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Divorce
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending
divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your
divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little
home in the middle of the property with a stream
running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the
foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,"
she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your
relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and
so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car
carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any
infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets.
We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to
your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a
week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady,
why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied.
"I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He
said he can't communicate with me!"
Jealous Husband
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife.
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video.
They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional,
the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park.
He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.
He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.
The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"
The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"
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Eye On His Wife
A man has to take a business trip overseas so he entrusts his best friend with the
job of keeping an eye on his wife.
If anything out of the ordinary should occur, his friend was to notify him immediately.
After about a week with no contact, the businessman received a telegram containing only one sentence.
"The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday."
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