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"Come on, Faith!"

Dawn is hopping from foot to foot, just dying to spar with my wife and show off everything I've been teaching her. To everyone's amazement, my sister can take down a minor demon or vampire quite skillfully! But I don't think Faith quite believes that.

I sit back on the couch with a smile, and the Scooby gang gathers to witness Faith and Dawn's first match.

"OK, Creature let's see your best Slayer moves! ...Whoa! That's great... that's... OK, easy there...!" Dawn goes after Faith fearlessly, and my wife dodges the blows with growing surprise.

A heavy thud. Dawn bows to the group's applause, standing on Faith's throat with one foot. "Now do you believe I can fight?"

Faith nods sheepishly and Dawn lets her up.

"She may not have Slayer strength," I say proudly, "but she was trained by the best!"

"Better be careful, Creature... next time I might not hold back on ya!" Faith turns to leave and then flips backwards to take Dawn by surprise and push her to the ground. Dawn slips easily from her grip, rolls back onto her feet almost as quickly as I could, and kicks Faith twice, once in the hip and once in the small of the back. This time she accepts our applause standing on the back of Faith's neck, holding her by one ear.

Faith throws her off and stands back, looking at my beaming sister with new admiration. Then her eyes narrow and she slowly turns to me. "Buffy! You little..."

"What?" I ask, innocently.

"You didn't just train her to fight... you trained her to fight me!"

Dawn plops on the couch beside me. "I told her to. And she must be pretty good at knowing how you fight, Faith, 'cause you did just what I thought you would!"

Faith advances on my sister wearing an evil smile. Dawn's eyes widen and she dives to one side. Faith is on to her now, fighting her the way she fights me: knowing that her opponent can predict her attacks. She reminds Dawn what a real Slayer is. But my sister still puts up a fight to be proud of.

"Is this yours?" asks Faith, holding a squirming Dawn upside down by the ankles, her wrists trapped in Faith's other hand. She drops my sister back on the couch beside me. Dawn's smiling, but I don't think this is over. And that's a good thing: sparring with Faith is great practice.

"Well, Creature, I'm impressed. You can patrol with me any day! Now, as the victor, I demand a tour of our garden!"

"Victor?! I beat you two out of three!" But she happily leads Faith to the back door. Faith has yet to see the garden in daylight, after working so hard planning it from prison.

Sounds like Faith has found Dawn's incomplete "Welcome Ho" message in the flowers. "Hey!" she calls, "Who you calling a ho?"

I go upstairs to watch from above as my wife and my sister play in the dirt, weeding and moving flowers around. All I can think is how happy Mom would be for us.

 

---

 

Faith drops into the chair beside mine, exhausted after an evening with Dawn. Gardening, fighting, and homework. Meanwhile, the rest of us have been here in the dining room hitting the books and the Internet. Looking in the papers for clues about some new demon attacks. Getting ready for patrol.

I kiss Faith. "Thanks for helping Dawn with her homework."

"I don't think she needs much help from a high school dropout, but it was cool to hang out together."

"I used to think Dawn had three moms... me and Willow and Tara. But now I'm thinking she has four!"

"No way, B. I know you're jealous, but I'm not Dawn's mom. That's all you! I get to be the sister now!"

"I am jealous! But I'll live."

"So... You guys turn up anything on that talisman the Krakor demon was after? The leather case with the red pentagrams?"

Giles shakes his head. "We've been researching all manner of charms and spells that could enhance a demon's powers. But we've found very little referred to as a 'talisman.'"

Faith is disappointed. "Well the demon thought it was here in this house, so we'd better keep an eye open!"

"Agreed," I say."We'll keep the doors locked!"

"Or you could just leave them open," suggests Anya. "It would save Xander a lot of work."

Dawn joins us. "How about Spike and Drusilla? Any word? They were so cute together! In a creepy, bloodsucky kinda way."

"I don't think they're back," I answer. "I just wish we knew what they're up to. I hope Drusilla didn't figure out her chip was Spike's idea!"

"So they just... vanished?" Dawn looks worried. She's a hopeless romantic if ever there was one. She's already forgiven Dru for seeing her as the Key instead of a person.

I tell what little we know. "Clem said Spike was taking Drusilla to Africa. Said he had a big surprise planned for both of them, that would let them be happy together forever. Some demon he wanted to take her to. Clem didn't know what for."

Dawn has an idea. "Maybe the demon's going to do something to make Drusilla less crazy."

"Maybe so. Clem thought the demon was going to do something to both of them. But it's some big secret. Spike wouldn't even tell Drusilla what he was planning."

"OK, B," says Faith leaning into me so our faces touch, "enough talk. I know all about you and vampires. The last thing I want to hear about is a chipped lady vamp to tempt you. Now... who's up for some slaying?" We kiss deeply. "...because I feel like killing something really gross!"

Xander nods to himself. "You married yourself a real sweetheart, Buffy!"

Everyone's in. Tonight, the whole gang patrols. We set out, Slayers and Watcher first, Dawn and Tara bringing up the rear, and the helpless civilians–Willow, Anya and Xander–safely in the middle. Willow might be the most powerful one of us, but she almost never does any magic. Thank goodness.

"What's with the slaying hats, Buffy? I've always wanted to ask." Faith tugs at my knit hat.

"My ears get cold!"

"Poor ears!" She kisses one.

On our way across town, Willow slips back to kiss Tara and whisper in her ear. Tara whispers back.

Dawn points at the couple accusingly. "Look at them whispering! You guys are totally up to something!" Dawn's been saying that for over a week, and I've decided I agree.

Tara stammers, trying to look innocent and managing to look even more suspicious instead. "N-No... We were just... you know... having a little chat!"

Willow does the innocent look a little better. Not much. "A private chat," she says, and Dawn shakes her head in frustration. She wants to know their little secret!

Faith and I exchange glances. We'd like to know too.

We reach a large metal grating in an alley not far from the Bronze. "Here," says Giles. "This is the way the demons went, if the newspaper is correct. This must run all the way to the docks." I kneel down to pry open the grating.

"The next tunnel over goes to the docks," says Faith, "not this one."

We all turn to look at her.

"This one turns and goes right behind the hospital. Quickest thing would be to walk there, and enter the sewers across the street. No sense in going down here." She points at the hatch I've opened.

"I think Giles is right, Faith, all the tunnels in this area join up, and they empty into the ocean by the docks."

"Not this one. Hey, I thought you lived in this town!"

We all look at my wife, highly skeptical. She was reading poetry with Dawn while the rest of us planned this hunt.

She shakes her head, clearly disappointed in us all. "If I had my maps I'd show you... but I'm right. Trust me, I learned this town inside out while I was in the pen." She sets out down a side street.

I shrug and we all follow.

She's right. Of course.

 

---

 

Patrol was a success. Three fewer demons on the Hellmouth. Dawn took down one, showing off proudly for Faith.

"Pass the bottle," says my sister, hanging up her sword in the closet. "I'm gonna get so drunk."

Giles breaks out the non-alcoholic champagne for a little Scooby celebration of Faith's comeback, and I check the answering machine.

"Dawn, you have a message!"

My sister leaps on the machine. "Is it Cassie?"

"I think it's Janice."

"Oh." Dawn's face falls.

Faith comes in and puts her hand on Dawn's arm, glancing back into the dining room to make sure the three of us are alone. "Creature... if you really like this girl, maybe you should just tell her."

"I'm too chicken. What if she doesn't like me that way? What if she's not even gay? She probably won't want to be my friend anymore."

"Dawnie," I say, "I think she's probably not gay. You need to be ready for that. But I agree with Faith. One way or another, you need an answer. It's just eating you up, we can tell. And if she's not interested... there will be other girls, you'll see."

Faith nods. "No matter what, Creature, she'll still want to be your friend. Don't forget, you're the only one whose future she never sees. You're the one person she'd probably let get away with anything!"

Dawn nods, brightening a little. "But if she doesn't feel the same... I'll just die."

I've met Cassie many times, and Faith has read the girl's love poems on her web site. We both agree that she probably likes boys. But I think my sister needs to let this out. "Dawn, what if you just get it over with, and then you can both move on? When she comes over for dinner tomorrow, maybe."

Dawn looks unconvinced. "Maybe."

Willow appears, and frowns with concern at Dawn's expression. I meet her eye and shake my head to stop her from asking what's wrong. Dawn only recently worked up the nerve to tell Faith and me how she feels about Cassie. If she's not ready to tell the witches, that's up to her.

"Champagne time!" says Will brightly, raising her glass. We follow her to the table and get our own.

Giles makes the toast. "To the Chosen Two, and many happy years of slaying!"

We clink and drink. I don't even notice that my wife has begun to cry until everyone has left and Dawn's upstairs brushing her teeth. I find Faith still sitting at the table, swirling her unfinished champagne and crying in that awful, silent way she has. She's been crying a while, I can tell by her eyes.

"Oh, baby!" I sit down by her chair and hug her around the waist. I don't ask what's wrong. I think I know by now the things that haunt Faith.

"Many happy years," she mutters sadly.

I squeeze her without answering. She's thinking about something I'd really rather ignore.

"We'll never have that, will we Buffy? We'll never adopt any kids, never see Dawn grow up and fall in love, never get old together."

"We will Faith. We have to. We'll be careful, and we have lots of help. We'll be the Slayers who live."

"We can say that, but it's never happened before. Slayers die young! Every time we go out on patrol, one of us might come back alone. We live on the Hellmouth. It doesn't get any more dangerous."

I swallow, suddenly alarmed. "You're not... afraid again are you? You did so great tonight!"

She shakes her head. "I can go out. I can slay. Nothing I'd rather do in the world." She looks down with a sly smile. "Well... almost nothing. But... yeah... I'm afraid. And so are you, even if you won't admit it. We want so much, and it's not really very likely."

I'd rather ignore that fact, but she won't let me. Now I'm as depressed as her. But I know it's more than just being afraid. "You think everything good has to end, don't you."

She sighs. "It does, for me."

"Only if you end it yourself." I move in front of her chair, kneeling between her legs and resting my head on her chest. I hug her, reassuring her that I'm not accusing her. But she is self-destructive.

"I won't, B. I'll get a job, I promise! I won't let them send me back, not if I can help it. But I don't deserve the life I want to have with you. And deep down I don't believe I'll be allowed to have it."

"But you will, Faith. We've gotten past the biggest thing. You're free."

"So I get a life and a family and the best woman in the world to love me... and the people I killed, the people the Mayor killed, they don't get any of that. Is that how the world should work?"

I sit up and move my hands to her cheeks. "The world never works like we think it should, Faith. You won't ever be OK with some of the things you've done. Neither will I. They were evil."

Tears well up in both our eyes. I don't want to kick her when she's down, but she needs to know that I really do understand. You can't just forget the kind of guilt she carries. "But Faith, you weren't yourself when you did those things. Just like Anya when she was a demon, or Willow doing the Wicked Witch of the West. They have to live with the darkness in them, and it won't ever go away... but they are good. Like you. The person you are now does deserve a life and a family and all those things." I drop my hands to her shoulders. "The person you are now gives people those things. Every time you slay a vampire, you're giving people all those things. You're saving lives."

She knows all that. You can't be a Slayer and not know why you're doing it. It's not just for fun, even with Faith! But if she needs me to say it, then I will. I'll remind her every day, if that's what she needs. She nods, tears still flowing, and leans forward to kiss me. At least we're off the subject of the danger we're both in. We can't help that, so I don't want to think about it.

"Now," I say, "something we can solve. The job thing. How long will they let you keep looking, before they send you back?"

"Until the parole board decides to be assholes I guess."

"They were born assholes as near as I can tell."

"Right. So... not very long. My parole officer is really trying to get me any kind of interview. Even if they won't hire a con, if I can just get some interviews, that will buy me time. I have to interview somewhere tomorrow. Time is running out. But when I'm on the phone and they ask what my last job was... it was in prison. The call always ends pretty quick after that."

"How much time can you buy working at the Magic Box?"

"As long as it takes for the parole board to figure out I'm being hired by my friends. Which won't take long. Giles and Anya's names are in my file, and they watch new releases like me pretty closely the first few weeks. But my parole officer still wants me to do that. Even if it buys a day or two, it's worth it. So tomorrow I'm gonna work a couple of hours for Anya. But mostly I have to be on the 'net and making calls and finding a real job."

I nod. She's taking this seriously, that's the main thing. "You call me at work if I can do anything. I'll take the day off. I'll take the week off. I'll go up and down the streets knocking on doors if I have to! You will find a job, Faith. I have everyone I know asking around for you. We all do."

"Thanks, B." More kissing. "You know... it's hard for me to imagine what's coming. I can't imagine even next week, Buffy! I don't feel like I fit into the world. I guess I never have, only... now I want to. And I don't know how. I hate that feeling. I only feel like myself when I'm slaying or screwing, B."

"Well, the slaying's done, but..." I raise an eyebrow suggestively. I know a few tricks for taking my wife's mind off her troubles.

Now I have her attention. "You can't still be horny from patrol, B. You only killed one vampire!"

"I guess you're right. And you only killed one demon." But we both know that's plenty to get us worked up. Sitting between her legs I begin to stroke her thighs. Her breath quickens. I unfasten her belt, licking my lips slowly. "Now you be quiet, my love. Dawn's trying to sleep."

I lean forward and make it absolutely impossible for her to be quiet.

 

~ Continued with "CV-22" ~

 

If you're enjoying this story, try I Have Never Been to Boston. Dawn sets out to say goodbye to someone she loves–but who she knows never even existed!

I always appreciate feedback in my Guestbook, or by email. Reader responses will determine whether I publish more stories, and will help improve them! Thanks for reading! (If you'd like to be notified when I post new stories, let me know.)

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