Part 4
Conflict

It turned out that Colonel Flagg was at the 4077th to pursue commies. I think it was a hobby as well as his job. He never smiled, but he seemed to be enjoying it, anyway.

Seems like he suspected everybody, right down to Father Mulcahey. Trapper John said he had a bad case of 'reds under the bed'.

There was another secret agent sort of guy who came into camp, too. But he worked for some other organization, and it was like him and Colonel Flagg were in a contest, or something. Both of them were trying like heck to find one person they could turn in as being a threat to the US army and the American way of life. They ended up both settling on Frank Burns, except Colonel Flagg thought Frank was a communist, and the other guy thought he was a fascist. Turned out that Hawkeye and Trapper John had set it up. Boy, those guys were clever.

Unfortunately it got straightened out before they hauled Frank off. It was fun watching him pee his pants, though.

I was glad when Colonel Flagg left camp. Every time he looked at me it was like...Well, my Mom would call it having a goose walk over my grave. I don't know what the heck a goose would have to do with it, but I knew that meant feeling kinda shivery. That's what he did to me.

He didn't bother me the whole time he was in camp, not till just before he left. He came in the radio room, leaving the jeep that was going to carry him away parked right outside. I was sitting on the edge of my desk, reading a comic book. Well, I was off duty, okay? On break, anyway.

He came in, and I put it down, real quick. I stood at attention and saluted without having to be reminded this time. I don't know if that made him happy or not. You never could tell with him. I was learning that he usually was about as expressive as Mount Rushmore.

He stopped right in front of me. "At ease, soldier."

I relaxed as much as I could, what with him standing right there. "Sir, Colonel Blake is in the mess tent, sir."

"I'm not here to see Blake. I'm here to see you, O' Reilley."

I think I squeaked a little. "Me, sir?"

"You're a little young to be sole clerk of a unit like this. How did you get this position? Maybe some strings were pulled?"

Well, now, that was just silly, but I probably shouldn't have said anything. "Begging the colonel's pardon, but why would I pull strings to get posted so close to the front? That wouldn't make much sense."

Oh, I really don't think I should have said that. His expression got even blanker, and I didn't think that was possible. He took a step closer, and his toes were bumping mine. Then he leaned in. His tone was real smooth and reasonable. That scared me even more. "This is a very important position, Corporal. You wield a good bit of power, even if your commanding officer doesn't seem to notice it. Power, who has it and who doesn't have it, fascinates me. I'm wondering why you got this job."

I swallowed. But I told him what I thought was the truth. "Because I'm good, sir."

He blinked once, real slowly. He stepped back from me and gave me a once over. I started blushing, because I knew my pants were rumpled, and I'd left my shirt unbuttoned over my undershirt, since I was on break. Then he did something real funny. He cocked his head, kinda like a dog, and said, "Yes. Maybe you are."

From anyone else, that would have sounded like a compliment. It just made me more nervous. coming from him. He turned around and left, and I started breathing again. That man seemed to suck all the oxygen right out of the air. I hoped like hell that would be the last time I'd have to deal with Colonel Flagg, and I tried to put him out of my mind.

I'd almost managed to do it before he showed up again. This time he wanted one of our patients. He was a Korean. See, sometimes in wars, civilians get hurt, too. The doctors at the MASH always helped them when they could, but this one was brought in by a South Korean officer, who said he was a North Korean spy. To tell you the truth, I never could tell North Koreans from South Koreans. I never could notice a drawl, or anything.

The docs got the guy patched up pretty good. Then Colonel Flagg showed up demanding that the prisoner be turned over to him for interrogation and transfer back to army intelligence. Colonel Blake was off on leave, and Frank Burns was in charge.

Frank thought Colonel Flagg was terrific, even if he had scared him into wetting his shorts before. He was all for letting Flagg do just what he wanted. Hawkeye wouldn't let him, though. He was Officer of the Day, and what he said, went. At least till Henry got back. So it was a waiting game to see if Henry would be back before Hawkeye's authority ran out.

Hawkeye sat with the prisoner for a long time, but he'd been operating a lot earlier, and he needed sleep. He asked me to sit with him, to make sure Frank or Flagg didn't bother him, and I said yes.

They had his cot in a little screened off section, away from the other patients. He was sleeping, 'cause they had him doped up for the pain. I guess I kinda nodded off for a minute. I didn't mean to, but heck, I was going to bed at nine o'clock up to a couple of months before. Anyway, all of a sudden I got a prickling feeling all over, and I opened my eyes...

Okay, I woke up. And Flagg was standing right there at the screen. I sat up real quick, almost falling out of the chair, and said, "You're not s'posed to be here!"

"Insubordination, Corporal?"

I stood and saluted, but I did it in a sarcastic manner. I think I did. I'd never tried to do a sarcastic salute before. "No sir. Doing my duty, sir. Captain Pierce said the patient is not to be disturbed. 'Specially by you."

"Your devotion to duty is noted. Now, I will interrogate that prisoner." He came toward the foot of the bed.

Okay, I guess what I did was stupid. But Captain Pierce was trusting me to take care of that Korean, and by golly, I was going to do all I could. I got between Colonel Flagg and the bed and said, "Sir, I can't let you do that."

He stopped. He gave me that cocked head look again. "Do you think you can stop me?"

"I can try, sir."

"O'Reilly, are you aware that I'm trained to kill with my bare hands? I could break you in half."

I swallowed. He was big. His shoulders strained the material of his shirt, and he was a head taller than me. "Well, sir, then both halves would still try to keep you away from that patient."

He stepped in closer to me. "Back down."

"No."

I was shaking a little, but I didn't move away, and I didn't break eye contact. When he reached out and wrapped his fist in my shirt front, I was pretty sure he was going to make good on his threat about breaking me in half. I was awful glad when Father Mulcahey showed up.

"Colonel Flagg, what in God's name are you doing?! Let go of that boy!"

Flagg didn't look away from me. "This is none of your concern, Padre. O'Reilly and I are having a discussion."

"Stop this at once!" Father grabbed Flagg's arm and pulled him away from me. I'm pretty sure Flagg let him do it. "You were barred from recovery. You must leave immediately."

The Colonel flicked a glance at the priest, then looked back at me. "All right. This can wait till Blake is back. You should have a talk with the corporal about the duty of obedience to a superior officer." Then he left.

"Radar, are you all right?"

I straightened my shirt. "Yeah, Father. I'm okay. Just a little shook up."

"I don't know what that maniac was thinking of, manhandling an enlisted man like that. It's against regulations."

"Ya know, Father. I get the feeling that Colonel Flagg may be hot to enforce regulations for everyone else, but he ain't too worried about following them himself."

"Well, don't worry about him trying to get you into trouble. I'm a witness to his behavior."

"Thanks, Padre." Somehow I got the feeling that Flagg reporting me for rudeness and failure to obey an order were the least of my concerns.