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Created: 11/16/01

Updated: 07/09/08


This site deals with sexual abuse, incest, rape, domestic violence and the difficult issues that survivors and their families face. The content may be triggering to some survivors. While some things may be difficult to read, I felt it necessary to share my story and provide information to inform and educate survivors, partners of survivors and parents. Sexual abuse and incest have always been shrouded in ignorance and only now have survivors found their voices to speak out and reveal the secrets that they have lived with, some for many years. This site also serves as a tribute to all survivors, whose courage is immeasurable in that we have all faced alienation, fear, and the most difficult, the pain within ourselves.

The pain that sexual abuse causes lasts much longer than childhood itself. Many women will have lifelong struggles to maintain some normalcy in their lives. Contrary to popular belief, many children do not show any "signs" that they are being abused. The sooner the abuse starts and the longer it continues, the better children become at hiding it. Many children don't show any signs of fear when their abuser is around. The abuser is skilled at getting the trust of their intended victims and they are also good and maintaining control over the child.


We don't have accurate statistics concerning sexual abuse because most cases aren't reported. It is estimated that 1 out of every 3 girls and 1 out of every 4 boys is a survivor of sexual abuse. Of these, 90% or more have been abused by someone they trusted, such as a family member or a family friend. Even if the abuse is reported, many abusers will never spend a day in prison. There isn't always any hard evidence and it is usually the child's word against the abuser's. Research shows that children don't usually make up stories about sexual abuse (there are always exceptions though). Problems with the story becoming distorted are often caused by poor interrogation techniques.

One source suggests that the average pedophile molests at least 260 children in his lifetime. Survivors are more likely to abuse children themselves. They are also at higher risk for drug abuse, alcoholism, and emotional problems. They are more likely to engage in risky behavior such as having unprotected sex, increasing the risk of STDs and unintended pregnancy.

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