Weightier Matters

Awfully Thin

 by Joyce Guy

It must be awful
to be so thin
That you have to eat lots
over and over again.

They say metabolism
is your secret weapon;
But I want to know,
How does it happen?

You can eat ice-cream
bowl after bowl,
loaded off with toppings
delicious and cold.

You  can eat cake,
two pieces of pie,
piled with whipped cream;
full of calories high.

Your  waistline stays trim,
Your  cholesterol low,
no matter how idle,
or how old you grow.

So please tell me, Why,
When I eat like a cat,
my lipids go up,
and my body gets fat.

Life After ACoronary

by Joyce Guy

The doctor said, "No stress at all,
And cut out all Cholesterol;
Exercise to trim the waist,
No more fats or foods with taste."

That may not sound so hard to do,
But It's no fun, I'm telling you.
You're allowed 65 daily grams of fat,
But one good meal takes care of that.

Two eggs,  sausage, biscuits , and grits
And a mid-morning  SNICKER®   makes 72 hits;
 Lunch at the Colonels with two pieces fried
potatoes & gravy and slaw on the side;

Make fats at 117 grams the winner,
And I haven't even had my dinner.
A ChocolateShake on the way home,
Adds 8 grams more before dinner gets done.

The 6 oz. Serloin, Potato with fixings,
And a  Salad with Dressing  has played the dickens;
 Making a total of 185 grams of fat,
And a pre-bed snack adds to that.

But I've solved the problems, am cutting the fat,
for a healthy life is where it's at;
Just reading the cookbook throws me in rages,
So I'm foregoing the food and eating the pages.





by Joyce Guy

If you keep nagging
about my weight
Your rapier tongue
may seal your fate.

All I hear is,
"You don't need that,
think of the calories,
think of the fat."

I can't have cake
or a slice of pie,
without your letting
a comment fly.

"You have salad,"
you say to me;
while you have a Serloin,
or maybe a `T'

You really pig out
on your steak and your fries;
while I eat my salad
with tears in my eyes.

 Sure you can eat
and never gain weight,
no matter how much,
no matter how late;

While I eat an ounce
and put on a pound;
my wrinkles smooth out
and my body gets round;

But one more comment, my love,
and you're done;
for my next meal...you're right...

it's your tongue.







Secrets of Successful Dieting

by Joyce Guy

Designers say lean
is the look that is in;
that your life is a failure
if your body's not thin.

Doctors say fat
is bad for your health;
but taking it off
may cost all your wealth.

I know a secret
the whole world wants to know;
how to lose weight,
make the rolls of fat go.

If you want to lose weight
there are diets galore
of lettuce soup, grapefruit,
carbohydrates and more.

There are high protien drinks,
and fad foods that endure,
 Sweet and Low® , Nutra Sweet® ,
Slimfast®  and Ensure®

You can take pills
that suppress appetite,
Ayds®  to make you feel full,
satisfied with a bite:

You can exercise and sweat
`til you're blue in the face
and never lose a pound,
it's a fattie's disgrace.

 I'll share with  you this secret
of diet that I tout:
when you take a bite of food
if it tastes good...spit it out!


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