ALL THIS TIME

Chapter 16-20
 

Chapter 16

Chris rained kisses on her mouth and cheeks.  His kisses were ones of long denied feelings and passion towards her.  He kissed her as if he would never be able to get enough of her to satisfy him.  Eve's head was spinning from the onslaught of passionate kisses that Chris was giving to her.  He moved to her neck and began to kiss her feverently there.  Eve rolled her head to give him better access to her, as she ran her fingers through his thick hair enjoying the way it felt in her hands.

Eve began to pull at his shirt, unbuttoning it to slide her hands upon his muscular chest.  Chris returned his mouth to hers and they started to kiss one another hungrily.  Eve ran one hand down his stomach trailing to the top of his pants.  Chris drug himself away from her touch.  His breath was ragged as he told her, "Eve, we need to stop this before it goes any further.  We are nearing the place of no return and I won't be able to quit kissing you, touching you, wanting to feel your body next to mine.  My restraint is almost gone and I don't want to take advantage of you."

Eve reached out to touch him again.  "I know you are not taking advantage of me.  I don't want you to stop Chris."

He stared at her unsure as how he should react to her simple admission to him.  He wanted her more than anything he had ever wanted in his life, but there was so much more they needed to tell one another.  "Eve, I don't think .."

Eve put a finger to his lips to silence him and whispered, "Shhh, Let's don't talk about anything else right now.  All I want to do is shut out the world around us for one night.  Let's just forget all of our responsibilities and obligations to everyone even if it is only for a short time.  Will you do that for me Chris?  I want to be with you tonight.  Please don't deny me this."

Knowing it was against his better judgement, he agreed to her request.  "Eve, how could I deny you anything?  I want to be with you so much that I can't stand it."  He got up and pulled her to her feet and led her to the bedroom.  For one long second he looked at her with the saddest expression and then it was gone and all she saw was the longing in his eyes for her.  "Tonight you are mine, " he whispered hoarsely and then his mouth claimed hers.  There was nothing left of restraint or composure in his actions as he began to lay seige upon her senses.

He laid her down on the bed with one arm beneath her, as his other hand reached between them and he took her shirt off exposing her lingerie to him.  With a quick motion he undid her bra and tossed it aside.  He looked down at her, smiled, and lowered his head to her breasts.  He licked one nipple as it hardened under his ministrations.  He went to the other one and repeated his actions.  He drew her deep into his mouth, eliciting a gasp from Eve.  Her back arched to him as she silently offered more of herself to him.

The sound of her pleasure sent him to divest of his shirt and go to the waistband of her skirt pulling it along with her panties down around her.  She reached for the button of his pants and quickly unbuttoned them enabling him to take them off as well.  He came back to her covering her with his body and his lips found hers once more.  His mouth was sweet and tender to her as he placed one knee in between her legs.  His fingers found her woman's place and caressed her gently.  She jerked slightly at his touch and the movement brought his fingers deeper within her.  She started trembling as the sensations swept over.  She moaned at his touch but it wasn't enough.  She grasped his member and guided him to her.

He paused for a second at her entrance before saying, "This is madness Eve.  I want things from you that I can never have."

She pleaded with him, "I want you, Chris.  I need you.  Please don't stop now.  I couldn't bear it if you did."

He pushed into her and filled her, he held still momentarily with his arms barely trembling until he began to move inside her.  He retreated and returned to her again.  Nothing had ever felt so good to him as he pushed again into her hot depths with another long and slow thrust.  Eve matched his intensity as he rocked into her.  She lifted her hips to join him further as they began their dance of love.  She reached up to him and kissed him never losing contact with his body.  She whimpered as her release came to her in shattering waves that shook her to the very core of her being.  Chris drove into her once more as a deep shudder racked through his body.  His head fell against her shoulder, then he turned and cradled her body next to his.

The early hours of the morning were dawning but Chris still would not give into the luxury of falling asleep.  He had held Eve in his arms all night long savoring the precious moments that he had just watching her sleep so peacefully.  He felt so torn by his desire to stay here with her and the knowledge than even though last night with her had been incredible, Eve still didn't know that he loved her.  Realizing what he had to do, he carefully eased out of the bed so he wouldn't disturb her slumber and went to do one of the hardest things he would ever have to do in his entire life.

The shafts of light filtered into the room awakening Eve from her restful sleep.  She stretched out her arms and rolled over anticipating seeing Chris this morning.  A flush crept over her face as the memories of last night came rushing back into her mind.  She was astounded at the way things turned out between the two of them.  Even though she was still hesitant about telling Chris what she suspected about Madison all along, she knew she had to find the courage to tell him.  She just hoped that he would understand why she hadn't told him sooner.  She reached over the find him missing from beside her.  Slowly sitting up, she pulled the sheet up to cover her body while she scanned the room for Chris.

She noticed his shirt lying on the floor where it had fallen last night.  She bent down and retrieved it, putting it on herself as she walked out into the living room.  She called out to him, "Chris, where are you?  I thought I would wake up to find you snuggled up next to me in bed."  The silence grew in the hotel suite as she didn't receive a reply from Chris.  "Chris are you here?" 

She turned to go into the kitchen when she spotted the note addressed to her sitting on the counter.  Frowning, she took the note and went to sit down on the couch to read it's contents.  Her hands shook slightly as she withdrew the letter from the envelope and began to read.

Eve, 

By the time you are reading this letter, I will be gone.  Before you jump to conclustions as to why I took this course of action, I'll try my best to explain my behavior to you.  Hopefully you will understand why I did this.

For once in my life I am going to be completely honest and reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to you.  I have kept so much from you for fear of your rejection of me, that in the process of doing so, I have denied my heart's true feelings for you.

Do you remember the day we met?  That day is one I will never forget because I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on you my life would never be the same.  I thought, here is my kindred spirit, someone who is strong, independent and not afraid to do whatever it takes to make it to the top.  I realized how lucky I was to have you as a friend.  You know, you were the only true friend I had.  No one else mattered to me, but somehow you managed to invade my hardened heart.

I had vowed never to fall in love.  There was no way I was going to let you have the upperhand in our relationship, so I watched you go from Scotty, to Kevin and finally to Ian.  Do you have any idea how hard is was for me to stand by patiently and pray that one day you would see me in another capacity besides being your best friend?  I just tried to be there for you when you needed someone, as you tried to convince yourself you had found the perfect man for you each time.

I'll answer the question you asked me the other night that I refused to answer for you.  The real reason I left Port Charles without saying a word to you.  When you found out you were pregnant and Ian was off saving the world, I thought now is my chance.  I really believed that I could convince you to give me a shot at making you happy.  In hindsight, I realize now that I should have told you how much I loved you instead of acting like I was doing you a favor so you wouldn't have to raise your child alone.  I went about things the wrong way once again because I knew you didn't harbor the same feelings for me in your heart.  I knew you were in love with Ian.  I guarded my secret from you so you wouldn't know the love I felt for you went beyond just being friends.  I had fallen in love with you from day one, but I never let you know the depths of my feelings for you.  When I left I thought that you were going to marry Ian.  I left because I loved you enough to let you go and find your happiness with the man you loved.  I guess that is kind of hard for you to believe coming from me, but it's the truth.  It was probably one of the few unselfish things I ever did here in Port Charles, but your happiness was worth it to me.

I didn't think I would ever return here but Anne convinced me to work things out with Jack so we could try and be a family again.  I was so taken aback to see you once more.  Seeing you brought me back to the harsh realization that I am in love with someone who will probably never love me back in the same way.  I sound like one of those hopeless romantics that I always used to make fun of when we used to hang out together. Isn't it ironic that the one woman I want more than anything else in the world is the one woman who is always just out of my grasp?

Last night went above and beyond my expectations of getting to spend time with you.  Can't you feel the magic we share with one another Eve?  Never in my life has someone affected me as you have.  This time I can't deny my heart any longer.  I want you to know once and for all that I love you Evelyn Rae Lambert with my whole heart.  I should have told you this last night, but I got caught up in the heat of passion and all thoughts of reason evaded me when I held you in my arms. 

Now that you know what my true feelings for you are, you have to make a decision about where things go from here.   I can't be just friends with you any longer.  I'm not one for making promises but I can promise you that if you gave me the chance I would spend the rest of my life trying to make you and Madison happy.  But you have to be willing to open up your heart to me for this to be possible.  If you let me I could give you all the love you have been searching for your entire life.

The simple truth of the matter is this, I am basically giving you an ultimatum.  I want it all from you or nothing at all.  If you want me you will have to come to me this time.  Whatever you decide I will respect your decision.  I can't go on living with false hope, so I need for you to be honest with me about your feelings.  If you decide I'm not the man who can make all of your dreams come true, than please leave me alone so I can try to go on with my life without you in it.  No matter what you decide, just remember this, whether you come to me or not, I will always love you Eve.

Chris

Eve dropped the letter as tears streamed down her face.  She recalled the times they had shared with one another over the years.  She saw now through his letter to her that he had hid the real man from her.  Chris had been so complex in his actions towards her that she had failed to see the vulnerable side of him.  He was a man in need of love and understanding.  It finally dawned on her that she had known it all along, but had been too blind to see it.  She had wasted so much time searching for her soulmate while Chris had been patiently waiting for her all this time to realize that is was him.  Chris was the one she had been looking for all along.
 

Eve finally made it back to her apartment a few hours later, after pulling herself back together.  The past few days had been so emotionally charged that she felt drained mentally.  She walked into her apartment only the be harrassed by her sister before she could even get all the way into her place.

"Late night?", Shelly inquired, as she sipped her mug of steaming coffee.

Eve cast her a look of complete disdain before saying, "Shelly, now is not the time for this discussion.  I've got to be at the hospital and ready for work in less than an hour."

"Oh no, I can't believe it,"  Shelly quipped as she moved in to examine her sister's features more carefully.

Eve questioned her sister and she eyed her suspiciously,  "You can't believe what?  What are you staring at me for?" 

"You got the look,  last night was supposed to be my wedding night, but I think you were the one that got some instead of me."

"Shelly, mind your own business!"  Eve exclaimed as she headed towards the bathroom.

Shelly got in between Eve and the bathroom and threw her hand up to stop her.  "The hospital will just have to wait for a few minutes.  I'm you sister and you better give me all the juicy details.  I mean this is the first time I've known you to stay out all night with a guy since I moved here.  What happened with Chris?"

"Recap of the night for you.  Let me see, we went to Jake's, then to his hotel suite,  got drunk, slept together and the biggest highlight of the episode of course was waking up this morning to find that Chris had disappeared on me.  Is that enough details for you?  Let me get by, I've got to get ready!"  Eve snapped at her as she tried to make her way around her sister once again.

Shelly took Eve by the arm and let her to the kitchen table.  She pulled out a chair and commanded, "Sit down Eve.  You need to talk about this with me."

Eve shrugged her shoulders, "What else is there to say?  I let my heart overrule my head once more and now I have chaos in my life.  I cannot afford to let Madison down by not being able to handle things."

Shelly responded, "Eve, you are a great mother to Madison.  I don't think you are supposed to live a life of celibacy just because you didn't marry Madison's dad.  You can't help it because Ian left you to raise Madison alone.  Granted, I didn't know him but what kind of man would leave before his own child was born anyway?"

Eve tiredly replied, "Shelly, Ian wasn't a bad man.  He was good and kind and noble ...."

Shelly cut her off before she could finish her sentence.  "Eve, what is good and noble about a man who doesn't even take responsibilty to help raise his own child?"

"It was a complicated situation.  Ian left because he couldn't accept the fact that Madison might not be his child."

Shelly implored of Eve, "Excuse me, what did you just say?  I thought you just said that Ian might not be Madison's father.  If Ian isn't the father of Madison, then who is?"

Eve started crying softly and sighed, "If I tell you this Shelly, you have to promise me you won't say anything about this to anyone."

Shelly took her hand, "I promise.  You know that I would never betray your confidence Eve."

"This is hard to say since I haven't ever told anyone about all of this.  Ian and I had a difficult relationship.  We had some many obstacles, something or someone was always trying to come between us.  We both had other people in our lives at different times too.  Ian married a girl that desparately needed his help and I thought that I would go crazy because we couldn't be together.  So one night, I got fed up being alone and I called up one of my buddies.  I was tired of playing second to everything that was going on in Ian's life, so I decided to drown my sorrows and go out and raise some hell.  I called the perfect companion to escape my dreary existence and we let things get out of hand.  One thing led to another and we ending up sleeping together.  Ian and I worked things out and we made love about a month later.  He promised me that he wouldn't be married to Arianna much longer.  Then Arianna was stabbed and we broke up with one another again.  A few weeks later I found out that I was pregnant.  I just knew the baby had to be Ian's.  I didn't even consider that is wasn't  his child for a moment."

"Well how did you figure out that Madison might no be his child then?"

"The first time I went to the gynecolgist for a checkup everything was fine but I couldn't tell Ian I was pregnant because he was so wrapped up in saving Arianna.  We were both so consumed with guilt about sleeping together the night Arianna got stabbed.  I left town to sort things out and eventually Ian came to find me.  Arianna got better and he and I were finally able to be with one another.  I was able to tell him about the baby and he was estatic.  He convinced me to come back to Port Charles with him."

"Eve, this doesn't make sence to me.  If you came back to town together...."

Eve tucked her  hair behind her ear and said, "I went back for my next visit and the doctor did an ultrasound.   It revealed that I was further along in my pregnancy than I originally thought, so it could have been possible for me to get pregnant the night I spent with none other than Chris Ramsey.  My best friend in the world.  I was in a state of shock."

Shelly asked her, "Chris Ramsey?  You mean you never told Chris that he might be Madison's father?  How could you keep something like that from him?  Even if you were just friends, Chris had a right to know."

Eve explained, "As soon as I found out I went straight to tell him about what I suspected, but when I went to his apartment he was gone.  He left town without so much as even a goodbye to me.  I had no clue he was considering leaving Port Charles.  I was devastated when I realized he was gone.  I didn't know what to do.  I was a wreck emotionally and Ian knew something was wrong with me even though I wouldn't admit to anything.  Ian kept pressing the issue of getting married and I kept saying that I wasn't ready yet.  One night we got into a terrible argument about waiting to get married and I blurted out to him what had happened between Chris and I.  I told Ian that Chris might be the baby's father instead of him.  Ian and Chris couldn't stand one another and Ian couldn't accept the truth.  He said I didn't love him if I wouldn't be his bride.  I wasn't sure what to do and I couldn't marry him without telling Chris about everything.  So Ian left me too.  See, when I try to follow my heart it just leads to heartache not happiness."

"Eve, why didn't you tell me about this when I came to live here?"

"What could you have done Shelly?  Do you think I was proud of the fact that I slept with two different men and didn't really know who Madison's father could be?  The only people that knew Chris and I slept together were the two of us.  It was easier to let everyone assume that Ian was the father and I didn't have to answer questions that weren't anyone's business.  The sad part about all of this is that if Chris had known he wouldn't have gone.  He wanted to marry me when I decided I couldn't tell Ian about the baby, but I turned Chris down.  Madison and I would have had such a great life with him.  He begged me to give him a chance, but I was in love with the great Ian Thornhart and I wouldn't listen to Chris."  Eve pulled out the letter from Chris and handed it to Shelly.  "If you want to know what a fool I have been all these years, just read this letter.  I could have had everything I ever dreamed about if I hadn't of been so stupid and blind to the man who really cared about me.  I've got to call the hospital because I'm definately going to be late now."

Shelly took the letter and read it while Eve made her call and ran to the shower to get ready for work.  After Shelly read Chris' heartfelt confession to Eve she knew what she had to do.  Shelly picked up the phone to call Karen.  "Karen, I've got a huge favor to ask of you."

Alison knocked on the front door to the lighthouse hoping to be able to locate her best friend.  She had went to Livvie's apartment only to find no one at home.  She was so concerned about Livvie since their conversation that had taken place the other day between them.  Alison was greeted by Kevin at the door.

"Dr. Collins, is Livvie here?  I went by her apartment to see her, but she wasn't there."

Kevin smiled at his daughter's best friend.  Alison coming to see her would be just what Livvie needed today.  "Come on in Alison.  Livvie is upstairs in her old room.  Do you want me to go and get her for you?"

"If you don't mind, may I go up and see Livvie?  I thought she might like to have some girl talk with me."

"Sure, go on up.  If you need anything, Lucy and I will be around here someplace."

"Thank you Dr. Collins,"  she said as she walked up the stairs to Livvie's old room.  Alison pushed the door open to Livvie's room since it was slightly ajar.  She found Livvie out on the terrace sitting in a chair with her arms wrapped around her legs.

Alison went and sat in a chair beside her.  "Hey girlfriend.  What is going on with you?  You look kind of tired.  Have you been up all night?"

Livvie nodded her head yes and sat staring out at the view the lighthouse had to offer her.  She finally turned her weary eyes to face Alison and softly said, "He didn't come for me."

"I'm sorry he didn't Livvie.  Can you please tell me what is going on with you?  Jamal and I have been worried sick about you."

"I'm pregnant Ali,"  Livvie broke down into tears.

Alison was trying not to look completely shocked by her best friend's revelation, "Oh Livvie, I had no idea that was what has had you so upset lately.  Why didn't you tell me?  Didn't you know that I would have been there for you?  I wouldn't judge you."

Livvie gave her an empty look before replying, "I wouldn't be so sure about not judging me.  I've done a terrible thing."

"Having a baby isn't a terrible thing.  It doesn't matter if you are married or not.  All that matters is that you love and care for your child.  Oh my God, is Jack the father?  That would explain what happened yesterday at the wedding.  We couldn't get anything out of Chris or Eve yesterday after they said there wasn't going to be a wedding."

Livvie gave a humorless laugh, "I happened at the wedding.  Dad, Lucy and I went in there and we told them I was pregnant.  I saw firsthand how my hatred of Shelly destroyed her wedding day.  It was awful with all of the fighting, but the worst part for me was seeing Jack begging Shelly not to go and how she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, not me.  In that moment I finally realized he didn't love me anymore."

"So that is what you meant by doing a terrible thing?"  Alison questioned her once more.

"The terrible thing I did was make Dad and Lucy believe that Jack was the father of my child.  When I told them that I was pregnant Dad totally lost it and we immediantly went to the chapel.  In the back of my mind, I knew that would happen and I let it because I thought that Jack would come back to me.  Jack already thought that we had slept together that night he passed out at my apartment.  Now I have lied so much I don't think I will ever be able to make things right.  Everyone is going to hate me for what I've done.  I should have listened to you Alison, but I was so stubborn.  When Jack finds out that I lied about him being the father of my child, he will hate me forever."

Alison hugged Livvie, "I don't agree with what you have done, but you have to know that I could never hate you.  You have been there for me so many times I've lost count and we are friends no matter what happens.  I will say this, you need to be honest with everyone and most importantly you have to tell Jack the truth.  If you really love him as much as you say you do, you have to tell him so he can go on with his own life."

"I just don't know if I can face him knowing what I have done."  Livvie spoke in between sobs.

Alison stood up and  said,  "I'll go with you to talk to him.  You don't have to do this alone." 
 

~~~~~~~~~~

Chris' mind had been in a state of turmoil ever since he had made the decision to leave Eve and come back home.  He had wandered aimlessly around his beach house trying to clear his mind of thoughts of her, but it was to no avail.  He had almost turned around and went back to her when he was at the airport, but he knew it had been the right decision to go.   He realized that he couldn't go on with this one sided relationship any longer.  Now came the difficult part of waiting to see what Eve would do now that she knew how he really felt about her.

He glanced down and saw that his answering machine flashing and hit the replay button.  The sultry voice on the message left on his machine played, "Chris, this is Cheri.  I wanted to let you know how much I missed you this weekend.  This town isn't nearly as fun without you around stirring up mischief.  Call me when you get home.  I'd love to see you.  Bye."

Chris knew he had to call Cheri and tell her that all he wanted to do was be friends with her.  While Cheri had been fun to be around, he had known all along that he had went out with her as a diversion to stop thinking about Eve.  After what had taken place this weekend with Eve, he couldn't settle for anything less than the woman he truly loved whether she came to him or not.
 

~~~~~~~~~
 

Alison and Livvie went to the bike shop together.  When they arrived, Alison called Jamal and asked him to call Jack and get him to meet all of them at the bike shop.  After she was finished making her arrangements she turned to Livvie who was looking uneasy.  "Hey Livvie, it is going to be ok.  Don't worry.  I know Jack might not understand what you did but at least you will be able to get this guilt off of your chest.  All this worrying can't be good for the baby."

"Ali, I'm sorry I drug you into this mess.  You have been such a good friend to me.  A friend I don't truly deserve, but I'm so glad that you are here.  I don't know if I could face Jack if you weren't here."

"You can face anything Livvie if you will be honest with yourself and everyone else.  I have one more question for you though."

Livvie nervously paced around the room than asked, "What do you want to know Ali?"

"Are you going to tell the real father of your baby that you are carrying his child?"

Livvie pondered the question before offering up, "I don't know.  Do you remember Josh?"

"The good looking guy that was in your study group last semester at school?  Who could forget him?  He was fine.  So I guess he was more than a study partner?"  Alison raised an eyebrow at Livvie as she posed her last question to her.

"Yeah, Josh was so good to me.  He helped me out when I was hurt about Jack.  We had been friends ever since I started med school.  Josh told me he cared about me, but I wouldn't give up on trying to find ways to win Jack back.  The last straw for him was the night he found out about Jack staying over at my apartment.  Josh couldn't believe I would throw away our chance at love for a man who didn't care about me.  I was so oblivious to Josh because I was so certain Jack was going to come back to me."

Their conversation was interrupted by the door opening as Jamal and Jack entered into the shop.  Livvie looked down at the floor not ready to face Jack yet.  Alison nudged Livvie, "It's going to be ok Livvie.  You can do this."

Livvie nodded, "You're right.  Hey Jack."

Jack came over to Livvie, "Hey Livvie, we really need to talk.  I'm sorry I didn't come by yesterday but . . "

"Please don't apologize.  I'm the one who should be doing that."  Livvie told him with tears glistening in her eyes.

"Livvie, what do you mean?"  He searched her face trying to read what was on her mind.

"Let's go sit down.  I have some explaining to do."  She took Jack's hand and led them to a bench they both could sit down on.
 

~~~~~~~~~~
 
 

Chris pulled up at the park he had called Cheri to meet him at.  She was already there sitting on a picnic table waiting for him.  She gave him as dazzling smile as he came towards her.  As usual she was dressed impeccably and looked like she had stepped off of a model's runway.  Her beauty had been one of her various charms she had used on Chris to interest him in the first place.  She was the total opposite of Eve in looks, mannerisms, etc..  Chris had never wanted anyone to remind him of Eve so he generally sought out women who were completely different from her.  Looking at Cheri now he felt a pang of guilt because she had no clue he was about to break things off with her.

Cheri looked at him as he sat down beside her on the picnic table top.  "Why did you want us to meet here Chris?  I would have been glad to come over to your house if you didn't feel like driving all the way to my condo."

"Cheri, I've got to tell you something that I don't really know how to say without sounding like a jerk."

Cheri looked puzzled, "This doesn't sound good.  What is going on with you Chris?  Are you mad because I couldn't go with you to your brother's wedding?  If something is wrong, you know I know just how to get you fixed up."  She leaned over to kiss him.

Chris backed away from her, "Cheri don't."

"Chris, what's wrong?  Have I done something to offend you?"

Chris shook his head, "It's not you Cheri.  It's me.  I think we should step back and cool things off between us.  I'm not ready to get into a serious relationship right now with you.  We said when we first started seeing one another that we were just going to have some fun.  I can tell you are starting to want something more from me and I just can't give it to you."

She cut her eyes to him, "You can't be serious.  We are so good together."

"I'm serious Cheri.  You deserve someone who is going to love you and I don't ever forsee that I will feel that way about you.  I've had fun but I don't want anything else.  I'm sorry if I led you on hoping something else would come out of our time together.  I just want us to be friends, nothing more."

Cheri jumped off of the table to directly face him, "Chris, I don't know what has brought this sudden turn around on, but you need to reconsider what you are saying to me.  Are you ready to give up on everything we have?"

"Cheri, having good sex doesn't constitute being in love with one another.  I don't want to use you and it's not fair to you when you deserve more than I can ever offer you."

She looked as if she had been slapped, "I feel pity for you that you are letting the best thing that will ever happen in your life slip out of your grasp.  I never pictured you for a fool.  You'll regret letting me go Chris."  She turned and got into her car  then sped off, leaving Chris sitting there thinking of her parting words to him.

"Livvie, I hate what you tried to do to me and Shelly, but I don't hate you.  How could I hate the person who taught me how to love in the first place?  I'll never forget what you meant to me.  You were my first love."

"You were mine too," she added trying to be brave and accept his words to her.  "I'm so sorry Jack.  Please forgive me for what I have done.  It was so wrong of me."

"I think in time I will be able to forgive what you did to me, but I have to tell you Livvie, you have royally screwed up my life.  I don't know how I am going to be able to get Shelly to forgive me for betraying her trust like I did by staying at your apartment that night.  As long as we are asking for forgiveness, I need to ask it of you too.  I kept giving you false hope whenever I didn't think things were going to work out for Shelly and me.  That was not the right thing to do to keep you hanging on the line waiting for me to come back to you.  We were both at fault for handling things wrong."

"I know that now Jack.  I want you to be happy even if I can't be the one person to do that for you." 

"Livvie, I believe that one day you will find the person who will be everything that you need.  I'm sorry I can't be that person in your life.  We have different roads to travel now.  You take care of yourself," Jack offered as he rose up to leave.

"I will.  You too."  She watched him walk away from her knowing in her heart that things would never be the same between them again after all the havoc she has caused wrecking Jack's wedding to Shelly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late in the evening when Eve finally came home from working her shift at GH.  She was met at the door by her sweet daughter and sister.  "Mommy, I'm so glad to see you.  Aunt Shelly let me stay up late to see you since I spent the night with Tanna and Tyler last night."

"Come here sweetie.  I need a great big hug from you.  I missed you so much.  Did you have fun?"  Eve took her daughter into her arms and hugged her tightly.

Madison threw her arms around Eve and kissed her on the cheek.  "I had a good time Mommy.  We played and played all night until we fell asleep on our sleeping bags.  Aunt Shelly came and picked me up today and we have had fun too."

"Now it's time for you to be in the bed little one.  You have already stayed up way past your bedtime."  Eve touched Madison's nose with her finger.  "Let's get you tucked into bed."

Eve took Madison into her bedroom and pulled down the covers on her bed.  Eve sat down on the edge of Madison's bed and leaned down to kiss her daughter goodnight.

"Mommy, will you sing our night-night song?"

"Ok, but you have to help me sing it."  Eve placed her hand on Madison's smaller one and held it while she began to sing their favorite lullaby.

Think of me everyday
Hold tight to what I say
Then you'll think of me
Even from far away
No matter where you are
It is never too far
If you think of me
I'll be with you

Eve smiled at her precious miracle, silently thanking God for bringing something so good and wonderful into her life.  She held her hand until she fell sound asleep into dreamland. Eve got up to go back into the living room to talk with Shelly for a few minutes.  She noticed that her suitcase was in the middle of the living room floor.  "Shelly, not that I mind, but why is my suitcase here in the living room floor?"

Shelly turned from the kitchen and came into the living room.  "Oh that, uh, well I've got an offer for you."

"What are you up to?  Forget I asked that question, I don't even want to know.  I'm so tired all I want to do is crawl into my comfortable bed, pull the covers over my head and fall asleep.  So if you don't mind, can we talk later?  I've got an extremely busy day tomorrow at work."

"No, this can't wait until later, I've done something that I hope you won't get mad at me for doing."  Shelly looked pensively at her sister as she handed her an envelope.

"I can't deal with any more letters today,"  Eve handed the envelope back to her sister.

Shelly in turn handed it right back to Eve again.  "Please open this and then I will try to explain what you find on the inside."

Eve opened the envelope up with an exasperated sigh and saw an airplane ticket enclosed within the confines of the envelope.  She curiously took the ticket out to examine it.  When she saw the destination written upon it she looked questioningly at her younger sister.

"Let me explain why you have that particular airline ticket in your hand right now."

"You've got my attention,"  Eve tapped the ticket against the palm of her hand waiting to see what kind of story Shelly was going to come up with this time.

"I got this brainstorm this morning that maybe it would be good for you to take a trip.  Kind of like a vacation, since you are always working so hard.  A little time for yourself, so to speak."   Shelly reached over past Eve and picked up the suitcase that was in the floor to place it in front of her.

"Is that so?  I have a slight problem with this brainstorm of yours.  I'm working all week so a vacation is out of the question."

"Well, you see, you are not working this week after all.  I spoke to Karen today and she had it all arranged so that you could be off.  She agreed with me that this would be a perfect week for you since you have hardly taken any time off this year."  Shelly fidgeted around with the suitcase strap wondering what Eve would say to her suggestion.

"Shelly, how could you do that?  What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking of you Eve.  All my life you have done so much for me.  You practically raised me since Mom was in another world most of the time doing God knows what with whoever came her way.  I want you to go and see if you and Chris have a chance for happiness.  I promise I'll take care of Madison.  Please take this ticket and go see what could happen.  I want you to see if you can find your happily ever after like we have always dreamed about."

"I should wring your neck for interfering in my personal life like this.  I love you dearly, but this is another crazy scheme you are trying to get me involved in."  Eve told her as she looked at the ticket one more time.

"It is not a crazy scheme Eve.  Crazy is you throwing away the opportunity presented before you.  Chris loves you and I think you love him too.  If you don't go to him, you will regret it the rest of your life.  You will always wonder what could have been if you don't take the chance to see for yourself."

Eve tucked her hair behind her ears, "I'm just not sure if I should go.  I'm scared Shelly.  What if I mess up Chris' life?  I've told you when I follow my heart it generally leads to destruction for everyone involved.  I don't want to hurt Chris.  He means too much to me."  Eve walked over to the window to peer out into the night sky.

Shelly followed her, "Don't let the one of the most wonderful things that could ever happen in your life pass you by because you are scared.  If I thought that Chris was going to hurt you or Madison, I wouldn't have done this at all.  But I believe in my heart that you should go to him.  I think he stated in no uncertain terms that he would not come for you.  You had to decide what you wanted and go to him."

"I shouldn't have let you read that letter,"  Eve commented to Shelly.  "You don't understand how complicated this whole situation is.  I can't go off and leave Madison to search for romance with Chris."

"Don't even try to give me that lame excuse. You know good and well that I will take the very best care of Madison while you are gone.  Please do this.  Eve, I know deep down that you want to go, you are just too stubborn to admit it."

"Shelly, I don't know..."

"There is no reason for not going that I haven't got a solution or can't take care of it for you."

"Oh really?"   Eve put her hands on her hips as she looked at her sister.

Shelly started counting the reasons on her fingers, "One, I will be here this week and take wonderful care of your little angel Madison.  Two, you are off of work for the entire week.  Three, your plane ticket is already bought and paid for by none other than your darling sister.  Four, I have your bags packed and ready to go.  Five, don't you just want to look into those amazing brown eyes that Chris has again?  Six, ..."

Eve held her hand up to stop Shelly, "Ok, ok, you have made your point.  If I don't go you will never quit bugging me about it anyway."

Shelly smiled a victorious smile, "I knew I could make you see things my way."

"Since I am going to go along with this scheme of yours.  You have to do one thing for me."  Eve added taking Shelly by the arms so she would face her.

"Name it.  I'll try to do my best to comply with your wishes big sister."

"You have to promise me to cut Jack some slack about this whole situation that you are both in and really listen to him when he comes to talk to you."

"If he does come to talk to me.  I made it pretty clear to him that I needed some time away from him."

"I think he will come around and when he does.."

"I promise not to slam the door in his face or cuss him out.  I'll hear him out only if you don't back out from going to see Chris."

"I'm going to go.  What time is my flight out of here?"  Eve asked as she made her way to the doorway of her bedroom.

"Tomorrow afternoon.  I booked your flight late in the day in case you gave me a hard time.  I couldn't judge how much time I would need to convince you that this is the right thing for you to do."

"I'm convinced.  Now I am going to collapse.  I'm exhausted."

Shelly offered up, "You need to get your rest.  I packed your vitamins too.  You'll probably need them to keep up your strength."

"For what?"  Eve asked then caught on the what Shelly was implying to her.

"I'm just saying if Chris is anything like Jack, then you'll need plenty of rest since ..."

Eve started laughing and pointed her finger at Shelly.  "Don't go there.  I don't want any explicit details of my little sister's sex life with Jack Ramsey.  Goodnight."  Eve shut the door to her bedroom falling onto her bed wondering what in the world she was about to get herself into going to see Chris Ramsey with the knowledge that he was in love with her.