|
|
|
|
|
Up | On The Road | A Woman | Males & Sex | Adam & Eve | Guide to Women | Just Words | Divorcing | Unsatisfied Male | Misunderstandings | Loving Spouse | Perfect Husbands | Think Quick | Pleasure
|
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after
coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the
car.
The man says, "What's the problem officer?"
Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile
an hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to
ticket you.
Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.
Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man
gives wife dirty look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your
broken tail light.
Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken
tail light!
Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for
weeks! [The man gives his wife another a dirty
look.]
Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not
wearing your seat belt.
Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to
the car.
Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!
The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin'
out loud, can't you just shut up?!"
The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am,
Does your husband talk to you this way all the
time?"
Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's
drunk."
HIS and HERS Road Trip
HERS:
Pulls off at wrong exit.
opens window asks directions of a knowledgeable
police officer
Arrives at destination presently.
HIS:
Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the
correct one.
Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's
right.
Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
Finally rolls down window just to get fresh air
Pulls up to a 7 -11
Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef
jerky
Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the
highway.
Gets back into car.
Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away
from the 7-11.
Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting
this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it
was.
Almost hits a deer
Curses the night
Curses you
Curses the large slurpee
Drives and fiddles with radio.
Yells at you for suggesting the map again
Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your
sister's anyway.
He hates your sister.
Ever since she called him a
pernicious weasel
He had to look up pernicious.
Couldn't find a dictionary.
Finally found a dictionary
Couldn't spell pernicious.
Seethes at the memory of it all
But she is laughing inside...
And of course you're still lost.
Back to Top
Woman Drivers Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I
looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand
new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up
next to her rear view
mirror putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked
back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on
that damn makeup!!!
It scared me (I'm a man) so bad, I dropped my electric
shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the
car using my knees against the steering wheel, it
knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into
the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim
and the Twins, ruined the damn phone......and
disconnected an important call.
DAMN WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
Up | On The Road | A Woman | Males & Sex | Adam & Eve | Guide to Women | Just Words | Divorcing | Unsatisfied Male | Misunderstandings | Loving Spouse | Perfect Husbands | Think Quick | Pleasure
Rednecks | The Sexes | Idiots | Seniors | Dogs & Animals | Doctor's In | Thanksgiving | Lawyers | Religions | The Irish | Massachusetts
|
