ALL THIS TIME

Chapter 21-25

Chapter 21

Chris came back to work fully expecting that Kathleen would grill him about his weekend, which he wasn't ready to discuss with her this early in the morning.  Opening the door to his office building he knew his hunch was correct about her.  She sat at her desk with two mugs of coffee already fixed for the both of them.

"Why didn't you surprise me by calling in to say that you would be staying for a few more days?  I really thought I was going to get a few free vacation days off of you Ramsey."  Kathleen quipped at him as she handed him a mug of coffee.

"I couldn't bear the thought of having to pay you for not working around here today.  When is my first patient appointment anyway?"  Chris asked as he sipped on his hot coffee.

"I rescheduled all your early appointments for later in the day since I really didn't know what time you would come rolling into town."  Kathleen said as she scanned through his appointment schedule on the computer.

Chris shot her a look, "Kathleen, why didn't you call me at home then to let me know of your scheduling changes?  I could have still been sleeping if I had known.  I swear good help is so hard to find.  I ought to fire you."

"Please, who else would put up with your constant mood swings?  You are moodier than a woman with extreme PMS.  I would have thought your little trip would have put you in a better frame of mind.  Speaking of which, how was the wedding?"

"The wedding didn't happen as planned and before you ask me one hundred questions about it, let me say that I don't want to get into the whole story right now."  Chris tried to walk into his office to get away from his inquiring friend.

Kathleen was not deterred by Chris' comment at all, "No way are you going to go into your office, shut your door and not tell me one single thing that happened with you and your family this past weekend."

Chris busied himself at his desk trying to ignore Kathleen but she would have none of his silent treatment, "Chris, I can tell something went on with you this weekend.  If it hadn't been anything big you would have told me all about it right off the bat.  You saw her didn't you?"

Chris acted like he didn't have a clue as to what Kathleen was asking him, "Saw who?  Evidentally you have been watching too much Soapnet again this weekend.  Didn't Kyle take you out any this weekend?"

"Don't play dumb with me.  It certainly doesn't suit you Ramsey.  You saw Eve, the woman in the picture that you have hidden in your desk drawer, the woman you are in love with.  I knew it.  Give it up, I want details now."

"No comment, but you can get back to work anytime today, Inquisitive One."  Chris looked around his desk searching for a pen.

Kathleen reached into her lab coat and handed him a pen.  "Chris, please tell me what happened?  I'm dying of curiousity."

"Well you know what killed the cat, don't you?  Go file, or pay bills, or something, I'm not in the mood for an inquistion this morning."

Kathleen huffed, "Suit yourself, but you know I'll find out eventually one way or another."

Chris shook his head as she stomped out of his office to go back to her desk.  He set his mind on the day's work that was ahead of him.  Kathleen approached his office again, "One more thing to ask you, before I start slaving away for you."

"What?"  he asked, glancing up from the patient's file he was researching.

"Are you going to be in a good enough mood to start interviewing the possible candidates for a doctor to join your practice this week?  If we don't get someone else in here to help you soon, I'm going to have to start turning away new patients."

Chris countered back, "I'm not in a bad mood.  I've just got alot on my mind.  You are right about us getting someone else in here to help out with our caseload.  Will you please set up some meetings this week for me?"

"Since you said please, I'll get on that project today.  I'll let you know what I come up with."

"Thanks Kathleen, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shelly and Madison drove Eve to the airport for her flight.  They said their goodbyes as Eve had tried not to cry at the thought of leaving Madison even though it was only for a few short days.  After Eve got settled on the airplane she felt anxious about going to see Chris.  For one thing, he didn't know she was coming to see him.  Her mind wondered what if he changed his mind about her when he found out her secret about Madison.  Part of her wanted to see him so bad and part of her was scared to death of what would actually happen between the two of them this week. 

The flight came to an end and she moved along with the flow of exiting passengers.  She grabbed her bags and managed to hail a cab to take her to the address on the business card Chris had left in the letter for her.  She just hoped he would be glad to see her. 

She walked up the sidewalk carrying her bags to arrive at the front door of the neat brick building.  Looking at his nameplate on the door that stated Dr. Chris Ramsey, M.D., she felt a rush of pride for him and all of his accomplishments since the time he had departed Port Charles.  She remembered the time he had told her he would leave Port Charles with her before anyone realized that she was expecting if that was what she had wanted to do.  He had told her they could find a small town that was a great place to raise kids and start their own practice.  When he had suggested that option to her, she had thought he was completely crazy, but now she realized how serious he had been in making that offer to help her.  Coming here made her realize that he had indeed made a new life for himself after she had refused to marry him.

Taking a deep breath, she turned the doorknob to go into his office to face him and let him know how she felt about him.  Since it was early evening she noticed there were no patients waiting in the spacious and elegantly decorated waiting room.  Off to the side of the waiting room there was a woman sitting at a desk talking on the telephone and keying into her computer at the same time.  Eve put her bags down and patiently waited for her to finish her conversation.  The pretty auburn haired woman completed her call and hung up the phone.  She noticed Eve sitting in a chair and motioned for her to come to her desk.  "May I help you?  Dr. Ramsey is finishing up with his last patient for the day, but if you need to see him, he will be able to be with you in a few minutes.  All I need is for you to fill out a new patient information form since I haven't ever seen you in our office before." 

Kathleen picked up a clipboard with a form attached on it and began to hand it to Eve when she stopped short.  There was something vaguely familiar about this attractive brunette that was standing in front of her desk.  It hit Kathleen all at once the reason why it seemed like she knew this woman from somewhere, "Oh my goodness, it's you."

"Excuse me?  Do I know you?"  Eve asked giving Kathleen a puzzled look.

"You are the woman in the picture."  Kathleen put the clipboard back down on her desk and came around to examine Eve more closely.

"What are you talking about?"  Eve inquired as she studied the young woman quizzically.

Kathleen walked around Eve for a moment then said, "Chris has a picture of you and him together in his desk.  Granted, I had to sneak in there and find it after he put it up so I couldn't tell what he was looking at one day, but you have to understand he is so secretive sometimes it drives me nuts.  You're the one."

"I don't mean to be rude, but you are talking in circles.  What do you mean I'm the one?"

Kathleen held out her hand to Eve to shake, "Forgive my manners, let me introduce myself.  I'm Kathleen Bartlett.  I work for Chris as his combination nurse and receptionist and we are friends too."

Eve shook Kathleen's proffered hand, "I'm ..."

"I know who you are.  You're Eve.  You are the woman he talks about when he gets very drunk around me.  You are the one woman he can't seem to forget about."

Eve looked at her, "Are the two of you involved with one another?"

Kathleen started laughing, "Good Lord no!  Chris is best friends with my fiancee Kyle.  I can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees you.  Chris Ramsey, speachless and stunned.  Giving to mood he has been in today it will be priceless to my soul to witness this.  You don't have a camera stashed in one of your bags, do you?"

"No, why?"

Kathleen smirked, "I'd like to have a Kodak moment of Chris being at a total loss for words.  It's a sight that rarely ever occurs in this office."

Eve grinned, "I think you and I are going to be friends Kathleen.  You've got Ramsey's number down, don't you?"

"You bet.  There is not much that man ever gets past me once I set my mind to it."

The door opened and an elderly gentlemen stepped out into the hall from one of the patient examining rooms.  "Thank you for seeing me today on such short notice Dr. Ramsey.  I promise to take my medicine like I am supposed to from now on."

Chris stepped out into the hall too and placed a hand on the man's arm, "Mr. Griffin, you have to follow the directions specifically on your diabetes medicine or you will get sick again.  I can't have one of my favorite patients feeling so bad.  Let me know how you are feeling later on during to week." 

Mr. Griffen smiled, "I will Dr. Ramsey.  You have a good evening."

"I will.  You take care of yourself."  Chris turned to go back into the room to get something as Mr. Griffen walked into the waiting area and greeted Kathleen and Eve.
 

Kathleen sweetly told him, "Mr. Griffen, don't worry about paying now.  I'll file the claim with your insurance company.  Do you need me to help you to your car?"

"No thank you dear.  I'm feeling some better.  You just try and keep Dr. Ramsey straight."

Kathleen smiled, "It's a hard job but I manage to do it most days."

Mr. Griffin exited the building as Chris came up the hall reading Mr. Griffen's chart and scribbling some notes on it.  He didn't even notice Eve standing there.  He went to put the chart down and looked up to say something to Kathleen when he realized that Eve was standing beside Kathleen.  He closed his eyes as if he were seeing things and opened them again to the same exact scene.  Seeing that Eve standing in the same room with him was not his imagination playing tricks on him, he quietly spoke, "I can't believe you actually came here."

Eve nodded, "Well you see, I was in the neighborhood so I thought I would drop by to see you."

He grinned, "The neighborhood, huh?  You a little ways from Port Charles, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I guess it is a few miles from Port Charles.  I just had to see for myself that you had really had your own practice here like you told me the other night.  Care to show me around?"

He held out his arm to escort her, "Right this way, Dr. Lambert."

Kathleen gathered her pocketbook from under her desk and announced, "See ya Chris.  Nice meeting you Eve.  I hope we will see each other again during your visit."

Eve said, "You can count on it.  By the way, if you need any dirt on Chris, I'm the woman to see."

Chris interjected, "No way Lambert.  Don't give Kathleen any more ammunition on me or you'll wind up being in big trouble with me."

Eve laughed, "I'll take my chances with you Ramsey.  Goodnight Kathleen."

"I knew I was going to like you.  I'll get with you tomorrow Eve.  Bye."  Kathleen waved as she breezed past them on her way out the door.

Chapter 22

Shelly took Madison to the park to play after they had eaten supper.  She was swinging Madison in a swing, enjoying hearing her peals of laughter floating through the air as she pushed the swing for her.  Jack came up behind them and observed them having such a good time with one another.

"Hey Shelly."

Shelly jumped at the sound of Jack's voice, "God Jack, you nearly scared me to death!  What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?" 

"Sorry.  I called Eve's apartment to talk to you and Jessica said that you and Madison were going to the park to play after supper."  Jack bent down and picked up a rock from the ground and twiddled it around his fingers.  "Is Eve at work?  I thought she might be with you two tonight?"

"As if it is any of your business, Eve went on a little vacation, so I'm taking care of Madison this week.  I thought it would be good for me to stay at Eve's anyway until I found another place to live." 

"Shelly, you have a place to live, it's with me if you will just come back home.  We belong together not apart from one another."

Shelly shook her head, "No, I don't have a home with you anymore.  Look, it's getting late and I need to get Madison home so I can get her a bath and ready for bed."

"Can we please talk sometime this week.  We've got alot of things that we really need to discuss.  I've got some things that I need to tell you. Maybe we could have dinner tomorrow night?" Jack asked hopefully trying to get past her angriness at him.

"I'll just have to ask Jessica if she doesn't have plans for tomorrow night."  She said to him as she stopped Madison's swing from moving and gingerly removed her from the swing.  "Call me tomorrow at Eve's and I'll see what I can do."

"Ok, Goodnight Shelly.  Bye Madison."  Jack replied as he walked back to his Jeep trying to figure out a plan to convince Shelly that she belonged with him.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris took Eve on a tour of his office after Kathleen left.  When they were finished going through the building he asked her, "What do you think?"

Eve honestly replied, "Chris, I am so proud of you.  This place is fantastic.  How did you manage to get all of this going?"

"When I moved here I got a job at Coastal Medical Center, CMC for short, working at the hospital.  After working there for a few months I realized that I didn't want to be in same situation that I was in at GH trying to be the best no matter what the cost to anyone around me.  I met an older doctor named Dr. Davidson who had a general practice in town.  He talked to me about joining his practice and told me that eventually when he retired I could take over the practice.  That was about two and a half years ago when I started working with him in his office and this past spring he decided he would retire.  I've had it on my own since then but Kathleen and I both realize we have got to get another doctor and a receptionist in here to help us with the workload."

"That makes sence.  So, you and Kathleen been friends ever since you started work here?"  Eve questioned him as they walked back into his private office.

"Do I detect a note of jealously?"  Chris grinned as he went to sit in his chair and propped up his feet upon his desk.

"Hardly, Kathleen made it pretty clear that there was nothing going on between the two of you.  I really like her.  She also told me a few interesting things about you."  Eve moved nearer to Chris' desk.

"Such as?"

"Well, I just want to see if I can find it for myself as to what she was referring to when she said she recognized me from somewhere."  Eve inched her way to the desk drawers and reached her hand back to open a drawer.

Chris sat up and looked at her like she was crazy, "What do you think you are doing?"

Eve reached into the top side drawer, "I'm looking for something."

Chris got up and moved over to her side.  He placed his hand on her wrist, "You better quit while you are ahead because you are definately going to get in trouble with me now."

Eve's eyes brightened, "If I'm not mistaken you have already threatened me with getting into trouble with you once already.  Don't you remember how much I like trouble?"

She moved her hand to another drawer to open it and Chris turned her around to face him, "I warned you Eve, now you are going to have to face the consequences of disregarding my warnings."

She looked into his hypnotic brown eyes, "What consequences could that possibly be for me?"

"This,"  Chris slid his fingers into her hair and tilted her head back then lowered his mouth to hers.  He flicked the tip of his tongue across her full lips, then he pressed gently to gain access to her delightful mouth.  Eve responded so naturally, she melted into his kiss.  It felt so right and just when she thought she was losing control of her senses he abruptly stopped and pulled back from her.  Eve looked disoriented for a moment at him, then Chris added, "see, I told you so.  I'm more trouble than you can handle Lambert."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "You are so infuriating sometimes Ramsey."

"You shouldn't have tried to get into my desk without asking my permission.  If you wanted to see something all you had to do was ask me and if you were really sweet then I might be tempted to get it for you."

"Alright, will you please let me see the picture you have of me in your desk?  The one Kathleen was telling me about earlier."  She asked in a sweet tone of voice to him.

"You women just can't leave anything alone, can you?"  Chris rolled his eyes and then opened his desk drawer to pull out the picture.  He handed it to Eve and she recognized the picture of them.  They looked happy in the picture, smiling and hugged up against one another.

Eve spoke, "I always wondered where this picture of us had gotten to.  You stole my picture of us from me."

Chris shook his head, "No, that was my picture of us.  I've had it since the first time you lived at my old apartment with me."

Eve looked at the picture poignantly, "Oh my goodness, that picture was taken such a long time ago.  I can't believe you have kept it with you all this time.  Seeing this reminds me that we have been through alot together, haven't we?"

Chris nodded, "Yeah, we have.  Come on let's get out of here.  Are you hungry?  Do you want to go and get something to eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry right now."

"Let's go to my house then," he suggested as he took her by the hand.

"You own a house?  Ramsey, I am intrigued.  After you show me your house, maybe you can direct me in the right path to find a good place to stay while I am here visiting you."

Chris dropped her hand and picked up her luggage, "If you have come all the way down here to visit me, I think you can stay with me at the house.  I've got two bedrooms if that is what is bothering you.  I won't put any moves on you unless you want me to."

"Chris, it's not that, I just didn't want you to think that I assumed that I would stay with you.  I mean you didn't even know I was coming ..."

"I'm glad that you did.  I didn't know if you would ever get back in touch with me after I left again."

A serious look crossed Eve's features, "Well, we have got a few things we really need to talk about Chris."

"I know we do.  How about we have our discussion after I show you my house and you get settled in?"  He offered up to her as he locked the door to the building and put her bags into his convertible Mercedes.  He went and opened the door for her to get in the car.  After Eve was in the car he got into the driver's side and put the keys into the car's ignition.  He grinned at her, "Are you ready for an adventure?"

She smiled, "Lead the way Ramsey,"  with that remark from Eve, Chris began the drive to his beachhouse.  During the drive both of them were sliently wondering exactly what the night ahead had in store for them both.

Chapter 23

Eve enjoyed the ride to Chris' beach house in his convertible.  The scenery was so different from what she was used to viewing in Port Charles.  There were graceful old homes with trees lining the streets that were draped in spanish moss hanging down from their branches.  The town had a certain historic charm to it that couldn't be found by her in New York.  Eve tried to capture in all of the sights as she spoke to him,  "Oh Chris, this town is so captivating.  I can see why you like living here so well."

"Wait until you see my place.  It has it's own certain appeal to it."

Eve asked,  "Is it a house like these that I have seen so far?"

"No, I have a house by the ocean,"  he proudly answered her question.

"Is it a long ways from here?"

"Just a couple more miles on the outskirts of town.  That is one of the perks of living here.  You have all of this city laced with history laden stories and fabulous architecture to admire and then suddenly you cross over the marshes to get to the various islands.  I knew from the moment I arrived here that this was the place that I wanted to try and start over my life at."

Eve brushed her hand to lightly touch Chris' hand that was on the gearstick of the car, "I'm happy you found a good place to start over.  I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I wished you hadn't of come here though."

Chris glanced over to view her windblown features, "Why do you wish I hadn't of come here to live?"

She quietly replied, "Because you left me behind."

Chris sighed, "When I left Port Charles I thought that you had what you wanted in your life Eve and I wasn't a part of that life anymore.  I asked you to go away with me once, don't you remember?"

"I remember,"  Eve pulled her hand away from his to wipe a stray tear that had fallen onto her cheek as Chris finally pulled up into his driveway. 

He stopped the car and tried to get her to look at him, "Eve, please don't cry.  You're the one person I can't stand to see cry.  Your tears were one of the few things that could melt my hardened heart.  You don't want me going all soft on you now, do you?"

Eve shook her head, "No, we can't have that happening to you Ramsey."  She turned to face him with a small smile on her face, "Look, no more tears.  I guess that was a momentary lapse on my part thinking about what could have been."

Chris moved over to inspect her face, "Eve, let's try to concentrate on what can be."  He tenderly touched her face and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.  When they parted from one another he suggested, "You want to see my house now?"

"Sure, I'm sorry about the tears.  I don't know what has gotten into me lately."

"It's ok.  I just don't want to be the reason you cry.  I don't ever want to hurt you Eve."

She moved to get out of the car, "We have both done things in the past to hurt one another at various times.  You didn't bring this on.  I think I'm just being sentimental about getting to spend some time with you again."

Chris walked around to her, "If you'll let me we can make alot more good memories than bad ones together."

Eve smiled and hugged him, "I'm so grateful to have you back in my life again Ramsey.  You have no idea how bad I've missed not having you around."

Chris returned her hug, "I think I might have an idea Lambert.  I've missed you too.  Are we going to stand out here in the driveway all day or are we going to go in?"

Eve nodded that she was ready to go in and Chris opened the door for them.  "Welcome to my home Eve."

"Thank you," Eve stepped into his house admiring its classic style.  "Chris, this house looks so inviting and comfortable.  Did you do all of this yourself?"

"I wish I could lay claim to the design and outlay of the house, but it I bought if from a couple who were patients of mine."

"How could they sell this?  It is perfect."

"They were a retired couple who were so interesting to be around.  Paul and Hannah Stewart were really a great couple.  Paul had been in the military and Hannah was an artist.  This was their winter home."

"Why did they get rid of it?"

"Last winter Paul found out that he had pancreatic cancer and he came here to enjoy his last days with Hannah.  I worked closely with his doctor from up north since he was adamant that he was coming back to their special place.  When he passed away Hannah decided that she couldn't live here anymore without Paul and she gave me first option to buy the house from her.  Her only stipulation was that she could come and visit with me here when she comes back down to see their friends."

"Oh how sad Chris."

"It was sad.  I know we are not supposed to get so emotionally involved with our patients but they became friends of mine.  I wish you could have seen how much they loved each other.  It was amazing to see a couple that devoted to one another after all those years being together. "  He paused a minute and added, "Here let me put your bags in the guest room."

Eve followed Chris into a tastefully done bedroom that contained an antique iron bed with the walls adorned with watercolor pastel pictures.  Eve asked, "Did Hannah paint these pictures?"

"Yes, she really is a talented artist.  She left me these pictures because I admired her work."

Eve took her bags from Chris, "I'll just put my things up.  How about I meet you on the deck in a few minutes?"

"That sounds good.  I'll see you in a few minutes."  Chris left the room to give Eve time to unpack a few things.  Eve opened up her suitcase that Shelly had packed for her and started laughing at the contents within.  Shelly had packed Eve various sexy lingerie items for Eve with a note on top of them.

Eve~hope you have more fun wearing these that I did buying them for you. 
Remember you owe me details on how things go with Chris. 
I love you sis!  Enjoy! 
Love, Shelly

Eve spoke out loud to herself, "I'm going to kill my sister."

Chris popped back into the doorway, "Talking to yourself Lambert?"

Eve laughed, "My sister is crazy.  You won't believe what she packed for me.  She put all this lingerie in here for me to wear."

Chris edged his way back into the room, "Let me see."

Eve shut her suitcase, "No way."

Chris came over to her and reached past her to pull out one of the aforementioned articles of clothing from her luggage but Eve turned and playfully pushed him aside.  Chris lost his balance and grabbed Eve as they fell together on the bed.  Chris said, "I like trying to find out things about you Lambert."  He leaned in to kiss her.

"Chris, wait a minute,"  Eve managed to say to him as she slightly pulled back from his embrace.

Eve, is something wrong?  I don't want to pressure you but I just can't help myself when I am around you."  He brushed her hair from her eyes, "You drive me crazy Lambert."

Eve touched his face, "Chris we need to talk about some things before something else happens between us and we lose control of the situation."

Chris sensed how serious she was by the look on her face.  He got up from the bed and pulled her up after him.  "Well, let's go talk."  He took her hand and led her to the deck so they could begin their conversation.

Chapter 24

Eve was so nervous that she was actually shaking as Chris guided her to sit down in one of the chairs on the deck.  He sat down in a chair facing her and took both of her hands into his and said, "Eve, what is going on?  You are shaking.  You don't have to be nervous around me.  It's just me, your buddy."

"Chris, I've got to tell you something and I'm afraid you are going to be so upset with me after I say it."

A look of concern crossed over Chris' features, "You know you can tell me anything.  Is this about my letter to you Eve?  I didn't know what else to do but to try and write down my feelings for you.  I had kept everything bottled up inside me for so long that I had to tell you.  If you don't feel the same way ..."

Eve took one of her hands away from Chris and covered her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling, "Chris, it isn't about that."

Chris reached up to her hand that was shielding her face and brought it back down to reveal her tears, "Then tell me what it is Eve?  You are starting to worry me."

Eve bit her lip, then started to tell him, "I don't know how to say this.  I've kept this secret for so long that it is hard for me to even say it out loud."

Chris moved over closer to her and asked, "Eve what is the secret that you are talking about?"

"Chris, you remember the night when I called you when Ian and I were broken up and I went over to your apartment?"

Chris nodded, "Of course I remember that night.  That was the night we reconnected as friends, we had martinis, laughed, talked and ..."

Eve finished his sentence for him, "we made love for the first time together."

"Eve, I couldn't ever forget that night.  I knew you were in love with Ian, but I had wanted you for so long that it didn't matter to me.  I had my one chance to love you and I took it even if it didn't mean anything to you."

"It did mean something to me Chris.  I don't know how everything got to be so crazy and why we tried to act like that night never happened between us."

"I know I should have told you how I felt about you, but I just couldn't Eve.  After you went back to Ian it broke my heart.  I still wanted you so badly."

"Chris, I shouldn't have been so stubborn about Ian."

Chris sighed, "You couldn't help who you loved Eve.  I wanted so desparately for you to love me but I knew how you felt about him.  I just took what little you offered to me that night.  Later on after you found out you were pregnant with Ian's baby, I tried to be there for you.  I understood that you wanted to be with the father of your child instead of me, but I would have been willing to raise Madison as my own, if Ian hadn't of came back to you.  I still can't believe he was such a fool to let you go."

"Chris, the real reason Ian left me was partly because I wouldn't marry him either."

"That was the one thing that has puzzled me since the night you told me that you didn't get married to Ian.  Why didn't you want to marry him Eve?  I thought you were in love with him and you said he was your soulmate.  I don't understand if you had the chance to be with him why you didn't take it."

Eve let out a shaky breath and pushed her hair back, "Chris, I was further along in my pregnancy than what I originally thought when you gave me the results of my pregnancy test."

Chris' eyes widened, "Eve, I went with you to Dr. Francine and she didn't say anything about your due date being closer than what you thought it would be.  What are you saying to me?"

Eve quietly said, "I went back for my first ultrasound to see if everything was going fine with the baby and when the lab technician did the test it showed how many weeks I was pregnant.  I was shocked when she told me how far along I actually was in my pregnancy.  I mean I had been so sure that Ian was the father of Madison, but after I had the ultrasound done and talked with Dr. Francine, I realized that the dates went back to the time that you and I spent the night together.  I didn't get back with Ian until the month after our night together."

Chris backed up slightly from her, "Oh my God!  Why didn't you tell me this?  Didn't you think I had a right to know if I might be the father of Madison?  Eve, how could you not tell me something as important as this?"

"Chris, I swear as soon as I found out I went straight to tell you about it."

Chris' voice accusingly asked her, "Well, why didn't you tell me then?  Did you decide that Ian was a better man to be a father in a child's life instead of me?  I wasn't good or noble enough to help raise a child by your standards?"

Eve broke down crying, "No!  I never thought that for a minute Chris.  You want to know what happened?  I went to tell you everything and you were gone! I went to your apartment and it was completely empty.  No trace of you anywhere and no way to get in touch with you.  I called the hospital and Alan confirmed that you had resigned and left no forwarding address for anyone and a stipulation that you didn't want to be contacted by anyone in Port Charles.  After I realized you were gone, I fell apart right there in the middle of your empty apartment.  You left me without so much as a goodbye.  I was totally devastated that you left town.  Ian tried to figure out what was going on with me, why I was so upset that you had left, but I wouldn't tell him the reason I was so distraught.  He kept after me to marry him, but I couldn't marry him with the knowledge that I thought I was having your baby, not Ian's.  One night we got into a huge argument and I told him the truth.  Ian accused me of having an affair with you behind his back.  He told me I didn't know what love was if I had resorted to the likes of you in my life.  I defended you to him and guess what he left me too."

Chris sank down to the floor of the deck and held his head in his hands for a few minutes trying to absorb what Eve had just told him.  He looked back up to her with tears in his eyes, "I didn't know Eve.  Oh God, I wouldn't have ever left Port Charles if I had of had any idea that the baby you were carrying could have been mine instead of Ian's.  Eve you were so convinced that it was his baby and you were in love with him.  I should have told you how much I loved you instead of trying to convince you that I was doing you a favor as a friend.  I didn't think my telling you of my true feelings for you would make any difference to you.  After I couldn't change your mind that day at the cabin when I asked you one more time to marry me, I made up my mind to go.  I'm so sorry Eve.  I didn't know."

"I'm sorry too.  I was going to try and tell you this past weekend but I couldn't get the courage up to tell you.  Please forgive me.  I never meant to hurt you like this Chris."  Eve got out of the chair and knelt down beside Chris on the floor.  He had turned away from her so she wouldn't see him cry.  She placed her hands on his face to turn him back to face her.  When she saw the pain etched on his face it made her cry even harder.  She moved to embrace him and they slowly rocked back and forth as they shared their pain together of all the lost time and miscommunication that had taken place between them.

All This Time
Chapter 25
 
 
The sky had turned a dusky purple as the last rays of the sun left the sky and Chris couldn't recall how long he and Eve had sat on the floor of this deck holding on to one another.  His mind was spinning with all the implications of Eve's confession to him.  One thing for certain was that he needed some time to go sort out his options.  He was not in control of his emotions at the moment and he desparately needed to find some quiet place where he could go and think.  He managed to pull away from Eve and say, "I've got to have some time alone Eve."  He walked off the deck onto the sandy beach.
 
Eve watched him slowly walk away from her.  She had seen Chris in so many different situations during the time they had known one another, this was one of the few times she had ever seen him so visibly shaken by something.  She was at a loss herself for what to do now.  She had never meant to hurt him by telling him about Madision.  Why were things always so complicated between them?
 
She had been satisfied with being a good mother to Madison and her work at the hospital.  Granted, she was lonely sometimes.  The loneliness she could deal with, that is, until Chris had stepped back into her life and made her realize he had been the one person she had been so lonely for.  He was the man she had been searching for and it was past time that she finally admitted that fact to herself.
 
She knew in her heart that she loved Chris.  She had loved him for a long time but she had never been willing to open up her heart to him.  She hadn't wanted to mess up their special friendship, so she had pushed him away instead time after time when he got too close to her.  She had been so foolish in her decisions regarding men.  She realized now that she had to tell Chris what he meant to her while she still had the chance.  She took a deep breath and readied herself to face him after what had happened between them this evening.  She took off in search of him before she lost her resolve and backed out from telling him her true feelings.
 
Chris was glad he hadn't encountered anyone on his solitary walk on the beach.  What was he going to do with the knowledge that in all likelihood he was Madison's father?  Now more than ever he didn't want Eve walking away from him when he felt they could be a real family.  He was so afraid to get his hopes up about being a family with Eve and Madison.  He had wanted Eve in his life for so long that he couldn't remember not being in love with her.  The problem was that no matter how hard he tried, he knew Eve wasn't in love with him.  Although Eve had surprised him by coming down here he still had no clue as to her actual feelings for him.
 
He sat down on the beach and watched the waves roll into the shore as the wind picked up speed.  He had so many regrets in his life.  Now he saw for the first time how his leaving had impacted Eve's life too.  One of the few times he had tried to do the right thing and it had ended up being the wrong choice for both of them.  Why was fate so cruel when it came to them?  Maybe Eve and Madison would both be better off without him in thier lives.  Maybe he should spare them both more heartache down the road by trying to keep her at arm's length now.
 
Eve finally spotted him along the shoreline sitting on the beach.  She was determined that she was going to tell Chris what was truly in her heart even if he didn't want to hear it right now.  She made her way unnoticed by him until she sat down beside him.  
 
Chris glanced at her questioningly, "What part of I needed to be alone didn't you understand Eve?  I can't think straight right now."  He raked his hands through his hair and turned back to face the ocean.
 
"Chris, please I need to tell you something else before I lose my nerve," she reached out to touch him.
 
"What else could you possibly have to say to me?  Don't you think your admission back at the house was enough for me to take for one day?" His voice sounded so cold and uncaring to her request as he continued to stare out into the sea.  
 
"Chris, please you have to hear me out, if you still want me to leave you alone after this, then I promise to go."
 
"You've always done whatever you wanted to Eve, so I don't see why now would be any different.  Just say what you have to say,"  he said his words carefully trying to maintain a measured indifference to her.
 
He wasn't going to make this easy for her at all.  Well, she be damned if she would walk away from him now without telling him how much she loved and needed him in her life.  She moved in front of him so he couldn't ignore her. When she met his eyes, he looked so hurt, lost and alone.  "Chris, I have been such a fool for so long now. I had failed to see the love you had for me all along.  Maybe I caught glimpses of it, but I couldn't face the fact that you could really care about me since you knew the real me.  How could anyone love me when they knew all the terrible things I had done in my life?  Most people always left after I gave them my heart.  No matter what I done though, you always stood by me, being the best friend a person could ever have in life.  I think I was scared more than anything that if I let you into my heart that I would lose you.  So I kept you locked out of my heart and in the end I lost you anyway.  You leaving town was my fault, not yours."
 
"Eve, you don't have to do this.  I understand you don't feel the same way about me that I feel for you."
 
She blinked back her tears, "No, I do have to do this Chris."
 
"Eve, please I can't stand to hear you tell me how you only want to be friends with me.  Please leave me with some shred of dignity left," he started to get up to leave her when Eve tugged him back down to sit on the beach.
 
"Please don't leave me again Chris.  I need you in my life.  Can't you see how important you are to me?"
 
He shakily replied, "It hurts to much to have you in my life Eve.  Do you have any idea how much I want you to love me, to be the man who makes all your dreams come true?  I go to bed at night and I dream about you.  I still think about you all of the time wishing that things could have been different between us.  I thought that after I left I would eventually get over my feelings for you.  Look at me, four years later and I still haven't gotten over wanting you.  I want you so badly that I ache for you."
 
"Chris, I do love you.  I'm sorry it has taken me so long to let go of my fears and let my heart admit what it has felt for you for so long.  I don't want to be the cause of you being hurt.  Can you give me a chance to give my love to you?  I'll do anything it takes to make things right between us.  You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I don't want to lose you again.  I can't go back to not having you in my life."
 
He searched her face, "You really mean that Eve?  You love me?"
 
She nodded as the tears fell down her face, "I mean it with my whole heart.  I love you Christopher Ramsey."
 
He pulled her to him, "You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words from you."
 
She cupped his face in her hands, "Well, I've read those words from you in your letter to me, but I have yet to hear them from you."
 
He gave her a sweet smile, "I love you Eve.  I always have from the day I met you and I always will love you until the day I die."  His lips found hers as he began to kiss her.  Eve leaned in closer to him as he tenderly molded his mouth over hers.  There was such an exquiste gentleness in his kiss to her.  She felt weak as she placed one hand on his chest for support.  He pulled back and gazed into her eyes.  Eyes that reflected the same love that he felt for her.  He rose and gently pulled her up with him.  She entertwined her hand in his and they began to make their way back to the house together. 
 
 
 
 

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