This page...is kind of about me...but since I already covered that in a different page,
it's just going to kind of establish on who/what is strange in today's society. Our world is a complicated one,
and I don't know of anybody that has figured it out. Sooo...if anybody does...please please let me know. Cause if you're smart enough to
to figure the world out, then maybe...possibly..hopefully...you could figure love out. ...or not.. :)
STRANGE: A) Out of the ordinary; unusual or striking. B) Differing from the normal.
So...who is strange? Is strange what the society of today's world does not accept? It strange the "different" in the community? Who has the right to classify what is strange or not? I, for one, think that strangeness is beautifulness. So..you may ask yourself, why is she babbling on about this? Well, I have no reason. I guess you could say I'm just strange.
Am I strange because my favorite feeling is putting on fresh clean socks? Or because I can't stand the feeling of bumps in my socks? Am I strange because I probably have the largest case of foot-phobia ever to exist? Or because my favorite spot in my house is in the center of the pool table? Am I strange because my favorite type of music is rap, yet I mainly listen to country? Or because thunder scares me, but lightening doesn't? Am I strange because I feel that one of my closest friends is Mike Labrot(considering how strange he is..well..jk)? If strange means running around going crazy at a homecoming bonfire because of sour candy with Amanda Forkum, or if strange means having shopping cart races with Tracy Gordon, Gina Hilderbrand, and Haylee Jolliff in the middle of wal mart parking lot, then yeah, you bet I'm strange. But honestly, I wouldn't classify any of that as being strange. I would just say that I'm different, and unique. But who isn't? I could call somebody strange because their favorite feeling wasn't putting on fresh clean socks...or I could call somebody strange because their biggest phobia(i guess that's what you would call it) is when people lick cloth(aka hay jay). But I don't, because I know they're just different, and they're just being an individual. Which is beautiful. And since we're getting into indvidualism..who wouldn't want to be an individual? Who would want to try and be like somebody else? I can't stand the thought of that, and I totally don't understand that concept at all. Now, I can see admiring somebody, and respecting them, but copying them? No. That's just wrong. That would be stealing their indiviuality.
I have just decided to change this page from strangeness...to issues that are on my mind.
Well..what else is on my mind? Rank in society. What's the point? Who's to judge who's higher or not? Doesn't make much sense to me at all. And what can higher your rank? Money? Family? Who you "know"? Why can't rank be based on the important things in life. Intelligence. Personality. Passion. And most importantly...truthfulness. And here we go, but that starts me off on something else. Honesty. Big big big issue to me. If you can't be honest to others, can you truly be honest to yourself? What's the point of lying? Why try and hide behind something? Just come out and be yourself, it's easier in the long run anyway. And if you can't be true to yourself or others, are you really happy in life? Always covering the truth up. That can't be self satisfying.
The biggest thing on my mind right now...is..where do I belong? Is there somewhere out there for me? And why can't I know now whether I'm going to be happy in life, with the person I want to be happy with? Why does love and life have to be so difficult? What did we ever do to deserve the complicatedness of today's world? All I want is one thing. And with that one thing, I know I could be happy for the rest of my life. (well, maybe I should say I think I could be happy, who knows what's in my future.) Some people know what(or who) that one thing is, some don't and never will. And I know "what's meant to be will be"...but why does it take so freakin' long to happen? I know "with patience comes happiness" but I don't care. I just want to know where I belong, and who belongs there with me. Yeah yeah, that'd be too easy and I wouldn't enjoy life..but I sure as heck wouldn't hurt this much. Why does love have to be so confusing?
I remembered a huge thing that's on my mind..but hasn't come up until this past year(my senior year). College. I'm not ready to grow up, so why do I have to? I'm planning on going to SMSU, majoring in interior design..having a good life. But in all honesty, I'm scared to death. It's tearing me up inside. What if college changes me? I know so many people that have changed..and not always how i wanted them to..and they've hurt me. I don't want to become one of those people that would have the capability to hurt somebody. I want to be the sheltered innocent girl that I always have been. Well, I say innocent, few people know truth to that. And a major thing with college is..I am directionally impaired. For real. I mean, I get lost in the town of Dexter...and town of 8 freakin' thousand. Just imagine me in Springfield. Oh dear. Good luck Ang. I have two friends going up there with me(hopefully), I'm hoping that can help me out on the direction thing. I tend to get lost quite easily...and I need as much help as I can get. I'm trying to talk my sister into moving up there with me, but that's a fat chance.
I don't know if this has to do with honesty or not...but, who can you really trust in today's world? I mean, some of the people i thought i could tell stuff to..i can't. and some people i thought you would always tell me the truth, don't. i don't know who i can trust, when i can trust them, and if i should trust them. people always tell me i have one exceptional quality, the quality is trust. but i think it just faded. who in this world can you trust 100%? is there anybody? I sit here and say that you can trust me. but how do you know for sure? is there any way to know? why are there sick demented minds in this world that like to take everything you say, twist it, and tell it to the person you care about? why would somebody want to do that? and then..the person you care about, they pretty much lost trust in you. or something. i'm not quite sure. i just want to know why i always see the good in people..and i can never detect the bad. even if it is obvious, i cover it up, and make excuses for them. should i do that? i know it's wrong. but why can't there just be decent people? it all comes down to this again, all i want in life is one thing. happiness. when do i get to get it?
I've realized something. All this stuff that's on my mind...it's prolly on everybody's. and though nobody may know the answers to any of it, we all wonder it. and all of these things add up, and they all come together, and that's what makes life so difficult. but it's also what makes life worth living. there's pain, and hurt, and tears...but isn't your life worth it? i've realized that people tend to focus on the hard times in life, why not try and focus on the good things?
I gotta go...more later..
