The quarters were stacked in a neat pile. The phone was ready and working yet
Buffy hesitated to use it. Her hands lay on the metal shelf under the phone
and gave herself a pep talk. It was silly to feel like this and finally with
a deep breath she picked the receiver up, dropped the change in and dialed the
number.
“Good morning, Sunnydale Art Gallery, this is Joyce.”
“Mommy?” The tears she had been holding back flooded down her cheeks.
“Buffy, are you all right? Are you hurt? Do you need me to come and get you?” The questions poured from Joyce as she heard Buffy’s voice for the first time in two months other than on her answering machine. The fact that Buffy was crying only made her more anxious and worried then she had been before.
“No, I’m fine. Really. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I talked to you. I’ve missed you.” Buffy sniffled and wiped the tears from her face.
“I’ve missed you, too. Where are you?”
Buffy looked up and around her. “I’m not sure. I think Alabama or Texas. I fell asleep last night and missed the signs.”
“Are you sure that you’re okay? They aren’t hurting you, are they?”
“Who?”
“Angel and Spike.” Her mother hesitated a minute. “Angel called Giles and told him that you were riding back with them. Then Giles called me. Apparently I’m the last to know.”
Buffy sighed and leaned her forehead against the side of the phone booth. “I’m sorry. That’s why I was calling to tell you that I would be home in a few days. I didn’t know that you already knew.”
“Obviously.”
“They’re treating me fine, Mom.” Maybe changing the subject would be better at this point.
“Are you back with Angel? I know about the curse and I don’t like the idea of you spending a lot of time with him. I’ll be glad when you get back home and we can put all this behind us and you can get you’re life on track again.”
This was what she was afraid of. That her time away would be ignored as her doing any growing up but just as a rebellion that she needed to redeem herself from.
“I’m not the same as when I left. Things aren’t going to just get swept under the rug and return to the way they were.”
“What have you done? You are back with Angel, aren’t you?”
“Mom, I love you. I’m fine and we’ll talk it all out when I get back.”
“Oh, Buffy, don’t do anything that you might regret later. Please.”
“No more regrets.”
Joyce knew that she was getting no where and Buffy was only going to get more
defensive the more they talked. She resigned herself that she couldn’t
do anything now and could only hope that her daughter wouldn’t make a
decision that would harm her in the long run before she got back home
.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Buffy said softly before she hung up. For a moment she thought about just giving in to her mother so she wouldn’t be hurt. It was the last thing that she intended and she had already done enough when she had left without warning.
She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. One more call to make and then she would be free to get started on what she wanted to do. After dropping the change in the phone, she waited while the phone rang. When no one had answered by the sixth ring she accepted the fact that he probably wasn’t home and as she was about ready to hang up, she heard a hello.
“Hello, Giles?”
“Buffy?”
“Yeah, it’s me. The run away Slayer,” she quipped.
He chuckled slightly as her voice washed over him. Of the three of them he blamed himself the most. It was his duty to watch her and care for her. She was the purpose of his life and once again he had failed not only her but his responsibility of keeping her safe.
“It’s good to hear your voice.”
“Thanks. Mom says you already know I’m on my way back.”
“Yes, yes I do. Is everything all right? Angel says that you’re fine.”
“I’m good to go. Look, I need to say something to you before I get back. Would you listen to me for a minute?”
“Of course, Buffy.” Giles thought he knew what she was going to say. That he wasn’t of any use to her and that he should have headed back to England without waiting for her to come back.
“Look, I made a decision before I left that I want to be the best Slayer I can be. I really want to train and study and…and I need you to do that. I trust you. I want to know if you’ll stay and help me. Don’t answer me now. Think about and we’ll talk when get home.”
“All right,” her words had made his heart soar. All the guilt he had been holding onto since her birthday seemed to lighten. He wanted to throw out his agreement now but decided to wait so they could talk through everything. “Hurry home.”
“I will. And Giles?”
“Yes.”
“I love you.”
Buffy hung up the phone with a smile on her face. It felt good even though nothing had been settled she had made contact. She was the one that had made the first move and it made her feel good. And Spike will be proud of me, she thought. It wasn’t that she was seeking his approval but when he looked at her with that funny little smile when she did something that pleased him; it gave her a warm feeling. It felt good to be around someone that she could pretty much gauge how he was feeling toward her at any given moment just by the look on his face or the light in his expressive eyes.
It was different with Angel. He wasn’t as open about his feelings and emotions and sometimes it was a like trying to get a response from a wall even though she knew he loved her with everything he was. It was one of those things that she had to accept about him and try not to change.
She started down the row of shops toward the beauty salon glancing in the windows as she walked. As she passed one store something in the window caught her eye. Buffy stood with the fingers of one hand resting on the window contemplating it. It would be a perfect way for her to show Angel and Spike the way she felt. That is was a commitment to her and not just an emotional whim. Deciding that yes she wanted it she headed in to the store with a grin to see if she could afford it.
~~~~~~~~
The television flickered as one station after another flew by in a Technicolor whirlwind. Nothing caught his eye and with each pass through the limited offerings he went faster. Boredom and the lack of activity annoyed Spike and if it wasn’t for having sex with Angel every chance they got he would be clawing at his flesh in frustration. He suspected that Angel was feeling the same way. Vampires weren’t meant for this inactivity. They were predators meant for wandering the night.
Buffy was gone again. She got to move around because she slept in the car almost all night and then during the day she was up and had the freedom to move. It was becoming a game to find ways to be pissed at her. To blame her for the things that was wrong in his life. Maybe if he could fuck the hell out of her it would help take the edge off. But, no, she had to play the virgin games when they all knew that she wanted to do the same things to them.
Spike stood and threw the remote on the floor because once again, his stupid feelings for the girl were pushing aside his baser instincts to take and to overpower. Like last night with all the bullshit of taking care of her. Bathing her and holding her while she slept. He had treated her like he had his Drusilla. Just because she was having a few problems and wept with those big green eyes he had gone all mushy for her. It had to be the chip messing with other things because if it hadn’t been for that then he would have beaten her almost to death then shagged her until she begged for more before finally draining her dry. Yeah, now that was what needed to be done to the Slayer and not, the tender and sweet deflowering that kept going through his mind. Not the want to caress her gently and have her little hands hesitantly touch his body and then with big eyes ask him to take her.
He would give anything to be able to beat something to a pulp. It would remind him of who he was. Of what he was. An evil creature. Not some Nancy boy like Angel, who was lying on the bed reading a sodding poetry book. Unable to follow his nature, Spike was realizing that more and more of William was coming to the surface and he hated it. He stood placing his hands on his hips as he kept working himself into more of a temper. There was no where to go and nothing to do. Angel had already fucked him twice and Spike had already given him head and right now even sex was a boring option.
Angel looked up at him quickly before returning to his book.
“Aren’t you bored?” Spike asked.
“Yes, but there is nothing we can do about it. So, there is no reason to get all worked up about it.”
“What are you trying to say to me? That I’m getting all worked up for nothing.”
His Grand-sire smiled at him softly, “Yes, you are. We’ll be on the road soon.”
“Oh yeah, that’s going to be a whole lot of fun. Won’t it?”
Before Angel could respond the door to the hotel room opened slightly and Buffy slipped in. She froze when she realized they were awake and watching her entrance. It would have been nice to have a couple of minutes to relax before facing them. One glance at Spike and she knew he was in one of those moods which got her instantly on the defensive. Pushing it aside she turned her attention to Angel and her body began to soften into a warm glow at the look in his eyes.
“Well, well, Blondie’s back. Caved in to being who were before. Knew that bravery act wouldn’t last long. Back to being good little Buffy who is always the goody good.” Spike said.
Deciding to ignore him, Buffy made her way across the room toward Angel. The magnetic pull of him beckoned to her and all she wanted was to be in his arms. She crawled across the bed until she was nose to nose with him. Her lips met his in a gentle request for approval.
Spike watched as his anger simmered even more. She had completely ignored him, thrown herself into Angel’s arms and now they were going at it like there was no tomorrow. And all that slurping and smacking was going to make him hurl.
“Do you two have to be so noisy? It’s like neither one of you know how to actually kiss.”
When they ignored him, he flung himself onto the bed beside Buffy to childishly push back on her to get more room. He had slept there and it was his bed. And most importantly of all they were acting like he wasn’t even there. He was the one that was bored to tears and it wasn’t like they could do anything anyway.
“Spike, stop it.” Buffy whined as she pulled herself reluctantly away from Angel. She pushed herself back against him. If he wanted to be a child so could she. She looked up at Angel to let him know that she was playing and he rolled his eyes at them.
His Grande-childe had been exasperating him with his irritation and maybe this would break some of Spike’s mood.
Spike couldn’t believe the little bitch was pushing back on him like she had some damn rights. He flipped on his back and pushed at her with his hands. She giggled as she rolled over then pounced. She landed on top of him and Spike could feel his damn cock responding to the little minx just lying on him.
“Get off of me,” he ordered.
She wiggled, separated her legs and straddled him as her hands crept to his arm pits but it was that heat from between her legs that kept his attention.
“Missed me, didn’t you?” Buffy cooed as she tickled him.
He couldn’t believe her audacity. His hands encircled her arms ready to throw her off. “I did not miss you.”
“Yes, you did,” she crowed as her fingers dug into him a little deeper.
That did it. Spike flipped them over and was quite happy when the giggling stopped as he ground himself against her. She froze and those eyes got bigger.
“I thought about you while you were gone,” his eyes moved down to her breasts as one of his hands covered one of her plump soft mounds. He rubbed it, kneaded it, “about what I wanted to do with you.” He made eye contact when he heard her swallow and grinned. His fingers concentrated on the nipple now, tweaking it, rolling it until it was hard and reaching out for more, “So, if you want to say that was missing you. Then, yeah, I guess I did.”
Spike looked over to see how Angel was reacting to this and was satisfied that his eyes were just as lust glazed as his mates. It was almost time. Soon, they would both be his. His hand drifted from her breast, slowly moving down her side as he stared into her eyes. They were such a vibrant green when she was in heat and unwittingly his tongue darted out. Now, this was having fun as his hand cupped her bottom, lifting her up so that he could rub himself against that sweet pussy even better.
“Did you miss me too?” Spike whispered as he hooked her leg around him. Her eyes never left his face as his other hand went to her other hip but she beat him to it. Without any prompting her other leg joined the first one and they were wrapped tight around him. Now he was surprised but he settled himself against her as her hands were laid against his chest. They stayed still for a second but she finally broke her contact with his eyes as she allowed her hands to start exploring him. Her fingers found his nipples and began to return the favor of a few moments ago.
“Thought about you too,” her response came in a throaty whisper. Buffy could barely think over the sensations that were darting along her nerve endings. “Thought about all the things I want you to do to me. All the things I want to do to you.”
His hand wrapped itself in her hair until he was pulling her head back. Angel growled a warning but Spike ignored it. He was at the end of his ropes and he didn’t want to play games. Not anymore and he wanted to make sure that she knew it.
“Don’t say things that you don’t mean, little girl. Do you know how fast I can be inside of you? How fast I can rip through that hymen? Make you scream as I plow into you.”
Buffy whimpered. His words meant to scare her were only making her hotter. She arched up against him and she knew with one look into his eyes that she had pushed him over the edge. There wasn’t going to be any turning back at this point as his lips met hers in a violent need. Buffy wrapped her arms around him pulling him closer to her as she met him halfway.
“Stop. Now.” Angel commanded.
Spike moved to her throat attacking it like a starving man. The soft panting noises she was making only made him want to claim her more. They were quickly being lost to the primitive sides of them as her fingernails dug into his back and he growled in triumph.
Suddenly Angel pulled Spike off of her and held the younger vampire in place. Spike struggled in frustration as he stared at Buffy lying there giving off the strongest mating aromas he had ever had the pleasure of smelling. She was panting through her swollen lips and the crotch of her jeans was moist from her excitement. Buffy needed and wanted to be fucked and he wanted to give it to her. He was out of control and it didn’t matter. She’d enjoy it. The violence in her nature would make her respond.
“Let go of me,” Spike ordered.
“Get a hold of yourself. Not like this.”
Buffy had never felt as alone in her life as when Angel ripped Spike from her. It was like having her skin torn off and her body screamed its protest. She needed it. There was such a throbbing between her legs and she wanted to cum so badly. She wanted to be filled and rode hard until she screamed. She wanted to rip him and bite him. To make him hers and hers alone. Her eyes shut as she realized what had almost happened. Angel had been forgotten in her lust for Spike. Shame filled her at the thought that her body had taken over any reason she had. She sprang from the bed and ran to the bathroom to hide.
As she ran from the room, Spike ceased his struggles and leaned back against Angel. He tried to force himself to relax as Angel’s hands caressed him as a mother would and began to rock them.
“Why?” Spike asked.
“I don’t want her to remember her first time like that. And I don’t want her to be able to say later that she was lost in the passion and that it was a mistake. Do you understand?”
Spike nodded as he turned to cuddle closer to the body holding him but the sound of weeping broke through to them.
“Go to her. You’re the one she needs,” Spike said as he pulled away to lie on the bed. As he watched Angel go into the bathroom his hand pulled down his zipper. Figured he may as well give himself some relief while he waited for the tender moment to be over.
~~~~~~~~
Buffy was sitting on the toilet lid rocking back and forth as she cried. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. She was going to come in and be all cool about it. Ask if they could stay here another night, have them go out to dinner then come back here, tell them what she had decided. Angel’s eyes would light up in love and happiness when she said she wanted to be his mate. Then they would kiss and they would fall to the bed where Spike would join them. It would be all sweet and tender and loving. Not the wild mating that she was participating in with Spike. Angel was supposed to be there holding her and telling her it was okay. But it had been just another stupid fantasy like all the others ones she had before about Angel. Nothing ever worked out the way she wanted.
The door opened and closed. She knew it was Angel and bit her lip while waiting for him to berate her whorish behavior. He went to sit on the edge of the tub and a hand came out to stroke her back.
“It shouldn’t have happened. Spike was told not to lose control with you. I’m sorry if he scared you.”
Her eyes flew open as she stared in astonishment at him. He couldn’t have possible said what he just did.
“You talked to Spike about how he’s allowed to be with me?”
“Of course, he can get a little…well, out of control and I know that you wouldn’t like it. I told him that he had to be gentle with you.”
“Bullshit.”
The hand on her back stopped its motions as Angel stared at her in confusion.
“He didn’t scare me, Angel.”
“Why were you crying?”
“Because…I…because you weren’t involved and I felt like I was betraying you.”
“That’s why I stopped it. I knew it wasn’t how you wanted it to be. He was just pushing things too far.” Angel’s hand had moved to stroking her hair.
“Oh, God, you just don’t get it, do you?” Buffy pushed away from him and hurried out into the main room. “It was because I thought I was hurting you that I was up….”
“Bullocks, can’t a man get any privacy in this place,” Spike yelped as he jumped up stuffing his still unsatisfied cock back into his pants. He looked up and took in the Slayer’s face as she continued to stare speechless at the bulge in his pants. “Well, we know how to shut her up now.”
That snapped her out of it. Her gaze quickly darted to Angel who was staring at her as if he didn’t know her at all and then back to Spike who was staring at her smugly then back down to his bulge. She had never seen a penis outside of pictures and films before and the reality was giving her an ‘Oh, my God’ reaction.
A hand came to rest on her shoulder and she turned to look back over at Angel.
“Buffy, are you all right?”
“Of course, she’s all right. She just saw something that’s making her mouth water in anticipation. Right, pet?”
“Shut up both of you. You,” she pointed at Angel, “quit treating me like some damn china doll that is so delicate I don’t know what I want. He didn’t scare me or frighten me, he was turning me on. I liked it. But you’re right. I don’t want the first time like that because I want it to be all three of us together. And as for you,” her finger and gaze turned to Spike, “I’m not some damn conquest for you to add to your belt. Not to add to your arrogance level at all, but yes I want to have sex with you. I don’t know why but you do something to me. Get over it. If you’re only doing it to prove a point then I don’t want to be with you.”
They both continued to stare at her as she seemed to be taking a break before getting started again. Suddenly she undid her jeans and pulled them down to her hips.
“I decided that I wanted to make a commitment to this relationship but I think I am the only one who is taking it seriously.”
They stared at the fresh tattoo on Buffy’s stomach right above her panty line. It was three hearts entwined.
“It was to symbolize our commitment to be together. That we were in this for better or worse.”
She did her jeans back up and their gazes broke back to her face and waited. They knew she wasn’t done yet. And she wasn’t.
“Angel, make damn sure that you can share me with Spike. If you are going to be hovering over us and trying to control us then I don’t want to be in this. And I don’t want in a month or so for you to decide you hate me because I like what Spike is doing to me and you’re jealous. I love you and I want to be only yours forever but I can’t have what I want so I am willing to compromise with this plan of yours. Just be sure that you’re sure.”
“And me?” Spike asked softly.
“And you? You think I am this stupid naïve little girl that doesn’t know anything about what you are doing. I lived in the world of the ultimate players when I was in Daytona and just because I never played doesn’t mean I don’t know the rules. I’m learning to read your eyes. I know when you’re acting like you care and when the caring is actually there. Don’t play with me. I’d rather you’d be honest.”
Dismissing them she moved to grab her bag and began to throw her stuff into it. The whole evening was ruined for what she had planned and it was just going to have to wait.
“Are you two going to stand there all night or are we going to get on the road?”
At her prodding the two vampires began to move. They were both thinking over what she had said and realization began to sink in. Of the three of them she was the only one who had seemed to have thought beyond the initial agreement. In a way it was funny that an eighteen year old had put more thought into the relationship than two vampires with over four hundred years of experience between them. It was this part of her, the part that surprised those around her, was one of the reasons that Angel had fallen in love with her. And the spunk she had shown was one of the reasons that Spike wanted her so desperately.
As they followed Buffy out the door both vampires shook their heads. This one was going to be one interesting…ride.
