,' Téa thought to herself. "Deal," she agreed. Téa allowed Kevin to gently push her back against the pillows.

Susannah asked Frank and Jeff to accompany Todd, Sam and her to the ICU. She hoped Todd would remain stable as they all headed for the ICU.

TO BE CONTINUED