Introduction
This site deals with sexual abuse, incest, rape, domestic violence and
the difficult issues that survivors and their families face. The content
may be triggering to some survivors. While some things may be
difficult to read, I felt it necessary to share my story and
provide information to inform and educate survivors, partners
of survivors and parents. Sexual abuse and incest have always been shrouded
in ignorance and only now have survivors found their voices to
speak out and reveal the secrets that they have lived with, some
for many years. This site also serves as a tribute to all survivors,
whose courage is immeasurable in that we have all faced alienation,
fear, and the most difficult, the pain within ourselves.
The pain that sexual abuse causes lasts
much longer than childhood itself. Many women will have lifelong
struggles to maintain some normalcy in their lives. Contrary
to popular belief, many children do not show any "signs"
that they are being abused. The sooner the abuse starts and the
longer it continues, the better children become at hiding it.
Many children don't show any signs of fear when their abuser
is around. The abuser is skilled at getting the trust of their
intended victims and they are also good and maintaining control
over the child.
Statistics
We don't have accurate statistics concerning
sexual abuse because most cases aren't reported. It is estimated
that 1 out of every 3 girls and 1 out of every 4 boys is a survivor of sexual abuse. Of these, 90% or more have been abused by someone
they trusted, such as a family member or a family friend. Even
if the abuse is reported, many abusers will never spend a day
in prison. There isn't always any hard evidence and it is usually
the child's word against the abuser's. Research shows that children
don't usually make up stories about sexual abuse (there are always
exceptions though). Problems with the story becoming distorted
are often caused by poor interrogation techniques.
One source suggests that the average pedophile molests at least
260 children in his lifetime. Survivors are more likely to abuse children themselves.
They are also at higher risk for drug abuse, alcoholism, and
emotional problems. They are more likely to engage in risky behavior
such as having unprotected sex, increasing the risk of STDs and
unintended pregnancy.
