Not again...
Mood:  special
Topic: Everyday life
I thought things had calmed down, and I even thought about living here again. But then I just heard a loud noise, and realized that I'll never be able to fully relax here..by my self...at night...

***** ****
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Who cares?
Topic: Everyday life
If you're wondering how I'm doing with the essay I'd like to illustrate it with a cartoon:



That's the state I'm in now. Denial. I gave up a long time ago *sigh*

Monkey Love
Mood:  cool
Topic: Tv
I just finished watching an episode of Love Monkey. I don't know what it is about, but it always makes me so calm. Even though I know I don't have the time to watch anything, and I never have the patience to watch anything from beginning to end, I always get caught up and stop noticeing the world around me. It's nothing special really, just Tom Cavanagh (from Ed), Jason Priestly and popper Teddy Geiger. But still...

Too bad there doesn't seem to be any more episodes...

Party crasher
Mood:  surprised
Topic: Everyday life
Somehow I ended up at my cousin's daughter's birthday party, even though I wasn't invited. I felt a bit stupid standing there without a present, even though it wasn't fault.
She's so grown up now, but I still catch myself talking to her like she's a baby. I remember hating that when I was a kid.
The funny thing is that people still call her by my name, we were more alike when she was younger, but I guess we still have some of the same traits...even though we're not that closely related...

Nightshift?
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Paula Abdul - Rush, rush
Topic: Everyday life
I'm starting to get a bit worried about not getting my essay in on time. I guess that's a progress just in it self - that I'm actually realising this two(one actually with my badly timed vaccation in mind) weeks ahead. I guess I could still work during the nights while I'm away, but I wouldn't mind some sleep as well.

But I'm still happy that if I just make it through next tuesday, I'll have at least 3 points...which is half of what I got in an entire semester last time ;)

America II
Mood:  vegas lucky
Now Playing: RHCP - Californication
Topic: Bad News
I got one of those pre-approved creditcards in the mail today, and it is very tempting. Just like they knew that I need money really bad right now. I could pay off my debts, go shopping and even afford that weekend trip to go and see my friend. I just don't know if it'd be worth being in debt for the next six(!) years...but I'm almost at that point where I think "I can't pay my bills as it is, so what difference would another loan make..?" Just tell me "No!" *sigh*

Mood:  down
Topic: Bad News
My beautiful ring is still gone. I want it back. Give it to me!!

Group dynamics
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Timbuktu - Lobbyn om 5
Topic: Everyday life
It quite interesting to see how you keep comparing the people you meet with the people you know. Like you have to put everyone in some kind of category. But the people I meet in class now, I don't know where to put them or even what I think of them. They don't seem to know that I'm even there. Went and sat down beside them before class today. It took five minutes before any of them even noticed that I was at the table. There's really only one person in that class that I feel is remotely like me. I'm sure they're nice people, if you're a person that they'd like to hang out with, but... I don't know...
Got yet another assignment back today, I don't know what to think. I try to bring up things that the others haven't thought about, but all I get is a couple of "yes" and a "fine" at the end. Everyone else have lots of notes and "good" written all over it. I guess I should be happy to even pass the darn class. But still...I wish I could get something more than just a "barely pass"...just once...

Stopped by the gym on the way home. I felt sooo unmotivated, but I made it through almost all the exercises. I hate working out when it's too hot outside.

Think first, talk later
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Everyday life
As usual I managed to make a fool out of myself. We're talking about preconceived ideas in class, and at the end of class my mind drifted away a bit and I kept staring at the watch. Would I make it to the bus on time? Suddenly the professor asked me if I've treated people differently because of their looks, and I blurted out "Of course, all the time" before I had time to think about it. But I do, we all do. Looks is the first thing that we notice in another person, before they open their mouths. If we see an older person we might talk a bit louder, if we see a cute boy we might smile a bit more etc
We all do it, all the time.

Wo-ho
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: Usher - Yeah
Topic: Everyday life
I started off by not studying. And then my phone rang. It was a friend of mine who wanted me to come with her to a music festival, Hultsfred, but I don't know if I'll get the money in time. After that I slept in front of the tv for a while. Finally I grabbed the phone and talked to my cousin and then went to see him, and his wife and their two kids and my grandparents and my other cousin. There was a lot of noise but I had fun.
At the end of the evening I went home to my mother and made her cook for me, we had some not so very tasty ciders and I fell asleep.