Chapter 2: Born

My entire body was on fire. Only darkness surrounded me, yet it felt like my skin was burning away. My heart was beating so fast it sounded like a single painful note. I could not get enough air.

"Kill me!" The strangled cry escaped my lips. Am I dead already? Am I in hell? Is this hell? My mind could think of nothing more but the pain. The crazed intense pain. I whimpered and screamed into the blackness.

"Kill me, please!" Every portion of my pain echoing to no one. No matter how much I cried to be released, no one ever answered.

"Shouldn't be much longer."

The voice! That wondrous voice. I knew it, but I couldn't remember where or why. Just the fire. Just the pain. Finally, someone would set me free. "Kill me. I'm begging, please."

Just as I believed my mind would shatter from the sheer force of my agony, my limbs cooled, relief licking at my fingers.The pain snaked its way up my body to my chest, constricting in short hot gasps. Twisting around my heart, my body pulsed frantically as my heart rattled against the pain, drowning out all other sounds. Faster my heart beat, feeling as if it would explode, and then it stopped. Everything stopped. The pain, my heart, my breathing.

"I'm dead!" sang from my lips. My muscles relaxed from the sweet release.

Someone cleared their throat, stifling laughter. "You are un-dead, actually."

"What did you say?"

"I said, you are un-dead." The voice laughed out loud, no longer attempting to hide its mirth. "I believe we are more commonly referred to by humans as vampires. You can open your eyes now if you would like. The turning process is over."

The darkness was not a result of the room, but from my still tightly shut eyes. I weighted the benefits of opening them. Pro: I would know where I am. Con: what if it is hell? Pro: What if I am imagining everything, and by opening my eyes the hallucination will be over? Con: what if it's real?

I opened my eyes to a canopy over a large four poster bed. Each delicate cream thread was woven securely into the fabric. It was vibrant to my eyes, but was only lit by a low flickering light, as if the fabric glowed with its own inner illumination. The soft flickering appeared to be from a fireplace, evident by the crackling somewhere to the left of the foot of the bed. But I did not smell smoke or ash. I was not breathing.

I gasped, confused and frantic. The beige comforter covering me shifted side to side with my body, its soft fabric continuing to hold me close. Solid, long straps bound my arms and legs to the crystal-white columns of the bed. I struggled to break free.

"Why?" I pulled hard on all of my limbs. "Why am I tied up? What the hell do you want from me?"

"Please don't struggle," said the voice, but it was too late. A loud snap burst through the night and the column, once securing my right arm, timbered to the ground in two. The canopy fluttered down from the lack of support.

"Thomas, will not be pleased. That was Italian marble and it has been around the world with him for at least half a century." Humor turned his words alight like bells.

I pulled my right arm to me. The strap hung limply from my forearm, the bottom ripped in half. Its thick leather looked heavy, but if felt no more than a ribbon one might place in a child's hair. My arm glowed against the dark leather; reflecting the flickering light. My arm! My skin! My eyes widened in disbelief as I looked closely at the foreign object attached to my body. Almost an icy blueish white, it was smooth as glass. The muscles moved and flexed as I twisted it in front of my face at lightening speeds, but they looked to be as firm as stone. This was no longer my arm. This was something I had no words for.

"The restraints were to keep you from harming yourself in the...change. It can be quite violent."

Distracted from my hand, I searched the room for the source of the voice, ready to show what true violence was, but the fight flooded out of me at the sight of him . He looked like an Adonis sculpture in denim jeans. Styled, jet-black hair fell just off of his temples. Smooth, white skin, strong cheekbones and a jawline with no hint of stubble. Perfect in every way. Then I reached his eyes. They stared calm and even into mine, a brilliant, fiery red. I shivered, a short hiss slipping through my teeth. Raising one brow in response, he stood perfectly still except for the shallow rise and fall of his sculpted chest. He was breathing!

"Why can't I breathe?" I choked, out of air.

He smiled wide, a dimple indenting his right cheek. His teeth glimmered like pearls in moonlight. "Have you tried yet?" He rolled his lips into themselves, laughter rumbling in his chest.

"You are not laughing at me!" My voice comes out a whispered choke.

With my last whispered gasp, the flood gates broke and his laughter was no longer soft suppressed noises, but full on hyena cackles.

Glaring at the insensitive Adonis, I concentrated my mind on the act of breathing. The cool air pierced through my nose and into my lungs. Hundreds of glorious smells filled my senses. Thick and musky smoke. Sweet and earthy apple wood. Lush and flowery Jasmine. The dust in the air was dry and light, contrasted with the earth outside that was wet and heavy. There was a sweet intoxicating scent that I grudgingly concluded to be the Adonis. And something else. It was thick, warm and overpoweringly alluring. It made my throat dry and burn with thirst and desire. Blood. Warm, sticky, heavenly blood.

"So thirsty." I jerked forward, by body seeking the source of the smell, but the three other restraints held me back. I slashed furiously at the offending strap holding my left arm, breaking free only to be pinned down by the Adonis. I clawed fiercely at his crisp back shirt, shredding it from his body.

"Let me go!" I beat at his chest, it strong and resistant against my fists.

His electrifying eyes bored straight into mine, all laughter gone from his face. I stared back without fear, teeth gritted and daring him to fight back, to give me something to use this bubbling intensity inside me on. He refused to take the bait, continuing to pin me down, until with handfuls of his shirt, I let my arms fall limply to my sides. Sure that I would not struggle, he relaxed his grip and that insidious smile returned. "It's considered rude to hiss at others that mean you no harm."

"Could have fooled me," I grunted back, pulling on the leg straps.

"I told you they were for your own protection." His voice was no more than a whisper.

His cool breath washed over my face, his delicious scent annoyingly seductive. On the outside he was the picture of calm, but something inside told me otherwise. I knew that he was both afraid and excited by me, but I had no explanation of how I knew.

"You are afraid of me?" The question fell from my lips before self control could stop it.

The Adonis's eyes squinted slightly, his hesitancy to share the truth echoing through my thoughts. My mouth gaped open in surprise. "You felt like lying to me." My voice sounded foreign to my ears, as if someone else were speaking my words. "I'll know if you do," I bluffed, wondering if it was really a bluff at all.

Before I could get a response, my eyes raced around the room. They took in the texture of the silken rich fabric of the canopy. The terrain of the once flawless marble. The smooth lines of the warm wood planks making up the floor. The picturesque window draped in dense rich honey curtains. And the stars! They were awe inspiring bright. My left hand reached out to touch them. Logic seemed to no longer be in control of my body, it now a slave to the new sensations swirling the room.

"You will be able to focus your mind once you become more in control of your new...abilities." The Adonis' eyes followed my slow reaching hand, smirking at my reaching fingers.

"That didn't answer my question." Despite my spinning mind, my memory was quick to recall our conversation.

"Yes. Newborns can be exceptionally strong and you happen to be a terribly spirited one." He sighed, once again washing his sweet scent across my face. "If you wanted, you could kill us all. We had no way of knowing how you would react."

"So if I promise not to kill you, will you untie me? Or would you prefer I break a few more of these columns?" I tugged on my legs again for emphasis.

Suddenly, anxiety pierced through my thoughts, but I did not know why. My body felt calm, but a ball of worry continued to beat throughout my brain. These feelings were not mine.

The Adonis looked to my face, his brows wrinkling his forehead. "What's wrong?"

Before I could answer, two quick taps resonated from the carved door across the room.

The Adonis' gaze snapped to the door, and he slid off me, as if he were never there. "It is safe to enter."

I sat up as the door opened, my legs still firmly strapped to the columns at the foot of the bed. Two exquisite statues glided into the room. The male looked to me, then to the broken column on the floor. His jaw twitched, the ball of worry now having a face. He appeared to be older than the Adonis, but not enough to be a father. His straight hair was the color of wheat, parted perfectly on the left, and swept away from his face. He stood at least six feet tall, and his lean body looked to rival the gods.

A tinkling of laughter erupted from the woman beside him. Where both men were muscular and solid, she was soft and inviting. With a curvy physique, she stood no more than a few inches over five feet tall. Her chestnut brown hair hung like waves around her tiny frame, and under heavy lidded lashes shined rich violet eyes. "I guess we are getting a new bed," she murmured, smiling as she arched one well shaped brow.

She whisked across the room to sit beside me, pulling me to her chest. "Welcome, my dear." Nothing but overwhelming love emanated from her, like she could cradle the world in her tiny arms. The older gentleman relaxed, nothing but absolute adoration reaching out from his auburn eyes to her. A strong longing struck me with a forceful thud. Adonis looked to each member of the happy couple and smiled, not acknowledging the envy burning in his heart.

"Our new addition seems to be quite strong, Aldan."

The Adonis nodded at the gentleman's words. Adonis...Aldan, I was close. "Yes, Thomas, she is. Spirited, too." He worried over sharing my curious accuracy to his feelings. Without a word, he looked hard in my direction.

I cleared my throat. Three sets of vibrant eyes settled on me. "Could you not talk about me like I'm not here? And could someone please untie me?"

"How very rude of us!" exclaimed the radiant woman beside me. "I am Lea Knight, and the handsome but stern looking man over there is my mate, Thomas Knight. And you have already met Aldan." She motioned to the Adonis standing by the fireplace. He leaned gracefully over the mantle.

"He had actually yet to introduce himself." Breathing in deeply, I attempted to calm my racing mind. The warm, sweet, sticky smell was back and overloading my senses. I leaped again towards the heavenly scent. The thick restraints groaned as they held my legs fast. I fell over the foot board to the ground with a loud thud. My head met the smooth wood floor, like a boulder meeting earth.

"That's why I didn't untie you," Aldan said smugly.

"Oh you poor thing! You must be famished," Lea blurted out, untying my legs from the remaining bed columns. She rose for the door with her arm tucked securely around my waist. At almost five feet ten inches, I towered over her.

"Do you think that wise?" Thomas questioned his mate. "We haven't explained enough about our ways."

"How do you expect a newborn to hear anything you have to say on an empty stomach?" she answered, swishing me out the door. In moments we were downstairs and facing a door set just down a long hallway. Skillfully crafted paintings hang down the hall. We moved unbelievably quickly, but I saw everything easily. It was as if time had frozen, and we moved leisurely through it.

"How did we..."

"Don't worry, love," Lea responds to my half uttered question. "You will understand once you become more accustomed to your new abilities."

That was the second time I heard that phrase in the past hour. Get use to being a vampire. Oh sure! Then I'll hang out with a couple of werewolves, and see what Frankenstein's monster is up to. I must be dreaming. This all is just so...so...ludicrous. Breaking my mental rant was the enticing sound of a rapidly beating heart. Inhaling deeply, I filled my entire body with the musky smell. Aldan and Thomas grabbed me before I bashed through the door. I hadn't realized they followed Lea and I downstairs.

"Careful," Aldan whispered to me gently. "Just because you can break through the door, does not mean you should. When you are done feeding, there is a lot to talk about."

Thomas and Aldan released me, and Lea opened the door. Inside, a slight excuse of a man sat curled into himself against the far wall corner. The room was empty, just warm wood floors and deep mahogany painted walls. The man's brown wrinkled hands scratched the wall with black cracked nails. He whimpered. There was a scent of salt from his tears and the pungent odor where he urinated himself. The room has no windows and only the sliver of light from the door illuminated the man. His sinewy body retracted in fear.

"Please don't hurt me," his coarse voice cried out to the door. He peeked a set of muddy brown eyes at the door, begging to be released.

"You should have considered your actions more carefully," Thomas informed the blubbering man in the corner. "Every action has an opposite and equal reaction. Did you really think you would get away from the responsibility of your crime?" A smug smile spread across Thomas' face.

The man looked from Thomas to my hungry face, recognition registering in his eyes. "I'll never lay a finger on her again, I swear!" he told Thomas, bargaining for his life. "And I'll give it all up. The booze, the drugs. All of it. And I won't tell anyone I was here. It will just be between you and me. Just please, please let me go."

My thirst rang wildly in my ears, as my heart cried for this man. But instinct overtook me. I crouched low, a loud hiss pierced the night, and my lips were to his neck, crossing the space instantly. My teeth sank deep, the crimson joy dripping down my throat. Satisfaction seeped into my body, filling my greatest desire, then fear. Angry, desperate, fear. The man cried out in agony for God to save him. His desperation was like sharp needles against my skin, but I was so thirsty. My breath was quick and haggard.

Deeper I drank. Unable to deny my desire, I sucked the life force from his body. It went limp in my hands, slumped against the wall. His white shirt felt soft and thin between my fingers. The fear stopped. My breathing evened, and I was left disgusted. What have I done? My face distorted in anguish, but no tears stung my eyes. What have I become?!

Aldan leaned against the door frame, breaking the light into the room and hiding my messy face in shadows. My wild eyes searched his calm ones. "Your eyes are so breath-takingly blue." His tone was casual, as if I did not just suck the life force from this limp body in my hands. Or like it's normal! "It's rare for us to keep our human eye color, as you can tell from Thomas and myself." He pointed to his eyes, the red glowing in the darkness. "How very fortunate for me that you did. Come now, there is much to explain."

I released the poor man and rose. My hands shook and I did not know what to do with them. I followed Aldan out of the room, my revulsion so strong I wanted to rip myself from my own skin.

***

Thomas and Lea sat under an expansive window framing the small yard in front. Lea had her hands clasped in her lap, thumbs worrying her smooth alabaster skin. Thomas was staring into space with a book lying across his lap, concern etched across his face. His hand rested under his chin; his forefinger lightly tapping his lips. Their anxiety whipped through my brain, and I wondered if, unlike Aldan, they were distraught over the crime that I had committed tonight. Guilt squirmed in my gut.

Dawn approached. Its soft light danced through an expanse of thick trees. I could hear birds twittering, smell their dry dusty feathers, and hear their little heart beats. I was aware of so much I felt I would drown in sensations. Each sound, smell, and taste were broken apart from one another and identified by my heightened senses. Every entity I now knew in excruciating detail within seconds. A soft breeze licked through the tiny yellow blades of grass outside. They yawned back in subservience. I thought I might scream from it all.

"You'll want to close those drapes or something. It's going to be morning soon." My hollow voice filtered out from my spot in the entry.

Thomas and Lea's eyes raised to my face, no surprise at my presence. They knew I was standing here. "It's not really necessary." Lea's voice was far away, her thoughts seemingly on another matter.

"It might be wise for now." Aldan approached beside me wearing a new crisp black shirt.

Despite my distaste for the man, I smiled thinking back to the smooth skin and firm muscles hiding beneath the new shirt. Something primal stirred inside me when I looked at him, his soft lips inviting. I shook my head, attempting to clear my mind of him and all that he seemed to conjure inside me.

He stared forward, not meeting my gaze. "The sunlight might be..." He paused to search for the right word. "Distracting."

Lea nodded and rose to close the rich drapes. Her nimble fingers made fast work of the thick, flax ropes, holding back the heavy Egyptian blue drapes. Her dress made soft swooshing sounds as it moved with the length of her strides. With the drapes pulled, the room was lit only by the soft glow of two silver antique lamps on either side of the couch.

After finding out that I was neither dead nor alive, that vampires were real, and that I could now sense everything in the universe, I expected to be exhausted. Instead, I felt like I was on a caffeine high that would never end. My mind processed everything at overwhelming speeds letting no dust mote go unnoticed. I was distracted and irritated, but I could not make it stop. The bulbs in the lamps sounded like a swarm of killer bees and it took a strong amount of will not to smash them against the wall.

"Please sit," Thomas motioned to the love seat across from the couch. Despite feeling like I could probably stand for hours, I did what he asked, Aldan sitting beside me. Even being in a room that was across the house from the life I stole, I could still smell the blood. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to take controlled breaths, but it just intensified the desire. I stopped breathing altogether. My mind quieted as I shut off one of my senses, but the desire refused go away. It was like trying to control a spoiled toddler. One way or another, this force inside me would continue to get its way.

"Are you alright?" Aldan spoke to my ear, his voice just above a whisper.

I looked at him wryly, fighting the urge to be flippant. "The lights. They are so loud. And the blood..." I groaned, my throat burning with desire.

Thomas nodded, his face a mask to his inner thoughts, but I knew he feared me, his unease a coil in my brain.

"I'll go clean up the mess," Lea said with a false lightness. Within an instant she was gone. Moments later, I was relieved by the scent of ammonia and bleach.

Thomas eyed me, a crease deepening his brow. His gaze followed the blood crusted around my mouth and down my neck into a blooming scarlet stain across what was once a white nightgown. "Aldan, go help her get cleaned up." Thomas motioned his hand in my direction. "It's hard enough to concentrate at this time of... development."

Aldan took my hand. His was smooth and firm, but neither warm nor cold. Casually leading me to the stairs, he seemed to allow me time to take in my surroundings. The entry was large, a round glass table sitting directly in the center. The vase atop it reminded me of a crash of a mighty ocean wave, holding long stems of Jasmine in its center. The whole house was warm honey woods and inviting colors. Not exactly the place for creatures of the night. No cobwebs or spooky smoke. No bats hanging from the vaulted ceiling.

Our pace felt painstakingly slow as we walk up the stairs. "This is a normal human speed." Aldan's voice was no longer teasing as it was when I first awoke. "Remember it well as it will be important to blend in."

I nodded. Normal human speed. I am not human any longer. What have I become? At the top of the stairs, we turned right down a hallway that was opposite from the room I awoke in.

"Where are we going?"

"To my room." His statement was casual.

"Your room?" My eyes furrowed in trepidation.

"You are far too tall for Lea's clothes. You will have to borrow some of mine until we can buy you some of your own."

"Buy? I'm sure I have perfectly good clothes back where I live."

"Oh? And where might that be?"

I bristled from his smugness, wanting to slap the knowing look from his face. "It's..." I paused. "Well, I live where...uh."

He stopped and looked at me, waiting.

"It's near," and I realized in alarm I had no idea. I did not know where I lived!

He sighed. "Look, that was mean of me," he said after I finished floundering, "but you need to understand that your home is with us now. You are not human anymore."

"But why can't I remember anything?" My voice grew higher by the second, eyes widening in panic. Aldan's face became sad at the sound of my desperation.

"Here. Let's get you cleaned up, and I'll try to explain." Aldan motioned to the door we stopped in front of. "Ladies first," he added when I hesitated. The knob was an intricate curve of golden metal and turned easily under my hand. It was warm against my skin.

Light hazed through the tan curtains. Murals of beautiful landscapes covered the walls, full of far away places that I never dreamed of seeing. Thick brown carpet nestled my bare feet. There was little furniture in the room. Only a chocolate brown leather couch and an expensive looking stereo.

An easel sat off to the left of the window with an unfinished piece of a red headed woman sleeping atop it, and a small round table with a splatter of paints next to it. I was mesmerized by her beauty. Her hair spanned across a silk pillow like a wild fire. Eyes squeezed shut, she looked to be lost in an intense dream.

"You can wash up in there," Aldan motioned to a door on his right, clearly uncomfortable. Without my knowledge, I had crossed the length of the room and was staring at the painting. "I'll look for something that might fit you," he added. His eyes scanned my body up and down in an intense stare. I shivered under the scrutiny of his burning red eyes. He lifted his chin up, while looking to the corners of his vision, and turned to a door to the left of him. It opened to a large walk in closet, a woody scent wafting out.

I walked to the indicated door. Another warm knob greeted me. Making out the bathroom through the darkness, I noticed everything was a varying shade of muted brown.

"A lot of brown," I said into the bathroom.

"Brown is never awkward," came from the closet, "no matter what color of paint it's next to."

So he paints. Do monsters paint?

I flipped the switch in the bathroom and the room was aglow with fluorescent light. The wonderfully thick carpet continued into the bathroom, gently encouraging me inside. Sandy stone made up the walls, counter and luxurious tub, with a shower surrounded in nothing but clear glass sat beside the tub. I began to hunt for some cloth to clean up with, when a figure moved in the corner of my eye.

A beautiful but horrific woman stared back at me. Her skin was a bright blue-white with a shock of striking red hair. Copper red stained her mouth and neck. A delicate hand touched the blood on her lips, the crust rubbing onto my fingertips. The hair, the skin! She is the woman from the painting! She is me! Then I saw her eyes. They were awe inspiring arctic blue. They were wide and wild. I could not take my eyes from them. My breath came out in little gasps. I reached my blood crusted fingertips to the mirrored glass, tracing the contour's of my face.

"I told you they were breath-taking," Aldan said from the doorway, his lips curved into a smile. "Sit on the counter. I'll clean you up."

I nodded, trying to calm my breathing. It felt like floating, swinging my body up onto the counter. Aldan pulled a dark brown washcloth from behind an almost black cabinet door. My eyes followed his sure movements. He turned the gold knobs on the sink, and I was lost in the flowing water. It was as if my entire body was nestled in the sound. I still could not seem to to stop my mind from loosing itself in each new sensation.

"Is it always this difficult," I asked.

"What is?" he responded, wetting the cloth and turning off the water.

"Being able to concentrate. It feels I might go crazy with all these sensations." My heart felt heavy. Or where my heart use to be. The physical and mental heart were easily distinguishable now; only one had stopped beating.

"No." His smile curved down, sadness creeping across his brow. "Being able to take so much in will be a gift soon. Things you use to love will take on a whole new joy." He reached up and with butterfly touches, removed the blood from my lips. His scent was thick and heady this close. I wanted to push him away, and pull him close. I wanted to loose myself in something that wasn't water, and his body was like an electric current drawing me in. "As a newborn, everything is heightened for you. Your strength, your senses, your emotions. They will all find their places soon, and everything will seem second nature. You won't question it."

"Is that what happened with your painting?"I asked, my thoughts bouncing around in my head. My body was giving into feelings that my mind was not ready to grasp.

He looked up into my eyes. I held his gaze, noticing his eyes were more than red. They were red with oranges and yellows, like the sun unfiltered by the sky.

"Yes and no. I no longer forget anything, so I can paint without even seeing these places. But I do lose the experience. It's no longer sand, but tiny rocks. No longer ocean, but salt water." He seemed lost for a moment, unaware of the inner conflict inside me. His smile did not seem to reach his eyes. "I promise eating won't always be this messy." He changed the subject, now cleaning my chin.

I let it go. The sadness of his feelings swirled in my stomach, and it did not mix well with the budding molten liquid currently burning there."You said you would explain why I can't remember anything." I searched his face.

He thought for a moment, scanning the space just above my head for the answer. "It's like being born," he told me, "and trying to remember what it was like in the womb before." He nodded, satisfied with his analogy.

"Born," I said, now my turn to try and squelch mocking laughter. Both of my brows rose toward my hairline.

"Most of us don't remember much of our human lives," he continued, ignoring my jab at his analogy. "Bits and pieces mostly, the moments right before being turned are usually the most clear."

I pondered this as he continued down my neck. The cloth was warm and soft, his hand gentle. I tried to grasp at what came before. My mind's eye searched through the dark fog of my memory. It was frustrating to try and reach through such intangible thoughts when my current ones were so clear. I continued to reach, Aldan dabbing across my chest. A powerful jolt shocked through me, like I fell through ice and was now trapped in the stinging water below.

"Thought you were too good for me huh, Charisse?" echoed an ugly voice into my ears.

"My name," I sputtered. "My name is Charisse." My mental hand snapped back from the fog as if burned. I feared what else lied there.

"Charisse," Aldan repeated, trying the name across his tongue. It sounded like velvet on his lips. "Very beautiful name."

I could feel his attraction to me growing. Moments ago, I wanted him to want me, now I had the intense desire to put space between us. "Th-Thank you," I sputtered again, "f-for the compliment and for helping me." My hand stayed his and I took the washcloth.

The sides of his mouth twitched upward. "You're welcome. Clothes are laid out for you on the love seat. Please join us when you are finished."

He was gone in an instant, hurt and desire stirred in his wake. I heard the soft clasp of the door and his foot steps faded down the hall. I sighed, his scent lingering in my nose. "What am I going to do?" I asked the wall.

Heading for the love seat, I hopped off the counter. Just as promised, a soft cashmere sweater sat folded neatly on top of a pair of khaki pants. A belt hung over the back of the couch. I pulled the stained gown up and over my head, letting it fall to the ground. My stomach was smooth and flawless. Beside the small detail of being dead, I am in the best condition of my life.

Undead. I corrected myself, taking the pants and sliding in one long leg at a time. They fit the length of my legs, but pooled around my belly. Working the belt through the pant loops, I pulled it tight around my waist. The fabric crinkled around me, but the pants did not seem like they would fall down. Picking up the sweater, I smiled at the soft blue fabric. The color of my eyes. Pulling it over my head, Aldan's scent danced around my nose. "He's certainly good looking," I mused, pulling the soft fabric down around me. I could not quite pin down how I felt about Aldan. My body sure as hell had made a decision, going warm and liquidy when he was near, but there was something that felt closed off. I seemed to know every emotion he felt, but his reactions were often at odds to his true feelings. One minute he was wicked and funny, the next solemn and distant.

My fingers reached to the wall, feeling the layers of the paint, following Aldan's hand. The wall was a rendition of a tropical beach. Startling blue water lapping softly at the wet white sand. Palms were frozen in mid sway in an unseen breeze. "It's no longer sand, but tiny rocks. No longer ocean, but salt water." Deep sadness filled me, making all of my body heavy. An unseen sun filled the painting with a bright light, the clear sky caressing each grain of sand. The sadness intertwined with longing. I would never see the beach. At least, never like this. No matter how hard I tried, I could not conjure the feel of the sun on my human skin. "It's not really necessary." Lea's words echoed in my mind. She wasn't afraid of the sunlight. Maybe there was hope left.

I took a spin around the room, stalling. Do I really want to know what it is to be a vampire? To be a monster? My face distorted with emotion, but there were no tears. Why can't I cry?! My frustration quivered through me so loud that I wanted to scream, but I knew they would hear me. I took a deep breath and walked into the hallway.

I practiced more of my human walk, delaying as much as I could on what the future held. It felt as if I was trying to walk heel to toe. This use to be normal. I sighed. But if I learned, I might be able to leave. Hope tingled through my body. Then my thoughts led to the man I killed during the night. The joy I received from his pain. The hope died away."You are not human anymore."

Everything felt so strange and new. I want to cry! I want it all to be a dream! But it all felt more real than anything before it. Or at least I thought it did. My memory continued to remain a foggy and distant conundrum. I could understand vague concepts about myself. My likes. My dislikes. If I had experienced something before. But I could not seem to nail down specific memories.

I smelled all three vampires long before I reached the stairs. Each scent was pleasant, but distinctly different, like comparing flowers to fresh baked cookies. Good, but in very different ways. The blood-hound senses were getting tiresome.

"You look much better," Lea said in greeting. She was seated at a grand piano of beautiful blond wood. Her fingers danced across the keys producing a soft jazzy tune that soothed my ever full mind. Unlike when she spoke, her singing was low and husky. I sat, once again, on the love seat next to Aldan. The lights were off, a warm glow from the fireplace in its place.

"Charisse," Thomas began. He made a slow circle around the expanse of the room, as if the movement helped him think. "We live a rather alternative lifestyle for our kind."

"Alternative?" My words dripped with sarcasm. Though Aldan's face was completely composed, his internal laughter pattered about my thoughts. Knowing people's hidden emotions was getting an upside.

"Many of our kind," he continued, ignoring my question, "live only on their impulses. They get a sense of joy feeding on whomever they want, whenever they want. They see humanity has nothing more than food and play things. We are not like that. We are different." He finished firmly, hands balled into fists.

I recalled the man I had murdered to feed my thirst. I knew the desire. Shame spread through me like angry snakes. My eyes examined the cracks in the floor with uncanny scrutiny, not able to meet Thomas' gaze.

"We only feed on those that choose to harm humanity. We protect the city from its underbelly. The murders, the thieves, the abusers, the drug dealers, the rapists. We bring justice to those they have hurt." Thomas' eyes looked into space, his voice intense in its conviction.

"Isn't that the job of the police?" My voice was meek, still burning with shame.

"Humanity's judicial system is flawed. These...these...villains continue to run the streets unchecked." Thomas' certainly felt like hot coals. There was a rage in his heart. Unchecked, undeniable rage at these men that existed on the darker side of life. "If it weren't for us, you would already be dead."

"You were dying," Aldan adds, his voice tender as he tried to get me to understand. "There was a man attacking you in a park. You had a serious head injury, and dozens of deep cuts across your body. His intent was clear to end your life. You were very weak when we found you, and you would not have survived the journey to the hospital. Even at our speeds." He looked into my eyes, worry reflecting in the red. What is he so afraid of?

I searched the room, digesting the information. It all seemed too much. Too absurd to grasp.

"So you are like, crime fighting vampires?" It sounded even more ridiculous out loud.

"More like protectors," Thomas' said, his righteous fury ebbing its way out of his system.

"And what was my meal's crime?" My teeth were gritted tightly, lips pursed into a frown. I glared right into Thomas' red eyes. "How did he deserve to be kidnapped and slaughtered like an animal?"

"He was your attacker, Charisse." The silence hummed while Thomas spoke. "And he wasn't a first time offender, as your judicial system puts it. The night of your attack, in a drunken rage he beat your mother within an inch of her life, stealing money from her purse while she cried out, broken and bloody on the floor. By the bruising on your mother, I believe this abuse had been going on for some time." Controlled anger snaked through Thomas' body, his muscles tightening with every word. "Charisse, by ending his life, you saved your mother's life while avenging your own."

"It was in concern for your well being that we brought him here. You haven't learned how to control your thirst. It could have been disastrous to bring you to the city," Aldan explained. "You would have slaughtered many innocents, driven mad by the unending thirst. Instead you fed on one man that deserved his fate."

I tried to morph the pathetic man in the dark room, begging for God to save him, into the man that attempted to murder me and beat my mother, a woman who's face I could not pull from my memory. All I could feel was his pain and agony. The guilt hung heavy around my neck. Nothing would justify what I had done. "If he had done so much damage already, why did you wait to kill him. Why did you wait until he tried to kill me?"

"We try to be discrete when we feed." Thomas bristled at my question, clearly at unease with how events played out. "In the middle of an urban neighborhood was a poor location to have no witnesses."

"We had planned to detain him when he left the bar, but you were there," Aldan added. He reached for my hand, but I coiled my arms around me, hands gripping at my sleeves. "We decided to wait for another night when we heard you screaming for help. We came as fast as we could..."

I flinched, images of that night flashing through my brain. I remembered the fear. I remembered the begging for my life. The pain. "Is it normal for you guys to turn people that won't make it into...into...vampires?" I changed the subject, wanting to be far away from the dark fog that was my human memories.

"No," Aldan whispered. "You were different."

"How? How am I different?" No one would look at me. Aldan's emotions swirled inside me. His desire and hope battling with loneliness, envy and fear. He wanted something from me, but I did not understand. Thomas and Lea exchanged worried glances.

"Charisse, when one of us decides to turn a human," Thomas began, sounding vaguely similar to the birds and the bees speech, "he or she must be willing to be tied to that person for eternity. We feel that the choice should only be made for those without hope to live a normal human life, like you, but the basic decision is always the same."

"But how am I...?"And then it clicked into place. I stared at Aldan, my eyes wide with confusion and rage."I'm for you, aren't I?" He did not meet my eye to deny it. "I was turned to be your Lea, your mate!" All three of them jerked at my words.

"It's not like that..." Aldan spoke to the floor. "You would have been..."

"Do I get a say in the matter?" My chin quivered as I spoke. My anger felt hot and sharp though my body was icy cold.

"Of course you do," Thomas responded, quick to placate me. "It was more of a hope really. You are still in control of your life."

I snorted. My life as a vampire.

"There really is only one law that you must follow," Thomas said with warning. "You must keep our secret at all costs. No one is to ever know that we exist. It would harm us all, not just you."

"So I have complete control of my life, except I am driven by an all consuming thirst and no one is to know I exist," I said dryly.

"They can know of you," Aldan added urgently. "They just cannot know what you are."

I nodded slowly. It all seemed almost moot. Can I even be near humans without instantly wanting to kill them all?

"The thirst can be controlled," Aldan continued, as if reading my mind. "You can't base your eternal life on one night."

"And how long does that take?" I asked.

"Usually about a year or two."

"A YEAR OR TWO! I can't stay locked up in here for years!"

"It's not so strict as you think. We will..." Aldan was interrupted by Lea.

"I think it's time to let Charisse rest and absorb what you both have said. It can be a bit overwhelming, don't you think, Thomas?" Lea finished her song and looked up at her lover.

Thomas nodded, agreeing to whatever Lea requested.Normally I would have found the moment enduring, now it was just sickening.

"But I am not tired," I grumbled.

"You won't be," Aldan said, his guilt clawing at my anger.

"Our kind don't sleep," Thomas finished for him.

"Ever!?"

"Never, I am afraid," Thomas answered.

My eyes switched back and forth from their faces, wishing, like many things I learned this night, that this was just a cruel joke.

"She still needs time," Lea ended firmly. It was the first time I had heard anger in her voice. By the stunned expressions on both Thomas and Aldan's faces, I could confirm that it was a very rare occurrence. "You both have been this way for a very long time. This is her first day in this eternity. Give her time. It is the one thing we have plenty to spare of."

She rose and ushered me down the hall into a bedroom of both extravagance and normalcy. The room was full of pinks and yellows in attempts to capture spring. A tall sleigh bed of light wood sat in the center of the room, an intricate head board of vines and roses up against the wall. The window across the room looked out into a hazy overcast morning. Ducks and geese played in the large creek outside surrounded by boulders and trees. Lots and lots of trees.

"No coffin huh?" I said as a joke, her angry squashing my own. But Lea was not looking at me, instead at the soft comforter and fluffy pillows.

"I miss dreaming, too," she said just above a whisper. "If you are still long enough and you let your mind roam far enough, you can almost reach something close." She shook her head, pulling her mind back from the fairylands it was dancing in. "I chose this room because I thought you might like the view. It can be calming. Pleasant thoughts, my dear." She looked up at me, her lips curved enough to hint of the bubbly woman I met in the night. My heart swelled for the pain she refused to show. And then she was gone, leaving only the sweet scent of flowers and sunshine in her wake.

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