august 4, 2000 -- boreddddddd.......

shit, i thought i lost this journal. it's been a really long time since i've seen it. I guess when we were packing i had put it into zac's bag accidentally. oh well. at least I didn't give it to isaac or anything. that would have sucked. nothing all that eventful has happened anyway, so it's not even worth writing.
today i got a phone call from somebody back home. I didn't recognize the phone number that showed up on my cellphone, and they didn't speak. i wonder if it was william, because.. i don't know, it just felt like it was him.
or it could have been his girlfriend Darcy calling me, then hanging up... girls like to do that.
Anyway, we're in LA right now. but we're going home tomorrow. I'm pretty happy about that. and we're going to stay there for a long time. I can't wait for my own bed.

homesick,
Tai

August 8th, 2000 -- i've been home a few days...

HOME is GOOD.
I don't ever want to leave. I hung out with Josh some. we just drove around and got icecream at Braums. it was a time. we met up with his sister and her friend (who Josh has loved for as long as i can remember) then we went to the movie theater at the Woodland Mall to see a movie. His sisters friend is very sweet. I think her name was Vicky, i honestly didn't pay any attention because William was at the movie as well.. small world right? but he was there with his friends, no Darcy in sight.
I kinda wanted to talk to him, so i caught his eye and motioned for him to follow me to the concession stand. he did. he looked almost scared to be talking to me for some reason. Like I was going to hit him.. not that i'd stand much of a chance in a fight with him or anything.
But i just asked him how he was doing. He said fine. I asked about Darcy. He said they broke up a few weeks ago. I said that was too bad. I don't really remember this conversation. It wasn't earth shattering or anything. So i stood in line to get another Dr Pepper and he stood with me and got a Coke. It was kinda nice just standing there with him. It had been so long since we'd been civil towards eachother.

---Taylor

August 9th, 2000 -- happy birthday sara?

I called Sara today. She's not doing so great. It seems like her band has had one too many fights lately.. and missed one too many appearances. her label has had enough of it, and they're being dropped... The company doesn't even want them to do the last CD in their contract.. I feel bad for her, this band was everything to her, it's not fair that the other three didn't care as much about the band.. but i guess Sara will do something solo soon enough, she's too good to just sit on her ass and do nothing about her music.. I invited her down to Tulsa, but she said she was going to go back to canada for a few months, maybe live at home...
I gave the phone to Zac, who i knew would cheer her up better than i ever could, and i grabbed my coat. i didn't know where i wanted to drive to, but I ended up here, at Gypsy Coffeehouse. It's always quiet here and i like the big screen tv they have in the corner to play video games on... which is what i think i'm going to do right now.. later.

TayloR*

same day

i've had way too much coffee. sitting in a coffee shop for five hours will do that to a person. they love that i'm putting their kids through college. :) i'm going home now.. seriously.

same day

ok, so i didn't go home. sue me. i'm actually in downtown tulsa, sitting on this concrete slab thing watching the emptiness of it all. i'm probably going to get ticketed for being out past the 11 o'clock curfew, but it's a nice night, and i don't want it to go to waste....

-bored and alone-
Taylorr

august 12, 2000 - - - something good??

today i got a call from William. He was smiling, i could tell through the phone, and he asked if we could go meet somewhere. I said alright and we made plans to meet up at Braums. He got a ride from his mother, and i drove there in my car. We got strawberry icecreams in waffle cones, what i always get, and we walked around Yale Ave for a little bit. it was warm out and people were driving by and honking at us. i wasn't sure if it was because we're cute, or because they recognized us, but William suggested we go someplace else.
Let me tell you, before i tell Zac, that we hooked up again. it felt really good to kiss him again, and he appologized for everything he said before. i accepted.. he was so sincere.
i think i can remember most of this conversation.

William: it wasn't me talking, it was my mother.
Me: yeah, i know.
William: I never meant to hurt you, and I know all those things that i said were so hurtful, i couldn't even sleep at night. it was like i was...
Me: denying who you are?
William: you always know what i'm thinking.
Me: don't worry about it... really. it's all past.
William: I don't think i would have been so forgiving.

we said more, but i forget because we started to make out shortly after. heheh.. it was... fun.

happy i guess,
T.