The Sink Was Full Of Fishes

Easter's gone. Today's my day and I can't give a damn about weather outside, since I am gonna passing the night in the enormous garage that Dowlands own in their home garden, and that from more than 24 hours has been vacated from the family's four cars.
That's a garage with windows up, you can go figure... well that's exactly how it looks, with the windows attached to the roof almost and the light which they lead into is dim, but pretty diffused. I have been forbidden access till 9h30 pm. No worries, I would never enter anyway, I do like surprises.
I think this must be Jill's present, I mean, the fact he's organizing me all this big styled celebration. This must also be what I like to believe in: Ste called me up yesterday and I cried after it. I am sure he misses me, I am sure he feels he's losing me out, completely... I tried to show him my door still open wide yet to changes, cos I can't get him out of my head and I told him that for how much he has been idiot in leaving me, he's got plenty of time to put pieces together.But now all is up to him: and I am not gonna wait eternally for he's coming back fairly with his heart together and sane, ceasing to fear responsibilities and engagement.
Gotta get up with my life too, soon, I got my life to live in full so... WAKE UP MAN!!!!

I won't eat anything.Don't wanna stomaches showed tonight, when I'll wear that marvel of a dress that my parents sent me from Italy as birthday gift: all black satin, it underlines all body without stretching it and it's got this massive sided cut which comes to the verge of groin, but no one could call it vulgar. I think it fits me well, and no matter for my lacking of breasts, I can say with it I look quite sexy with it. At least.. some... I want everyone to turn to me and think that "Check it out these Italians..." and Jill must think so too.
I feel the urge to test my seductive skill; too many weeks of a sentimental mourning, too many regrets, so wide a bore... tonight I'd just like to feel appreciated, I'd like to flirting in innocence, with no malice..I'd like to feel for just one second like I could be taken in the air, like I can look at me and tell back at my image... double-top!
Till then, I am gonna sing.. let's put fuel in my engine, I feel something ready to explode inside my chest.
To sing in English is even more flattering than speaking to me, cos with singing you give soul to words. And to learn Jill's favourite repertory has been a joke, due to the fact he practically doesn't listen to anything different than these songs, and unconsciously I was already aware of all of them. And I feel a deep pleasure, lately, in producing me in choruses about stories of luxury and rebellism, about happiness and will, but also about a world shadowed by rage and anger, pain and groans, which sometimes amaze you for their passion and romance.
Well, it's not exactly like they can use a number of terms or anything which sounds that educated, contrariwise... their lexicon's so predictable but how could I blame them for their relationship with school, if the story Jill told me about their family life has to be trusted? Sometimes Destiny makes many choices in your place, and it can be such a bastard scene is better don't get deeper about it.
Anyway, from some of their lyrics you can easily hint towards a patina of uneasiness, a lack of satisfaction and a will of escape, a will of redemption.
Even when they're singin about hedonism and joy, you can feel they are not able to feel it themselves that intensively, that they are unable to really gain it in full, and mantain it into their spirit without compromising it with their dark past. Their exceeding looks to me like a will of drawning out from terrible memories: Noel must be a very sensitive man...

I think no one's in the house at the moment. I'd like to sneak up a bit in Jill's room...No, I can't.
I shall not.
It would be such a stupid idea...