Batman Begins
Like most nerds of the comic world I did come up with my own idea for a superhero. The name of my book: The Gradual Death of Doctor Justice. Now, I know you're thinking, "Ryan, what the hell are you talkign about?... and by the way, you sure are attractive". Thank you. And I'll tell you about my comic right now:

The main character is a man named Oliver Drake. Like most would-be superheroes Oliver Drake is a leading scientist in his field. Oliver lives in a world where superheroes are all over the news, magazines and seen on the the streets fighting crime. Oliver Drake wants in. He's tired of being a penicl pushing, nine to fiver; he wants to be a superhero. Being a scientist, he starts plans on a way to turn a normal person into the most power super person in the world. All his tests with animals are hit or miss, but Oliver knows that if he could just have a human subject his new super potion would work.
One night Oliver goes into the local pub to drink his frustration away and he meets a man sitting at the bar by himself. This man turns out to be a drifter; no family, no home, no one who would miss him. After buying this man a few, Oliver persuades him to be involved in a few "tests" for matters of "national security". They go back to Oliver's research lab... which Oliver thinks is empty. Oliver injects the drifter with his elixir. At first everything looks great, the man has super strength, super speed and even super intelligence. Then, all at once, the man drops dead: heart failure, brain aneurysm, and multiple other complications. Right at that moment one of Oliver's collegues walks in and sees the dead man on the floor. Oliver has no idea what to do and rushes out of the room.
Oliver had to disapear, he was now wanted for murder, he went into hiding. He spends the next several years, and his life savings, perfecting a belt that would turn him into a superhero. When he finally gets it to work he puts it on and does infact become a fantastically powered super being. He calls him self Doctor Justice.
Doctor Justice becomes loved around the world. He's able to stop villians other, more popular superheroes, had tired and failed to. he is truly the superier hero.
But after a few months of being Doctor Justice, Oliver realizes that his body can't handle becoming Doctor Justice. Whenever he uses the belt it deteriorates his body (and mental well being). He also realizes that if his body dies as Oliver Drake, not even his belt, with it's seemily limitless power, could keep him alive. The real problem is: Oliver is addicted to the raw power, respect, and influence he has as Doctor Justice... even though he knows it will kill him.

That's all for now.






Ryan "I Don't Know Either" Davis

Five Shot Venti Caramel Nonfat No Whip Extra Hot Three-Pump Mocha
So, I bought a computer. It's pretty cool. I thoroughly enjoy it. Here's the story of what happened when I went to buy it: I go to Best Buy and I tell some guy there I want to get this deal that ended that day (cuz it came with a moniter and printer and had some mail in re-bates) and he goes and gets it all for me. I proceed to tell him I will pay with my ATM card. Unknown to me I had some sort of daily spending limit on my card that would not let me spend $800, so I'm like "fuck". I tell them to hold the computer and such and I'd be back before they close. I went to an ATM and withdrew my maximum of $300 dollars, then Charlotte happened to have $100 of Christmas money (for Christmas or from Christmas is yet to be determined) at her house. That obviously was not enough. So, I called my good friend Nikos and told him I need his money. He met me at Best Buy and paid for my computer with his ATM card (though from the same bank did not have the same limit). I gave him the four hundred dollars I had on hand, then the next day I gave him four hundred dolalrs more. I also gave charlotte back a hundred. In conclusion, Wells Fargo can blow my gay-hole.

Nikos Pictured Below

Punisher comes out on Friday. He is awesome. When all of you realize how awesome he is, feel free to read my ample comic books about him. I even have the issue where the Punisher meets Archie! Infact, I have two of that issue. If you don't go see the Punisher this weekend I will throw acid in your face.


In other news: I just ate four Starbucks Sandwiches.

New Computer












Ryan "May Complicate Pregnancy" Davis

Boba Booe, Boba Booe, Howard Stern's Penis!
I haven't written in my web log for a long time. This is mostly due to the fact that when I am online I'd rather spend my time playing Insaniquarium. (Most of you probably got tired of this game a long time ago, but I didn't) For those of you who do not know this game, it involves feeding fish and combating aliens. It's hours upon hours of fun.

Recently I've been thinking about something and I'd like to share it with you. I think we should get all the people on the Atkins diet to fight with all the Veagans. I'm sure they have a lot of conflicting views about the way they eat (which makes them a total prick all the time), so they should all just fight and kill eachother off.

-a side note: I ran this through spell check and where I had put "Veagans" it suggested that I use "Vaginas", spell check knows what's up.

I'd take wacky picture of myself doing stuff, but I lost my digital camera. Until I find it, you can have this picture which we have all come to know and love.

Oh yea, I bought the Critic DVD and man that shit is goooood. If you don't own it, buy it. If you don't have enoguh money to buy it, get a job you no good leech on society. And speaking of buying, I figured out I spend about $30 dollars a week on comics. That's more than a lot of smokers spend on cigarettes... it's worth it though. That way when I see movies like Spider-Man and The Punisher I can be that annyoing guy saying "that's so inacurate to the comic"

I read "Startling Stories: Banner", it's a four part series about the Hulk just going ape-shit and killing hundreds of innocent people everytime he becomes the Hulk. So anyway, there's this guy, Samson, who is trying to stop the Hulk. At one point Samson tells this pilot to shoot a missle at the Hulk, and this is the dialogue they had after:

Pilot: You're not gonna believe this
Samson: Try me.
Pilot: He's mad
Samson: Of course he's mad, that's all he's capable of being
Pilot: No, I mean at the ground. 'Cause it just exploded in his face. Now he's mad at it.
Samson: Really? Guess I was wrong. He's capable of being an idoit too.

Hilarity at it's best, go read it.











Ryan "She uses magazines" Davis

Tangerine Speedo
So, I'm pretty tired. I opened and closed today at Diedrich's. I'm not complaining, cuz I'm a super robot who doesn't really need sleep, I just do it to keep up my human facade. The real reason I said I was tired is cuz this isn't gonna be the best entry in my highly advanced Web Log (I'm lazy). And speaking of Diedrich's, I quit there today. Everyone started crying, it was totally sad. Then they offered me a million dollars an hour... and an aqua-car bi-weekly to stay there. I declined the offer due to the fact that I sold my soul to Starbucks ealrier in the day.



Also today at Diedrichs this girl came in (she was hott, but don't tell Charlotte) and she was all kinds of flirting with me. Then she said something to her friend about going to see Capo's air guitar tomorrow. Then I was like "dude, I was totally in air guitar in high school" and she was like "me too". Then it turns out she was in it 2001 (so was I), but I don't remember any hott girls from that year besides the Sirens (this girl wasn't a siren)... so I guess she got hot in the past 3 years.
Moral of the story: Ugly girls, there's hope for you all.
Side-note: I totally wasn't interested in her, depite her hottness.



Snake-boards are way too hard.



If you like readin comics at all and are even mildly interested in the X-men, you should read the New X-Men paperback trades, starting with "E is for Extintction". Man, it's good. If it were a woman (or possibly a warmed up bagel) I'd totally have sex with it.










Ryan "Xorn" Davis

Tickle Face
I've been doing a lot of interesting things lately. I spent about $40 on comic books this week, that was pretty exciting. I bought tickets to the "Save Eric" concert on March 26th featuring such bands as Reel Big Fish, The Aquabats, Starpool, Lit, Suburban Lengends, Homegrown, and the Forces of Evil. If you're not at this show, like me and Danny will be, you are a total narc and nobody likes you.

I found this awesome cartoon series called "Napster Bad". It would have been a lot better if I would have known about it like 4 years ago when it was topical, but better late than never. I recommend watching MetalliCOPS, it's number 2. After that watch Metallica: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (#3). They are awesome. Thank you Camp Chaos, thank you. The G.I. Joe Shorts are also pretty funny. Check them out.

The other day at school it was raining, and this girl was totally just wearing a clear trashbag over her body. it didn't have any holes poked in it or anything, she was just in a trashbag. What a Dueschfag.

Also, I rented Shanghai Knights. It was pretty cool. I really just had to get my Owen Wilson fix cuz I tried to see Starsky and Hutch and it was sold out for the night. (sad face)

I was trying to think of a cool picture I could put at the end of this entry. I couldn't find one.

In other news I was reading the Bible recently and on two seperate occasions God was mad at a king for taking a census. (1 Chronicles 21:1) I guess it's wrong to want to know how many people are in your kingdom. Who knows? The Bible has a lot of interesting stuff in the there. The one I have, I took from a hotel I stayed at once (Yes, you're allowed to take those! That's why the Gideon's put them there! Jerk!) Futhermore, Satan is usually referred to as specific people in the Bible (if you don't beleive me read 1 Chronicles 21:1 then 2 Samuel 24:1). Never as some ruler of hell (that I can find). A few times it was said that a particular satan would be cast to hell (in more colorful words than my own). And I can only find one mention of this "Lucifer" (Isaiah 14:12) and if you read that passage he does sound like fallen angel... but if you read before and after that in Iasiah, not just that passage, it seems more obvious that they are refering to a king (a man) who thought himself mightier than God. And in some versions of the Bible it doesn't even say "Lucifer", it says "Morning Star" which is what Lucifer translates to. The real point is I always thought Lucifer to be Satan who was a fallen angel/ruler of hell. The more I read though, Lucifer seems to be a guy and satan seems to be more of a concept. Also Jesus is refered to as the Morning Star on (Job 38:7) He even calls himslef that!(Revelations 22:16). It's just weird. Why do they call this Lucifer and Jesus Morning Star? Furthermore, Morning Star? That's Venus yo, the brightest star in the morning sky... which is soon over powered by the sun's light... not such a flattering term if you ask me. Oh well. The end.















Ryan "there's a radio in my fingernail, Car!" Davis

Vicious Fabricated Rumors
Today at school I wanted a Gatorade. So I went over to the machine and looked at the flavors. They had: Lemon-lime, fruit punch, orange and glacier freeze. The problem I had is that I have no idea what glacier freeze is. Is it just frozen water that moves incredibly slow? I don't know. How hard would it be to just call it by what flavor it is? I'm sure if they named it after the flavor they would have saved money by not having to pay some genius to come up with glacier freeze. Come on people! I want to buy your product, I really do. Help me out here.

Also my accounting class is seriously raping me.

And for no reason at all:

Ryan "Fast Times at Saddleback College" Davis



P.S. I ended up not buying any gatorade at all

Pocket Full of Shells
So this whole weekend I've been Home Alone. It's been pretty cool... except for when Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci broke into my house. Although, that was quite the adventure. It went a little something like this:

Daniel Stern: y'know, I was in this movie once called Very Bad Things
Joe Pesci: So fucking what?
Daniel Stern: It was a dark comedy, pretty cool, did you see it?
Joe Pesci: Did I see it? Who fucking cares if I saw it?
Daniel Stern: I just thought you might like it
Joe Pesci: I just thought you might like it, blah blah blah. I was in fucking Goodfellas. Who cares about your stupid movie!
Daniel Stern: ...yknow, I did the voice-over on the Wonder Years
Joe Pesci:wow, good job not acting
Daniel Stern:why you gotta be so mean all the time?
Joe Pesci:Why do I got to be so mean all the time? Why do I got to be so mean all the time? Cause Marisa Tomei gets a fucking Oscar for My Cousin Vinny, and what do I get for my starring role in that movie? The fucking karate kid leaving messages on my answering machine wanting to hang out.
Daniel Stern: ...remember Home Alone?
Joe Pesci: That's where we got the idea to break into houses shit for brains, remember?
Daniel Stern: oh yea... whatever happened to that little whiney kid with the scream and the swinging paint cans?
Joe Pesci: Wasnt he in that Mel Gibson movie, Signs?
Daniel Stern: Oh yea, thoses aliens freaked me out
Ryan Davis: you guys gonna rob me or something?
Joe Pesci: ...I guess not, wanna go shoot up
Daniel Stern: yea





In other news I recommend not reading the Incredible Hulk. It just kinda sucks right now. But I'll keep reading, and wait for it to get good again.


















Ryan "Die Another" Davis

I'm Passionate about the Christ
Basically I was just bored and decided to play with the gif generator I found on my computer.

Ryan "Skeet Skeet Skeet" Davis

Feed My Frankenstein
I bought Matchstick Men. That's a great movie. I have a big ol' crush on Nicholas Cage. If you don't like him I strongly suggest renting Gone in 60 Seconds, Adaptation, Matchstick Men, and even the Rock if you're feeling sassy. I've also been watching Blow every time it's on the TV. That movie never lets me down. Just when you start getting bored with a movie about marijuana, it becomes a movie about cocaine. Splendid. I'm not a big Johnny Depp fan, but that movie is awesome.

I was driving my car today and I was thinking about what kind of awesome car I would be driving if I had as much money as I deserve. I think it would be some kind of modified Cadillac. It'd be about 14 feet long, suicide doors in the back, giant tail fins and one of those new V-16 engines Cadillac makes. I'd be even more rad than I currently am if I had that car.

Yours Truly,

Ryan "Can't buy a bucket" Davis

Reusable Bug Jar!
By all accounts I should have had the worst day of work ever today. It was just me and my boss, so we were under staffed. I'd been up since 4:30 so I was really tired. And it got really busy for no good reason. But honestly I was having a great time. I think my good friend Abby put me in a wonderful mood before she left.

 

I guess that's not the most flattering picture of her. She has blonde hair now. And her eyes are usually open. And she smiles a lot. I think I made the neccessary adjustments.

 

That's my Abby, and I love her to death.















Ryan "the bong in this raggae song" Davis