Hey there

Life is good. Right now I am listening to Alicia Key's "You Don't Know My Name". This song really has me feeling some kinda way. I have it on repeat. I just feel it even thought I have never been in that type of a situation. Imagine, seeing some guy every single day in a capacity in which you don't really have much of an opportunity to get to know him.

I have to just buy her cd for this song.....


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
You don't know my name
It's like
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
you don't know my name
and it feels like
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
you don't know my name
and I swear on my mother and father it feels like
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

What a day. It's 9:15pm and my day is officially over. I have this one long nail that i need to cut. It is the index finger on my right hand. Everytime I type, I mis-spell something because I cannot feel the letter that that finger is pressing down on. So, I am continuously back spacing to delete stuff....

anyway, today was a long day. I wasted it until 3pm, then Antoinette and I went to Walmart, Home Depot, Sam's Club, and Price Chopper. We spent over 100 dollars on stuff...so excuse me if I am a bit overwhelmed. LOL...Ok, I'm going to bed...work in the morning......

peace

D.C. Sniper
I am amazed.
I am absolutely amazed. I mean, this evening, as I was watching House Rules, I saw the commercial for the Tv Movie, "DC Sniper". I am shocked. Before I go on, I ask that you continue to read this because I may not be going where you think I am.

The cases of the two men suspected to be the snipers, are now being tried in court. The law says that we have the right to a fair trial. We are to be judged by a jury of our "peers". Granted, I never believed that, but I have never seen such blatant opposition to the law as I have seen here.

These men are in trial now but they are already being portrayed as guilty in the media. Do you realize how many people are watching this movie? How can they get a fair trial anywhere when they have already been thrown into the fire.

Ok, I think they are guilty, but at the same time, I like to at least have that pseudo sense of trust in our judicial system. I am not a juror on that case because I would have been unable to honestly listen to cases for the defendants. I would have walked in there with a guilty verdict ready to be handed down. But, I'm not a juror.

I can't elaborate as I would like to so I am going to just go to bed and I will do this later.

work in the morning...

cooked dinner at my place tonight and it was all good. I really must say that I now understand the concept of just doing it. I mean, I didn't follow a recipe and I can't tell you how much of anything I used. But I know that it felt good and it tasted even better.

Orange Stewed Chicken, potatoes, and some good as vermicelli and rice. Holla at your girl. It's 12:26am now, long past my bedtime. So, you can just imagine how I will be dragging in the morning...In the meantime,

I'll just try to pass the time....

L.A has more gyms than churches which means:

You may not be able to make it to heaven, but you sure will be in shape to run through hell....


lol

SARAFINA
Freedom is coming tomorrow!

Oh how that resonates in my mind. What it must have felt like to be a student in South Africa in 1986. Oh how torturous. It makes me ask the question:

When the revolution rears it's ugly head on my front porch, will I open the door and fight, or will I run for cover?

I don't know. When I see the things that these kids were put through, I can't help but think about how hard it must have been to be thrown into a jail, threatened with dead bodies, stripped naked and beaten constantly, eletricuted, chased by dogs, etc. I don't know if I would have had what it takes.

And I fight a silent revolution now, here in America, where injustice stares me in the face daily. Masked in lambs clothing, I am forced to find the costumed lambs. And if I was supposed to go out there and fight, I mean fight with my life, I don't know if I could.

I just watched Sarafina and my body is just convulsing (perhaps, it is because it is freezing cold in my bedroom). I just wonder over and over again what I would have done. It truly is something to think about.

What will we do when faced with the realities of the pssible loss of our lives? Will we face uncertain death with indistiguishable valor, or will will take the low road and plead for neutrality?

Something to think about....

thanksgiving

He's gonna be in the city for Thanksgiving.

So, we chatted briefly today and he's gonna get at me a little later. I do miss him. I can't deny that. I don't know where we stand right now though. I mean, we left things hanging in the balance and it was so intense. He thought I moved on, I should have. So, he moved on. Hey, can't blame people for moving on in life right? I mean, people can't just sit around and wait. He'll be done in May. I'm happy for him.

So, we'll take a stab at what we left lingering in the intensity of the universe's balance. In the meantime, I need to call Kerron. It's been quite some time since we spoke. We have a lot to discuss.

Anyway, I'm off to do something...lol, I don't know what that is.

tired
It's 6:10pm, and I am ridiculously tired. I did a lot today, but not enough to have me ready for bed. And after I go to the party, I still have to do laundry. Perhaps I'll have to put the laundry on hold until Monday night, since there is no school on Tuesday.

So Me'shell N'degeocello is supposed to be at Joe's Pub in New York City tonight. I did not know that until this afternoon. If I followed my mind, I would have gone down there and caught her. She may not be performing they said. That means nothing to me. Just to be able to meet and chat with one of the most talented singers and bassists in the world (in my mind), would be worth the trip. But I would pay for all of that at work on Monday.

Anyway, maybe if I go to bed now, I can get a good half hour's worth of rest and be renewed for the party. We'll see.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

stop da press

LOL

I remember when "Stop da press" could be a diss...That was years ago. Anyway, stop the press because today I am in a New (York) state of mind. I'm feeling really good. I am awfully tired though. You would never think that I get hours of rest every night. My body is just breaking down and I have yet to figure out just why.

Anyway, on Friday night, my sister, my housemate Net, and I, went to see the Matrix Revolution. I'm not a music credit, but I give that movie a solid C. It just wasn't that great. About an hour worth of a waste of my time. However, we paid $5.oo and that to me, is a good deal. Then, on Saturday, we went to Boston. We met up with my cousins Carmel, Andrew, A.J., Jeremy, and Bernie. Along wit them, Curtis, Bernie's boyfriend, Lovey and Astrid (two of my homies from Massachusetts. Actually, Astrid is repping for DC now).

It was sooooooooooo cold. That was kinda disappointing because it forced us to have to find indoors things to do. I love Boston though, but I realized that I only love it by night. I find that it is such a romantic place to be. But yesterday was certainly not about romance. One day, when it will be though.

And oh my Goodness, Birthday shoutouts for November. Holding it down fo real. Emem, Melanie, Carmel, Uncle Ebs, Jade'(Nneka's newborn girl), Nneka's mom, Carmel, MJ,Simone, and these are only the ones between November 1st and November 10th.

So on Monday, I spent time with E boog for her birthday, yesterday, I spent time with Carmel for her birthday in Boston, and tonight, it's Simone's bday party. My body is tired, but I'm gonna make it..Don't know how long I will stay, but I'll be there. Thinking, maybe I should get there early.

And today, I'm just feeling good. It is so time for me to move on. I mean, I just don't understand what was going on with me. But I feel like getting my mind off helped. And I definitely think I am past due a trip to the gym. For now, i'm working on Grad essays and my body. Pre-occupied, I won't have time to think on things that are over.

And Judy called my last when I was in Boston (love ya gurl...I know you're reading this). And MJ was at drill, getting drunk and playing poker for 5o cents a game. Lol...with her fiancee. Awwwwwwwww, I'm happy for her. I wish her the best of luck with that. She is sooooooooo happy. That is a beautiful thing. And even though I am personally scared, not necessarily for her, I just pray that it works. I mean, I was having this conversation with someone the other day. Marriages end so quickly and it's because of independence. I mean, if a dude hits me, I'm gone. There is no question about that. However, in the past, it was not necessarily like that. And as sad as that was, people worked things out. But I am way too proud to try to work something like that out.

What's worse is that there are so few men around for the taking, and if we aren't willing to make it work, then can we truly guarantee that we will have a chance to find someone else? I mean, it takes sooooooooooo long to develop a true and meaningful relationship. Do I want to go through that over and over and over again, when I could possibly work some indifference out in the relationship that I am currently in? I'm not in a relationship, so I cant answer that right now. But if this weblog lasts long enough to capture my life as it is right now, I hope that I can answer that truthfully.

Rhian Benson, Say How I feel, is playing right now and I'm thinking to myself, hmmmmmmmmm..time and time again, I have gone without saying how I feel. Perhaps I should write out that phrase, enlarge it, and live by it....holla back...

Posted by hiphop3/nai at 11:51 AM EST
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