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Previously on "CV"... Faith got reclassified as a juvenile, for a chance at a lighter sentence... but she had to give up CVs. At age 20, she had another chance at CVs, on the grounds that a family was being harmed by keeping the couple apart. Faith's friends took the stand for her, and Tara announced that she was engaged to Willow–but they would not marry until Faith was free to participate. The panel decided against Faith from the start. No more CVs ever. And yet, somehow, in CV-14, the Chosen Two were in bed together on their first wedding anniversary. Buffy gave Faith a present in a long box. It impressed her, but she declined to try it. And Faith seemed to be caught off guard by being with Buffy unexpectedly after so long. She was unable to climax with her wife... "Hell of a way for me to be on our last CV!" she jokes weakly, with a sniffle. I lick the tears from her cheeks and kiss her deeply. "It's OK, darling... this one lasts a lifetime. And the slaying can wait until you feel ready." I tuck my quilt around her better and adjust the pillow that has waited empty beside mine for so long. "Welcome home!" And now the Season Premiere of "CV"...

 

Ugh! Light! Noooooo! Go away! Just want sleep and sleep and sleeeeeeeep.

The sunlight leaking through my bedroom curtains slowly wakens me anyway, but I'm groggy. I slept good last night.

Something smells nice... really nice... like happiness in the air. What is that scent? I can't place it.

My eyes fall on the empty pillow beside mine. I blink sleepily a few times and then come awake with a sharp intake of breath. Faith... where is my Faith? I speak her name longingly.

Sudden pain in my abdomen. I yank the scattered blankets up and look down at Faith, clinging to my waist hard and staring up at me in utter terror.

"Baby!" I smile. "Whatcha hiding from down there?"

She blinks in mindless animal fear.

"Baby? Faith?" I put my hand in her matted, sweaty hair, and she slowly releases her painful grip on me.

"Buh... Buffy... where are we?"

"We're home, baby. Remember?" I can't believe it either, but it's true. We played the system and lost... and then we won.

She slowly slithers up to her pillow and bravely faces the morning, breathing hard and staring wildly around the room.

"Nightmare?"

"No... you just scared me when you woke me up." Her eyes finally settle on mine, fear turning to amazement.

"I'm home..."

"You're home. For good." She's not too stunned to return my kiss. It gets very... intense.

Oxygen break. "Wow, B... good morning to you too!" She squints at the window. "What time is it?"

"Who cares, baby? We can sleep til dinner. We can sleep til Thursday!"

The doorbell rings. "Or maybe not," I yawn.

But neither of us budge to answer the bell. After a while it sounds again, a long, insistent ring this time.

I sigh. "I'll fight ya for it!"

I flip myself on top of her, sending the blanket flying, and she smiles a little. We are long overdue for a good play fight. But she's more into clinging than fighting. I pin her shoulders to the bed and she hardly resists.

"Fine, be that way." I kiss her pretty nose. "You get it, then."

But our bodies pressed together make answering the door seem pretty unimportant.

"Get.... what?" The bell rings a few more times. Faith seems confused by the sound.

"The front door, silly! Take my robe."

"OK...." she gets out of bed, nude, and nervously puts on the robe hanging behind the door. She hesitates a moment and then slowly descends the stairs. Who could be ringing? Everyone knows Faith and I would like to be alone. Dawn's over at Willow and Tara's. If it's the Jehovah's Witnesses again, telling me how to get to Heaven, I'm gonna be pissed!

I pick up the long box I gave her for our anniversary. I hope she likes it. She seemed to appreciate it, but she sure wasn't in any hurry to try it out.

Silence after her footsteps vanish downstairs. No door opening, no voices. No more ringing. A minute passes, maybe two.

I get up and pad naked to the top of the stairs, peeking around the corner with just my head in case someone's here. The door's closed and Faith is standing well back from it, covered in sweat and staring at the knob.

"Faith?" Is she trembling? What happened?

She mutters something too softly to hear.

"Baby?" I hurry down, nude or not.

"Buffy... I can't..." She speaks very quietly and doesn't turn to look at me. Just stands there frozen, staring at the door in fear.

"Faith, what's going on?"

"I can't, Buffy."

"Can't what?"

She's still staring at the door, frozen. I come up behind her and put my hands on her shoulders. "Can't what, darling?"

"I can't open the door."

I step in front of her and look into her eyes, worried. She snaps out of it and retreats up the steps.

She's serious. I frown, not understanding. I thought I might get at least one good ogle out of her, standing here nude like this, but she barely notices me. "OK... give me the robe."

She strips and tosses it to me–and I do notice her!–and then she backs fearfully up the steps and out of sight. I don't know what's eating her, but I guess this is a big shock to be home. A good shock, though... right? She just needs time. And that's something we finally have.

I open the door. Nobody there. Weird. I look up and down the street. Empty. Then I look down at the ground and my jaw drops.

I return upstairs to find my wife squatting in the middle of the bed, blankets pulled around her, as though they are comfort more than warmth.

I smile and present the big tray of food. Somebody really went all out! "Back into bed!"

I don't have to ask her twice! I slip in beside her and lay the tray between us.

She stares at the spread. Milk, juice, eggs, toast, some covered dishes... Looks like she's feeling better already. "Who...?"

"It's Willow's tray, but..." I lift a lid. "Pancakes. Funny shapes." Another lid–more pancakes. "Rounds." I poke at some eggs with a fork. "Pretzels in the omelets."

"Dawnie!" she grins.

I agree. "How sweet!" Little sis must have rung the bell and run away.

It's a great breakfast. Even the omelets... once you get used to the crunch. We polish off everything. Well, not the bacon smoothies. I've never had the heart to tell Dawn just how refreshing cold fat isn't. But nothing beats breakfast in bed naked with the loveliest Slayer who ever lived!

"Now," I say, stretching, "I believe you and I have some unfinished business? Your first orgasm in your new home?" I cup her breast in my hand and lean forward to kiss it with my best evil smile. Her body wouldn't respond last night, but all those months apart call for some mutual passion I think!

"Mmmm..." She arches her back and strokes my hair. "Join me in the shower, B?"

Good. She's noticing me again! Instead of answering, I pick her up and take her to the shower. "I want you in the worst way, Faith... in all the worst ways..." We stand close and kiss, not bothering with the water. I want to make love to her for a million years. And then... I think I want to kick her ass. She could hold her own when we'd spar in the trailer... but we'll see how well she fights in the open air! Of course fighting and sex get kinda connected for us Slayers.

"All of them? Wow..."

I turn to start the water.

"This shower sucks, B, look! I can get like three feet away from you!"

"You get back here." I pull her to me under the hot stream. She's right, the cramped CV shower was kinda nice in a way... but I'll take reliable hot water any day.

She takes the initiative and soaps my body slowly, lovingly. My nipples respond to her, and then my sex. I'm practically panting! I begin to wash her as well.

But her body does not respond. Her breath doesn't change, and she does not open at my touch. It's just like last night! Is it me? "Baby... do you want to be doing this?"

"Wouldn't miss it, B!"

But I'm starting to fear she's just going through the motions. I want her to want me. Not just pleasure me.

She has me so close... but I stop her. Starting to wish I had stopped her last night. "It's OK, baby... another time, maybe."

She shrinks. "I'm so sorry, Buffy, I wish I wasn't like this."

I hold her to me. "Faith, I think you're sorry too much." And I kiss her to tell her she doesn't need to be.

We finish washing up, and if it's not sexy, then at least it's tender and nice. Afterwards, she lets me help her towel off.

"Can I ask a question, B? What's with the little notes in the bathroom?"

I have to laugh. There must be half a dozen yellow post-it notes on things. I noticed them last night and I keep finding more, all over the house. "That's Dawnie. She seems to think you'll have trouble getting used to life outside."

A note on the mirror reads, "Mirror is also cabinet. Medicine and band-aids inside." On a drawer near the sink, "Toothpaste in here. Extra Fresh tastes better but Tartar Control has cool sparklies."

"I think she may be right... but not that much trouble!" Faith lifts the toilet lid to reveal the note that says, "Toilet paper under sink. Put lid down or Buffy freaks!" And then we keep finding more notes... pretty soon I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! Faith laughs a little too, but she's so... subdued or something lately.

"You better call her," I say, wiping my eyes. "She was so sweet to clear out for your first night home. All her own idea. She insisted. But I just know Will and Tara are sitting on her right now to stop her from calling."

We return to the bedroom and get dressed. Faith puts on fresh underwear but the same old clothes. They're all she has.

Faith reaches for the phone. "What's their number?"

"Speed dial one."

The instant the phone dials, someone picks up. I hear loud clattering from the other end and my sister's voice. "Faith?"

My wife smiles. "It's me, Creature! How did you know?" My sister says something I can't make out so I slide closer. Faith laughs. "Yes, I really am home! Home to stay. Buffy calls it our last CV. Less cramped, though.... I can't wait to see you, Creature! And Willow and Tara!"

"I bet you guys are so happy!"

"We are. It's so weird just to be with my wife... no bars, no guards, no time limit."

"I still can't believe it. And I still don't get what your lawyer did to get you out."

"She had it planned all along, Creature, she just didn't tell anyone until it was a sure thing. Not even me! Probably best–I wouldn't have wanted to hope, not if it was all going to come to nothing... I wish I could have seen those bastards' faces when they realized they set me free instead of taking away my CVs!"

"But you lost at your hearing... they said the family was doing good with you and Buffy being apart!"

"Yep. I was mad at my lawyer for going overboard on how close we all are... the panel figured things were going fine for the family, so there's no reason to have CVs! They were so damn smug. But it was a trick. My lawyer didn't want CVs at all. She just wanted them to admit on paper that we're a family. She gave them an easy excuse to decide against me... as long as they admitted we're a family. And they did. I had to apologize to her. She knew what she was doing. No wonder she didn't seem worried when the hearing went badly."

"OK. That's kinda what Buffy said. But I still don't get it. You got out just because you have a family?"

"Not quite that easy. We had to wait for a judge who would take our side. Since I was a juvy, I'd been locked up long enough to get early parole–but only if I went home to my family. No parole on my own."

"Yeah I know, but I thought that had to be your mom. That's why I thought Giles should adopt you. 'Cept for being English and everything."

"The rules say the only way I could get out to be with my spouse, instead of my guardian, is if my guardian is unfit. Not many people get out that way anyway. Not many juvies are married."

"So that's why your lawyer had all that evidence about your mom lying to get you in trouble."

"That's right. I was so mad at my lawyer for writing to my mom for help. I thought I'd told her a hundred times what my mom was like, so why provoke her? But all along that's just what my lawyer wanted. She wanted my mom to attack me. So when the time came, it was easy to convince the judge that I couldn't go home to her."

"So every time your lawyer screwed up..."

"Yep. It was all on purpose. She had her plan all along. Get my mom riled up, get me switched to juvy, then pretend to ask for more CVs... when really she just needed to show that you guys are family, and my mom isn't. We took that to a judge last week, and... here I am! I think my lawyer's even sneakier than me. Glad she's on our side."

My sister asks Faith how she liked breakfast.

"It was the best breakfast I ever had! You're the best. And thanks for all the little notes, I don't think I'd be able to wipe my ass without your help!"

"Things are different than in prison!"

"They sure are. I'm just givin' ya a hard time. When are you coming home?"

"Whenever you two are done... with your alone time. Buffy really needs to get laid, for all our sakes! Don't rush things just for me." A pause, then her voice speeds up. "Can I come right now?"

Faith looks at me and I know what we're both thinking. We could use a few weeks of alone time! But Faith and Dawn have grown so close now... "Yeah, come back now, Creature! I miss you!"

"OK! You didn't look at the flowers, did you?"

"No way! I promised. I won't look at my garden without you."

 

---

 

Dawn rushes in and squeals as Faith spins her around. They hug long and tight, and then I join them. All three of us shed some tears, but the Summers family is together. At last. It feels too good to be real.

"I think Willow and Tara wanted to get rid of me anyway," says Dawn. "They're up to something but they won't say what. Something they seem to be enjoying way too much. They were always shutting themselves in the bedroom."

They go upstairs to see Dawn's room. That's my chance to call Willow about certain secret plans. Plans that Dawn's in on, so I don't know what else she thinks Willow and Tara could be up to in secret.

"Hey, Will."

"Buffy... we're so happy for you guys. How's Faith?" She sounds out of breath.

"A little weird. But good. Thanks for having Dawn over."

"You guys have fun?" she asks slyly.

"Yes, lots of fun. And it's none of your dirty-minded business."

"Sorry. I had to ask. Tara and I were just... having fun when you called. In fact I kinda left her hanging if you know what I mean."

"Poor Tara... I'll let you get back to it. But I wanted to check... Did you talk to Oz?"

"Yep. It's kinda weird after all this time. But we're set for six o'clock."

"Great. Now get off the phone and stop neglecting your fiancee!"

I hang up and listen to the muffled voices from upstairs. Since the witches moved out it's just been me and Dawnie. Silence, or maybe TV, unless the two of us were doing something together. But now here I am, doing my own thing, and I can hear my wife and my sister together... doing their own thing. It's such a simple little thing, but suddenly I'm so happy I break down weeping. I feel like when Mom was alive. I feel like a family.

I wipe my eyes and head up to Dawn's room.

Whatever's bothering Faith, Dawn has made her forget it. My wife has the prettiest smile in the world!

"Come on," says Dawn, pulling Faith towards the stairs, "I'll show you the garden! You can help me do the watering!"

But you don't pull a Slayer unless she wants to be pulled. Faith doesn't budge. "Cool, Creature, can't wait! But let's see it all later. I think I'll just hang out for a while."

Dawn's brow wrinkles. "Oh... OK... but don't peek without me."

"Promise!" smiles Faith.

Dawn starts to leave the room and then comes back. "Oh, come on, at least look out the window! I made something for you! I ran out of space, though." She runs and opens the curtains and Faith goes pale, turning away and gripping Dawn's bed frame with one hand so tight her knuckles are white.

"You OK, baby?" I rush over, alarmed.

"Five by five!" But she looks two by two at best. "Hey, lets close the window so I don't peek... I want to see it in person later."

"But you can see it better from up here," objects Dawn. I catch her eye, though, and she closes the curtains again, confused. "Buffy? What is it? Why...?"

I shake my head sternly. I don't know what's wrong with Faith, but I don't want to make a big deal about it in front of her. I get up and open the curtains a crack, trying to figure out what Faith is concealing. She flinches away from the gap even though she's nowhere near. I look down at the back yard and my eyes narrow.

"Dawnie," I say slowly, reading the message Dawn has spelled out with flowers in the garden, "I kinda get what you mean, but... that's not a very nice thing to say!"

"I told you... I ran out of space for the letters! Don't let her look without me!"

"OK, I won't." I'd like to see Faith's reaction to this! I peek down again. Dawn has spelled out, "Welcome Ho."

 

---

 

Faith is acting so weird. Not ecstatic, not beside herself with happiness... not even grateful and relieved. I want to scream and jump for joy... but she's not, and so I can't. I'm starting to really worry.

I tried to get her to go out clothes shopping. No need to dress up for Oz, I just thought it would be a fun outing. But all she's wanted to do is stay in our bedroom and "rest." I won't blame her if she's tired after such a big change in her life, but she hasn't slept at all. She just lies there. We've been talking and cuddling, hanging out with Dawn... she's happy on some level, I can tell. But underneath, something is very wrong. For one thing, she keeps putting off going out to the garden with Dawn–and that was Faith's big dream that Dawn made come true! I couldn't even get her to walk around the house with me. Until I tried a little experiment and closed all the drapes. She let me give her the tour then, but she was nervous. She seems calmest in our room–as long as I don't try letting the sun in–and in the bathroom and in the basement. Complete with Dawn's helpful note: "Basement light switch is backwards. Up = Off. Down = On."

I tried to make a joke of it. "Turn into a vampire on me?" But she just gave me a weird look. Whatever's up, my wife won't talk about it. Well, six o'clock is getting near, and I'll see to it that she forgets her troubles!

Dawn and I try to get her to watch some TV, but I swear the living room windows bother her even though they're all curtained.

"I don't really like UPN," she says, and gets up. "I think I'll go make the bed. Make myself useful!"

I follow a few moments later and find her standing in the hall, staring at nothing, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Baby?"

She doesn't answer for a long time, and then she says something very quiet. "I shouldn't be here."

"Why?" I hug her around the waist from behind and nuzzle her hair.

She doesn't answer, but after a while she speaks again. "That's where I hit her."

"Hit who?"

"Your mom." A tear falls on my arm. I squeeze her comfortingly, trying to think what to say. Is this all about guilt? Poor Faith... I want her to forget the past and live with me in the present. And the future.

She turns her head to look down the hall the other way. "And that's where I knocked Dawn's head into the wall and then shoved her into the basement."

"Oh, baby... you didn't! You don't remember any of that!" Dawn wasn't around when Faith was in town, even though most of us remember her.

"But you do. Dawn does. Everybody but me does. It's what I would have done to Dawn if she had gotten in my way." Her voice is so small and haunted.

I just hold her and rock her, chin on her shoulder from behind. Then Dawn is here, hugging her too. Even she can tell that words aren't going to help.

After a few minutes, Faith sniffles and gives an embarrassed shrug. "Sorry. You probably think I'm nuts."

"Not at all, darling. I think this is a hard change for you, and I think you're loved so much that you'll be fine before you know it."

"Hope so!"

"Buffy..." My sister is nodding her head toward the clock. Five thirty. Good. It's time to take her mind off things. Remind her just how many people care about her.

"OK, Faith, I've got a plan. Get your shoes on. We're going to the Bronze. Our very first date!"

I step around in front of her and her eyes are wide with fear all over again.

"I can't! Buffy... I can't!"

"Can't go to the Bronze? Sure you can! Come on, it'll be fun."

She sits down on the stairs and puts her head in her hands.

"I sorry, Buffy. I can't leave the house."

I blink at her in surprise, but it fits how she's been acting all day. And yesterday in the car from the prison, too... she was a total zombie. "Why not, darling?"

She shakes her head. "I just can't. It's too big."

"It...?"

"Out there! Everything! It's too big! It's too much!"

"You won't go... anyplace?" No wonder she wouldn't come on patrol with me last night!

"I can't go anyplace. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Not even places indoors?" asks Dawn, worried. "Like the Bronze?"

"No. This house even scares me a little. But I've been living here for months in my dreams already... and in your photos, Dawn... so this house is familiar. Kinda like home. I'm OK here. But not out there."

My sister persists, trying to understand. "Are you afraid something will... get you? Or just afraid of being out?"

My wife shrugs. "Both." And something could get her, if she's in a bad state of mind. This is Sunnydale, after all.

I kiss my wife and smooth her hair down on the sides. "It's OK, Faith. We'll stay right here."

"But Buffy..." Dawn objects softly.

Faith eyes me, wondering what's going on. I sigh and confess. "Faith... we planned a little surprise party for you. Willow did, actually. Kind of a welcome-home-slash-anniversary thing. It's at the Bronze at six o'clock. Angel's coming from LA, and your lawyer, too." Faith opens her mouth to speak, clearly upset. "It's OK! I'll call everyone, and if you want, we'll have the party here. And if you don't want that, I'm sure they'll all understand. Whatever will make you feel OK, it's fine, really!"

She smiles a little. "A party for me?"

"A party for all of us. A surprise for you."

"Do you think they'll mind coming here? We don't really have party stuff."

She wants the party. I'm so glad. "Nobody will mind! The only reason it was at the Bronze is that Oz is in town playing tonight. We were going to make a Scooby outing of it. And then you got released, so Willow turned it into a party. But we can have it here, and Willow and Tara can pick up food and drinks. Really, it's fine."

"Oz?" She looks unhappy about that. Let me guess... one more person she has to apologize to. One more person who knows what she once was.

"We can catch up with Oz tomorrow, and you won't even have to meet him."

"OK. I don't really feel like facing any more people from the past right now. Do you think Willow will be mad about the party?"

"I think she'll go all black-eyes-and-lightning on your hiney... I'm kidding! She'll understand. Now... I better make some calls."

 

Continued with "CV-16"

 

If you're enjoying this story, try I Have Never Been to Boston. Dawn sets out to say goodbye to someone she loves–but who she knows never even existed!

I always appreciate feedback in my Guestbook, or by email. Reader responses will determine whether I publish more stories, and will help improve them! Thanks for reading! (If you'd like to be notified when I post new stories, let me know.)

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