mid day thoughts
Mood:  chatty
So last night I did my first non training night at work. It went pretty well and I feel I started a good relationship with the men on the dock and in the company. Everything went smoothly and I can see myself doing this for a while. Meaning this is probably the first job Ive had in ages where I feel I fit in and can make a difference. I imagine thats good...lol.
In other news I heard from boy Skloner today. It always is cool to hear from my best friend. I wish I could see him more often, but being in Va the trip somehow never comes through. The worst thing is I havent been down there since his wedding (four years ago) and probably another 2 years before that.I understand our friendship is well and sometimes wish Id put more of a priority in calling and going to see him, but something like my wedding, family plans and my honeys planning I never see time to make the effort. I know he'll always be there, I just...eh ...things will work out one of these days.
Lastly and speaking of my overly organized and highly planned fiance, Im going shopping in about an hour to get curtains,lamps an airconditioner and a microwave stand for the apartment we're moving into June 15th. Now Ive been very supportive through this whole design, furrniture, shopping extravaganza. I just laugh at how things must be done now or the world will end. My light understanding of women shows that 95% of them are like this. Like if the stuff is not done 3-4 weeks b4 hand it'll never get done. Not saying to be procrastinating to the last minute. But how in the hell do you save money that way..lmao. I mean I got my second check since starting this job and also my tax return check, and Ive seen barely enough dough to live on.I've been warned and have seen this stuff first hand, but when your learning this process and realizing the independence of your ownself is gone, its a tough step to accept. I mean, WOW.lol I guess...ok mean I WILL learn this process very well, its just wild to think about how life changes so quickly......
something to ponder
Anyway i gots to go shop and stuff,so I'll be ranting later
Lata Lata

ok here we go
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: my first entry
Wow so this is a blog..lol. Ok well First and foremost Ill intro this blog saying that I will be ranting a ton. I always have something to say in great length and never know how to put it short but..umm ok. here we go.
Tonight for the first time in my life I found out my fathers life story. Funny hows it taken until Im 29 to hear about it. I never knew why I never had this talk, but ok I did. It lasted about 2 hours and Unbelieveably I didnt do much of the talking.I came to find out about the young Edward and his 7 years of army experience that included korea vietnam germany and three different locations in the states. You would never know my father was an army man. HE just doesnt seem the stereotypical armed forces man. In my lifetime Ive heard him talk army once (now twice). But to hear what stuff he went through and some of the crazy shit he did was baffling. To know my own alcoholism is generic and that my temper and arrogance do come from him made me take step back from my 29 year career in life and look at my father in more of a friend kinda way. Like meeting someone for the first time and hearing there life stories and then coming to realize that you came(literally) from him.
What an amazing conversation it was. It actually drove me to my comp and basically made me sit down and start this blog. The overhwhelming feel of guilt has overcome me and I know ponder the thought of my future plans of being a father. I love telling people stories in my life. I'm almost certain Im gonna be that old annoying man that doesnt shut the fuck up about anything and talks to much. but those things I dream come true, yet I realize know I never gave my father ,up til this point,the opportunity to speak his life to me and pass on his legacy. Where the fuck have I been?
I dunno life has its way of bringing you away from moments such as this. You know work, sleep,social events or just plan lack of care, but why now? Why not earlier? I mean Im emphatic about those two hours of my life because now i know. but wow...
What I do know now is the boy and the man my dad has become. His life story has explained much to me about my own and explains a ton about him and his ways.What an amazing thing to find out.

Anyway, Im gonna try to get on here and vent daily and kinda just keep a journal/diary and if you are reading this and feel me on this or any subject please feel free to respond or email me (bbloom55@hotmail.com)(subject: blog)
Lata Lata