The Perfect Husband
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A friend of mine told me about this new Husband
Shopping Center where a woman could go to choose
from among many men for her husband. It was laid out in
five floors, with the men increasing in positive
attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule
was once you opened the door to any floor, you must
choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a
floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the
place.
So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find a
man as a prospective husband.
First floor, the
door had a sign saying : "These men have jobs and
love kids." The women read the sign and say
"Well that's better than not having jobs, or not
loving kids, but I wonder what's further up". So
up they go.
Second floor says:
"These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and
are extremely good looking" Hmmm,
say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?
Third floor:
"These men have high paying jobs, are extremely
good looking, love kids and help with the
housework." Wow! say the women. Very tempting,
BUT, there's more further up! And up they go.
Fourth floor:
"These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are
extremely good looking, help with the housework, and
have a strong romantic streak." Oh, mercy me. But
just think! What must be awaiting us further
on!
So up to the Fifth floor
they go.
The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to
prove that women are impossible to please."
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Groom to Be
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer.
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.
When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and
'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony
where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young
man in the eye and says:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish,
serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your
lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."
The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."
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