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Objective Duel: Staring Contest

Welcome to the Objective Duels! Read the supreme excitement below!

The Introduction
Announcer: "After the last match, some fans were complaining about the violent treatment (along with the C.E.O. of 'Objective Duels Inc', Chaou-zu) displayed in the duel itself. So, we've cut down the amount of fighting and, I give you the result! This Objective Duel's objective is to be the last one to blink! And the gladiators...in the Multi-colored corner packing a whopping 4 eyes, he likes participating in Tae-bo competitions, riding those kiddy rides in front of Wal-Mart and playing with his food...he is Guldo! His opponent, in the Butt-Ugly Green corner, he is referred to as the 'Three-Eyed Cowboy', the 'Tyaoiken Trampler'...armed with 3 deadly eyes, he enjoys flirting with the C.E.O., Chaou-zu, baking and losing Tenkaichi Budokais...this man is Tenshinhan!!! Get and your corners and come out staring!"

The SmackDown!
Announcer: "Okay, that's the bell and HERE...WE...GOOOO!! Wow, Tenshinhan looks fired up today, this should be a good match... Guldo is staring, Tenshinhan is staring, oh MY! It seems that they are...both...staring?! Hmm...not what I would call even half-way interesting. Boy, this is...enter..wah..tain..ment...*yawns* The action...is...getting to...me...*falls asleep*

*An audience member yells at the Announcer* Wha..? Oh, we're still here! This is DEVASTATING...ly boring...*falls asleep*...*Audience member throws a Milk-Dud at the Announcer* Huh? WOW! This is IT!!!...IT'S A WHOLE MILK-DUD!!! *Announcer eats the Milk-Dud*...

Hmm, wait...what's this? Tenshinhan seems to have something up his sleeve...wait, he's not wearing a shirt! *Announcer looks confused* THIS IS IT! The victory we've been waiting for! Tenshinhan slowly but surely pulls off his patented 'Third-Eye Blind' move in which his eyes rotate in a circle!! Guldo seems to be frustrated with this technique! He's absolutely DAZED! And...HE BLINKS! Tenshinhan WINS!!!"

The Re-cap
Announcer: "So...*yawns*...what an...action-packed...ma------- - - - - - t...ch...*falls asleep*"

Chaou-zu: "Wow, what an IMPROVEMENT...forget that 'fighting' thing! Let's do this more often! *claps joyfully as though contented with the match*"

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