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PERSONALS
1.
Arrogant, Fat Middle-Aged Deputy Prime Minister
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John; 60
London, UK
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Fat, obnoxious, northern, pie-eating, rich, English bastard with an unlimited supply of Tax payers money seeks stupid empty headed secretaries to satisfy. My Limo awaits! Call 011-44-4559-78456891
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2.
One Beautiful, Bubbly, Bouncy, Beaver Herding Babe.
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Ronita; 29
Saliva Bridge, NB
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I'm a 31 year female beaver herder from Saliva Bridge, NB. Looking for a SW skinny M with mullet and goatee. I consider my appearance to be well built. I am 5"9 to 5"10 tall with a rock solid body. I have curly blonde ringlets, big brown bespectacled eyes and an olive and anchovie complexion. I like riding boats and horses. Meet me and see. No mullet, no goatee = no entry! Call 555-3443
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3.
Married Bachelor Seeks Help!
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Barty; Turnips Placentia, NFLD
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Constantly getting walloped over the head by the Wife's rolling pin. If I don't get my bouffant cut pronto she's gonna set a blow torch to it! If you like passive dentally challenged guys with wierd hair-do's please call! 555-7845
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4.
Same-Sex, Super-Swinger!
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Winnie; 50+,
Brent Spiner Apartment Complex, Moncton, NB
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Hot steamy female fifty-something Super-Swinger seeks same sex! Will you be next? Men - I'll share your Wife, Girlfriend, whatever. I like it blindfolded, upside down and chained up. But most of all I love kinky carrot-cake rubbing in it's most passionate form! Try me for free and I'll guarantee to get your motor running! Call: 555-2352
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5.
Oriental Fish Fantasy!
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Hung-Lee; 46, Yarmouth, NS
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Hello I am Hung. Yes that's me. I love Canadian women. I fish when I can and when I cannot I look on land. There are still plenty of fishy's in the sea but I want to catch one on land. I will be your 'plaise' if you'll be my 'haddock'. Call 555-7774
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6.
Hard To Please Asian-American Professional.
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Candy; 25, Los Angeles, CA
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Seeking a man, but don't respond if you are uneducated, unemployed, unhealthy, a felon, under 30 years old, 5'10", over 40 years old, 6'8", 230pounds, like cats, channel surfing, make less than $30,000 annually
or have body parts pierced/replaced. Others feel free. Call 555-1277
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7.
Fancy Some Wookie?
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Chewbacca; Kashyyyk, Off World
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Mature, hairy, mechanically minded 8ft male. Seeking SWM 40-something bounty hunter for exciting space encounters. Years of bodyguard experience and plenty of one on one intergallactic fun. Guaranteed to be YOUR number ONE! Call 555-3456.555-3253
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8.
When Not Pregnant, I Like The Bar Scene But Not Too Often
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Raquel; Dieppe, NB
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I'm warm and very feminine. I've got a nice face and have a pretty speaking voice. I used to be a lot fatter and will be again - I usually put on weight during pregnancy. At the moment I'm not sure what I'm looking for - I have six kids but I'd like some practice with dating - flirting - all those things I've not done due to one night stands etc. How does anyone manage it with so many kids? Call 555-2276
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9.
I Am Curious? Orange?
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Mark; Cruisers Creek, NS
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Skinny, flatulent, over 40, cigarette-smoking aggressive drunk Karaokee singer with facial ticks and tendrils seeks a nice rump sexy fat woman withbig hair to cook, clean and pick up my unemployment checks. Call 555-3490
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10.
Shellfish Sucking Latino Babe Looking For Love.
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Conchita; Los Testicolos, Mexico
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40-something, baggy chested, ball-busting drug-user seeks an average looking bald, medicated, depressive schizophrenic, 30-something for romantic nights of sex and shell-fish gorging. Call 555-8989
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11.
Seeking Monogamous White Dwarf With Freckles.
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Basil; Ottawa, ON
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Handsome OWM, (Old White Male) 55, seeks a loving, romantic SWD, (Single White Dwarf) with round, bulging bubble butt and pretty freckles to adhere to a strict Monogamous Mating System. Must be 28-48. Call Basil 555-8975
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12.
Bubbly Small Town Girl With Herpes.
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Celia; 21, West Chezzetcook, NS
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I would like to meet someone that is very outgoing and enjoys some but not all the things that I do because I realize it can lead to STD's. The person that will best fit me, is somebody that is very promiscuous and has a very straight point. Meaning.. They can belch in pubic so to speak! Call 555-7895.
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13.
Daft Disney Cartoon-Looking Twat.
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Robert; Los Angeles, CA
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Washed-up child actor from the states looking for straight or bi-women to feel sorry for me in my twilight years. Spent some time in the can for a crime I cannot remember authorizing. Not guilty anyway. Like acting tough. I'm a total pussy in real life (meow!) LOL! Er... give me a call. 555-7894
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14.
Share My Love With The Lord.
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Selina; 22; Halifax, NS
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I love God, and I know He loves every single one of his creations. I urge anyone who does not believe in God to go to a church and experience his love. I know some things might seem ridiculous or impossible but the bible says "For with God nothing will be impossible" Luke 1:37. I hope that one day everyone in the world will know of God's love and love Him in return. PS I'm a pretty good shag! Call 555-3456
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15.
ASS Magnet Alert!
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Wee Willie Winkle; Moncton, NB
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I WANT ASS - GIVE ME ASS!! LOTS OF ASS!! I WILL PAY YOU FOR YOUR KINKY FAT ASS!! I want your weiner on a side order of onions and relish too! OOH! You TEASE! Willing to travel for a mind blowing rack of RUMP! Call 555-2123
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| Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors. © Copyright 2002-2006 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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