The Love Of My Life: Part Three

At Long Last...

  • Finally, the wait is almost over. In just a few brief hours, Austin Powers 2 will finally be here. Sweet relief soothes my soul. It's like a starving man biting into a juicy Big Mac, a smoker finally getting that nicotene fix after a hard, long day trapped in a smoke-free office building, a heroin junkie finally shooting his veins full. Heather's been all over the media lately, television and magazines, promoting the hell out of the flick. Could she possibly look any better? Impossible. Access Hollywood reported she's dating Ed Burns, one of the guys from Saving Private Ryan, but I'm sure it won't last. Guy seems kind of a load if you ask me. And last week her lawyers dropped the stalking/harassment suit she filed against me a few weeks back, which I take as a sign that she's finally beginning to realize our destiny together. But only time will tell. Eighteen hours, twenty-seven minutes to go...

    Wacky Fan Mail

  • "I have the utmost respect for you and your brilliant work. The website is amazing and I can totally relate to your situation. Here's how Heather first came into my life:

    I first saw Heather about nine months ago, in Drugstore Cowboy. She gave an amazing performance and I was enchanted by her beauty. Then I somewhat forgot about her for a while. Then I saw Swingers. I am sorry to tell you that she is not the love of my life but in that movie she looks exactly like the love of my life. That was when I really became interested in her. I have seen Boogie Nights and she was gorgeous and talented in that, too. Still, she was second to my one and only love. Then, just as I was beginning to make my move on my love, her scumbag ex-boyfriend comes back into the picture. He cheats on her and she still keeps going back. Its probably because he has a nine-inch penis (according to her), and to that I can not compare. So Heather has kept me going recently. She is a goddess, and until my love comes to her senses, Heather is the one for me."

    But then, of course, there's the flip side...

  • "Recently, in scouring the Internet for pictures of Heather Graham showing us what God gave her, I stumbled across your page. Might I say, you are quite sick, pathetic, and in general need a life. You are the kind of person that makes me sick and serves only to remind me that "fan" is a derivative of the word "fanatic." You are living in your own little demented universe where Heather Graham serves as an anchor for everything your sick psyche dares to come up with."

    Welcome to reality. She doesn't know who you are, she probably doesn't care, and if she did, she'd slap a restraining order on your ass, because you are definately a first-rate stalker. I mean, you're the kind of guy who probably goes on "Hollywood Star Homes" tours just so you can find out where she lives, then plant your piece-of-shit rusted out Chevette in front of it for weeks on end, whacking off every time she comes out to get the morning mail."

    Of course, after this berating he goes on to ask me if I can send him any naked pictures I might have of her. But hey, us quite sick, pathetic, and in general need of a life types gotta serve society some kind of purpose, right?


    Okay, I know this review is a little late in the coming, but I've been having some problems with the Feds again. I was forced to leave the state of California and retreat to a location I'm not about to disclose. Yet here I am, my site's still up and running strong, and all is well with the universe. Austin Powers 2. That Heather looked unbelievably amazing through the whole thing, there can be no doubt. The thigh-high boots, the little mini-dresses... Wow. Her acting, though, let me wondering what was up. She's put in some amazing performances in the past, so what happened? It looked like this was her first movie or something, it was practically that painful to watch. But I'm willing to forgive her, and I still love her, as I always will.

    December 25, 2000, 12:47 pm

    Christmas, Hannukkah, Kwanzaa, Rammadan, or Solstice, whatever your religious preference might dictate, insert a "Happy" or "Merry" in front of it, and that's my season's greetings. I know it's been a damn long time since an update, and for that I apologize. I apologize even more, however, for what I am about to say. Heather no longer holds the top spot in my heart. She hasn't for about six months now. I know this may come as a shock to many of my faithful readers who have traced the path of our relationship, as I've chronicled it for you, but her face (not to mention body) has been replaced by that of another: Jennifer Love Hewitt. What can I say; she blindsided me while watching Can't Hardly Wait. She has come to embody the perfection that is woman for me, from her sweet smile, to her gorgeous body, to her angelic face, and, as hard as this is for even me to believe, she finally dethroned Heather. And yes, that might just be the longest run-on sentence in the English language ever. I just wanted to leave one final update to provide closure to this site, begun nearly three years ago, for the fans. Thank you for coming. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I've enjoyed writing it, and I hope this online glimpse into my psyche hasn't terrified you too much. Could a "The Love Of My Life: Jennifer Love Hewitt" site be in my future? Very possibly. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I remain, your obedient servant...

    T. Robert DuVal

    "The Love Of My Life: Heather Graham"
    "The Love Of My Life: Part Two"
    "Heather Graham: Space Cadet"
    "Her Filmography"