The Love Of My Life (Continued)

"Sex Symbol?"

  • Just happened to catch Heather on Letterman last week for Lost In Space. Tight black dress, really high heels... bestill my beating heart. She admitted to having a boyfriend, which of course broke my heart, but even worse, what really made me cringe, was that several times during the interview, she actually referred to Letterman as a "sex symbol". Sex symbol! All her friends think that he's a sex symbol, she said. Sex symbol! David Letterman! Gap-tooth grinning, toupee-wearing, bespectacled David Letterman is a sex symbol, she claimed! Then let me tell you something: if Letterman is a sex symbol, I'm Tom Cruise, okay? I find it nearly impossible to imagine any woman anywhere in the world watching his disasterous Academy Awards outing a couple years back thinking 'God, could I want him more...?' while he rambled on and on about Oprah and Uma. Sex symbol! If David Letterman is a sex symbol, then what is Tom Snyder? A God amongst men? But all in all, a good interview.

    Too Much Breast

  • Heather also happened to mention during her interview that her cover of Details Magazine's 'Mondo Hollywood' issue was actually banned from advertising on the sides of buses in New York City because, quote, 'it showed too much breast'. Now in my own highly (non)professional opinion, I don't think that it showed enough breast, but that's another story. But, since I just happen to be such a nice guy, I've decided to let you keep your hard-earned cash in your pocket and just give you the picture right here free of charge. I know, I know... I'm a prince.

    April 3, 1998, 7:45 p.m.

  • Lost In Space. Actually much better than I thought it would be, a pleasant surprise. Heather plays Judy Robinson, medical officer on the Jupiter II as well as William Hurt and Mimi Rogers' oldest daughter. For those of you who don't want to see it or figure to wait until it hits Blockbuster, I have just three words for you: full vinyl jumpsuit. Yes, you read the screen correctly. Full vinyl jumpsuit. Personally, I'm convinced that's why it actually beat Titanic for the number one spot at the box office this past weekend for the first time in almost three months. She does wind up making out with Matt Le Blanc - who, by the way, should be forgiven for Ed because he actually turns out to be pretty good here - but not before she seduces him, then pours water over his head and gets in several snide remarks about his highly goofy attempts to get her into bed. I doubt these come-on lines would work here in the 1990s, let alone the 2050s, when pick-up lines will have undoubtedly become more highly advanced. She doesn't just nail him like (yes, my hate still seethes) Jamie Walters and let him deflower her. Good movie, worth the $6.75. And I even got a free mini-poster for the movie when I bought the ticket, which features, yes, Heather in the full vinyl jumpsuit. Sometimes God can be good.

    Who The Hell Is Guinness, Anyways?

  • Somebody call that guy Guinness, whoever the hell he is, because this is one for the record books. Okay, stay with me: Boogie Nights is still in a few second-run theaters, even though it's been released on video. One. Then Lost In Space just came out a few weeks ago. Two. Then, this Friday, Scream 2 is being rereleased to theaters, which makes three, and the same day Two Girls And A Guy comes out, becoming number four. Now if my math is correct, that makes four films, all in theaters, all featuring Heather. Now that's got to be some kind of record, don't you think? Now lots of actors have done two: Nicolas Cage did it with Con Air and Face/Off last summer, and Leonardo DiCaprio did it more recently with Titanic and The Man In The Iron Mask. There might even be a few who have done three at a time, although I can't think of anyone offhand, but four? I think not. So I'm contacting the Guinness people today to try to get her in. I'll keep you all posted.

    Aimee Graham (Answer To The "Extra")

  • Okay, I've seen From Dusk Till Dawn maybe a hundred times, but I never noticed one particular name in the credits: Aimee Graham, the countergirl from Jackie Brown I mentioned back on the first page. For those of you who've seen it, she's the blond hostage the Gecko brothers take in their hold-up of Benny's World Of Liquor. So I did a little research on the 'Net and found that she is, in fact, Heather's younger sister. Not many real noticable appearances: she was in Don't Do It, some Heather movie I've never heard of, and Amos And Andrew, a little-known Nicolas Cage/Samuel L. Jackson flick. So that question has been answered, and my mind can finally rest.


  • Okay, update time. Heather's latest offering, Two Girls And A Guy, came and went so fast I never got a chance to see it, so I'll have to wait until its video release to check it out. Lost In Space is also pretty much finished theatrically: after a strong opening weekend, it died out pretty quickly. It's still lingering in a few theaters, but not many, so it'll be hitting the dollar theaters pretty soon. Heather made the cover of yet another unknown magazine, Femme Fatale, but she also got a nomination for Breakthrough Performance on the much-known network called MTV for Rollergirl. So keep your fingers crossed.


  • Okay, it's been months since Heather's put out anything new, and I'm starting to suffer. Shakes, dehydration, dementia, constant stuttering, heart arrythmia - I'm even starting to take notice of Jennifer Love Hewitt, who's quickly threatening to replace Heather as my number one girl. But anyways, here's a little information I happened to come across. Heather's currently dating Stephen Hopkins, director of Lost In Space. They're living together. Lucky bastard. And during the filming of Diggstown, Heather actually had a relationship with James Woods. He's gotta be twice her age. Now I respect James Woods, always have, but just three little words about that: "rocking the cradle", okay? Aside from that, she's all but vanished. Heather, Heather. wherefore art thou, Heather?!?

    Yeah, Baby!

  • Good news, all! Heather's next flick comes out this summer - she's teamed with Mike Myers in the fast-coming sequel to Mike Myers's Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery, "The Spy Who Shagged Me!" We all know that she shags like a minx from Boogie Nights... but will she give it up for the "ultimate gentleman spy?" Or maybe Mr... Sorry, DOCTOR Evil. (After all, he didn't spend four years of evil medical school to be MISTER Evil, thank you very much.) And you know something? I'd rather her do Dr. Evil than Jamie Walters. Yes, that's how much I hate him.

    Dementia 13?

  • Frightening realization today, something that's had me hiding under my bed, shaking uncontrollably, for most of the day. Brad Pitt's stalker was on the Howard Stern show, some wacky broad who broke into his estate, dressed up in his clothes, and spent the night in his bed. Packing a foot-long needle and a book on witchcraft with her. And it suddenly occured to me: is this what I'm destined for? Five years from now, will I find myself sneaking into her place, wearing a Richard Nixon mask, a copy of Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas in one hand and Romeo and Juliet in the other, possibly even wearing a powder-blue leisure suit? Does this website merely enhance what is already an advanced form of dementia, and if so, will it be the thing that finally knocks me off the sharp edge of sanity, shrieking my way into the mental hospital? Quite a scary wake-up call - perhaps an increase in my medication is in order. Hmmm...

    "The Love Of My Life: Heather Graham"
    "The Love Of My Life: Part Three"
    "Heather Graham: Space Cadet"

    "Her Filmography"