July 13, 2000--out tonight...

We’re going somewhere w/ alcohol... Zac’s excited.. Ike doesn’t know how we’re going to be... oh man.. well, I hope he’s ready.

samenight--home from club... Oh gawd... let me write this before I forget...

Met up with these two girls.. one of them (Daphne) kept following Zac around and dancing on his ass all night long.. he was so pissed.. but her friend Celeste was cool.. they’re a pop duet here in the UK.. they have two singles out... Celeste’s pretty groovy..
So we danced with them for a while... and we (Zac and I) eventually went back to their flat with them... after saying goodbye to Isaac who refused to leave cuz there were some people there he’d become friends with... he always seems to ditch us..
So we’re at their apartment, just hanging out.. and we got drunk off our asses.. these girls are only 15/16.. i think..
Zac kept trying to keep Daphne off him, but he finally gave up.. he didn’t have the energy anymore... So he let her kiss him a little while.

Celeste and I laughed and went into their kitchen.. We talked about lots of stuff, and we kinda hooked up... meaning, we made out while we were sitting on the table... I’m surprised, I haven’t told zac yet... It’s so confusing.
But she’s a cute girl... I think she has a boyfriend though, and if it gets around that she was making out with Taylor Hanson, I think he’d be a little upset, so I might not even tell anyone because nobody saw.

But I had fun tonight,
TayL

July 15, 2000--Email from Celeste...

Dear Taylor,

Well its gonna be hard for me to do this, and I didnt want it to end this way but.. you know it wasnt gonna last. We both didnt know what we were doing things were a bit crazy. I've liked you for a while and I would've liked us to be 2gether at a different time under different circumstances. We live so far apart... not to mention my b/f I love him and I cant do this to him. Well I hate to say it but I hope we could still be friends. It was fun while it lasted.

xoxo
Celeste

July 15, 2000-- another day older...

William wrote back to the survey I sent out. He called me things I never imagined coming from his lips... but I guess typing gives you the power to say things you wouldn’t normally say. I won’t repeat any of it..
We’re in New York now...Mary’s bringing her friend Dave over and we’re gonna hang out at the hotel for a while.
Celeste keeps sending me email about her touring with Steps (I’d never heard of them) and I keep telling her everything about our tour. She’s a fun girl, I’ll go see her again when I’m in the UK, or if she ever comes back to the USA (she’s from Jersey... but she’s a British pop-star.. I don’t get it..)
Her songs are wicked amusing... but extremely too much pop for me. She doesn’t mind me not liking her singles. (ooh, stick you & u.g.l.y) But she loves ours. I think Mary’s here...

ooh stick you.. your mama too, and your daddy,
TAYLoR

July 20, 2000--bostonmass

We’re in Boston for a week... can you believe that? Sara’s here and Mary’s coming up for a day or two.. with Dave..
I met him once before with Mary. I don’t know if I mentioned that but him, Mary, Zac, Ike and I are going out asap with Sara... I need Isaac to actually participate in my life. I think I’m losing him, but maybe it’s because Zac knows everything about me, and he doesn’t seem to know anything. Maybe if he’d ask I’d tell him about me... but I don’t know how he’d take it.

Dave. Let me tell you about this boy.
He is my height, green eyes, black hair, dresses like Zac (they’ve become friends) And I think I’m in love...
orextremelyattractedtohimanyway
But I won’t tell anyone that just yet.. it’s between you and I.

love,
thanson

same day--waiting for sara...

Dave’s sitting near me, smoking a cigarette and talking about god-knows-what. I’m just watching him... and writing at the same time. Mary seems to be distracted by something outside...fans? But she isn’t listening to him either.. and he’s talking to her. And Ike’s in the shower. Zac’s changing his shirt...I really don’t know what Dave’s talking about... I can’t hear him, he’s doing it so quietly, but I’m sure he doesn’t care either way.
Wait, Sara’s here..

later,
tay-ter

same day--nice.

Sara took us to Newbury street (right down the street from my hotel) and we ate and bought shit and Dave’s so funny sometimes... Mary brought him to cheer me up I guess.. I’m not sure.
But he’s amazing and even Isaac thinks he’s a cool kid. So.... heheh.
I am infatuated...but at the same time...I don’t want a relationship, I’m kinda scared, ya know? What if Dave turns into William? He doesn’t seem gay if you’d just look at him, but to be near him, you know he likes me just as much as I like him. What if he decides he wants a girlfriend from his school and ditches me for a girl named Darcy... Her name was fuckin’ Darcy.. how pathetic?
(I’m sure she never leaves William alone about me tho.. “what’s Taylor’s screenname? Where are they now? Can u get me an autograph?” ha ha...he deserves that)
But right now, it’s about 8 pm and we don’t wanna go out...my dad went out but he’s still in the hotel...we’re just being goof-ups...Zac and Sara are talking about something important and Mary’s looking at me in a weird way so i guess i should interact?
later that night--everyone’s sleeping..

They all fell asleep on the floor in front of the tv. Sara and Zac are hugging on the couch...that’s the cutest thing i’ve seen all day... Mary is on a chair and Ike went to his room.

Earlier Sara and Zac left the room.. wonder where they went.. icemachine? They both have a thing for ice machines. It’s where they first met actually...at an icemachine in Germany. So they like to go push the buttons whenever they get the chance. Sara’s such a 3rd grader.
Mary kidnapped Ike and said she wanted to go swimming.
And then there was David.
We have too much in common... waaaaaaaaaay too much. But he knows I'm scared. But I have no real reason to be scared. I really like dave..
So we were alone...watching the tv...not watching the tv...I gave in...we kissed. But I was so scared my Dad would walk in and see us that I couldn’t even enjoy it. He said something to the extent of “Wanna go somewhere else?” I wanted to go so badly, but “No” came out of my mouth.
Then the door opened and my Dad walked in. My heart jumped out of my chest. Well, it would have if my ribs weren’t there...and he’s like, “I'm tired, goodnight.” And went to his room...
Scared the shit outta me.
And Dave.
And now I’m alone, and they’re sleeping and Dave’s breathing funny... He’s amazing...I have to tell Zac...