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This Book Will Change Andy's Life
Thursday, 10 June 2004
Day One Hundred Sixty: Mirrors Day
Now Playing: Turd Fergeson "Today avoid all mirrors. Concrentrate on your inner beauty." While I'm sure I'm full of inner beauty, I do have to check my hair regularly in the mirror to make sure it's not TOO out of control. I lose. Next, Day One Hundred Sixty One... Public Poetry Day!
Day One Hundred Fifty Nine: Gardening Day
Now Playing: Naaaature Goulet "Find a way of making a $10 bill grow into $100 in one day." Sadly, I'd need a $10 bill for this. And I don't get paid for another 40 minutes. So sad. Next, Day One Hundred Sixty... Mirrors Day!
Day One Hundred Fifty Eight: Ten Commandments Day
Now Playing: The Coconut Bangers Ball: It's A Rap! (little inside, I know) "Today, break one or several of the Ten Commandments." Let's see, which Commandment might I have broken today. Got it! Numero Dos, "You shall not make for yourself an idol." At work Lil' Jon is our new official idol. All hail the man and his crunk juice.
Day One Hundred Fifty Seven: Human Chess Day
Now Playing: Who's that Spartan in my teepee? "Today behave as if you were playing chess. " That's a little difficult. But if I had to be a chess piece, I'd be the rook, described as "the strong trustworthy type." On a related note, on TV right now are the Spartan cheerleaders at a chess meet. Bobby Fisher, where is he? I don't know, I don't know. Next, we're gettin' all holy up in the hizzouse with Day One Hundred Fifty Eight... Ten Commandments Day!
Day One Hundred Fifty Six:
Now Playing: I gotta have more cowbell!  "Today, redesign an everyday product."Naturally, I've done just that. Take one TV. Take one wolf hat. Put 'em together, and what a fine lookin' everyday product. Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Fifty Seven... Human Chess Day!
Day One Hundred Fifty Five: Confessional Day
Now Playing: Marty & Bobbi Culp "Confess to a priest." I have no priest, but here's a confession. I admit it... I have an addiction. My name is Andy and I am addicted. Addicted to the "Best of Will Ferrell" DVD. I'm not the only person with this issue. Others should reply and confess to your addiction as well. Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Fifty Six... Everyday Product Day!
Saturday, 5 June 2004
Day One Hundred Fifty Four: Hard Work Day
"Hard work is good for the soul, besides being the basis of Western society's economic dominance. Follow these instructions to make sure you earn your money today." Alright, my work day. CLOCK IN TIME: 8:00 a.m. EST CLOCK OUT TIME: 5:30 p.m. EST STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: Today I will work harder than ever and make it happen. Signature: Andy LIST OF TASKS / PRIORITY / ACTION / DEADLINE / RESULTS: * Count morning drawers / somewhat important / count money / 9 a.m. / done * Make change order / very important / take money out of drawers for change / 10 a.m. / done * Do bonus calculation / very important / call former area coordinator and beg for help / noon Saturday / in progress * Fill tables and endcaps / eh / like it says / in progress * Set up back room for shipment / somewhat / 11:15 a.m. Saturday / done * Count drawers / important / duh / 5:30 p.m. / done * Take deposit to the bank / very very important / get coworker, go to bank / by dark / done I win. Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Fifty Five... Confession Day!
Friday, 4 June 2004
Day One Hundred Fifty Three: Planet Day
Now Playing: Perhaps you've heard of me, I've got a sneaker for a hand "Talk to a plant for at least one hour." No. :) Next, it's Day One Hundred Fifty Four... Hard Work Day!
Day One Hundred Fifty Two: Future Day
"Today write a message to the future. Mark the envelope "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL JUNE 1, 2104." Begin the letter with today's date and To Whom It May Concern. Suitable topics: world peace, evolutionary trends, suggestions on how to deal with living on other planets, predictions, anectodes from our time that might interest future generations (sport, 'hot news', society, dress trends, etc.). Hide the envelope so taht it won't be found for a hundred years." June 4, 2004 To Whom It May Concern: I come to you from the past. The distant, distant past. You most likely somehow found this letter floating in space. The planet Earth most likely was destroyed within fifty years after I wrote this. The country I lived in battled with various other countries over senseless things and... well, we just blew up the place. Sorry. Please enjoy the enclosed catalog of 1980s fashion. Andy --- Next, Day One Hundred Fifty Three... Plant Day!
Day One Hundred Fifty One: Favorite Dinosaur Day
Now Playing: Lunchlady Land! "Everyone has a favorite dinosaur. Go to your local natural history museum and make sure yours is properly displayed." We don't have a local natural history museum anywhere nearby. So naturally I did a Google Image Search. My favorite dinosaur isn't displayed properly in any museum, but likely can be found in Al's Toy Barn.
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