Having just come thru this ...this is close to my heart. I am embarrassed and sad to say it took me years to break free and finally understand, and see, what he was doing to me.  I'm one of the lucky ones. I survived... bruised and battered but not beaten! If I can help just one person - I'll be happy!

"Emotional Abuse"

He does enough damage with his mouth and his mind. He doesn't need to use his hands to hurt you - to burn you with the iron, or break your bones. It's all the same - it's called ABUSE!

Abuse of any kind, at any time, is potentially fatal to the victim.

There are types of abuse more destructive than physical abuse. Abuse where he hits on your soul and your self-esteem. If you let him, he'll destroy you. That's what he wants to do. He doesn't even have to destroy you himself. He'll beat you down till you destroy yourself. Or - you'll just wither away inside. This is called - "Emotional Abuse"

Abusers wear many hats and many different faces. And the victim is so convinced that it is her fault, that she goes back for more, and helps the abuser do it, because she feels she owes it to him and she feels so guilty and so worthless that she knows he's right and that she deserves it.

You let him do these things. If you don't do exactly what he says, he lets you know that he'll tell everyone how bad you are.

Some control a person - their every act, and every move and every thought. They destroy their confidence in themselves, isolating them, frightening them. They might tell you that you are nothing without them. They might tell you that they "own" you.

They might take your free will away from you.

They are all different forms of abuse - but just as painful, just as dangerous and just as lethal as the kind that leave bruises.

What he does is very effective. He wants you to believe you'll never make it without him. Then you'll need him, and he can do anything he wants to you.

People in healthy relationships don't make decisions for each other, don't conceal information, don't tell each other they are worthless or that they are poor white trash and will wind up back in the gutter if the other leaves. That's abuse!

Eventually, the abuser pretends to be the victim. Accusing the abused of lying, stealing, cheating, abusing, hurting them - the actual abuser. He does this to make you feel guilty and defensive. He makes you feel responsible for what he does and portrays himself as the victim. He is a sociopath - a man without a conscience.

It's not that you are stupid - you're mesmerized, and the abuser is infinitely convincing. But you're too close to him to see the pattern of what he's doing to you. You’re friends and family will try to tell you - but you are in denial and won't listen to them - eventually pulling away from them.

It's a long road until you reach safety. Even when you get there, you'll want to go back sometimes. You'll miss him. The way he makes you feel. Not the bad times - but the good ones.

Abusive men are very clever. There is a tremendous potency to that particular kind of poison. It makes women want more, because the good times are so sweet, but the bad times are awful. It's a little bit like giving up smoking or drugs. Abuse, as terrible as it is, is addictive.

He will make you a lot of promises and threaten you. He'll try everything to keep you - like a drug dealer offering you your drug of choice.

When he senses you moving away from him he will do everything he can to terrorize you back into his control. The more independent, the healthier you get, the less he will like it.

Abusers are like jungle animals. They have highly honed perceptions and defenses. If he senses his prey getting away from him - he'll try to make you feel frightened, crazy and hopeless. He'll try to convince you there is no way out. That it's hopeless. That you're nothing without him.

He will call you poor white trash or a whore. He will try to isolate you from your friends and family.

You need to get so strong that he can't touch you, wherever you are, because you won't let him. No one can protect you from him but yourself.

It takes time, be patient. You'll know when you're ready to leave the relationship. When you've had enough and are strong enough.

When you go thru that tunnel... when you find a way to escape - you will come out a new person. You will feel an enormous sense of calm and peace - within yourself! A happiness like you've probably never experienced before.

Good Luck!