march15, 2000--my birthday is over
I sit alone in the dark because I'm afraid of them asking too many questions.
ifeeloldenoughalready,
I sit alone and I wonder if keeping secrets is the best way to deal with my prying family, the way they collectively stare at me, their eyes gazing into the back of my head, seeing the pictures hanging there... the pictures that are wrong to them. The pictures they would want to rid me of. The pictures that are keeping me alive.
I know they must see me for who I really am, but are they just ignoring what they see as a problem, as a phase, as a threat to the structural integrity of this family? Are they ignoring what I do, because they don't want to accept me fully?
I'm glad my birthday is over...
ttaylorr hhansonn
march16, 2000--down... deep down...
Australia? Austrailia?
Never could remember the spelling.
But that's where we are... down under. It's getting cold here, it's getting warm in the US... I'd rather be home, but there really isn't anywhere I feel safe anymore... except behind my keyboard.. and with William or Sara..
Photo shoot time.
I need some DayQuil, I have the worse cold.. and this headache hasn't gone away in days...
Promotionally yours,
J-Taylor-H
march24, 2000--save me
William wrote to me (email) and I feel such relief. It's been too many long days without hearing from him.
Now if only Sara would write back, I know she's on tour somewhere (NYC? Boston?) with her band... but I also know she's got a computer.... *sigh*
But William wrote to me and that's all I needed.. he's going through some shit right now, I guess his parents are threatening to kick him out of the house (again?) and I wrote back that he could come on tour with us... but we both know that's impossible.
So, he's also got this thing going... he's starting a 'zine... with Sara.. online.
I'm glad they've become friends so fast...
Maybe I'll write to Sara :0) She probably misses me...
Yeah, I'll go do that I guess..
YAWN,
Taylor H.
march26, 2000--play
This morning I found a link in my mailbox... didn't know who it was from.. didn't recognize the email address, but I clicked it anyway... for lack of better things to do...
Turns out it was William.. he sent me to this stupid sight he made where I had to keep clicking this fricken button until it drove me mad (javajava).. and the only reward was a picture of him and I last year at laser quest... it was a nice day, we had gone bowling then to play some laser tag.. you could see the wall of fame behind us and everything... he has his arm around me and I have mine around him..
I guess that was the best reward I could have recieved..
I printed it out and stuck it in the front of this journal....
sappy/happy,
Taylor
march30, 2000-- no aloha?
William hasn't written back to my last email... I asked him if he wanted to meet up in NYC in May...
tired,
Tay
