One Shiny Happy Person Lives Here
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One Shiny Happy Person Lives Here

Ich bin Wienerschnitzel!

Now where did I leave that exit?

This website is now multi-lingual! For those of you who don't speak English, this page now comes in 12 different flavors.

  • Swedish Chef
  • Portugese
  • Jive
  • Spanish
  • Redneck
  • French
  • Elmer Fudd
  • Italian
  • Pig Latin
  • British
  • Moron
  • German

    Hello, , and welcome to my page, the stupidest, most incoherent garbled piece of trash ever to grace your computer screen. (You're impressed, admit it)

    Sorry about the pop-up ads, angelfire decided eveyone has to have them now.

    This page is pretty much just stuff I've stolen from other sites. Get over it.

    If you can think of or have anything to help it, email me.

    This is Red.

    Click here for dozens of naked chicks!!

    If you want to know how the pop up warnings work, look at the very bottom of the page source.

    This page hasn't really changed in about 6 years, I just go in and replace the really stupid crap with less stupid crap every once in a while. So if you think it looks it was made by a 9th grader, that's because it was.

    ...and her hair smells like froot loops.  Yeah? Well I eat froot loops for breakfast!
    My current Jezzball high score as of is:
    272671
    My previous high scores:
    237712
    237114
    234591
    223177
    202945
    197290
    195201
    190083
    187892
    185810
    184442
    183436
    170289
    150079
    149461
    124515
    107363
    100961
    96350
    93117
    ...and her hair smells like froot loops.  Yeah? Well I eat froot loops for breakfast!

    There are a lot of pictures on here, mainly because I don't have anything to say, and I need something to fill up space, so be patient alright?

    This page best viewed with:

    It's true you know.


    nothing special about this.

    Down Dino down! Down boy!Don't laugh! I know it's a bad picture. eek!! oh it's just me. phew!

    Alright, here are some more pictures of me.

    Awww, how cute was I!?!

    Ok, how about this one.

    Hey, you try to convince three girls to play something other than dressup!

    Well hey, at least I don't look like this freak...

    Weather Forecast for Tomorrow: Dark, followed by scattered light in the early morning, clearing up to full light by noon. Another dark front should hit in the evening, with toal darkness setting in tonight and persisting through until the next day. There might be a moon up. High probability of stars. There will probably be some wind and clouds, too. You never know.

    I got a new hit counter

    WE ONLY HARM the STUPID! The phone book is our hit list!! It's idiot-filled!

    When you're a kid you think you're father's superman, then you grow up and realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape...

    Tony: I was in Italy with a friend and this woman comes up and throws my friend a baby. Then when he caught it, her other kids ran up and took his wallet right out of his pocket. So let that be a lesson to you. If you're ever in Italy and someone tosses you a baby, just swat it. Swat it to the ground and say: "I DON'T THINK SO!"
    Dr. Katz: Good for you, Tony.
    Tony: I'm just trying to take a bite out of crime...


    Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle

    spacing text, ignore

    I created a javascript clock for my page, inspired by my vcr.

    Ok, I woke up this morning and this is what my clock looked like...

    Should I be scared?


    Go get your phone and call 1-888-888-6378


    "Id like to see how small a Tupperware container I could fit [Britney Spears'] dismembered body into."
    - Trent Reznor

    If you've been here before, you've probably noticed that all the crap that happens at the beginning of thee page happens every time you come back from a link, so to solve the problem, I put all the links on a seperate page, like I should have done in the first place. So there.

    Holy Crap! Look at all those links!

    And you've probably also noticed that all the comics that I used without permission are gone. Unless you didn't. Either way, fear not, I wasn't sued for copyright infringement, I just moved them to a seperate page too. So there.

    They're comics! HAHA! Funny!

    The comics are the most socially conscious part of this page. That's pretty sad.

    I remember one time my father was wearing pants, it must have been Thanksgiving...

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    Email me!  If you DARE!!!  Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

    We used to go on vacations every year. Five people packed in a car, windows rolled up, pretending we had air conditioning. My father would say:
    "Would ya look at that? How could people be so inconsiderate? Throwing away perfectly good lawn furniture."
    "Daddy, I don't think they're throwing it out. Their drinks are still on the table!"
    "They're throwin' it out! Get out of the car and get it! And get that barbecue set while you're at it."
    Later on I got burned:
    "AHHH!"
    "Put on the oven mitts before you grab that thing! Dump out those hot coals! Gimme that hot dog! GET WITH IT!"

    Think about it, have you ever seen them both at the same time? spacing text, ignore He's funny.

    Beefier living thru Chemistry

    The end. Or is it???? duh-duh-DUHHHHH!

    Yeah, I guess that was the end.