Start of Another Draft
Topic: Start of Another Draft
Single parenting has to be a hardship under normal circumstances. It is becoming more and more common as well. People are even choosing to become single parents. This brings up issues dealing with daycare while the parent is at work, babysitting for social engagements, and healthcare considerations to name a few. The complication of children in the single’s market is no picnic. Many individuals simply don’t want ready-made families. The family is being re-defined.

The state of single parenting often is unexpected. The parents divorce, a parent dies, or an unplanned pregnancy complicates issues. There are many reasons for the rise in single parenting. Today, I’d like to tell you the story of a single parent. Many of us have god parents and we don’t think much about them. We pray that our own parents will live long and healthy lives and that we won’t need our god parents.

My neighbor, Mike was made god father to his nephew, Austin. When his sister died unexpectedly, Austin came to live with him. Austin’s father was not available and would not be a suitable father. Mike found himself with all the responsibilities of a single parent overnight. Most times, there is something of a conversion from a two-parent family to a one-parent family. Or, there is a pregnancy that hones in on the fact that things are going to change. In this case, Mike had an instant child. He didn’t have the pregnancy and birth to prepare him. Seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day, Mike had a child in his care.

Very Rough Draft
Topic: Very Rough Draft
One of my goals is to get something published in Chicken Soup. They pay for stories. One of their possible titles is Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul. I thought I might try to do Mike and Austin's story. I jotted it down today, but it needs lots of work. If you have any suggestions, please make them.

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I suppose Mike?s life was relatively normal for someone his age. He had a decent job and was taking classes when he could. He had a place to live and still saw his family as often as possible. He had a roommate, but could come and go as he pleased.

Things changed overnight for Mike. When his sister died suddenly, he was the godfather to her child. Austin was only two when his mom died. She had her wisdom teeth out during the afternoon. Several hours later, she died of cardiac complications. She had an undiagnosed heart condition that surfaced with the dental work. Since Austin?s father was not around, Mike stepped up to his responsibilities.

Starting in October, 2002, Mike and Austin became an inseparable pair. From the very beginning, Mike pursued the adoption of Austin. It was what his sister would have wanted. It was what Mike wanted. Austin thrived under Mike?s care. Austin would attend day care while Mike worked. Weekends seemed to be spent visiting various family members.

The adoption process becomes costly and lengthy. One would think the process would be easier for those adopting members of their own family. The adoption was to be finalized December, 2004. December became January and finally a hearing was scheduled. This hearing was accompanied by a surprise.

Austin?s father put in an appearance for the first time. He expressed an interest in his child. The father had been receiving notification of proceedings all along and never responded or sent a representative to speak for him. It was a very stressful day to say the least.

It seems the reason Dad never showed at any of the hearings was that he was incarcerated. When Austin was 22 months old, his father drop-kicked the child and caused severe injury. He was sentenced to four years in April of 2002. We are unsure how he was released after less than half of his sentence was served, but there he was. The court set a new hearing date for March 8, 2004. At this time, they would determine whether Dad would have any rights for visitation or custody.

There was always the possibility the court would rule in favor of the natural parent and grant custody to the father even if he almost killed the child. As far as everyone was concerned, the court should never have granted the request of the father. Fortunately, when the new hearing date came about, he didn?t show up. Instead, the court rescheduled the final adoption hearing right there and then and granted Mike full custody.

As unexpectedly as this whole ordeal started, it was over. Mike went from being an uncle to being a father in a matter of minutes. Austin is five years old now. The majority of his young life as been spent living with Mike. I doubt he remembers much of his mom. His dad always lived far, far away. When someone asked Austin where his father was, he would respond, ?Oh, Mike?s at work.?

I have no doubt there will be complications in this relationship. Mike is legally Austin?s father now but will accept any address Austin is comfortable with. Mike is still young and might be interested in marriage and a family some day. With Austin already part of his life, this might be a bit more complicated. Neither Mike nor Austin would have it any other way.

I?m reminded of Mutt and Jeff when I see the two of them together. Just yesterday, Mike picked up a bookcase from the curb and Austin insisted on helping him carry it home. They are the most unlikely pair, yet they complement each other.

To Preserve or Destroy
Topic: Preserve or Destroy
I just read a news story about Tibetan monks who spent a week creating a sand panting only to destroy it. The destruction symbolizes impermanence of material things, even those things of beauty. They simply sweep up all their hard work. The sand is given away or added back to nature. This last sand painting was absolutely gorgeous!

Words are probably the easiest to destroy. We can simply push a button to delete a word or an entire document. Thankfully, not all of us feel as the Tibetan monk’s do. Preservation seems to be the order of the day. When we write, there is usually a reason behind it. Even if the reason loses its meaning over time, the writing meant something to us. We preserve that piece of time.

We can often look back at our work and know what was going on at the time it was written. Our works, to us, are something of a diary of our days. Since some writing is said to be cathartic, even darker writes are preserved. Those darker days are still a part of us and the writing documents that fact.

To destroy our words is to destroy part of us. Just like a snapshot that captures a specific moment, our words capture a specific mood or time period. Of course, the author may be the only person to know the true significance of the words, but significant they are. Let’s say, for example, that we’ve written a very upbeat piece. We may know that this upbeat piece is uncharacteristic since we suffer from depression. Our readers might not know this.

Material things quite probably shouldn’t have as much meaning as they do, but art comes from deep within each person. I can’t see the justification of destroying it.

When All Else Fails...
Topic: When All Else Fails...
…read the instructions. No really, some days no matter how much you want to or how hard you try, your efforts are in vain. We just can’t get inspired. Pictures don’t work, examples provided by others don’t spark the imagination, and we just can’t get going. It happens. Unfortunately, there is no one instruction book for inspiration or writing.

Even if our words sometimes come out kicking and screaming, this is not how we want to behave when they simply won’t come. We want to be more productive. There’s no sense in beating yourself up over finding yourself in the dumps. Maybe it is time to do something for yourself. Take a walk. Put on your favorite album (do people still have record players?).

If nothing begs to be written, maybe it would be a good time to review what we want to accomplish. Dig out your “to do” list. Have you done anything on the list? Have you found any new goals to add to the list? We all know how slow editors can be when we submit work, maybe we can update our list to show that we’ve gone three weeks without a rejection. That could be a milestone!

Pull out some of your non-successes and read them over. Can you see anything today that you would do differently? Jot down the ideas. Since we’re not actually writing today, making notes of what we see or of research we want to do could help when we are again ready to work. Pull out some crossword puzzles. Are there some clues or words that just get us going? Make a note of them.

Maybe there’s a movie you’ve been dying to see. Now would be a good time to watch it. Make up some popcorn or other snacks and just vegetate in front of the television. Why not? We’re writers not barbarians! Sometimes we just need to do things for ourselves. Be selfish; I give you my permission. Obviously, today is one of my non-inspiring days. I think its time to go for a stationary bike ride.

Have a good day, all!

To Workshop or Not
Topic: Workshop or Not
Okay, so you’ve decided to send your poem through the workshop. There are several things you need to know about workshops. There is also one thing you need to remember.

The poem belongs to you!

Workshops are designed as a learning tool for writers. It offers an in-depth look from different perspectives on what you have written. It is the job of the workshop instructors to point out your strengths and weaknesses and to offer suggestions. It is your job to filter through this information to determine what is usable to you.

The poem belongs to you!

You, as a workshop participant, have a voice. That voice can say no! The poem belongs to you. If a suggestion or a comment is sending your piece into a different direction than you intended, say so. We can only help you if we understand the intent of what you have written.
The poem belongs to you!

Workshop instructors are not there to do the work for you. Take all suggestions with a grain of salt and, if worthy, use your own voice to give them life. It is not necessary to use every suggestion. We know, or hope, that you have put a lot of time and effort into your poem. You have stamped it with your identity. We only want to help to enhance that identity.

The poem belongs to you!

Reinforcement
Topic: Reinforcement
I wanted to start with a quote today. This quote comes from the same source as the two stories from yesterday, JAW Magazine, Spring, 2005. Richard Nilsen says “Sometimes it doesn’t just flow out of the word processor. It takes work to pull it kicking and screaming onto the page. And in all probability, the easier it looks to read on the page, the harder it was to get it there.” These two sentences left an impression on me. This is probably because they are both the opposite of some topics we’ve covered recently and identical to others.

Have I confused you yet? When writing becomes like pulling teeth, there obviously isn’t a flow going on. We’ve discussed flow and keeping it going even if it doesn’t fit in our plan. However, because we do have a plan, the words are often forced to fit a specific scenario. In this case, accomplishing the plan can be painful. My advice about sitting on it would come in handy here. When we go back and take another look, we might find a better way of stating those painful words. We need to remember that writing isn’t always easy.

If we remember that revision can be our friend, the whole process of sitting on it can become less uncomfortable. It is okay to change an ending multiple times. It is okay to do a complete rewrite if needed. We previously discussed keeping our unsatisfactory work in a separate place and re-writing them at a later time. We also discussed fishing the gems out of the garbage and providing new homes or new settings. The possibilities are endless.

We are limited by our own shortcomings--impatience and lack of imagination. Given the proper thought and deference, our words can become the proper masterpiece they were meant to be. Given the proper consideration our words can affect someone enough to inspire someone to write.

I have written Richard to request permission to use the quote. If I get a negative response, I may have to do some quick editing to this entry.

Awesome Stories
Topic: Awesome Stories
I read this awesome story today. It was about shopping carts and was written by someone much like you or me. The shopping carts were getting away from the grocery stores and attacking people. It got to a point where supermarkets went back to using baskets and bag boys quit their jobs because they feared they would be targeted first. When they started talking about instituting curfews to keep people off the streets at night, I had to smile.

There was another one right after that about building a fire in outer space. It went on and on about how to build the fire and the accessories needed once we had a fire. These accessories included marshmallows which led to s’mores which led to being desert for hotdogs which led to condiments. Further discussion determined there would be no wood or leaves to use in the fire and no rocks to contain the fire. If there’s no fire then there’s no need to have friends over and no need for marshmallows. We do a full circle. One thing was positive, there was plenty of space.

Now, that last paragraph was pretty much a run on. That’s pretty much how the story was written. Both of these stories were very entertaining and I share them with you today in order to stir your imagination. If shopping carts and building fires in space can make my day, imagine what you can do.

Sit on It
Topic: Sit on It
Our perception of things changes over time. After an unspecified period we become more objective and the work we have created becomes less a part of ourselves. It is then that we can see the imperfections. Mind you, they won't always be there, but real or imagined, they will show themselves. This is, however, the way I write.

Whenever possible, I advise letting a finished piece sit for a period of time before we rush it off to the publisher or post it online. (Like I?ll listen to that one!) We can always revisit the work a couple of hours or a couple of days later and see if it still has the same feel. This, too, will allow us to spot errors more easily.

When we are working on a poem, for instance. Often we are too close to the material to really see it. We know what we wrote even if we didn?t type it exactly as we thought. Looking at it again after time has passed can show us the error of our ways.

When Life Interferes
Topic: When Life Interferes
Some days just aren?t conducive to writing. There?s just too much ?life? getting in the way. If time permits, we might find it cathartic to write about life. This may simply be a ?to do? list of things that we need to clear up in order to afford ourselves more time for what we really want to do. It may be a rant of all the things that have bottled up over time. Sometimes, just jotting it down will help to relieve some of the pressure.

Writing can be so many things. Maybe something that is interfering with our creativity and productivity is a conversation that needs to be had. Write a letter and clear the air. The letter doesn?t have to be delivered. It can be destroyed as soon as it is done if need be, but do something!

When life interferes, we must remember that it is okay. The interference is probably not permanent. There?s no urgency in our self-imposed plans. I?ve spoken before about flexibility. We always need to be flexible because there will always be life emergencies to disrupt our processes.

What's the Rush?
Topic: What's the Rush?
I admit, these entries take me no time at all to complete. I liken them to touchdown passes. I get an idea and I run with it. This is probably because I don?t want the idea to get away from me. I don?t want an interception and I don?t want to be tackled. I want a touchdown every time. This requires some fast moves. I want the instant success. This may mean that I will never be great at what I do, but it makes me happy for now.

We must, though, consider the format. This has been a daily venture for me. The entries are generally short and contain only a few main points. Some only contain one main point. Many of them feed off previous entries and tend to be a bit redundant. If I were, at some point, to put this together in more of an article format, I would only need to create a collection of those points and weave them together.

If these columns were weekly or monthly, that story would be different. I think they would be much harder to write. There would be more depth and length to the content. As a daily dose, short is wonderful. As a weekly or monthly dose, more potency is required.

Normally, though, this is not the way to accomplish success. It is simply my way of doing things. I tend to stew on an idea for a bit and when I actually sit down to write, I knock off a project quickly. In the normal mode of things, hurrying through a project will not yield optimum results. There is no reason to rush things. Let me revise that last statement. The piece that we spit out in no time flat will probably make an incredible first draft.

Now it is time to regurgitate the piece to see what we like about it and what we don?t. Editing is difficult for many of us but it is so required. There?s no limit to how many times we can return to a piece for editing. I suppose we only require a feeling of completeness. There?s no rush in reaching this stage either. Slow down, take your time, and really get to know your work. The only clock you need to be concerned with at this point is your own.