Mood:  silly

My co-workers and I were just talking about popcorn lung, which is the most disgusting euphamism I've heard for a disease in a long time. I made popcorn, which started this whole conversation, and now I've learned a lesson. Like most things in life, you'll be just fine as long as you don't inhale.

Of course, talking about popcorn lung leads directly to my primary topic of this blog entry: General Hospital. I've started watching this again, in the form of General Hospital: Night Shift, which is a weekly one-hour long special episode of the show. This is the GH I like: it's one hour a week, not five, it features some of my fav characters (though not Alexis), it's funny, smart, and dramatic without being too cheesy. And have I mentioned it's only an hour a week? It's like a daytime primetime daytime drama. It's perfect.

However... seeing as they're *both* General Hospital, the original and NS seem like they should have some sort of connection. You know, what happens on NS is reflected or at least acknowledged on the original. We used to run into this when Port Charles was on the air, but then it was something like it's raining on GH but not on PC.

Now with NS you get things like Maxie is on her deathbed in the hospital... and then on GH she's sleeping with anything with three legs, if you get what I mean. I only caught one episode of GH (They said Rick Springfield was going to perform. He didn't. I think I might have been a week early. Or late. I should really pay closer attention to these things. I WISH THAT I HAD JESSE'S GIRL!). It's possible there are more examples of this blatant disregard of time. Unless there are *two* Maxies - sick Maxie and well Maxie. Which wouldn't surprise me. It *is* a soap opera.

There's this character on both GH and NS named Spinelli, who is hysterical - he's totally like 90% of the guys I went to college with: a computer guy who can barely communicate with the general public. An example? He wanted to ask a girl out on a date... for dinner... and then back to his place so she could watch him play video games and observe his VG prowess. Heh. I love Spinelli.

So Spinelli created this video game on the internet that features Stone Cold - Spinelli's nickname for Jason. I think GH should totally market this game. Come on - the first soap opera to create a video game? A beat-em-up, shoot-em-down video game? It would be perfect! It would open up the show to an entirely new market.

Plus Steve Burton is hot. I certainly wouldn't mind having him at my command. :o)

Later!
Laura

P.S. Have I mentioned that NS also features the talents of the one and only Billie Dee Williams? COME ON! It's LANDO!!!!!! And have a Colt 45... on me!

Quote of the Blog

Spinelli: Stone Cold! I am in desperate need of your wisdom. I am at Def Con 4! Check that, Def Con 5 . . . Tell me how to make fair Lulu fall in love with me? . . . You are wise in all things Stone Cold, you are. You taught me to escape armed desperados, and to placate Mr. Corinthos Sir. And when it comes to affairs of the heart, look, not only have you managed to win Samantha's undying love, but you also managed to seduce the loyal Elizabeth away from her husband!
Jason: That's it, this conversation is done now.
Spinelli: Look, I'm not passing judgment! I'm just saying, I'm merely pointing out that you have these two, paragons, completely devoted to you. And then you throw Valkyrie Carly in the mix, and, you are a chick magnet, as they say. I mean, you're a true triple-threat.
Jason: What does any of this have to do with you and Lulu?
Spinelli: You possess the secret. Okay? I mean, you can wield your power over a woman's heart, her body, her soul? Y'know like, who else would I go to for wisdom vis-a-vis the Blonde One? I mean, dude, c'mon, please, just if you give me just a little something, about, give me the secret to your mojo.
Jason: I've got to get out of here.
Spinelli: No, mentor of mine, please. Look, I have a confession. Look, okay, I may rule cyberspace. But in reality, well, The Jackal struggles. You know, I mean, this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some people that don't take me seriously. There may even be some who mock me behind my back. So, please, just please, just give me something, anything, anything to make Fair Lulu take me seriously.
Jason: Listen.
Spinelli: Okay. (waits for more) What, that's it?
Jason: Yeah, that's it. Listen to Lulu. Women like to talk a lot. They want a guy who's going to listen. Now you may not understand what she's trying to say half the time, but that does not matter. It's the simple act of listening that counts.
Spinelli: Wow, that is so zen. Deepest gratitudes, Stone Cold. (Spinelli tries to hug Jason)
Jason: What, what'd I say about touching me??
Spinelli: Alright. Deepest gratitudes. And when Fair Lulu is mine, I will remember your kindness.

- General Hospital

Mood:  incredulous

I could not fall asleep last night. This is a recurring problem, but last night was particularly bad. Around 10:00, I suddenly felt wide awake. Drugs helped this and by 11:00 I was very sleepy, but still couldn't fall asleep.

Then I had one of those moments where things start filling your head that you don't want to fill your head. In this case, I started thinking about my previous employer and how unfairly they treated me. I realized this while I was there, which is why I left, but I realize it even more now that I'm at an employer where I am truly appreciated. It's amazing what a change like that can do to a person.

But I digress... in thinking about my previous employer, certain people in the direct line of command in particular, I got very, very angry and started composing this witty and pithy blog to said people. I was profound, I was moving, and I've forgotten all of it now. What I realized is it doesn't matter anyway. If they were to stumble across my blog and read it, it wouldn't make a difference. They'd still continue thinking they were right and I'd continue knowing I was right.

That still doesn't quell this frustration inside of me. Knowing one thing and accepting it are two completely different things. I KNOW they're never going to change, but I can't ACCEPT it. So, in a move many people would probably not agree with, I'm going to express some of my frustrations in this blog, in a sort of virtual shout-out to the universe of ways NOT to treat your employees.

In my "scenarios" here, A is the subordinate and B is the boss. This is mostly to save me some typing. I *do* sort of have carpal tunnel, after all.

1) B, do NOT ask A about a fellow B's personal life. And when A gets upset and says s/he's uncomfortable with the conversation, don't chastise A for saying such. Even if B apologizes, all As have a right to express when they feel a conversation is inappropriate.
2) Human Resources B, do NOT tell A you think they should quit. Do not tell other As, shortly after they've been hired, that their references said bad things about them. Do not favor certain As over other As. Do not favor certain Bs over other Bs. You're Human Resources. You're supposed to be neutral territory, not the instigator of a war.
3) B, do NOT expect all of your As to be perfect sunshiney happy people all of the time. Do NOT make them sign a piece of paper saying they agree to by perfect sunshiney happy people. Everyone has bad days. Including you.
4) B, if you're threatened by your A, they shouldn't know this. And if you are, deal with it. You're the B, after all. This, however, does NOT give you the right to take things out on A for no apparant reason.
5) Gossip, of all kinds, can only lead to tears.

Bitter? Yeah, I am, but I feel much better. If none of my Bs ever read this, that's fine. I did this for me.

And to everyone out there... apologies, first, for this not being a very funny blog, but I want to share a beacon of hope... if you're miserable in your current job, don't give up! You'll find a place like I did - with good, kind, wonderful people. It just takes time.

Later!
Laura

Quote of the Blog
"If it is to be, it is up to me."

Mood:  hug me

(They really need to create a "weird" emoticon.)

If you don't watch Bones, here's why you should:
(Bones Season 2 on DVD 9/11, season premiere 9/25)

Booth: Name?
Bones: You know my name.
Booth: Bones, you are making an official request to the FBI to be allowed to carry a concealed weapon.  I have to follow protocol.
Bones: It’s ridiculous.
Booth: Fine.
Slides application to her.
Booth: Then we’re done here. Do you want to get some coffee?
She slides it back.
Bones: My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Bones: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good response.
Bones: It’s the truth.
Booth: You know, I’m writing, “self defense in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as contracted out to the FBI.”
Bones: So I can shoot them.
Booth: Have you ever been charged with a felony?
Bones: Charged or convicted?
Booth: Charged.
Bones: You know I have.
Booth: I have to ask the questions.
Bones: Bureaucratic nonsense.
Booth: Never the less, name of the arresting officer?
Bones: You.
Booth gives her a withering glance.
Bones: Special Agent Seeley Booth. Do you need me to spell that for you?
Booth: I can sound that out.
Bones: So when do I get the gun?
Booth inhales and stamps the paper.  Then he holds it up on a clipboard facing Bones.  She sees big red letters that say “denied.”
Booth: You can’t have a gun.
Bones: Why not?
Booth: Because you were charged with a felony.
Bones: Write down that you were wrong to charge me.
Booth: Oh, there’s no space for that.
Bones: Why did we go through all this if you were never going to give me a gun?
Booth: You have a constitutional right to apply for a weapon.  I would never deny your constitutional right.
Bones: Well, uh, I need a gun.
Booth: Rules are rules.
Bones: Tell them that I shot a murderer who was going to light me on fire.
Booth: Which is why you weren’t convicted but you did shoot an unarmed man. I… I can’t ignore that. I swore an oath to protect society from people who shoot people.
Bones: It was only his leg and he’s in jail for the rest of his life.  How much is he going to use it anyway?
Booth: You have a right to an appeal.
Bones: To whom?
Booth shakes his head.
Bones: Cullen? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me.
Booth: Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re right.
They walk out of the room and through the lobby.
Booth: Bones you don’t need a gun. If anyone needs shooting, I’ll do it.
Bones: But what if you’re injured or dead and someone still needs shooting?  I’m not hoping it will happen.  I’m just stating a possibility.
Booth: Ah, come on. You know what Bones? You’re a professor; you’re not an FBI agent. Okay? Use your mutant powers, just talk people to death.

Quote of the Blog
The entire blog *was* a quote. I think you've had enough.

Mood:  irritated

So I had a great topic for my blog today... and I forgot it. I keep waiting for it to come back to me... wait a minute! ... No. Nothing. This worries me, because I'm only 26. If I can't remember things now, what will I be like when I'm 70? Even 40? You'll find me at the ripe old age of 42 wandering around the streets asking people if they know my name. Of course, it could just be all the crack. I kid! All my drugs are the legal prescription kind.

(Damn. I really wish I could remember what I was going to write about! Crack is whack!)

We had a discussion at work the other day about favorite words. My boss Greg's: disambiguation, or a form thereof. I am rather fond of licentious, myself. Wow. If you know what licentious means, you're definitely giggling right now. I basically just called myself a pervert. Licentious is really almost a homophone, meaning, "a word that sounds gay." heh. I'd say my English teachers are now rolling around in their graves, but all my English teachers are still living... so I guess they're rolling around in their suburban living rooms. Now THAT'S licentious!

(I swear, at some point in my life, I was sane. Relatively sane. At the very least, I didn't interject comments like this into my blog, which is already just one running commentary on nothing. I'm like Seinfeld, a blog about nothing.)

Let's get serious here. Uh. Dammit! What the HELL was the topic?

Oh, well, I can at least share that I'm going home for Thanksgiving. YAY!!!! I'm soooooo excited. I didn't think I could go that long without seeing the fam. Yeah, I'm a baby. So what!

Speaking of babies... my little Alyssa is just too cute for words. She's a huge part of the reason why I wanted to go home at Thanksgiving. They just grow up so quickly. And I don't want her to forget her Tita Laura.

Two semi-serious paragraphs in a row. I must be slipping.

Have I mentioned I really want a baby? Have I also mentioned the only guy who hit on me this weekend was married? Yeah. Envy my life.

Later!
Laura

Quote of the Blog
"[To ticket agent] Now look here... [looks at agent's name tag] Jo-LENE. I have an army to raise and I must get to Managua at once. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal. BUT NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES." - Stewie, Family Guy

Mood:  hungry

If you've ever wondered where my blog topics come from, it's usually a result of something that happened to me on a particular day. For example, my last blog came as a result of the Dirty Jobs marathon that was on Discovery yesterday. Today, my blog is a result of an e-mail I received, containing these two articles:

Smoking and Schizophrenia
Insight and Schizophrenia

Which led me to think.... Those who smoke have no insight. If they did, there would have been one article called "Smoking,  Insight and Schizophrenia."

Don't ask me what they said about smoking and schizophrenia or insight and schizophrenia. Just because I get the articles, doesn't mean I read them.

Yet another article in the same e-mail:
Self-Hypnosis as Headache Treatment in Children and Adolescents?

I'm sorry, but I just have images of children hypotizing themselves. "I am getting sweepy. Vewwy sweepy. Where's my blankie?"

Okay, that wasn't really funny, but it reminds me of Lucas in the closet, which only one person (Arica) will get.

Also in the e-mail, the phrase: urine dipstick. No, you're'n dipstick!!

I think that's all for now. I'm tired and my brain's not working well. I've been messing things up all day. You'd think with a degree in writing I'd be able to communicate well... but not so much. I was just going to write "I've been messing things up all day" again. See? I think I need to stop.

Seriously.

"I'm being cereal, guys," - Al Gore

(I wonder if Mike Rowe reads my blog... )

Later!
Laura

P.S. The Inspector Gadget theme song is in your head now, isn't it? heh heh. I'm evil.

Quote of the Blog
"Patients pissed off at shortage of urologists and they can't hold it anymore" - fark.com

(I kinda hope not. He'd think I'm a total whack job and that would really hurt my chances of marrying him. sigh.)