metaphor
in my room, clothes are on the floor, computers exist without covers, cd's are loose, there are dirty dishes, piles of recites and tax info, textbooks and note books on the floor.

the light in my closet doesn't work.

i need to put my carpet down at some point.

and some other stuff too...

Who's happy?
i get the feeling that happy is an inflated term for a state most people expect more of. i hear people say "gee, i wonder why i'm not happy. i'm content, but shouldn't i be happy?" my theory is that the term happy used to mean a nice comfortable contentness, which most people have no problem reaching. but now, it's some impossible, unreachable euphoria. and we're all striving for it.

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erika accused me of not blogging enough.

LIVE IN THE NOW... and other danforth titles...
My goal in life is to live in the moment... It doesn't make sense to live life waiting for future events. The final event is death and I'm certainly not looking forward to that. kate, 24/10/03

my friends seem to have a problem deal with the here and now in a way that they find meaning full. so i thought i'd (to use the lexicon,) speak on this...
i'm of two minds on this topic, one cynical, the other less so, which one first?

the cynical
one possiblitily is that, this is as good as it gets, so if your good now, enjoy it, because tomorrow is just more work, sorrow, ups, downs, kisses, hugs, dumps, beers, blogs, lectures, hangovers, evil clients... etc...

how can i put it so it's not so evil sounding...
think of it this way. today was once a tomorrow, it's just a matter of perspective. (or time travel). tomorrow has all the possiblities that today has, it's just further away.

on the even nicer sound side of my ever split brain, i find that living in the moment is something that is done, not planned. which of course makes sense. it's not something that you do. you don't say: i'm going to live in the moment now. it's just how you act.
and it's not for everyone, or all the time. it can lead to unfinished homework. ahh... homework... where will i be without you? that's the real issue, ain't it? the strange balance between id and superego... the homework and the party, the sloth and the pride...

DAVE!

relax on the crazyness...

alright... sorry.

but do you know what i mean?

RAAADDDDIIIIOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
here i am, sitting infront of a radio control board. and they just swore on air!!!!!!!! silly people.

other then that, radioland is surpising. i think we've taken the wrong aproach. i think we need to think LESS script and more fun!

UGH! i hate mistakes.

bLoG
yah, so now we all have blogs, at it special? i hope so.


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i like this picture

anyway, the school week from hell is finally over, with 3 assignments and 3 midterms now behind me, so what do i do? it's erika's fault of course!
I know, i've got only my self to blam. but i blam my self for enough. it all works out.


i'm worried about someone close to me. actually i'm worried about meny people close to me. but some more imediately, and maybe i can do something. or maybe i can't.
ever wish you'd know the out come before trying? me too.
anyway, i'm seeing patterns of behaviour in someone very close to me that i've seen before, and then bad things happened. should i try and stop it? or should i leave it be? i should try, but, without giving away any details, AND being as vauge as possible,i worry that bringing up things will make them worse. what do you do in this situation?



music is emotional content for me. i found that if nothing else, playing music is the healthest way for me to get SO much endorphines in a group setting. (no jokes please).

A Poem

music for now,

the trail of how

i sink or swim

and it all looks grim

Byron should listen to chest fever, by the band :-?

Quizzies

You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.

"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility." Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
(Indian). The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
wood. His sign is the crescent moon. As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

nice.

Work and Play
today, i was informed that it was not to late to turn around, to regroup, to pull out of the downward spiral that would hurt me in the future.

... and there are people you can to talk to, if your feeling overwhelmed, confused, or whatever...

now, i know what your thinking, dave, you've been harassed by religious fanatics! but no, my friends, this was not the case. in fact, in this case, this was a prof. now, how we're suposed to gauge our rate of failure based on no feed back is quite impressive...

victor has a point. it is a thin line which is enough work. not so much that you get stung out, and not so little as... well... that ones pretty obvious.

so, the plan then, is to keep up the good work, right?

sure dave...

______________________

p.s.

POST IN THE COMMENTS, PLEASE!

Monday mornin'
all around the aeroplane
the clouds a purple pink
sink quieting in to the ether
pity the plane as flies into
the rain of tomorrow.

people in the plane train
their eyes through the night sky
to find what?s lost among them.
all around the people say
they dreamed of nothing

you think they?re wrong?
find what you dream of
tonight to be something
of the sky, and know why
they dreamed of nothing

morning rolls in
people may wake or may sleep in
and find that lovers
have left them while
they dreamed of nothing

lovers and airplanes
take flight far to often
when rain rolls in, life
hops in it?s coffin and
wakes up in the rain.

Yep, i'm a dumbass,
But not always.

i don't mean to drink my self so stupid i can't g out the next day. i think this is the first time i've done this and had it actually cause me to miss something i wanted to do. i feel bad having missed my friends, and let them down. i'm sorry you guys.

anywho, i guess that just goes to show you that the media emblished wonder years business is a big ol' pile.

or, at least the image of the wonderyears.

Thank's Ali

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in other news, i've joined that cause of rebel radio. checkout SpiritLIVE

now, you may listen to this and here, talk, or hiphop, or whatever, and think boring but the truth is, spiritlive is the shit, and i'll tell you why.

ZERO censorship. every single person working there is student. the only control is quality. so check it out and spread the word. and we're talking 2nd week in november.

normally i don't get that excited about this sort of thing, but this is a special case. SpiritLIVE has potential to be a real force in media.

son of a bitch
this sucker deleted my first blog. well then.

it's this sorta thing that makes me HATE the future so much more. cause the future is full of lost data. my blog existed, and now exists only as my thoughts. but some where in the ether of some information block on some computer is sits.

taunting me.

so what's with logic?
are emotion and logic so unmixable. isn't it possible to be emotional about a logical solution. Or to rationalise emotion using logic?

yep
that's what i think about.

so what's with fake stuff?
and who call's it. like, if i'm listening to music that makes me fell emotional, is that because i'm nuts, or is it the music. if someone else listens to it, and doesn't get the same buzz, who's wrong? where are the absolutes when you need them?

i wish i had faith in some moral system without worring about what failures it's come up with in the past. then i could have a moral basis from which to view the world, not just my societies weak justifications for things. hmmm...

stuff you learn from books isn't like have memories.

they say we learn history to prevent the mistakes of the past. well, that's only if you understand those mistakes. so it's the learning that gives us basis to understand that's far more important.

yes?
no?

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so, i'm paranoid that these so called golden years are suposed to be coming up to they end, and i'm not sure if they've been golden. or maybe that's just a nastalgic notion of those who are creating them in the media.

how many drunkin' nights should there be?

well,
you tell me.