My Story
Click here to see pics of me and my family, including baby pictures
I was born on October 16, 1982 to (Curious) George and Petunia in the wilds of Africa. My birth was herolded by the entire trip, who, in my honor had a huge poo throwing contest to celebrate the birth of the newest monkey to the group. My childhood was fairly normal. I learned at a young age the joys of throwing my poo at others. I grew up only wanting to become the poo throwing champion of the tribe. Knowing that this goal would require lots of practice, I got right on it and finally found out what little brothers are for. Often, I could be found throwing poo at my brother late into the night. He was a great target. Anyways, as I progressed in years I began to get involved in the wrong crowd. This was the group of monkies known for hiding out in the bushes and throwing poo at unsuspecting scientists and forest animals. Boy, it was fun. One time I was hiding out and this gyrl came by (for the sake of the story we'll call her Monica). Anyways, I was just sitting their waiting for someone to come along and as she walked by i did some of my best poo throwing ever. Hit her right in the face. Oh, it was sweet. She fell down screaming and crying like a baby. I then proceeded to go up to her and beat my chest and little. Then i just set down on top of her. I think she fainted or died or something. Cause she was out cold. But if you look at her to this day, her face still looks funny. Anyways, I eventually did become the champion of poo throwing for the tribe. This led to a great honor, I was to be sent to the big tree to be trained in the ways of the assasin monkies. Becoming a trained assasin monkey is a grueling task that requirres one to utilize all of their strength and energy. I learned the martial arts and how to kill a human male with 3 toes. But my favorite part was learning how to throw my poo to kill: Aim for the mouth. After this I spent a few years in service with the king of Djibuti, a small, eastern African nation. There, I ate like a prince. My favorite food was Sascatuwanian waffle bean curd. During my service to the king of Djibuti I was able spend most of the day either practicing throwing poo or killing people w/ poo. It was great. That was the life. But eventually, I had to say good bye and return to my home land in the wilds of Africa. Upon returning home I was herolded as a hero. In fact, they even called me the god of poo throwing. That basically ends my story though. That was 6 months ago and then there is today. Right now I am working as the body guard for the king of my monkey tribe. It is great. I can throw poo at whoever, whenever and not have to worry about getting in trouble for it. Overall, I think i've had a great life. And all I have to say is, if you are ever walking through the wilds of Africa, look out for flying poo. The End.
Ok, maybe that's really not what happened, but it sounds good, and hopefully is a little funny.
Click here to see pics of me and my family, including baby pictures
