Abuse

Abuse comes in many forms. A person can be physically, sexually or emotionally abused. Even neglect is considered abuse. Below you will find the definitions of different kinds of abuse. You may be surprised because you may not think that some things are considered abuse. It may be considered by some that things must be on one side of the spectrum to be considered abuse.

There are some things that are universally viewed as abuse. One could also argue that many rites of passage for children in more primitive cultures (endured mostly by boys but sometimes by girls) are also abuse. I'm not going to get into that right now because in my opinion it is not the same thing. If you or someone you know has one or more of these things happening, they are being abused and need help. *To avoid confusion, I will refer to abusers as men not out of discrimination, but because the overwhelming majority of abusers are men. (Except maybe in the cases of emotional abuse or neglect. The scales are probably closer to even in these situations).*

This information is only to be used as a guide. I do not try to determine if someone is being abused. Only the person being abused can determine if it is true. If you think, however, that someone you know is being abused, you should try to help them in any way you can. You should make yourself available in case they need to talk. You can read more about this by clicking here.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse occurs when an adult (male or female) does any of the following things to a child:

• Exposes themselves to a child
• Asks (or forces) a child to expose himself/herself
• Talks about sex (in a pornographic sort of way) with a child
• Fondles themselves in front of a child
• Asks (or forces) a child to fondle them
• Asks (or forces) a child to touch himself/herself
• Asks (or forces) a child to perform any sexual act
• Shows a child pornography
• Describes sexual fantasies to a child
• Asks a child personal questions about sex (are you a virgin? have you ever looked at someone's ***, etc.)

This list includes anything else that an adult would do to get sexual favors or gratification from a child. This is a real problem in our society and many people don't want to think about it or even acknowledge that it is happening at such an alarming rate. It effects all people, of every race, religion, color, social class and gender. It doesn't only happen in poor families, many, many middle class and wealthy children have been abused. Some were abused by a family member. Or maybe it was a teacher or another trusted adult. It may have even been an older sibling who was the abuser. The point is, don't assume that you are above this type of abuse for any reason. Chances are, you know someone who has been abused (or an abuser) and you don't even know it.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse occurs when a person (male or female) does any of the following things to a child:

• Tells them they are stupid
• Puts them down
• Tells them that they will never be loved
• Withholds affection as punishment
• Makes them feel guilty or blames them for things